fissure

Script:
A passage was engraved on Jiang Xi’s drumsticks, and later tattooed on his waist. It was the last thing Pei Chongyuan said to him before dumping him.
Later, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Don’t hold a grudge against me.’
Jiang Xi put out the cigarette in his hand: ‘I will hold a grudge against you for the rest of my life.’
Pei Chongyuan x Jiang Xi
Romantic and fickle Gentleman rascal Attacker x Unruly and headstrong Rational and decisive Receiver
Chapter 1: No more love
On the day of the frost-fall, a snowstorm hit.
The city, which had always had light snowfall, had its first snowfall in October this year. The first snowfall was so heavy that primary and secondary schools were closed and office workers went home early.
Jiang Xi glanced at the message pushed to his phone by a certain weather app, which reminded him that a cold wave had arrived and that there would be a significant temperature drop in the next 24 hours, so he should pay attention to keeping warm.
He took out a heavy coat from the closet, threw it on casually, and prepared to go out without even fastening the buttons.
‘Brother Xi,’
someone called from behind him.
Jiang Xi turned around and took the scarf Qin Song handed him: ‘Are you driving?’
‘Yes.’
‘You need to change to snow tires, don’t you?’ Qin Song looked out the window at the slow-moving traffic, ‘Have you prepared them?’
‘It’s fine.‘ Jiang Xi felt in his pockets and saw that his phone and keys were all there. “I don’t think I’ll be busy tonight, so remember to do the inventory.”
’Don’t worry!’ Qin Song smiled and opened the door for him. “Have a good trip, boss, and be safe! Have a smooth ride!”
A smooth ride was out of the question.
Jiang Xi stepped outside and put one foot in the snow, which made a “crunch” sound.
The fresh snow had not been trodden on before.
Jiang Xi lifted his foot, leaving a clean, fluffy snow footprint behind.
The parking lot was not far away, so he walked on, pushing his way through the snow.
Before getting into the car, Jiang Xi stood there and brushed the snowflakes from his hair and clothes with his hands, then lifted his leg and sat in the driver’s seat.
It was very cold in the car, and he had forgotten to warm it up in advance.
It was only mid-October, and who would have thought that there would be a snowstorm at this time of year.
Jiang Xi took off his scarf and threw it on the passenger seat. Suddenly, he noticed that something seemed to be stuck in the gap between the seat and the backrest.
He leaned over, reached in and took it out, looked at it, and the next second opened the window and threw it accurately into the trash can by the roadside.
It was Pei Chongyuan’s cufflink, and he didn’t know when it had fallen there.
Jiang Xi closed the window and sat there smoking a cigarette.
He hadn’t planned to think about that person, but for some reason, because of a cufflink, he couldn’t help but think about him again.
This was all Pei Chongyuan’s fault. The two had long since agreed not to have anything to do with each other, but a while ago, he had even asked him to attend some bullshit birthday banquet. Jiang Xi had already said that he would only attend his funeral.
Jiang Xi didn’t go to that so-called birthday banquet, and Pei Chongyuan came to the store to look for him.
He didn’t want to argue with that person in front of the staff, so he simply took the person out and sat in the car to chat.
He probably accidentally dropped it at that time.
Jiang Xi smiled with the corners of his mouth, thinking that this was a bit ambiguous.
How could cufflinks fall off if you talk nicely?
They didn’t have sex in the car this time.
Cigarette ash fell on his pants, so he blew it lightly and rubbed it with his hand.
Unsurprisingly, a piece of his pants was stained.
He stubbed out his cigarette and drove away.
Before pulling onto the road, Jiang Xi couldn’t help but glance back at the trash can.
It was just like when he and Pei Chongyuan had broken up, he couldn’t help but look at the guy for a while.
Pei Chongyuan = trash.
It was snowing heavily, and the traffic jam made people edgy.
It was said that there had been a four-car pileup ahead, and no one could move at all behind it.
Jiang Xi opened the window and a cold wind rushed in.
He lit a cigarette and listened to the song.
He had listened to this song for more than seven years. At the beginning, Tong Ye recommended it to him. That year, during class, Tong Ye forced a pair of headphones into his ears.
He didn’t like it at first, but then he heard it at Pei Chongyuan’s house once, and fell in love with it after that.
It had been six and a half years since then.
Even now, he can still remember the way the vinyl record looked when it was spinning, the way the needle touched and rubbed against the spinning record, much like their lives repeating over and over.
Jiang Xi finally realised that even though he had told Pei Chongyuan that he would never speak to him again, the smell of that rubbish inevitably filled his days now.
They had known each other for eight years, and during that time, there had been three years when he had heard nothing from the other person. If that person hadn’t suddenly called him last month, he would have thought that they had really hidden away and died, just like what they did in the TV dramas.
It would be better if he were dead.
I’m just afraid that he won’t die.
Jiang Xi subconsciously flinched as his hand was burned by the cigarette, and another pinch of ash fell on his trousers.
He glanced at the time, and the car in front of him didn’t seem to be moving at all.
Looking at the red and shiny car taillights, Jiang Xi suddenly drove into the small alley next to the road.
He didn’t know if the road that the alley led to would still be congested, but he didn’t want to keep waiting here.
It’s like, he’s not sure what life would be like without Pei Chongyuan, but he doesn’t want to continue loving that person.

Chapter 2 Jiang Xi
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan were not supposed to meet.
In 2008, Jiang Xi was 18 years old and a freshman.
He stood at the entrance of the school, which was covered in snow, and the man in his headphones sang: ‘Do you remember the dreams of your youth…’
His extremely short hair was covered in snow, and his cheeks, nose and ears were all red from the cold wind.
He kept his head down, his chin and mouth tucked into the collar of his coat, as he watched the snow turn his black shoes white.
In the midst of the snowstorm, a black car stopped in front of him. The window slowly lowered, and a man asked, ‘Is this Jiang Xi?’
Jiang Xi looked up, took off his earphones on one side, and squinted because of the wind.
‘Brother Pei?’
‘Get in the car!’
Jiang Xi shook off the snow from his head before getting in the car, and then brushed the snow off his clothes. He opened the car door, and a warm feeling instantly surrounded him, as if he had stepped from midwinter into warm spring.
‘Freezing, aren’t you?’ the person in the driver’s seat said, handing Jiang Xi a can of warm coffee.
Jiang Xi politely thanked him and reached for the coffee, being careful not to let his icy hands touch the other person.
In this terrible weather, Jiang Xi had not planned to go out, but he had promised Kong Xun early on to go to a birthday party at Subway, and a promise should always be kept.
Jiang Xi and Kong Xun met on a music forum. At the time, he was still in high school and liked to write songs on his own when he had nothing better to do, and then post them on the forum. Kong Xun was the administrator of that forum and also an independent musician with a small reputation in the circle.
Jiang Xi’s several songs were very popular on the forum, and the two became familiar with each other. Later, Jiang Xi took the college entrance exam here, and Kong Xun still went to the airport to pick him up.
Kong Xun has been taking care of him for more than three months since he came to college.
Subway is a bar owned by Kong Xun, and he often invites Jiang Xi to hang out there.
Today is Kong Xun’s birthday, and Jiang Xi was planning to go straight there after class in the afternoon. Unexpectedly, there was a snowstorm and it was impossible to get a taxi.
By the time Kong Xun called, Jiang Xi had already been standing at the school gate for nearly half an hour. As soon as the other person heard this, he immediately asked a friend who was doing some errands in the university town and was about to return to the city for help.
In this way, Pei Chongyuan made a special detour to come and pick Jiang Xi up.
It was snowing and blowing hard, and Pei Chongyuan scolded Kong Xun the whole way, but as soon as he saw Jiang Xi standing in the snow and wind, his scolding stopped immediately. He put on a smile and stopped the car.
Tall and slender, dressed all in black, he looked very cool.
After Jiang Xi got in the car, Pei Chongyuan secretly took a look at the other person.
Her short hair, dampened by the melted snow, and her ears, reddened by the cold wind, looked as if they were about to bleed.
Her eyelashes were long, her nose straight, her lips thin and the corners of her mouth slightly upturned.
Jiang Xi’s hand, which she had extended to take the coffee, was beautiful, with cleanly manicured nails, although they were also red from the cold.
Everywhere was the look that Pei Chongyuan liked.
He smiled.
Jiang Xi, who was sitting on one side warming her hands with the coffee, had no idea what he was smiling at, but the man who was always so economical with his words didn’t ask many questions.
‘How old are you?’ Pei Chongyuan asked.
‘18.‘
’Just started college?‘
’Mm-hm.‘ Jiang Xi had originally just responded with a single word, but thinking that the other person had come to pick him up specifically, such a perfunctory response really wasn’t polite, “Freshman this year.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed again.
Jiang Xi looked at him in confusion.
’How did you and Kong Xun meet?’ Pei Chongyuan asked, ’Working part-time at Subway?’
‘No,‘ Jiang Xi looked out the window, with headphones in one ear, the song playing in a loop, and replied, “I met him on a forum.”
’Oh,’ Pei Chongyuan understood. He had heard Kong Xun mention that forum before, but he was not a music lover and had never looked at it.
The two were silent for a while, and Pei Chongyuan asked him with a smile, ’What are you listening to?’
Jiang Xi was taken aback, suddenly realising that he seemed to be being disrespectful. He quickly took off his headphones and turned off the music player on his phone.
‘Don’t turn it off.’
There was a red light ahead, and Pei Chongyuan slowly stopped the car and looked at Jiang Xi with a smile, ‘Let me hear it too.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him and took his phone out of his coat pocket, pressing the play button.
As soon as the prelude started, Pei Chongyuan smiled. He didn’t expect this young kid to be listening to this song.
Li Zongsheng’s voice itself carries a story, mature and slightly weathered, singing about the so-called price of love, like the earnest advice of an elder who has seen it all.
Pei Chongyuan looked at the blurry signal light ahead, his fingers tapping gently on the steering wheel, singing along with Li Zongsheng.
Do you still remember the dreams of your youth?
Like a flower that never withers.
Jiang Xi looked at him, listening to his soft singing.
The man in front of her looked to be in his thirties, and from his hairstyle to his clothes, he showed good taste. The dark blue shirt, with the sleeves slightly rolled up to his forearms, gave him a mature and elegant appearance, but not in a way that was obtrusive or annoying.
Pei Chongyuan’s voice was slightly lower than Jiang Xi’s, and when he sang with such concentration, lost in thought and looking forward, Jiang Xi felt that the song must have brought back some memories for him.
The traffic light changed colour, from red to green.
The car in front started slowly. Pei Chongyuan laughed softly when he sang ‘I’ve also shed tears of sadness,’ and then started the car.
The song kept playing on repeat for the rest of the way, and the two didn’t speak again. It was as if they were each lost in their own thoughts, finding their own stories in the song.
Jiang Xi quite liked this atmosphere. There was no need to say something cheesy to someone you didn’t know well. You just needed to sit in a warm and comfortable car, smell the light and pleasant perfume, and listen to your favorite song.
Outside, the snow and wind were getting stronger, and the road was becoming more difficult to navigate. The trip should have only taken half an hour, but they ended up arriving at Subway almost an hour later.
When they pulled up, Jiang Xi turned off the song.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Okay, you go in. Give Kong Xun a message for me, and tell him I’ll invite him to dinner tomorrow.’
‘Aren’t you going in, Brother Pei?’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘I’m not going in. I have something to do today.’
Jiang Xi thought that the other person was just passing by and happened to be coming here as well, so he picked him up. He didn’t expect that he had actually come here specially to drop him off, and for a moment, he felt a little embarrassed.
‘Have fun, little friend,’ Pei Chongyuan raised his hand and helped Jiang Xi unbuckle his seat belt.
Jiang Xi didn’t like being called little friend, but when Pei Chongyuan called him that, he was surprisingly not upset.
‘Okay,’ Jiang Xi was about to get out of the car, ‘thank you, Brother Pei.’
“Wait!’
Jiang Xi had already put one foot on the snow when he was suddenly called back.
When he turned around, a business card was handed to him.
‘It was nice to meet you,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a meaningful smile in his eyes, ‘you can contact me if you need anything in the future.’
Jiang Xi took the business card, quickly put it in his coat pocket, said thank you, and got out of the car.
As Pei Chongyuan stepped on the accelerator and drove off, he glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Jiang Xi still standing there. The kid was quite interesting. He didn’t say a word in the car, and he didn’t even look at the business card when he received it. However, he stood there and looked at the business card carefully after getting out of the car.
The business card had his name, contact information, and a title that was impressive enough to fool people.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and glanced at Jiang Xi’s long legs again. He cracked the window a little and lit a cigarette before driving away.

