“You’re here?’
Dong Xiao didn’t say anything, trying to see through Jun Xu’s lenses to see her thoughts, but it was too deep for him to reach. Jun Xu didn’t flinch or avoid it, and just smiled
‘What are you looking at?’
‘I’m late.’
‘It’s okay if you’re late.’
‘I did it on purpose!’
The atmosphere was a little tense, and the coffee shop was eerily quiet. The waiter and the owner quickly evacuated the anticipated centre of the storm, but Jun Xu just laughed
‘Childish temper‘
’Jun! Xu!‘
’Ah‘
’I want to break up with you!‘
Junxu raised an eyebrow
’Huh?‘
’I can’t stand you anymore! You’re not even a woman!‘
’Okay‘
Dong Xiao’s excited expression instantly froze, his emotions blocked from erupting, quickly subsiding, causing him to momentarily feel a little weightless and dazed. His lips trembled a few times, and Dong Xiao slowly said
’I’m getting married‘
’Congratulations’
‘Will you come?‘
’If I get an invitation and I’m not busy, I might come.‘
’Junxu… Junxu… Did you ever love me?‘
Junxu frowned
’Everyone has different subjective standards. I can only say that according to my standards, I like you.‘
’Is that all you ever liked about me?‘
’I’ve done my best.‘
Dongxiao sneered
’You call this your best?’
Jun Xu became serious, and his dark eyes looked at Dong Xiao carefully
‘I did my best.’
Dong Xiao smiled bitterly
“Okay, you did your best… Are you this dedicated to Li Shuliang…?’
Junxu’s face twitched slightly, suddenly becoming a little cold and hard. This made Dongxiao feel a little inexplicably pleased. He even looked forward to Junxu’s reaction with some schadenfreude. Junxu looked at the steam on the coffee cup, as if her whole body had frozen. After a long time, she let out a soft sigh
‘Do you want to know how I treat him?’
“Who wants to know!!’
Junxu looked at Dongxiao and flashed the smile he hated the most, then sipped his coffee elegantly. Junxu dismissed the guests
‘Anything else?’
‘Li Shuliang is dead!’
‘…Yes, he is dead…maybe…it’s better if he were dead.’
Dongxiao sneered
‘Didn’t you refuse to help him when he was in danger?’
Junxu looked up at Dongxiao, her eyes a little confused, as if this was a long time ago
‘…and not help someone in danger?”
Dong Xiao suddenly felt an urge to slap the table. He desperately wanted to pour the cold beer in his glass over this woman’s face to vent his anger, but he didn’t move.
He just couldn’t believe that every time they were together, it was him, Dong Xiao, acting like a hysterical woman.
The atmosphere was tense, Dong Xiao was on edge, and Jun Xu was lost in thought. She tilted her head and looked out the glass at the street in the sunshine, people coming and going, and slowly closed her eyes.
People… hurrying about, what are they all doing? Every time she saw it, she felt lost. Every moment the sun set, the aunties with their baskets of food and the uncles on their bicycles made her smell the happiness of the world. Once upon a time, she used to lie on the windowsill and watch her mother come home in the bright twilight. The golden sunset was so happy, soaking her with its light, and the ordinary happiness of the time seeped into life little by little as the smoke from the cooking rose. She was so happy that she wished the days would just stop, that she would never have to wish for anything else, and that she would never have to lose anything.
Then she joined the crowd, happy and stumbling, creating her own
‘I like knives, I like the delicate brilliance of the snow-white blade in the sunlight.’
The country where cherry blossoms fall is destined to be the beginning of her growing old. There, she met Lishu Liang, a local, a fellow villager.
‘Jun He has since retired from the knife. If I were to use the knife, I would not refuse to participate in the master’s business.”
When I was young and impetuous, I always felt that I was old and mature. Jun He retired from the knife and left, never returning to Japan again. Li Shuliang watched from behind, never chasing after him. What use is love that has never been spoken of to chase after?
In the face of the youthful ambition of Jun He, love is ridiculous.
You guard your own, I guard mine. Happiness, black and white, are two unconnected worlds. From the moment he retired, Jun He was just an ordinary person, going to work, buying food, and watching TV with his parents at home.
Even when her master was killed and Li Shuliang came to her with his brothers, Jun He was still just an ordinary person. She could calmly say
‘No.”
I, Junxu, have never wanted anything. I just want to quietly keep what I have. However, Junxu slowly came to understand that whether or not there was hope for future gains, time would still methodically take away her meagre savings. It was as if the beads in her hand would slip from her grasp, fall to the ground, and shatter.