Chapter 3 Pei Chongyuan
After meeting Pei Chongyuan once, Jiang Xi never saw him again for a long time. He even lost the business card that Pei Chongyuan had put in his pocket. As for Pei Chongyuan himself, he was completely forgotten.
On the contrary, Pei Chongyuan, who had only met him once, couldn’t stop thinking about the boy named Jiang Xi.
He was tall with long legs, had his hair cut short and cool, and looked quite individualistic.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t know why, but he always remembered Jiang Xi’s ear piercing.
At the time, Jiang Xi was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, and as soon as he turned his head, he saw the other person’s ears, which were red from the cold, and the earlobes, which had been pierced but weren’t wearing any earrings.
Those red ear piercings always appeared in his mind, lingering there, like a spell.
Later, when he was done with his work, he invited Kong Xun to dinner alone, nominally to make up for the regret that his old friend didn’t show up at the birthday party, but actually to ask about Jiang Xi.
‘It’s really hard to see you,’ Kong Xun said as soon as he came in, lighting a cigarette. ‘My bar is still having an event tonight, and I’ve abandoned my duties as a manager just to have dinner with you.’
Kong Xin’s bar is doing well. After several crackdowns that were ostensibly ‘strengthening spiritual civilization’ but were actually targeting gay bars, it has still stood firm. Not only has it not fallen, it has also become one of the biggest bars in the area. It just no longer advertises itself as a gay bar.
That’s just the way it is in their city. No one knows which big shot is in the closet and is so homophobic.
‘I’ve been waiting for you for a while.‘ Pei Chongyuan had indeed been busy recently. Someone under his command had messed up a project, and although the mess wasn’t that big, it had still left him flustered for a while.
’So, can we take a break?’ Kong Xun asked, taking a drag on his cigarette and starting to look at the menu.
Pei Chongyuan sat opposite him, sipping tea, taking his time, and luckily not getting the urge to smoke.
He has been smoking a lot recently, and his throat is suffering. The doctor suggested that he drink more clear tea to cleanse his lungs.
‘Not exactly taking a break, but not as busy as before,’ Pei Chongyuan asked him, ‘what’s on at your restaurant tonight?’
‘A band is performing there,’ Kong Xun pointed to a few dishes, ‘their lead singer and I used to go out, and wanted to organise a small meet-up. As there was no suitable venue, I let him use my restaurant.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed disdainfully: ‘Were you good with him? You slept with him, didn’t you?’
Kong Xun laughed and scolded him.
‘By the way, that boy you asked me to pick up at the conservatory last time, what’s your relationship with him?’
Kong Xun finished ordering and took a drag on his cigarette. He was taken aback by his question.
“Who?’
‘Who?‘ Pei Chongyuan scolded him, “You’re fucking flirting all day long, fucking this and fucking that, your brain is occupied by fucking sperm.”
’Tsk, why are you scolding him?‘
Kong Xun really has no recollection, he has a lot on his plate every day, and the last time he met Pei Chongyuan was more than a month ago, so it’s strange that he can remember.
’The one you asked me to pick up on your birthday.’
‘Hey, now that you mention it, I remember,‘ Kong Xun said, “Jiang Xi.”
Yes, that was the name.
Kong Xun asked, “You’re thinking about him?”
Pei Chongyuan calmly took a sip of tea and didn’t answer.
Kong Xun sneered, “What a horny bastard.”
’What man isn’t horny?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’I’ve been really tired lately, so I want someone to comfort me, can I?’
‘Sure, I didn’t say no.’ Kong Xun looked at him through the smoke of his cigarette. ’It’s a foregone conclusion that Jiang Xi is gay. I’ve never slept with him, so I don’t know his type or what he likes, but I do know that he’s very stubborn. We’ve only known each other for about half a year, and every time he comes to my shop, there are always a lot of men and women showing interest in him, one-night stands, people who are serious, everyone. I’ve never seen him go out with anyone.’
‘Keeping a clean body is good.‘
’Not necessarily,‘ Kong Xun said, “still young, looking like that, nothing has happened to him.”
Pei Chongyuan listened and nodded thoughtfully.
’If you want to try, I don’t mind being the middleman. Hey, but I have to declare in advance, I won’t do anything to pimp. That guy Jiang Xi is quite good. If you want to ease your mind at once or something, I won’t get involved, I’ll just introduce you to each other.’ Kong Xun is a shrewd person. Although he has done many evil deeds over the years, he can’t be blamed when the past comes back to haunt him.
Pei Chongyuan sipped his tea and pondered.
There is never a shortage of beautiful women in this world. Do you want someone with a cold temperament who can still blush with nervousness when you get into bed, or someone with a charming personality who can arouse your desire with just a glance from 800 people away? Pei Chongyuan has seen it all.
He doesn’t care about beautiful women, but he does care about the right kind of beautiful women who can touch his nerve just right.
Kong Xun said that Pei Chongyuan is a womanizer, but in fact he is not.
In recent years, he has become so restrained that when it’s late at night and quiet, he would rather sit down and watch a movie than find someone to pass the time with. Sometimes he feels like he doesn’t even know himself anymore.
It’s just typical of someone who has been in a million flower gardens, seen too many delicate flowers and plants, but in the end, none of them make him want to stay.
It’s boring.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t feel any urge to look at anyone for a long time, and it was no different from looking at a monkey. The only difference was that there were good-looking monkeys and funny monkeys.
But after meeting Jiang Xi that day, the more he thought about it, the more he missed her.
There were thousands of good-looking people in the world, and Jiang Xi might not be ranked among the best, but there was no doubt that she was good-looking, and the unyielding strength in her body was also what Pei Chongyuan liked.
The more unassailable she is, the more exciting it would be to unfasten her belt and tear open her clothes.
But Pei Chongyuan also had his reservations.
‘Forget it,’ Pei Chongyuan said when he saw the waiter bring the food, ‘she’s just a kid, let’s not provoke her.’
Even though he said that, when Pei Chongyuan heard Kong Xun say that Jiang Xi was also in his restaurant that night, he even took the initiative to go see the performance.
‘Wow, that’s really unusual,’ Kong Xun said, teasingly, as he looked at him with a cigarette in his mouth. “I thought you weren’t interested in bands or performances. What’s going on today?”
He flicked the ashes off his cigarette and deliberately teased Pei Chongyuan: ’Okay, go ahead. You want someone to cheer you up, right? The lead singer of that band is really good at it. He’ll cheer you up with kind words, and you’ll feel better.’
Pei Chongyuan waved impatiently at him, meaning for him to shut up.
‘Where did you park?’ Pei Chongyuan asked Kong Xun.
‘In the back. You go ahead, I’ll follow.’
Pei Chongyuan drove towards Kong Xun’s bar. The traffic was annoying at night. In the past, he would have turned around halfway, either going to the office or going home.
But this evening, he was surprisingly patient, and it took him twice as long as usual to drive to Subway.
Before Pei Chongyuan’s car had even come to a stop, he saw the person standing on the side of the road. It was the same denim jacket he had worn the last time they met, but this time it was open, and the long-legged, good-looking young man he had been thinking about was standing in front of the bar, smoking with a cool expression on his face.
Pei Chongyuan parked the car, but instead of hurrying to get out, he sat there and looked through the windshield for a while.
Jiang Xi.
There were many half-drunk and half-awake men and women making a racket in front of the bar, and the coloured lights made them look like a group of enchanted ghosts.
Jiang Xi alone was out of place in that world, looking coldly at the chaos, with a sense of superiority.
Pei Chongyuan just kept watching, and suddenly he felt a wicked fire rising up within him. The fire surged from his whole body to one place, and it was about to set him on fire.
It had been a long time since he felt like this.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and lit a cigarette while sitting in the car.
Just as he exhaled, Jiang Xi, who was standing in front of the bar, looked over and saw him.
When their eyes met, Jiang Xi froze for a moment, but Pei Chongyuan was beaming with pride and got out of the car, walking directly towards the long-legged boy.

Chapter 4: Invitation
If Jiang Xi hadn’t met Pei Chongyuan again, he would have already forgotten about this person.
But once they met, he really couldn’t forget.
Jiang Xi had always been arrogant since he was young, and he didn’t like anyone. His mother said that he was particularly annoying.
So what if he was annoying? Jiang Xi just muddled along with his annoying attitude towards the world, not expecting to make anything of himself in the future.
He has few close friends because there are few people he can look at with interest, and everyone who knows him gives him the same assessment: arrogant.
The arrogant Jiang Xi can hardly remember any unimportant figures. His circle of friends is very small, and he can count on one hand the names of the people he knows.
But he remembers the name Pei Chongyuan, a man he has only met once.
Jiang Xi felt that Pei Chongyuan was different from all the people he had known before. As for where the difference was, he couldn’t say, but the aura of the other person in every gesture was unforgettable. There was a kind of maturity that had seen through the coldness of human nature, something that was impossible to find in these peers around him.
Pei Chongyuan should be quite a bit older than him, and have experienced a lot. The way that person hummed a song and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel at the time made Jiang Xi’s mind flash back to that moment when he reunited with the other person.
He watched as Pei Chongyuan got out of the car and walked towards him with an ambiguous smile.
Jiang Xi was leaning against the wooden plaque of the bar behind him, and when he saw the other person coming over, he stood up straight.
They were about the same height, but Pei Chongyuan was a little more sturdy than Jiang Xi.
At 18, Jiang Xi had no awareness of working out, and his body was just starting to mature. He was tall and thin, like a just-grown bamboo shoot, green but resilient.
Pei Chongyuan walked in, and a light fragrance mixed with the smell of smoke hit Jiang Xi.
‘Do you remember me?’ Pei Chongyuan asked him with a smile.
Jiang Xi didn’t smile, but politely said, ‘Brother Pei.’
He had a cold these past two days, and his throat was dry and inflamed. When he spoke, his voice was a little hoarse, and his nasal tone was heavy, which sounded strange and pitiful.
Pei Chongyuan asked him, ‘Is this a cold?’
Jiang Xi nodded.
‘If you have a cold, you should smoke less,’ Pei Chongyuan stubbed out his cigarette and took the other one from Jiang Xi’s hand, ‘and zip up your jacket.’
If someone else had spoken to Jiang Xi in that commanding tone, he would have turned around and walked away, but Pei Chongyuan had an inexplicable air of authority about him that Jiang Xi found himself compelled to obey.
When Pei Chongyuan came back after throwing away the cigarette butt, Jiang Xi had already zipped up his jacket and was standing there looking at him with his hands in his pockets.
‘It’s cold outside, let’s go inside.’ This year, the snow has been falling frequently, and after the snow, the temperature has dropped suddenly. Pei Chongyuan felt that the outdoor after the snow is simply unbearable for humans.
Jiang Xi said, ‘You just told me to zip up, and then you told me to go inside, and then I had to take off my jacket again.’
Pei Chongyuan was taken aback and laughed, thinking that the boy in front of him was really interesting.
‘So…walk?’
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment and said, ‘Okay.’
Pei Chongyuan hated winter the most.
When he was a child, he would throw a tantrum every day before going out to school in winter. Later, when he grew up, he would swear more frequently in winter than in the other three seasons. He gave the reason that winter was too cold and he was annoyed.
He never even thinks about walking on the street on such cold and slippery days. Isn’t it nice to sit in a warm bar or restaurant, drink and flirt?
But the boy in front of him, called Jiang Xi, seemed to be exceptionally suited to winter. Handsome and aloof, he was as cool as an ice cube. Standing in the snow, he looked so good that Pei Chongyuan wanted to kill him ‘where he stood’.
The best is the best, and it’s hard to find.
Pei Chongyuan really liked those two long legs and the kind of unruly feeling the other person gave him, like a young eagle that had just learned to fly.
They say that eagles have no natural enemies, but it doesn’t matter, Pei Chongyuan is not going to be an eagle’s natural enemy, he’s going to be the falconer.
The two of them walked slowly along the road, not having much to talk about, but the atmosphere was not awkward.
Pei Chongyuan laughed at himself inwardly, and in the end, he still lacked the strength of character. Kong Xun was right to say that he was lecherous.
He had originally thought that Jiang Xi was young and innocent, and that he should not provoke trouble, but as soon as he met this person, he felt that it was no longer possible. The other person could get a hard-on without even having to be aroused, as if he had taken a box of aphrodisiacs.
There was nothing he could do. Pei Chongyuan had never been the type to suffer himself, so he simply went for it.
Kong Xin, who had fallen behind, came over at this moment. He saw the two people walking along the roadside at a glance, cursed under his breath, pulled over to the side of the road, and called out to them.
‘Hey, where are you going?’
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan looked at him together. Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, and Pei Chongyuan answered, ‘It’s too stuffy inside, so I came out for some fresh air.’
Kong Xin thought to himself, ‘Fresh your mother’s air, have you ever been inside?’
He waved his hand, closed the window and looked for a place to park.
‘Do you come here often?’ Pei Chongyuan asked Jiang Xi.
‘Well, I come here when I’m not doing anything,’ Jiang Xi replied without looking at Pei Chongyuan, wondering what he was thinking.
Pei Chongyuan liked his attitude. When he could twist someone’s arm into doing whatever he wanted, then he had succeeded.
‘Do you like to drink?’
“Not really.’
‘Kong Xun is OK here, not chaotic.‘ Pei Chongyuan made small talk, “How did you meet him? Your school used to have a lot of students working here as part-time jobs.”
’Music Forum,’ Jiang Xi said, ’I met my brother when I was in high school.’
‘You like music?‘ Pei Chongyuan knew that Kong Xun managed a music forum. The guy used to love messing around with that stuff. He asked Kong Xun why he liked it so much, and Kong Xun laughed evilly and said it was convenient for picking up pretty boys.
Both of them were like this, and neither of them looked down on the other.
’I kind of like it,’ Jiang Xi said with a little more confidence when they talked about this.
He was never a person with low self-esteem, but in front of Pei Chongyuan, he always felt inferior and afraid of being looked down upon.
But he dared not say anything else. When it came to music, he could hold his head high.
‘Singing? Playing the piano?’
‘I play the drums,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I can write songs, play guitar, bass and keyboard, but I mainly play the drums.’
‘Wow, I can’t tell,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, ‘you’re a hidden talent.’
Jiang Xi had never been more proud than when Pei Chongyuan praised him.
He had been praised a lot since he was young, but he had never felt much about it. But Pei Chongyuan’s words, which were so ordinary and simple, seemed to have entered his heart.
‘When I was in junior high school, I learned to play the guitar for a few days,’ said Pei Chongyuan. ‘At that time, I liked to be cool and attract girls. I thought playing the guitar could attract people. After learning for a few days, my fingers hurt so much that I couldn’t take it anymore and stopped learning.’
Jiang Xi smiled.
When Pei Chongyuan looked at him, his gaze fell on the ear piercing that didn’t have an earring.
The ear piercing was very small and if you weren’t paying attention, you couldn’t actually see it at all, but that ear piercing was like imprinted on Pei Chongyuan’s mind, and he couldn’t help but keep looking at it.
Just like he couldn’t help but keep looking at Jiang Xi.
“It hurt quite a bit at first, but once the callus came out, it was fine.’
‘Yes, but I’m not persistent and I don’t like to suffer,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “At that time, I had paid a month’s tuition to learn guitar, but I didn’t continue. I couldn’t waste the money, so I followed the teacher and learned to play the drums for two days.”
’You can play the drums?”
Pei Chongyuan raised his hand and imitated the drumsticks, moving them twice: ’I’m just a beginner, I’m no match for you.’
Jiang Xi smiled and turned to the other side.
‘When will I have the opportunity to watch you play the drums?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘A lot of little girls at school like you, don’t they?’
Jiang Xi said, ‘Next week our department is having a party, and our band will be on stage. Are you going?’

Chapter 5: Seduction
Jiang Xi’s face showed no expression when she invited Pei Chongyuan, as if she had casually said something irrelevant.
But Pei Chongyuan had seen a lot of people after all. Although he had only met Jiang Xi twice and they had not said much to each other, he could tell that youth is youth and children are children.
Pei Chongyuan could see right through Jiang Xi.
The long-legged boy in front of him might seem cool and aloof to his peers, but he was adorable in Pei Chongyuan’s eyes. Jiang Xi was 18 years old, and if you went back ten years, Pei Chongyuan had also been like that.
Playing cool and being deep, he was just fooling the people around him. In the face of these ‘veterans’, he had long since been exposed.
‘Are you issuing an invitation to me?’ Pei Chongyuan asked with a smile.
The performance next week was the first time their band had performed on stage since its formation. The song was written when he was in high school, and it meant a lot to Jiang Xi.
He had originally planned to ask Kong Xun if he wanted to go, and as for Pei Chongyuan, he was originally not in his thinking.
But just now, he had said it so unconsciously, his words out of control, his heart out of control.
Jiang Xi is a very clear-headed person, never playing games with himself. It was when Pei Chongyuan ordered him to zip up his jacket that he realised this person was a little unusual for him.
Not only because no one had ever spoken to him in such a tone, even his parents always spoke to him in a pleading tone when they confronted him.
Pei Chongyuan alone was a special person.
‘Special‘ is the most fatal.
Jiang Xi discovered that compared to Kong Xun, he was very ungenerous in wanting Pei Chongyuan to go see his first performance in his life.
’Just asking,’ Jiang Xi felt for a cigarette in his pocket and lit it.
His movements looked natural, but Pei Chongyuan could clearly see his nervousness and embarrassment.
‘Didn’t I tell you to cut down on smoking when you had a cold?’ Pei Chongyuan watched him take a drag, and before Jiang Xi could finish the cigarette, he reached over and took the lit cigarette from him.
Jiang Xi didn’t like being told what to do.
He had been living on his own since he was eight years old, going to and from school, cooking and doing the laundry. The house he lived in didn’t even have spare keys for his parents; the only way those two could see him was to go to school.
He was used to being free, and he wouldn’t listen to anyone.
Jiang Xi watched Pei Chongyuan smoke his own cigarette as he exhaled smoke.
The lips with their pronounced lip peaks opened and closed as they engulfed the cigarette mouthpiece, which he had just taken out of his mouth half a minute ago.
Jiang Xi was not a neat freak, but he really didn’t have the habit of sharing the same cigarette with others, especially people he didn’t know well.
But for some reason, Pei Chongyuan’s actions made him feel sexy.
The man’s fingers were knotted and knobby, and when he held the cigarette, it was as if he was holding someone’s life in his hands.
At that time, he didn’t know that Pei Chongyuan was holding his three souls and seven spirits, his life.
‘You really don’t listen,’ Pei Chongyuan said, looking at him as he smoked, ‘I’ll keep this cigarette.’
Jiang Xi looked at him, their gazes locked, but they couldn’t see the end of each other.
People who are used to being alone rarely have an interest in observing others. The other person’s eyebrows, eyes, nose, lips, chest, waist, and legs are none of his business.
However, when looking at Pei Chongyuan through the smoke, Jiang Xi will forever remember those deep eyes that hide mountains and rivers.
He heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘If you want me to go, then invite me properly.’
Pei Chongyuan’s voice was low and sexy, and on this cold day, it made Jiang Xi tremble uncontrollably.
He trembled with excitement. He had never met anyone like this before, and just looking at him could make him daydream endlessly.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Brother Pei, I have a performance at school next week, and I invite you to come.’
As if under a spell, from that moment on, Jiang Xi’s armour had completely fallen away in Pei Chongyuan’s presence.
By the time Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan returned to Subway, the small band’s performance had already ended. The two of them had just walked up to the bar when they saw Kong Xun hugging the lead singer of the small band and drinking with him.
‘See,’ said Pei Chongyuan, leaning one hand on the bar and using the other to take a bottle of wine directly from the shelf next to him and offer it to Jiang Xi. ‘That son of a bitch is a big lecher.’
Jiang Xi took the wine he handed him and opened the bottle cap directly with his teeth.
He spat the bottle cap onto a tray on the bar that was specially used for collecting bottle caps, and looked in the direction of Kong Xun and the others as he drank.
He knew that Pei Chongyuan was watching him.
Jiang Xi was very immature in some ways compared to Pei Chongyuan, but he knew his own skin like no one else and knew how to use it to his advantage.
Pei Chongyuan leaned against the bar, with Jiang Xi just a punch away.
He watched as the boy opened his red lips, revealing his sharp, playful fangs.
Jiang Xi’s movements as he bit open the bottle cap were fluid and extremely skilled. His rosy lips and white teeth were a little wild, and there was nothing more seductive.
Just as he lowered his head to spit out the bottle cap, Pei Chongyuan had no choice but to swallow and take a deep breath to prevent himself from revealing his nature as a pervert so quickly.
‘You’re drinking already?’ Pei Chongyuan took another bottle of wine and handed it to Jiang Xi, “What about me?”
Jiang Xi glanced at him, hesitated for a moment, put down the wine in his hand, and took his.
It was the same routine, and Pei Chongyuan stared at him again.
Jiang Xi opened the wine and handed it back to Pei Chongyuan, but Pei Chongyuan didn’t take it, smiled meaningfully, and picked up the wine that Jiang Xi had put on the bar.
‘I want to drink this,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him and took a big sip of Jiang Xi’s wine.
Although Jiang Xi was only eighteen at the time, he didn’t really know anything.
He knew his sexual orientation at the age of ten, and the next day he was jerking off to a man in a video.
He was very precocious.
Jiang Xi naturally understood Pei Chongyuan’s hint.
Facing Pei Chongyuan, Jiang Xi didn’t show anything, but after turning his back to the man, he smiled triumphantly.
He felt that he had gotten his way.
He was deliberately seducing Pei Chongyuan.
This was the first time in his life that Jiang Xi had actively desired someone. He was very honest and confirmed that he was obsessed with someone like Pei Chongyuan.
But at that time, he was just looking for something new. He felt that Pei Chongyuan seemed to be able to lead him to explore a lot of worlds that others couldn’t show him.
Pei Chongyuan of course could also see the tricks that this child was playing with him, and he was happy to cooperate.
Jiang Xi’s behaviour seemed to him to be excessively cute, much more interesting than those who came up and threw themselves at him.
In the ever-changing, ambiguous lighting, Pei Chongyuan unabashedly used his gaze to trace the shape of Jiang Xi’s body.
Ear lobes, neck, shoulders, waist.
And those two long legs that had captured his heart.
Pei Chongyuan even began to fantasise about the sight of those two perfect legs wrapped around his waist, it was breathtakingly beautiful.
‘Take a break,’ Pei Chongyuan’s hand suddenly stroked Jiang Xi’s back.
In an instant, Jiang Xi straightened up, and then heard Pei Chongyuan say, ’You have a dirty thing stuck here, I’ll take it off for you.’

Chapter 6: Pumpkin carriage
Jiang Xi was not good at playing games, because he knew he would soon be exposed.
Although he had never been in love or engaged in an emotional battle with anyone, he knew that he was never a patient person.
His feelings for Pei Chongyuan were curiosity, reverie, and an unprecedented desire to get close. He knew very well that he felt this way entirely because he had never met someone like him before.
That mature, confident charm is different from anyone else around him.
Jiang Xi felt that if he were to love once in his life, he should love someone like this, even if he ended up in a complete failure, it would be a wonderful memory of his youth.
He has never been someone who avoids pain, he loves all adventures.
Usually, if Pei Chongyuan came to Subway, he would definitely drink his fill. Occasionally, he would not refuse when a bold young boy approached him. Although basically he was not interested in taking anyone away, at least in the matter of drinking, he would not let the other person down. They would drink together and have a good time.
But today, he did not. In his hand, he only held the drink that Jiang Xi had drunk, leisurely sipping it little by little, his gaze always wandering over Jiang Xi’s body.
Once Jiang Xi turned around, he would surely be able to capture the greed and desire in his eyes.
But Jiang Xi deliberately did not turn around, just as he intended, looking at the dance floor, at Kong Xun, who was still flirting, and at the lead singer.
A thin-armed and thin-legged boy came over. He didn’t look very old, and when he smiled, his eyes curved like a crescent moon, which was sweet.
The boy came over and called Jiang Xi ‘brother’, tilting his head to look cute, and asked, ‘Brother, do you want to have a drink together?’
Before Jiang Xi could answer, a hand reached from behind and rested on his shoulder.
Pei Chongyuan leaned slightly forward, his hand pinching Jiang Xi’s shoulder, his chest pressed against Jiang Xi’s back. This made Jiang Xi feel extraordinarily secure and at ease, as if he was being protected by an adult, something he had never wanted to rely on but never had.
Jiang Xi never imagined that the sense of security that he had lacked for many years and had never been satisfied with would come from a man he had only met twice.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said to the boy, ‘Before you struck up a conversation, why didn’t you take a good look to see if the person was with someone?’
The boy was taken aback, looked at the two of them, let out an exclamation, apologized, and then fled.
Jiang Xi suppressed the pounding in his heart and drank a mouthful of wine with his head bowed.
His shoulders and back felt like they were on fire, and the arsonist had not let go of him yet.
‘Sorry,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, letting Jiang Xi go.
Jiang Xi didn’t understand the meaning of his apology and turned to look at him.
“I seem to have accidentally broken your peach blossom just now.’
If Kong Xun were here, he would definitely scold him for being an old fox, but Kong Xun was busy flirting with the lead singer, who could scream, gasp, and pout, so he didn’t have time to pay attention to them or expose Pei Chongyuan’s hypocritical facade.
‘It’s fine,’ Jiang Xi let himself appear unruffled, ‘I didn’t like it anyway.’
‘Oh?’ Pei Chongyuan had seen at first glance that this was also a curve, but he deliberately asked the question at this moment, ‘So, you do like men?’
The two leaned close to each other, surrounded by the lights and revelry and the chaos of the crowd.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him meaningfully and smiled, staring straight into the depths of Jiang Xi’s soul.
‘Yes,’ Jiang Xi replied calmly, ‘I like… someone a little more mature.’
‘Crack!’ – the sound of a match igniting instantly as it was struck along the side.
The two men’s gazes met, hiding under the ambiguous bar lighting hints that made people blush and their hearts race.
This was the first time Jiang Xi had tried to introduce himself so bluntly to someone – ‘My name is Jiang Xi, and I long for you.’
At the time, Jiang Xi thought he was risking it all for an impending relationship, but he didn’t know that this fire pit would simply burn him to ashes. It took him years to put the pieces of his soul back together.
Children are children, Pei Chongyuan thought with a smile, not at all pushy, and frankly adorable.
He laughed.
Jiang Xi felt offended when he saw him smile, thinking that he was being looked down upon. He turned away unhappily.
Pei Chongyuan stood up, drank the wine in the bottle in one go, gave his long-desired waist a gentle pat, and asked Jiang Xi, ‘Do you want to go dancing?’
Not far away on the dance floor, Kong Xun and the young lead singer were almost becoming one, with a crowd of people cheering and applauding around them.
Jiang Xi never went to the dance floor. He hated being so close to other people.
‘I’m inviting you,’ Pei Chongyuan held out his hand in front of him, ‘will you do me the honour?’
Jiang Xi looked at him, then imitated him by finishing his drink, setting the bottle down, and wiping his shoulders as he walked towards the dance floor.
Pei Chongyuan’s outstretched hand fell empty, but instead of being annoyed, he found it interesting.
Jiang Xi went first, followed closely by Pei Chongyuan.
The music was deafening, and the people on stage were dancing so hard that they were afraid they would rip the zipper of their tights up to their stomachs. The people on the dance floor below were also crazily intoxicated.
The air was reeking of alcohol, and the demons and monsters were celebrating wantonly.
The two men entered the dance floor, and as soon as Jiang Xi stood there with a stern face, someone came up to him.
Pei Chongyuan, who was behind him, went over directly to separate the two men, and stuck closely behind Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi looked back at him, and their noses almost touched.
Pei Chongyuan smiled at him and whispered in his ear, ‘Don’t worry, I’m here, no one can touch you.’
With just those words, Jiang Xi’s displeasure just now vanished.
He faced the stage, tilting his head to look at the people dancing wildly up there, but his thoughts were on the man behind him, the one pressing against him.
At some point, Pei Chongyuan’s hands lightly rested on Jiang Xi’s crotch. The two of them swayed their bodies to the music at random. Although Pei Chongyuan only loosely rested his hands there, it looked to outsiders that they were already intimate enough.
Kong Xun, who had already started a fire with the lead singer and was looking for a place to ‘do things,’ saw them and whispered a scolding remark. He didn’t meddle in other people’s business and left, embracing the person next to him.
It was hot on the dance floor, and Jiang Xi soon began to sweat.
Pei Chongyuan looked at the beads of sweat dripping from the tip of his nose and felt inexplicably moved.
This boy in his arms could seduce him even with sweat, so he must be an expert in seduction.
Pei Chongyuan was pleased with his super strong self-control, otherwise with the current position of the two, he was sure that his ‘gun’ would have already been cocked.
A dance song ended and the person on stage changed.
Jiang Xi felt that it was about time and turned back, saying, ‘I want to go.’
It was still early, but only for Pei Chongyuan.
Every time he came here before, he stayed until late at night, then went home, took a hot bath, and slept until noon the next day if he had nothing to do, or simply didn’t sleep, had a couple of cups of coffee, and went straight to the office if he did have things to do.
Pei Chongyuan glanced at the time and said, ‘You want to go back so early?’
Jiang Xi said, ‘There’s a curfew at the school dormitory.’
In an instant, Jiang Xi had become the Cinderella who had to go home before midnight in Pei Chongyuan’s eyes. If he couldn’t make it in time, his pumpkin carriage would leave.
It’s just as well it’s left, Pei Chongyuan thought. What’s the point of a pumpkin carriage? Get in your brother’s car and I’ll take you on a high-speed nighttime ride.
That’s what he thought, but he didn’t say so.
Pei Chongyuan has never put much thought into anyone, always feeling that it’s not worth it. The only thing that can make him willingly contribute his energy is work. As for a partner, he hasn’t met one that he can really care about.
Perhaps because Jiang Xi is different from the previous delicate flowers and plants that can coax people, he actually had the idea of playing a serious game of chess with this child.
He could tell that the other person was flirting with him, so he refused to fall for it, to see who would give in first.
If it had been in the past, he would have stopped the person from leaving and told the other person that it didn’t matter if there was a curfew, and that when they were done playing, they could go straight to a hotel room.
But this time, he changed his strategy.
‘Okay,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a sly smile, ‘wait a minute, I’ll call a designated driver to take you back to school.’

Chapter 7 Call me
Subway Jiang Xi was familiar with the way back to school. It was very convenient to take a taxi when leaving the house, so there was no need for anyone to send him.
But after thinking about it, he finally said, ‘Okay.’
Okay.
Let you send.
This is your initiative.
The two returned to the bar and opened two more bottles of wine, drinking carelessly until the designated driver called.
Pei Chongyuan called Jiang Xi to go get his jacket together, and before going out, he reminded him, ‘Keep the zipper closed.’
Jiang Xi gave a small smile at the corner of his mouth, without replying, but obediently zipped up his jacket.
Pei Chongyuan, looking back at him, also smiled, a triumphant smile of someone who has won a battle.
The two got into the car, and Pei Chongyuan sat in the back seat with Jiang Xi.
The back seat was spacious, but Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi were very close.
In the dimly lit car, their thighs were pressed tightly together.
‘How is it? It’s a bit cool in the car, are you cold?’ Pei Chongyuan said words of concern, but in his heart, he couldn’t wait to have sex with Jiang Xi in the back seat of the car.
‘It’s okay.’
Jiang Xi was young after all, and his concentration was far less than Pei Chongyuan’s.
He always felt that their legs, pressed together, were rubbing against each other and starting a fire. How could they be cold? He was burning up.
For Jiang Xi, Pei Chongyuan was a man of fatal attraction, both in appearance and in the stories hidden behind this body, which made him eager to explore.
But obviously, Pei Chongyuan didn’t have those thoughts about him tonight.
Jiang Xi didn’t understand Pei Chongyuan’s sophisticated approach. The so-called playing hard to get didn’t exist with him.
So when Pei Chongyuan offered to take him back to school, he subconsciously thought that the other person was not interested in him, at least not that night.
The proud Jiang Xi was a little frustrated.
He turned his head to look out the window on the other side, and through the glass window he could see the blurred outline of the people around him.
The temperature in the car gradually increased, and Jiang Xi felt a little drowsy.
He usually drinks a lot, and in high school he could drink a whole group of people under the table, but today for some reason, just two beers and he felt light-headed.
Was it because of Pei Chongyuan?
‘Hey, you…’
Jiang Xi turned his head to look at the person talking.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, and held up his hands. Jiang Xi’s phone was in his hands.
‘It fell on the seat when we turned the corner just now,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “It’s fallen into my hands, and if it was in the taxi, it’s hard to say if I can find it or not.”
Jiang Xi went to pick up the phone, and the fingers of the two men touched.
Pei Chongyuan’s hand was very hot, and just for a moment, Jiang Xi felt like he had been burned.
’Thank you, Brother Pei,‘ Jiang Xi rested his hands on his lap, clutching the phone, and continued to stare out the window in a daze.
’That’s it?’
Jiang Xi turned to him, looking at him doubtfully.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and asked him with raised eyebrows, ‘Have you thrown away the business card I gave you last time?’
Jiang Xi suddenly felt embarrassed when he was asked this.
When they first met, he didn’t even remember Pei Chongyuan. He casually put the business card in his pocket at the time, and after that, he only glanced at it a few times, thinking that the person was very impressive.
Until they met again today, they didn’t know how sparks flew. Thinking about the business card that had gone missing, he felt annoyed.
Pei Chongyuan looked at his somewhat troubled expression and laughed to himself, before reporting a string of numbers.
Jiang Xi didn’t react, and heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘My mobile phone number, aren’t you going to write it down?’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, took the phone from him, and tilted it: ‘Or did you remember it in your head?’
Jiang Xi quickly took back the phone, unlocked it, and opened the address book.
His note to Pei Chongyuan was ‘Brother Pei’. After entering these two words, he said a little embarrassed, ‘Brother Pei, can you say that again?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and slowly repeated his phone number.
Jiang Xi saved his phone number and hesitated to ask the other person if he wanted to save his.
‘Call me,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “it’s the polite thing to do, so shouldn’t I save your number too?”
Jiang Xi nodded and dialed.
Pei Chongyuan’s note to Jiang Xi was “handsome boy,” which made Jiang Xi turn around and smile secretly.
His little actions were all seen by Pei Chongyuan, and children are children, nothing can hide from adults.
Because there was snow on the road, the car drove very slowly, but no matter how slow it was, they still had to reach their destination.
The designated driver parked the car at the entrance of the Conservatory of Music. The moment the car came to a stop, Jiang Xi was reluctant to get out of the car.
‘Brother Pei, I’ll go first.’
‘Mm.’
Pei Chongyuan sat there without moving, just looking at him.
Jiang Xi thought that the other person would at least say a few more words, but he didn’t expect such a cold ‘Mm.’
That night, his mood was almost completely controlled by Pei Chongyuan. Everything was a matter of the other person’s actions, words and expressions.
He felt a little lost, and more than anything else, unhappy.
He felt that he needed to calm down and not let his emotions be controlled by others.
Jiang Xi would not allow himself to become a slave to his emotions, it was too humiliating and ridiculous.
He made up his mind, got out of the car without looking back, and didn’t even give Pei Chongyuan a single glance.
When he closed the car door, he deliberately didn’t even look at the person in the car. He slammed the door shut, turned around, and walked towards the school.
Pei Chongyuan watched him get out of the car, and the designated driver stopped him just as he was about to start the car.
‘Wait for a moment.’
Pei Chongyuan peered out of the car window at Jiang Xi until the other person crossed the road and was about to enter the school gate. He picked up a scarf that was left in the car and opened the door.
‘Jiang Xi!‘
Jiang Xi heard Pei Chongyuan call his name and suddenly froze, turning to look at the other person.
He watched as the person walked across the road, wrapped in the light from the street lamps, with light snowflakes falling on their shoulders.
Pei Chongyuan walked up to him and, without saying anything, lifted his hand and tied the scarf around his neck.
’Okay, go back,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’let me know when you get to the dormitory, go to bed early, don’t stay up late.’
After saying this, without waiting for Jiang Xi to respond, Pei Chongyuan had already walked quickly towards his car.
The cold wind and light snow that had been pouring in through the collar were stopped outside by the scarf, and his neck was warm. The warmth gradually spread from there to his whole body.
It was late at night in winter, and snow was falling in the sky. He was standing there wearing a cotton jacket that was not very warm, but he did not feel cold at all.
Pei Chongyuan’s car drove away, but Jiang Xi didn’t move.
He kept watching the car drive away, until it was too far away for him to see, and then he looked down at the scarf, turned around and walked towards the empty campus.
Pei Chongyuan kept watching Jiang Xi from the rearview mirror, and did the same until he couldn’t see him anymore.
He knew exactly how to win the heart of a young boy. He didn’t even have to try hard to please him or rack his brains to think of ways to do it. For him, all tricks came naturally. After just a few moves, the other person would give everything.
Although he has never been sincere, Pei Chongyuan has always played the role of ‘lover’ very well.
This time he plans to do the same. After a long period of no contact, he will find a young lover with character to keep each other warm in the winter. In the spring, they will probably get bored and part ways peacefully when the time comes.
He has always handled it this way in the past.
Only this time, he really has chosen the wrong target. Jiang Xi is completely different from the people he has met before.

Chapter 8: Drowning
Jiang Xi took the scarf Pei Chongyuan gave him back to the dormitory, and all he could think about was that person.
Pei Chongyuan knew exactly how to keep someone on the edge of their seat, and Jiang Xi was no match for him.
After returning to the dormitory, the other roommates were still awake and playing video games together, and they invited him to join them.
Jiang Xi waved his hand to refuse, changed into his pajamas, and took his things to wash up.
The bathroom was very quiet. He listened to the sound of his own teeth brushing, the sound of the water as he washed his face, and his eyes were open and closed, but all he could see was Pei Chongyuan’s face.
The other person’s handsome face was a little ambiguous in the flickering light of the bar, and even when he thought about it now, it still made his body surge with unbearable restlessness.
Jiang Xi washed his face, straightened up, closed his eyes and took a long deep breath, but in the end he couldn’t hold back any longer and hid in the toilet cubicle, thinking that Pei Chongyuan had touched him.
For the first time in more than ten years, when he was doing this, he had specific images of people he knew in his head, and even at the last minute, he had hallucinations and heard Pei Chongyuan breathing in his ear.
Jiang Xi felt like he was drowning. He couldn’t even call for help, and could only let the sea water swallow him up little by little.
Pei Chongyuan was the raging sea, and he was the bird with broken wings that had plunged headlong from the capsized boat and was completely lost.
His hands were wet and sticky. Jiang Xi opened his eyes and was momentarily at a loss.
How had he become like this?
He had been so humiliated.
He wiped it off with a piece of paper, washed his hands, opened the toilet window to smoke a cigarette to clear his head, and then returned to the room.
When Jiang Xi returned, the others were still playing. His roommate asked again if he wanted to join in, and Jiang Xi said, ‘I have a cold, I’m going to sleep first.’
When the other people heard him say he was going to sleep, they all automatically turned down the sound effects.
‘By the way, Brother Xi,’ said the roommate in the next bed, ‘you had a phone call just now.’
Jiang Xi went out to wash up, without his mobile phone. Hearing his roommate say this, he suddenly remembered that his mobile phone was still on the table downstairs, even though he had already gone to bed.
‘Thanks.’
He got out of bed, picked up his mobile phone and saw that the caller was Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi stood there, staring at the phone for a while, until he came back to his senses and his palms were covered in sweat.
He thought about it for a while, took the phone and went out of the dormitory to call Pei Chongyuan back in the corridor.
When Jiang Xi called, Pei Chongyuan was standing on the balcony smoking. He hadn’t had enough to drink today, and there was a bottle of red wine and an empty glass on the round table next to him.
The phone rang, and he glanced at it, smiling at the ‘handsome guy’ displayed on the screen.
Pei Chongyuan turned back, sat down in the chair next to the table, and leisurely poured himself a glass of wine while smoking.
He took small sips of wine while watching the phone, which kept ringing, until the ringtone cut out and the screen went dark. Then he drained the glass in one go.
The moonlight was beautiful tonight, and the snow was lightly falling, creating a beautiful scene.
Pei Chongyuan got up, took his phone and wine into the house, figuring that the child would not be able to hold back his impatience and would contact him again soon.
Sure enough, as soon as he had put the wine in the wine cabinet, his phone rang again.
Pei Chongyuan counted to himself in his heart and didn’t pick up the phone until after the ringtone had gone off six times.
‘Hello,’ Pei Chongyuan’s voice was low and serious, and it was especially magnetic in the quiet night.
Jiang Xi’s heart suddenly lifted when she heard his voice.
He said, ‘Brother Pei, this is Jiang Xi.’
Pei Chongyuan pretended to be surprised and said with a sigh, ‘Sorry, I was in a hurry just now and didn’t see who it was.’
Jiang Xi softly said, ‘Hm.’
‘What’s up? Going to sleep?’
Jiang Xi, who was standing in the hallway, was only wearing a thin nightshirt. He was already a bit cold, and his nasal voice was even heavier. When he spoke, it sounded a bit sad and pitiful in Pei Chongyuan’s ears.
‘I was washing up, so I didn’t hear the phone ring.‘
Jiang Xi didn’t answer Pei Chongyuan’s question directly. He knew what was wrong with him, and didn’t want to say that he was going to sleep, because he didn’t want to hang up the phone so soon.
He was disgusted with his own unpromising appearance, but he couldn’t resist the excitement Pei Chongyuan brought him.
’Well, that’s good, I was worried about you.‘
’Worried about me?’
‘Didn’t I tell you to let me know when you arrived at the dormitory? Pei Chongyuan chuckled, ‘You didn’t make a sound and didn’t answer the phone, so I thought some mature man had lured you away.’
These words were ambiguous.
Jiang Xi had said that he liked mature people.
Pei Chongyuan was being referred to both explicitly and implicitly.
Pei Chongyuan pretended to be ignorant there and used these words to tease Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, unsure of what he was thinking.
‘Go to bed early,’ Pei Chongyuan said, not wanting to prolong the conversation, ‘take some medicine before going to bed, and make sure you cover up well at night.’
A simple expression of concern was more than enough.
The simple instruction to ‘cover up well’ made Jiang Xi completely indulge in his gentleness.
‘Good night, Brother Pei.’
“Okay, go to sleep.’
After hanging up, Jiang Xi felt in his pocket and realised that he hadn’t brought any cigarettes with him.
He looked down at the length of the call and stared, until he felt a little fever coming on and went back inside.
Jiang Xi didn’t sleep well that night, and in the middle of the night he started to feel feverish.
He was never one to get sick easily, and his constitution wasn’t that weak, but somehow this time, the flu came knocking at his door and bit him first.
There was no medicine in the dormitory, and even if there had been, he wouldn’t have liked it.
When he was young, he would just tough it out when he had a cold or a fever, and he would be almost completely recovered by the end of the week.
This time, it seemed to be more serious. Jiang Xi was burning with a high fever and tossing and turning in bed.
He pressed his burning forehead against the cold wall, trying to cool himself down in this way.
In a daze, he suddenly saw something stuck in the gap between the bed and the wall.
He pulled it out and saw that it was Pei Chongyuan’s business card.
Pei Chongyuan had given it to him the day they first met.
In the darkness, Jiang Xi placed the business card in front of his eyes and studied it intently. He looked at the three words ‘Pei Chongyuan’ and ran his fingers over them.
Was this some kind of fate?
The business card, which he clearly didn’t know where he had thrown, had suddenly appeared after they had met again, as if it was unwilling to let him, an important character, be ignored.
Jiang Xi looked at it for a while and placed the business card in the pocket of his pajamas.
He lay flat on his back, looked at the ceiling, and waited quietly for dawn to come, so that he could go out into the cold air and smoke a cigarette.
In a daze, Jiang Xi fell asleep, and when he opened his eyes again, it was already past nine.
On Sunday morning, there were no classes, and his roommates were still asleep.
Jiang Xi still had a bad fever, and when he opened his mouth, his sore throat made him frown.
He thought about getting out of bed to find something to drink, and when he got up, he felt his phone under the pillow and found that Pei Chongyuan had sent a message early in the morning.
Brother Pei: How are you? Is your cold better?
Jiang Xi sat there and smiled. After thinking about it, he replied to the other person: It seems like I have a fever.

Chapter 9: Fever
Jiang Xi’s breathing became rapid when his finger touched the send button.
He couldn’t clearly judge whether this sudden change in emotions was due to physical discomfort or the strange feelings welling up in his heart.
His eyes remained lightly drooped as he drank water, looking at the phone he had placed on the table.
There was no movement.
The screen did not light up.
He put down the glass and looked at the time again.
Five minutes had passed since he had sent the message.
Jiang Xi put the phone in his pajamas pocket and went to wash up with the spare items.
While brushing his teeth, the phone vibrated in his pocket. He glanced down, then continued brushing with one hand while taking the phone out with the other.
Brother Pei: What’s going on? Did you forget to take your medicine?
Jiang Xi laughed like he had won a victory. He had successfully won Pei Chongyuan’s concern and worry.
With the toothbrush bristly end in his mouth full of foam, he held the phone in both hands and quickly typed out a line of text: just sleep some more.
After sending the message, Jiang Xi put the phone back in his pocket, quickly finished washing up, and went back to his room and lay back on the bed.
There was no doubt that he had a fever and was not feeling well.
He fell back asleep again after a while, but because of the high fever, he didn’t sleep peacefully.
It was almost midnight when his roommates, all of them boys, got up one after the other. They didn’t know how to treat a high fever, and every time they got out of bed, the bed frame shook and things fell over.
Jiang Xi was woken up by the noise, but he wasn’t annoyed, he was used to it.
He rolled over, feeling dizzy, and found it hard to open his eyes.
He pressed his burning forehead against the wall, but that wasn’t enough, so he simply stuck his whole body to it.
His phone was vibrating, but he didn’t bother to answer it. As he was about to fall asleep, he heard someone shouting his name.
Tong Ye from the dorm next door came to find him with a guitar, asking, ‘Brother Xi, didn’t you say we were rehearsing today? Aren’t we going?’
They were going to perform on stage for the first time the following week, and the band had just been formed. The members had all been forced to join, and the lead singer had been dragged along by Tong Ye. The few of them had never played together before, and in order to avoid making a fool of themselves on stage, Jiang Xi felt that they had to practice more in advance.
Because he was suffering from a fever, Jiang Xi had forgotten about it.
‘What’s wrong with Brother Xi?‘ Tong Ye stood in the middle of their dormitory, looking at the clothes and pants that Jiang Xi had thrown on the table after returning last night. “Did you drink too much yesterday?”
’No?’ Jiang Xi’s roommate said, “It seems like a cold.”
As they whispered, Jiang Xi impatiently raised his hand and waved it: “Wait.”
He sat up with difficulty and squeezed his own nape of the neck.
‘A hangover, Brother Ji?‘ Tong Ye looked up at the person in the bed, “it’s written all over your face that you’ve had fun.”
’Cut the crap,‘ Jiang Xi rubbed his stubbly scalp with his hand, “have they all gone?”
’They’re eating in the cafeteria,’ Tong Ye said, ’let’s go find them in the cafeteria, and eat something while we’re at it.’
‘You go ahead,‘ Jiang Xi said, clutching his phone, and with a forced smile got out of bed. “I’m not eating, I’ll see you at the rehearsal room later.”
’Okay,’ Tong Ye said, looking at him and guessing that it would take a while to clean up. “I’ll go eat then.”
Tong Ye laughed at him as he left: ’You wine-sodden fool, you should drink less, don’t get sick at a young age.’
Jiang Xixin said, ‘I really didn’t drink much last night. Even if I was drunk, it was because of Pei Chongyuan.’
Thinking of Pei Chongyuan, he glanced at his phone.
Sure enough, after falling asleep, the other person had sent him a message again, telling him to take medicine and get an injection even if he had a fever.
He had received this message as soon as he came back from washing up, and it had been more than two hours since then.
In the past two hours, Pei Chongyuan had not moved again, so Jiang Xixin thought about it for a while and did not contact him again.
Jiang Xi went to wash his face again, and incidentally washed his hair as well.
He didn’t originally have this hairstyle, a simple short haircut that was neat and tidy, the most common kind among college boys, except that the last time he went to get a haircut, the hairdresser got caught up in conversation with someone and his hand shook, so he gave it a chop.
At the time, the hairdresser was in a panic, but Jiang Xi remained calm and said, ‘Just push it then.’
So it was made into a round inch.
The day he first met Pei Chongyuan was the day after he got a buzz cut. He had a new haircut, and before he could get used to it, he met someone new.
He had originally thought that his hair would grow back sooner or later, and a buzz cut would be a nice change. Unexpectedly, he became addicted to it. There was a trend towards longer hair a while ago, so he got a haircut again.
That night, the day he got a haircut, he met Pei Chongyuan again.
It was interesting.
With short hair, it was easy to wash. When Jiang Xi returned to the dormitory, his short hair was still damp, and water droplets were dripping down his temples.
He casually wiped it dry, changed his clothes, and went out with a fever, still with wet hair.
He was still wearing the same jacket, carrying his black backpack, which didn’t contain much, a worn notebook, a three-dollar gel pen from the school supermarket, and a pair of drumsticks that had been used for a long time.
The dormitory was well heated, but as soon as he stepped outside the dormitory building, the cold wind hit him, causing him to frown.
The winter wind is always like this, never showing mercy to anyone.
Jiang Xi, who felt unsteady, subconsciously tightened his collar and took two steps towards the outside. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, turned around and went back to the dormitory.
When he came out again, he tied a scarf, which Pei Chongyuan had given him last night.
It was just a scarf, but it seemed like a huge umbrella. The soft, skin-friendly wool texture rubbed against Jiang Xi’s chin, making him feel a little distracted.
The afternoon rehearsal went quite well, except for Jiang Xi, who was not feeling well due to his illness.
Tong Ye teased him, ‘Brother Xi, really, don’t drink so much. Look at your face, it looks like you have kidney deficiency.’
Jiang Xi glared at him coldly without saying a word.
It was a little after three o’clock. They were rehearsing when Jiang Xi’s phone suddenly rang.
No one stopped, and it wasn’t until the song was over that Tong Ye handed Jiang Xi the phone, which was on the windowsill.
The caller was Pei Chongyuan.
‘Brother Pei.’
‘How are things?’ Pei Chongyuan stood by the office window smoking a cigarette, ‘still running a fever?’
Jiang Xi glanced at the others in the rehearsal room, put down his drumsticks, took the phone and pushed open the door and went out.
‘I’m fine.‘ Jiang Xi leaned over the railing of the third floor patio and looked down, “I’m much better.”
’Much better?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, “I can hear that you’re not feeling well just by your voice. Did you forget to take your medicine?”
It was that tone again, like a question but with an unspoken undertone of concern.
Jiang Xi tried to pick up on the familiar signals in his attitude, but failed.
He felt that there was something ambiguous between the two of them, but Pei Chongyuan seemed to maintain a subtle distance in the midst of the ambiguity.
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment and replied, ‘I never take medicine.’
Pei Chongyuan snorted and said, ‘Childish.’
Jiang Xi didn’t like this label. Like all young people who thought they were mature but were only half-baked, he strongly resisted labels like ‘childish’ and ‘naive.’
He was about to argue back when Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Where? Haven’t you even eaten? I’ll come over, take you to the hospital, and then we can have dinner.’
Jiang Xi froze for a moment, deliberately refusing.
‘Objection overruled,’ Pei Chongyuan said in an imperious tone as he stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray, ‘Send me your address, and I’ll come find you.’

Chapter 10: Harbour
Jiang Xi doesn’t like being ordered around, and he definitely doesn’t like obeying.
But for some reason, he inexplicably gave in to Pei Chongyuan’s strength.
After hanging up the phone, Jiang Xi sent him a message, telling him only that he was at school, and which classroom in which building, without saying more.
When he returned to the rehearsal room, Jiang Xi put his phone in his pocket and picked up his jacket, which was draped over the back of the chair: ‘That’s about it for today, right? I have to go because I have something else to do.’
‘Brother Xi, aren’t you going to eat with us?‘ Tong Ye and the others had previously said that they would go to the new Spicy Pot restaurant near the school together in the evening, and everyone who had been there said it was good.
’Some other time.”
Although he knew that Pei Chongyuan would be here for a while, Jiang Xi couldn’t wait.
He put on his jacket, tied his scarf, packed his things, carried his school bag and walked towards the door: ’Call me if there’s anything.’
‘Okay.’ Tong Ye looked at him as he plucked the strings of his guitar. Once Jiang Xi had left, the remaining few people slipped out to go eat as well.
After leaving the rehearsal room, Jiang Xi didn’t go directly to the front door to wait for Pei Chongyuan. He sat on the bench in the lobby on the first floor, staring blankly at the bare tree trunks outside.
In winter, everything withers and dies, and people lose their energy.
Jiang Xi had a headache and a fever. Sitting there, he felt like a natural furnace, and if he kept burning, he would be able to make elixir.
After sitting like this for a while, his phone rang. He thought it was Pei Chongyuan at first, but when he looked down, it was a series of numbers.
He recognised the numbers. The fact that they weren’t saved meant that he didn’t want to remember or get in touch.
With a light tap of his slender finger, the phone went quiet.
After a while, it rang again.
This time, the caller was Pei Chongyuan. Jiang Xi waited a few seconds, letting the ringtone sound twice before answering.
‘I’m here,’ Pei Chongyuan’s voice sounded cool, as if he was suppressing his anger. ‘Where are you?’
‘The teaching building,’ Jiang Xi stood up, feeling a little dizzy for a moment.
He calmed down and walked out: ‘You’re at the school gate? I’ll go out now.’
Before Jiang Xi reached the gate, he saw Pei Chongyuan standing by the car smoking. Not to mention the car, which was parked at the entrance to the university campus and was too eye-catching, the man himself, with his superior figure and tasteful, elite-style attire, was impossible to ignore.
Jiang Xi started staring at Pei Chongyuan from afar, watching the man puff smoke in the cold winter sunlight. It felt like a cat was gently scratching at the tip of his heart.
Once, twice.
This made the body temperature of the person who was already running a fever rise even higher.
‘How are you?’ Pei Chongyuan saw Jiang Xi coming over, extinguished the cigarette, raised his hand and waved it around to disperse the smoke that was swirling in front of him.
‘Not bad.’
‘Not bad?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘You little brat, your voice is hoarse.’
No one had ever called Jiang Xi this before, and the intimacy with a hint of teasing made him straighten up.
‘Get in the car,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “let’s go to the hospital first.”
Jiang Xi wanted to say no, but before he could, Pei Chongyuan had already opened the car door and sat down.
He hesitated for a moment, then got in the car after him, sat in the passenger seat, and said nothing.
Pei Chongyuan surveyed him, making Jiang Xi feel like a prick in the back.
’Seat belt.”
Pei Chongyuan smiled with an ambiguous meaning.
Jiang Xi was stunned for a moment, let out an “oh,” and somewhat embarrassedly fastened his seat belt.
Just now, he thought Pei Chongyuan had been looking at him the whole time, but it turned out he was just waiting for him to fasten his seat belt.
Jiang Xi, who thought he had made a fool of himself, was upset and twisted his head to look outside without saying a word.
Pei Chongyuan also didn’t say much. Seeing that he was drowsy, he didn’t want to disturb him.
Jiang Xi had never been to the city hospital before, and Pei Chongyuan didn’t often go there either. Neither of them were prone to illness, so even if they had a headache or a cold, they wouldn’t go to the hospital for every little problem.
In winter, when the flu is widespread, the roads leading to the hospital are always congested. Pei Chongyuan turns his head and sees that Jiang Xi has fallen asleep there, not knowing when it happened.
It’s probably because he’s uncomfortable, so he’s not sleeping comfortably.
Jiang Xi’s eyebrows are knitted, his mouth slightly open, and his lips are dry and flaky.
Pei Chongyuan is transfixed by the sight. It’s rare for him to be so infatuated with someone, and the anger in his heart is surging, and he can’t wait to soothe the person next to him.
It is said that seeing too much will lead to indifference, and that tasting too much of a fresh body will make it lose its flavour. Pei Chongyuan had originally felt the same way, but after meeting Jiang Xi, he was like a hungry wolf that had never tasted meat before, always leering at her and waiting for an opportunity to devour her.
He was so mesmerised that he was spellbound, and it was only when the car behind him honked the horn that Pei Chongyuan came back to his senses.
He stepped on the accelerator and drove forward, and Jiang Xi was also awakened by the harsh sound.
He had a headache, nausea, and his whole body was burning with discomfort.
As soon as Jiang Xi opened his eyes, he felt nauseous, and it was so uncomfortable that he couldn’t hold back his eyelids.
‘Close your eyes for a while longer,’ Pei Chongyuan said, raising his hand and gently and tenderly rubbing his hair, which was so short that it almost touched his scalp. ‘I’ll let you know when we’ve arrived,’
Jiang Xi had wanted to close his eyes for a little longer, unable to sleep and not wanting to open his eyes. But he never expected a warm hand to stroke the top of his head.
He was startled. Jiang Xi, who had never been afraid of anything since childhood, suddenly felt an electric shock run down his spine, and he couldn’t move at all.
Pei Chongyuan’s hand covered his head, and he felt it from the top of his head to his forehead.
‘It’s too hot,’ said Pei Chongyuan with a frown.
This light and carefree ‘you’ made Jiang Xi’s heart flutter. Those two simple words seemed to contain countless emotions.
Was it helplessness?
Love and compassion?
Or was there something else?
Jiang Xi pondered Pei Chongyuan’s thoughts there, but he could not read this man at all.
He did not dare to look at the other person, and could only pretend to be carefree. He closed his eyes, but his mind became even more chaotic.
Pei Chongyuan was seriously worried about him. The guy was burning up, and when he put his hand on him, he felt the heat. At this time, he didn’t have the energy to think about whether his actions would make Jiang Xi think more, nor did he have the energy to provoke.
It was true that he liked the boy, and it was also true that he cared and worried.
Pei Chongyuan did not lie in this regard.
But for him, the meaning of his liking was not much the same as Jiang Xi’s.
Pei Chongyuan’s hand had already been withdrawn, but Jiang Xi was still secretly reminiscing.
The feeling of that hand gently stroking the top of his head was like the hand that soothed him when he was a child and was frightened and was picked up and gently soothed by his father.
That feeling gave him a rare sense of security and peace, like a wayward son who has found his way home.
Whether Pei Chongyuan was his home, Jiang Xi wasn’t sure.
But at least at this moment, he was a harbour of rest.
He was so tired and suffering.
Jiang Xi let out a long sigh.
‘What?’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him with concern and placed the palm of his hand on the back of his hand.
Jiang Xi opened his eyes and watched the car drive into the hospital gates. He opened his mouth and realised that his voice was hoarse when he spoke.
‘It’s nothing,’ he said, ‘I just feel bad.’
He looked outside in a daze and said softly, ‘I kind of miss home.’

Chapter 11: The Flower Thief
Jiang Xi didn’t miss home. His home was empty, with nothing to miss.
There were just a table, a bed, a sofa, and all kinds of extremely luxurious but meaningless and expensive furnishings, and an emptiness where no one would respond if you called out.
His home was the same with or without him, and it made no difference to him.
The reason he answered Pei Chongyuan like this was just an unknown longing in his heart, a longing for a home with people in it.
Jiang Xi attributed this to the groundless vulnerability that arises in sick people, which is meaningless and ridiculous.
Pei Chongyuan parked the car and looked at the jawline of Jiang Xi. Deep down, he felt a little pain for the child.
He had just started college, far away from home. He had been spoiled by his parents before, but now he had to rely on himself for everything. He was sick and had no one to take care of him, so it was normal for him to miss home.
That was what he thought, but he was completely wrong.
Jiang Xi was never a spoiled brat, and he didn’t have parents around.
‘Let’s go,’ Pei Chongyuan said, helping him unbuckle his seat belt and then re-tying his scarf. ‘It’s probably going to be crowded, so stay close to me.’
Jiang Xi looked at him for a moment without saying a word.
When Pei Chongyuan was fixing his scarf, his fingertips, whether on purpose or not, brushed his side face lightly. Jiang Xi held his breath at that moment, and only when the other person got out of the car did he let out a sigh of relief.
This feeling was a bit annoying, his emotions were out of his control, as if he was floating in the sky.
He was a kite, no matter where he flew, his hand was controlled by a thin thread, and the person holding the source of that thread was Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi sat there for a few seconds, calm, and decided that once he recovered from this illness, he would once again be the untouchable Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan got out of the car first, not rushing him, and stood outside waiting patiently.
Jiang Xi peeked at him twice, and his heartbeat became so chaotic that it seemed like a novice just learning to play the drums was randomly banging on the drumhead, thumping, chaotic and agitated.
He rubbed his head, which was throbbing with pain, and pinched his throat, which was inflamed and painful even when swallowing.
He got out of the car, and Pei Chongyuan asked, ‘How are you?’
‘I’m fine.’
Pei Chongyuan closed the car door for him and walked next to him.
These two men, one taller than the other, one more handsome than the other.
The eighteen-year-old big boy and the twenty-eight-year-old workplace elite had different energy fields, but they were equally eye-catching.
Jiang Xi’s face was half-hidden in his scarf, his eyes red from the heat, and he walked lightly, a little dazed when climbing the steps.
Pei Chongyuan kept close to him, deliberately slowing down to keep up with Jiang Xi.
In fact, Jiang Xi was disgusted with his own hopeless appearance, which was both embarrassing and comical. On the contrary, Pei Chongyuan liked looking at his porcelain-like appearance, which he could manipulate and care for at will.
Pei Chongyuan could tell that Jiang Xi had a temper, but he was also confident that he could smooth it out.
Because of the recent heavy snowfall, there was still snow on the ground in the hospital compound. After walking outside for a while, the soles of his shoes were stuck with snow, and as soon as he entered the building, his feet slipped.
Jiang Xi could hardly walk steadily, and as he took this step inside, he almost fell.
Pei Chongyuan was quick and steady, and he steadied her by putting his arm around her waist. He leaned in close to Jiang Xi and whispered, ‘Be careful.’
Pei Chongyuan’s warm breath hit Jiang Xi’s burning ear, and he always felt like the other person’s lips were about to come close.
Jiang Xi stood firm and kept a little distance from him.
‘Do you want to register?’ Jiang Xi frowned as she looked at the long line at the registration window.
‘Wait here while I make a call.’ Pei Chongyuan took out his mobile phone and, while looking for a contact, took Jiang Xi’s wrist and led him to the corner.
Jiang Xi didn’t like the behaviour of using interpersonal relationships to exercise privileges. He had always sneered at such things, but when Pei Chongyuan made a phone call and someone came to receive them, Jiang Xi could only admire the other person’s ability.
This is double standards, and he knows it.
While feeling ashamed, he followed Pei Chongyuan. He received a consultation, was prescribed medicine, and had an IV drip. Jiang Xi didn’t expect that even an IV drip would have a private room for a rest area.
He sat on the soft sofa, his head still spinning. With his eyes closed, he could vaguely hear Pei Chongyuan’s voice outside the door, chatting with someone.
So this is because I owe someone a favour?
That’s what Jiang Xi thought at the time.
For Jiang Xi, owing a favour was a terrible thing. In his three values, if he could solve it himself, he would definitely not ask others for help, and if it could be solved with money, he would definitely not owe a favour.
Pei Chongyuan pushed the door open and asked him softly, ‘How do you feel?’
Jiang Xi opened his eyes. Because he was really uncomfortable, his eyelids were a little weak, and the frequency of blinking was even lower than usual.
“It’s okay.’
Seeing Jiang Xi’s uncomfortable appearance, Pei Chongyuan felt heartbroken. It was so wrong for the little beauty to suffer. Even if she had to suffer, she should have suffered in his bed, not in the hospital.
Pei Chongyuan went over and looked at the drip bottle, then touched Jiang Xi’s forehead.
‘I just gave you a fever-reducing injection, so you should feel better in a while,’ Pei Chongyuan asked him, ‘Don’t want to vomit, do you?’
Jiang Xi shook his head.
At this, he felt even more dizzy.
‘Okay, you just rest for a while.’ Pei Chongyuan suddenly reached out and grasped the IV tube, “The medicine is too cold.”
His action made Jiang Xi’s mind “buzz” and he remembered when he was a child and he was sick, his mother took him to get an IV, also in the middle of winter, and the cold medicine was pushed into his veins through the IV tube. At that time, his mother did the same thing, holding the IV tube with a warm hand, trying to make the medicine not feel so cold when it entered his body in this way.
Although it didn’t have much effect, she persisted.
How many years was it?
Jiang Xi had almost forgotten, but because of one of Pei Chongyuan’s actions, it came back to her.
He didn’t dare to look or think about it, let out a small sigh, and then let himself sink into the sofa.
Jiang Xi closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and kept his brows knitted.
Pei Chongyuan stood in front of him the whole time, holding the IV tube with one hand while the other hand hung at his side, fingers lightly rubbing together.
The sickly little beauty was no longer as sharp as usual, having lost all her edge. She looked like a rose with its thorns plucked, with a kind of broken beauty.
Pei Chongyuan felt thirsty, the kind of thirst that dries up the soul, and desperately needed Jiang Xi to shake the dew from the rose petals to moisten him.
All his desires and restlessness were suppressed very well, at least on the surface there didn’t seem to be the slightest trace of it, but he knew that if it continued like this for a few more minutes, his hand might uncontrollably stroke Jiang Xi’s face, and his body would press up against her, kissing or licking, in short, to take possession.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t want to be in such a hurry. His original plan was to let the young boy, who had little self-control, come to him on his own. In this way, when it came time to clean up the relationship, he would be in a better position.
However, the more contact there was, the more he took stock of her, the more attractive Jiang Xi became.
A flower thief whose heart has been blinded by lust, how can he resist the seductive charm of a rose?
Jiang Xi leaned there loosely and defencelessly, and Pei Chongyuan slowly walked up to him and stood in front of him.
Pei Chongyuan used his gaze to trace the outline of the other person’s body like a wild animal hunting, leaned slightly, and was about to press his lips against the other person’s.
Jiang Xi suddenly opened his eyes, and the two of them looked at each other so closely.

Chapter 12: Breaking the mood
Pei Chongyuan didn’t expect Jiang Xi to suddenly open his eyes.
Jiang Xi didn’t expect Pei Chongyuan to get so close to him.
After a few seconds of silence, Pei Chongyuan spoke first.
‘Let’s see if your fever has gone down,’ he said, leaning forward slightly, so that their foreheads came together.
Jiang Xi forgot to breathe, and for a moment, his entire body froze.
Pei Chongyuan’s forehead was not cool. Jiang Xi felt that this person was always burning hot, like a ball of fire, capable of blowing up the small fireball that he already had burning inside.
‘It seems to be getting better,’ Pei Chongyuan said, straightening up without a change of expression, and asked him, ‘What do you want to eat later?’
Jiang Xi shook his head, not having an appetite.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him in silence, and then said slowly after a while, ‘Let’s talk about it when we go out.’
Jiang Xi finally realised that he was no match for Pei Chongyuan at all. This man, even if he didn’t mean to, already had the key to his emotional life.
He had never thought that one day he would be controlled by someone else, but that day had come.
It was either a blessing or a curse, and you couldn’t escape a curse.
Jiang Xi closed his eyes and reviewed the feeling when their foreheads had just touched, and the faint smell of perfume on Pei Chongyuan.
Because Jiang Xi hadn’t eaten anything, the medicine would irritate his stomach, so the drip was administered very slowly to prevent him from feeling unwell.
Pei Chongyuan stood there the whole time holding the drip tube for him, and Jiang Xi didn’t mind him doing so.
After more than an hour, the drip was finally finished.
Pei Chongyuan called the nurse to remove the needle and listened attentively to the nurse’s instructions.
‘Thanks,’ said Pei Chongyuan, ‘then we’ll come back tomorrow afternoon.’
Jiang Xi was going to have to receive intravenous infusions for three days. Without even consulting him, Pei Chongyuan took it upon himself to decide to drive him to and from the hospital every day and accompany him for the injections.
When they left the hospital, Jiang Xi said, ‘I have a class tomorrow afternoon.’
‘You can come over in the evening,’ Pei Chongyuan glanced at his phone, ‘I’ll cancel the dinner tomorrow night.’
‘No,’ Jiang Xi hurriedly refused when he heard him say that, ‘I can do it myself.’
‘Your school is far away from here,‘ Pei Chongyuan opened the car door for him, “get in.”
Jiang Xi stood there watching him. At this moment, his high fever temporarily subsided and his mind became clearer.
He said, “Brother Pei, thank you today, but I can do it myself…”
’What do you mean by yourself?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, raised his hand and affectionately rubbed his head, ’Why are you trying to be a hero? Does it make you feel so bad to have someone stay with you when you are sick?’
Jiang Xi frowned: ‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘What did you mean then?’ Pei Chongyuan pressed him, ‘Was that directed at me? Do you not like me?’
‘No!’ Jiang Xi hurriedly explained, ‘Brother Pei, I didn’t mean that.’
‘You didn’t mean that?’ Pei Chongyuan straightened up, took a half step back, and looked at Jiang Xi in a scrutinising manner, ‘Then tell me, what did you mean.’
Pei Chongyuan’s attitude made Jiang Xi feel very oppressed. He had never been afraid of anything, but at the moment he was afraid that Pei Chongyuan would misunderstand him and cut off all contact with him.
Rationally, he knew that it would be best to end it.
However, when Jiang Xi opened his mouth, he said words of entreaty.
“Brother Pei, I just don’t want to trouble you.’
All his former pride and arrogance was completely extinguished in the presence of Pei Chongyuan, and Jiang Xi unconsciously changed from a carefree young man strolling on the clouds to a weed desperately clinging to a tree.
The tree he looked up to was Pei Chongyuan.
After Jiang Xi finished explaining, Pei Chongyuan didn’t say anything, just stood there looking at him.
At this time, it was already dark, and Jiang Xi couldn’t see his expression clearly, but he just felt that the other person seemed very unhappy.
‘Brother Pei,‘ Jiang Xi acknowledged, and sighed, “I’m not used to this.”
’Not used to being taken care of?”
Jiang Xi nodded.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t take it seriously. He could tell that Jiang Xi was the kind of child from a good family, who must have been spoiled and lived the life of a young master.
He just thought it was a child playing mind games with him, so he went along with the flow and said somewhat affectionately, ’Then you need to get used to it slowly now.’
Jiang Xi looked at him in surprise.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t say much more, just urged him to get in the car quickly.
‘Tie your scarf,’ said Pei Chongyuan, ‘or should I do it for you?’
Jiang Xi didn’t react, and Pei Chongyuan had already taken the scarf from him and put it around his neck.
After the injection and meal, Pei Chongyuan drove Jiang Xi back to school.
On the way, the car radio was on, and someone happened to order a song on the jukebox, Li Zongsheng’s ‘The Price of Love’.
Jiang Xi remembered that snowy day when they stopped the car to wait for the red light, and his phone was playing this song as Pei Chongyuan in the driver’s seat softly sang along.
The light in the car was dim, and occasionally the pink-orange light from the street lamps sneaked in, illuminating the ambiguity that was drifting in the small space.
Pei Chongyuan was very comfortable and continued to softly sing along, while Jiang Xi’s heart rate and breathing became erratic, disrupting her normally clear mind and vision.
They didn’t have much interaction, and Jiang Xi didn’t know what she should talk about with him, for fear that a few words would reveal her true self.
He looked out the window and saw his own face reflected in the glass, suddenly feeling very unfamiliar with the person in front of him.
Just one more turn ahead would be their school, and Jiang Xi looked at the intersection, praying that the green light would turn red.
If it was red, they would have to wait another 60 seconds, and he would be able to spend another 60 seconds with Pei Chongyuan.
However, the heavens did not comply with his wishes, and the traffic was smooth all the way.
Pei Chongyuan’s car pulled up in front of the school gate. As Jiang Xi, with a cold face, unbuckled his seat belt, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Do you mind if I take a look around your school?’
Jiang Xi was a little surprised.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘I’ve never been here before, so I want to see the sights.’
‘You can park inside,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘Turn right after entering the gate, and there’s the parking lot.’
Pei Chongyuan, who had received permission, gave a soft laugh, turned on the turn signal, and drove into the gates of the Conservatory of Music.
It wasn’t too late on a winter evening, but there were already very few students on campus.
After all, it was a cold winter’s night, and no one wanted to brave the cold wind and the elements.
In the past, Pei Chongyuan would never have thought of accompanying a young boy on a stroll around the campus. Even when he was at school, he never had the patience to do so.
Instead of aimlessly wandering around, it would have been better to get straight to the point and go to a hotel room, so that no one would waste time or energy.
But people don’t stay the same forever.
Neither of them was dressed warmly, both of them being the type to prefer style to warmth. When the cold wind blew, they both got goose bumps, and Jiang Xi even shivered secretly, with her upper and lower teeth clattering together at a high frequency, making a clear cracking sound.
However, neither of them made any move to go back.
‘Do you still miss home?’ Pei Chongyuan suddenly asked.
Jiang Xi was taken aback, and it took her a while to remember that she had said she missed home before.
They walked to the deserted stadium and slowly walked on the pitch in the dark, like two ghosts frozen to death in the snow.
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, not knowing how to reply.
‘It’s like this when you first go to university,’ Pei Chongyuan said in a tone of voice of someone who had been there before, ‘just leaving home, not getting used to it, it’ll get better slowly.’
They walked side by side, their arms touching from time to time, sparks flying.
‘Mm,‘ Jiang Xi was too cold to speak, and all he could manage was a very light nasal sound.
’You’re cold, aren’t you?’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him and suddenly took his hand.
Jiang Xi’s hand was cold, so cold that it felt like it had a layer of ice on it.
Pei Chongyuan took his hand in the palm of his hand, not too hard, as if he was afraid that if he applied any strength, the ice would melt.
He said, ‘Let’s go. I’ll walk you back to your dormitory. It’s too cold. Don’t catch a cold again.’

Chapter 13: Going with you
Jiang Xi didn’t want to go back to the dormitory. As he was led outside the basketball court, his sense of loss was greater than his desire to go back to the warm room.
He looked down at the hand holding his, half-hidden in the sleeve. The grip was gentle, but holding the hand felt like pinching his heart.
Obsessed.
That thought popped into Jiang Xi’s head.
Stepping on the steps, a few more steps up and there is the path lit up by the street lamps. Once there, the hand holding it will probably be released.
Jiang Xi’s gaze followed Pei Chongyuan’s hand up, along the arm wrapped tightly in the woolen overcoat, to the man’s exposed neck and ears. His gaze strayed, sliding over the sharply defined jawline, to the lips, and in the cold wind and snow, exhaling a misty fog.
Jiang Xi felt like he was starting to have a fever again, from the bottom of his heart, burning down the left atrium, destroying the right ventricle, and setting his desires ablaze, making them insatiable.
Pei Chongyuan’s long legs had already taken a step out of the basketball court, and half a beam of light hit his trousers.
It was too late.
Don’t go back.
Don’t go back to the bright world that can illuminate reason.
Jiang Xi exerted himself and pulled Pei Chongyuan back into the darkness.
Pei Chongyuan was stunned. The two of them locked gazes in the world concealed by darkness. Jiang Xi, as if he wasn’t afraid of death, pulled the person back down from the steps to the ground, and they impulsively kissed in the snow.
The night was terrifying, and it always made people do things they wouldn’t normally do.
Jiang Xi’s hand clasped Pei Chongyuan’s tightly, and in retaliation, his fingernails dug into the back of the other person’s hand, leaving scratches on it like a cat.
His other hand hung at his side, clenched into a tight fist, as if he was holding onto all his reason, determined not to let it escape and ruin the kiss.
Jiang Xi had never kissed anyone before, and his green-eyed impulse was reckless but extraordinarily pleasing.
It wasn’t a fawning kiss, but one with the arrogance and desperation of a young man.
No testing, no preening.
He was bold and uninhibited.
Jiang Xi forcefully pried open the neatly aligned, slightly cool teeth and explored the slippery tongue.
He took the initiative, boldly, not allowing resistance.
Pei Chongyuan, on the other hand, just stood there, not rejecting or accommodating, allowing the other person to behave childishly on him.
Jiang Xi kept his eyes tightly shut, not looking at or thinking about anything.
But Pei Chongyuan looked down at him with a triumphant smile in the darkness.
I don’t know how long the kiss lasted, and finally Jiang Xi slowly backed away.
He took a deep breath, not cowardly, and looked directly into Pei Chongyuan’s eyes and said, ‘I don’t want to go back.’
‘Where do you want to go?’ Pei Chongyuan asked knowingly, ‘If you’re not going back to the dormitory, where do you want to go?’
Jiang Xi resented him for knowing what he meant to say, but he had to say it himself.
‘I’ll go with you.‘
The three words fell on the snow, like a marbles dropped on the tiled floor, making a crisp and loud sound.
The “marbles” rolled to Pei Chongyuan’s feet, waiting for him to kick them away or bend down to pick them up.
’Xixi…’ Pei Chongyuan called affectionately, deliberately tempting Jiang Xixi’s soul, “How can I stand this?”
Jiang Xixi just stood there looking at him, his eyes straight, not avoiding anything.
He offered himself up, and if the other person didn’t want him, then he could stop pining away.
From now on, he would be dust and dirt, and he didn’t even hope that he could be blown away by the wind and mixed in with the world of dust.
He heard Pei Chongyuan let out a clear sigh, and then he was tightly embraced in his arms.
Pei Chongyuan leaned close to his ear and said with gritted teeth, ‘Xiao Xi, don’t regret it.’
After that, he took Jiang Xi’s hand and walked quickly out of the basketball court. The two of them stepped in the orange light, stepping on each other’s intertwined shadows, and returned to the car.
Driver’s seat.
Passenger seat.
Before Jiang Xi could come back to his senses after sitting in, he was already being pressed against the backrest of the reclined seat and kissed.
Pei Chongyuan’s kissing skills were consummate, enough to make the naive Jiang Xi worship.
This was like Pei Chongyuan’s way of thanking Jiang Xi for his bravery.
The two became emotional and aroused in the small, confined space, kissing lingeringly and lovingly.
The air in the car was heavy with passion, and their feelings were reflected in their panting breaths.
Pei Chongyuan’s hand stroked the short hair on Jiang Xi’s head, down the side of his face, and cupped his chin.
Jiang Xi felt as if his lifeline had been seized, and he opened his eyes slightly to look at the person in front of him.
‘Come with me?’
‘Huh?’
Jiang Xi’s hand rested on his back, fearless, like a soldier who had barged onto the battlefield with nothing but his bare hands.
‘Are you afraid that I’ll infect you with a cold?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Little brat.’
With that, their lips met and their ears rubbed against each other.
‘Go home.’ When Pei Chongyuan got up, he casually took the scarf he had pulled apart and covered Jiang Xi’s face with it, then kissed the mouth through the scarf again, “It’s too late to regret now.”
The whole way, Jiang Xi lay there without moving, with the scarf covering his face, like the red veil of an ancient bride.
He could feel the speed of the car, so fast that he was worried that Pei Chongyuan was breaking the law.
Every time they stopped at a red light, Pei Chongyuan would take his hand and kiss it.
fingers, the back of the hand, the palm of the hand, and even the artery at the wrist.
The kiss was ecstatic and also greedy and tender.
Pei Chongyuan’s heart was filled with wave after wave of desire that had been ignited by Jiang Xi. He never expected that in this game, it would be Jiang Xi who took the initiative to come to his door.
His long-legged boy did not disappoint him.
Pei Chongyuan drove and took Jiang Xi home.
I don’t know if it was because Jiang Xi said ‘I’m feeling a little homesick’ in the afternoon that Pei Chongyuan also lost his head.
For the first time, his home welcomed guests.
From the underground garage to the elevator, Jiang Xi kept his head down, one hand clutching his ‘red cover’ and the other tightly held by Pei Chongyuan.
This feeling was so unfamiliar that it made Jiang Xi unable to stop feeling anxious.
But after the anxiety, there was more anticipation.
He opened the door and entered the house.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t even turn on the lights and directly pushed the person against the wall.
No one spoke, only the sound of clothes rubbing against each other and the sound of breathing, which was especially clear in the quiet night.
Jiang Xi walked past the entrance, past the living room on the first floor, past the corner of the stairs, and past the vase that had been carelessly pushed over and broken.
He threw away his armour along the way, and finally fell onto the soft bed, surrendering himself to the person who softly called him ‘Xiao Xi’.
Snow was still falling outside the window, and it was getting heavier.
The whole city began to be buried, and at the same time, it was buried by the clean white snow, along with the intertwined desires, the chaotic breaths, and the unbearably murky air.
‘You’re awake?’
When Jiang Xi opened his eyes, the curtains were still drawn tightly, blocking out all light. He wasn’t even sure if it was the middle of the night or the early morning.
Pei Chongyuan was standing there wearing only a pair of baggy pyjama pants, holding a glass of water.
The two of them looked at each other. Pei Chongyuan smiled, put down the glass, and leaned over to kiss him.
Jiang Xi felt miserable. Every part of his body was wailing, accusing him of being treated unreasonably last night.
‘Do you have a class in the morning?’ Pei Chongyuan asked. ‘If not, get a good night’s sleep. I’ll stay home with you.’

Chapter 14: Old scores
Eighteen-year-olds and twenty-eight-year-olds have different definitions of many things.
Twenty-eight-year-olds think it’s no big deal to hold hands, kiss, or even have sex, while eighteen-year-olds always think that one look can last forever.
Pei Chongyuan ran his hand over Jiang Xi’s forehead: ‘Luckily, you don’t have a fever.’
Jiang Xi wrapped the quilt around himself and looked at him absently.
‘Are you stupid?‘ Pei Chongyuan laughed. “If you don’t say anything, I’ll assume you don’t have any classes. If the teacher calls your name, it won’t be my fault.”
’I don’t have any classes in the morning.‘ Jiang Xi’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, not sure if it was because he was sick or because of last night’s passion.
’That’s good.’ Pei Chongyuan sat by the bed and looked at him with a smile, “How do you feel?”
Jiang Xi didn’t know how to answer this question.
Last night’s impulse led to a fire in his body afterwards, and now Jiang Xi is not yet fully revived, with his organs working hard to rebuild after the disaster.
He has trouble speaking, and his throat hurts.
Pei Chongyuan tapped his collarbone: ‘Looks like you’ll need to wear a turtleneck when you go out today.’
Jiang Xi didn’t understand, and it wasn’t until he got up to take a shower at noon that he understood what Pei Chongyuan had said.
His body was covered in hickies, not even sparing his collarbone.
Jiang Xi stood in front of the mirror. He was not that narcissistic and did not have a hobby of admiring his own beauty, but the marks left by Pei Chongyuan on his body made him feel extraordinarily excited.
Does everyone feel this way?
It’s like falling in love with someone in a meteorite attack, unable to dodge and being smashed right in the middle.
His hand gently brushed over the marks, and the events that had happened more than ten hours ago reappeared before his eyes, making him smile involuntarily.
Pei Chongyuan was better than he had imagined.
While Jiang Xi was taking a shower, Pei Chongyuan was outside preparing lunch, taking care of him like a precious baby.
If it wasn’t just a one-night stand, Pei Chongyuan really wouldn’t have been able to pull up his pants and ignore his bedmate. That would have been too ungentlemanly, not his style.
But before Jiang Xi, he really didn’t go to work for anyone. One morning, the phone calls looking for him came one after the other, but he didn’t even leave the house.
Everything was resolved over the phone, and if it really required his presence, it was postponed until the afternoon or the next day.
He doted on Jiang Xi a little too much, and his heart had been captured along with his kidney.
It didn’t matter, and the alarm bell in Pei Chongyuan’s head did not go off. If a boy he slept with could not make him feel moved, then this love was also boring.
Pei Chongyuan liked bed affairs with a taste, and the so-called ‘taste’ was at least based on the level of mutual affection.
He felt more affection for Jiang Xi than he had ever felt for anyone before, so Jiang Xi entered his home the first time and made him willingly take care of him.
After taking a shower, Jiang Xi glanced at the bathrobe hanging there and thought about it for a while before not wearing it.
He only took a large bath towel and wiped himself while walking out.
His body was still wet, and he stepped on the floor with bare feet, watching as a puddle of water appeared under his feet.
Pei Chongyuan heard the sound of the bathroom sliding door opening, and came out of the kitchen. As soon as he walked over, he saw a beautiful sight: his long-legged boy was standing there so unprotected, without any shame or embarrassment, looking at him with an open heart.
Pei Chongyuan smiled, walked over, took the towel from him, and wiped his body.
From the neck to the shoulders, and all the way down, he even wiped his feet clean.
‘How is it?‘ Pei Chongyuan asked tenderly, taking the man into his arms. “Still not feeling well?”
’It hurts,‘ Jiang Xi said. “It hurts when I walk.”
How could Pei Chongyuan not understand what he meant? He laughed and said, “Then I’ll rub it for you.”
Jiang Xi’s hands squeezed his shoulders, and he leaned into his embrace, groaning softly as he ran his hands over him.
’There, I’m not bullying you anymore,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ’Go put some medicine on it, then eat. Don’t you have a class this afternoon?’
Jiang Xi was embraced by Pei Chongyuan and returned to the room, lying on the bed and letting the other person apply medicine to him.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘In the afternoon, I’ll first take you back to school, and then I have to go to the company.’
Jiang Xi buried his face in the pillow and let out a muffled ‘hmm.’
‘Wait for me at school after your class. I’ll pick you up after I’m done to give you the injection.’
‘No need,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘you do your own thing.’
‘No.‘ Pei Chongyuan’s tone was the same as always, and it didn’t soften even after the two had had sex, “It’s cold and far away, I won’t feel at ease if you go by yourself.”
Jiang Xi laughed, tilting his head slightly, resting his chin on the pillow, and looking ahead with the corners of his mouth turned up: “What’s there to feel at ease about…”
’I’m afraid someone will trick you.’ Pei Chongyuan finished applying the medicine, bent down, and planted a kiss on the soft mound of his tummy, smiling and saying, ’I’ll have to keep a close eye on you.’
Jiang Xi was stimulated both physically and mentally by the kiss and the words at the same time, and his toes went straight for a long time without him speaking.
‘Okay, you lie down like this for a while, and wait until the ointment dries before getting up,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at the time and said, ‘I’ll go and serve the porridge out for you to keep it warm, so you can eat it directly later.’
Jiang Xi watched Pei Chongyuan go out, and it was impossible to say that he wasn’t touched.
Since he was young, who had been so good to him?
No one.
No one had ever cared for him as if he were their own child. Since he was eight years old, he had never received any intimate care. His parents had spent years and years putting money and gifts of all kinds in front of him, but those were never what he wanted.
What did people desire most?
It wasn’t empty luxury, but a warm embrace and tender companionship.
Jiang Xi got back down on the floor and sniffed hard at the smell left by Pei Chongyuan on the pillow. It was the same shampoo scent as was in his hair at the moment.
There was a secret connection between them.
Pei Chongyuan made congee for Jiang Xi and cooked two light dishes with little salt and oil.
Jiang Xi didn’t have much of an appetite, so Pei Chongyuan sat next to him and forced him to eat bite by bite.
‘You have to eat,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘be a good boy.’
Jiang Xi looked at him and smiled softly.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘how many people have you brought back?’
This was a question Jiang Xi had wanted to ask while he was in the shower. He could clearly sense Pei Chongyuan’s experience in this area, that he was a master at it.
As Jiang Xi lay on the bed, he clutched the bed sheets again and thought, I wonder how many people have laid here before, enjoying Pei Chongyuan’s care.
How many?
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘What? Are you starting to settle old scores with me?’
‘No,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I’m not interested in that, I was just asking casually.’
‘You’re the only one.’ Pei Chongyuan really didn’t lie. He could tell Jiang Xi with a clear conscience that he was the only one he brought home.
This answer was very cunning, but the blame could only be placed on Jiang Xi’s naivety.
Hearing Pei Chongyuan’s answer, Jiang Xi’s first reaction was that he was lying.
But Pei Chongyuan said, ’I’m not lying to you. You’re the first guest in this house.’
He scooped up a spoonful of porridge and held it to Jiang Xi’s lips, smiling, ‘You’re not just anyone who can come to my home.’
Jiang Xi looked him straight in the eye for a long time, then opened his mouth and ate the warm spoonful of porridge.

Chapter 15 Waiting for you
After dinner, Pei Chongyuan wanted to walk Jiang Xi back to class.
He looked at the kiss marks on Jiang Xi’s body, got up and said, ‘You wait.’
Jiang Xi hung her long legs down and stared blankly at the sofa. A few minutes later, Pei Chongyuan came out with some clothes.
‘We’re about the same height,’ Pei Chongyuan said, gesturing twice in front of him, ‘you can wear mine.’
Jiang Xi looked at him, ‘I’ll wear my own…’
‘Don’t wear your own,’ Pei Chongyuan pulled him up from the sofa and directly put a sweater on him, ‘I don’t want anyone to see what’s on your neck.’
He leaned over and whispered in Jiang Xi’s ear, ‘Only show it to me.’
Jiang Xi stood straight without reacting, but his heart began to swell with emotion, and he longed to hug Pei Chongyuan and jump off the boulder together into the raging sea below.
‘There you go,’ Pei Chongyuan helped him put on the sweater, patiently adjusting the collar, ‘very handsome.’
Jiang Xi raised his hand to touch the soft collar, but was kissed on the finger by Pei Chongyuan instead.
‘Lift your leg.’
Jiang Xi came out of the bathroom with nothing on, and only wrapped a bath towel around his waist during dinner. Pei Chongyuan pulled it off with a cold breeze, which was a bit embarrassing.
Pei Chongyuan, on the other hand, remained expressionless, holding a pair of clean underwear in his hand and grabbing his ankle with one hand.
Jiang Xi wanted to say that he would wear them himself, but hesitated and raised his leg.
Underwear, pants, and even socks were all put on for him by Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi suddenly felt as if he had returned to his childhood, unable to do anything, ignorant of everything, and being taken care of meticulously.
After getting dressed, Pei Chongyuan came over and looked at him with a smile, ‘Wait for me, I’ll go change.’
He was still wearing his pajama pants, and Jiang Xi saw the sexy six-pack as soon as he looked down.
‘Okay,’ Jiang Xi responded without emotion, but when Pei Chongyuan straightened up and was about to leave, he suddenly put his arms around the other person’s neck and leaned in for a kiss.
Pei Chongyuan laughed in time with him and his hands felt their way through the sweater.
Jiang Xi couldn’t stand it anymore and grabbed Pei Chongyuan’s shoulders, pushing him away, “I’ll wait for you.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed and pinched his nose, ’Little rascal.’
Pei Chongyuan went to change clothes, and Jiang Xi sat there repeatedly pondering the other person’s words.
Little rascal.
Jiang Xi turned his head and looked out the window, looking at the overgrown courtyard and smiling.
It was still early when Pei Chongyuan dropped Jiang Xi off at school. Jiang Xi knew that he was busy and didn’t hold him back. He got out of the car when they arrived.
‘Xiao Xi,’ Pei Chongyuan called out as he got out of the car, ‘wait for me after class.’
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, but finally nodded.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘Good boy.’
The man drove away, and Jiang Xi stood there until he turned the corner and could no longer be seen.
He was wearing Pei Chongyuan’s clothes, and the scent of Pei Chongyuan was still on his body.
This feeling was very unfamiliar to Jiang Xi, so unfamiliar that it made him feel a little panicky.
But despite the panic, there was more of an indescribable sweetness.
Jiang Xi lifted his hand and touched the soft collar that hid his secret, thinking about the marks on his body. The hidden pleasure from last night once again invaded him, making him long for Pei Chongyuan’s embrace.
Turning and walking towards the teaching building, Jiang Xi felt like a mermaid in a fairy tale. Every step he took felt like it was being cut with a knife, but the pain was sweet.
Sadomasochist?
Jiang Xi laughed.
Jiang Xi didn’t pay much attention in the afternoon class, partly because he didn’t feel well, and partly because he was thinking about Pei Chongyuan.
Tong Ye asked him quietly, ‘Brother Xi, where were you last night? I went to your dormitory to look for you, but they said you hadn’t returned.’
‘I went to a relative’s house,’ Jiang Xi said casually, ‘Do you need to see me for something?’
“Nothing much, I just wanted to ask if you’re rehearsing today.’
In their band, Tong Ye is the nominal leader, but since it was Jiang Xi who started it up in the first place, Tong Ye always asks Jiang Xi first about big and small matters.
‘I probably won’t be able to today,’ Jiang Xi thought about Pei Chongyuan’s words, ‘I have to go to the hospital after class.’
‘Hospital?’ Tong Ye became nervous when he heard this, ‘Who’s what?’
“It’s nothing, I have a cold and have to get an IV for three days in a row.’ Jiang Xi glanced at the needle mark on the back of his hand and remembered the way Pei Chongyuan stood there clutching the IV when they were in the hospital.
‘Going to the hospital to get it?’ Tong Ye said, ‘Our school hospital is so convenient.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, and Tong Ye was embarrassed and didn’t say anything either.
Class ended at 3:30, and Tong Ye was busy arranging to go play games, but Jiang Xi waved his hand and said he had something to do and wasn’t going.
After the group left, Jiang Xi went to the library with his phone in his hand. He found an empty corner, put on his headphones, and listened to music while waiting for Pei Chongyuan.
He waited from 3:30 to 6:30. It was dark outside, and he had listened to the songs on his playlist over and over again, but Pei Chongyuan still didn’t move.
Jiang Xi felt a little upset.
He began to speculate about Pei Chongyuan’s thoughts, and suddenly realized how disrespectful his actions had been yesterday.
He took the initiative to seek pleasure and went home to bed with a man he had only met a few times.
Pei Chongyuan’s gentle care this morning probably doesn’t mean anything. He was just being moral, that’s all.
Jiang Xi’s fingers lightly rubbed the screen of his phone, looking at his own face reflected on the screen. He was tired of being so worried and insecure.
Forget it.
Jiang Xi packed his things and stood up.
He decided to go back to the dormitory. It didn’t matter if he didn’t get the injection. He would go back and get some sleep, and everything would be fine the next day. The most important thing was to cure himself of this sudden heartache.
When he walked out of the library, Jiang Xi still felt a little disappointed. He looked at the snow floating in the sky. The white, fluffy snowflakes were dyed by the orange street lamps, like clean cotton balls being thrown into orange juice. It was like he didn’t understand love, but was dragged into lust.
Jiang Xi carefully stepped on the snow as he walked down the steps, determined to put this behind him.
Who said that when men have sex, it must be because they like each other?
Who said that when adults have sex, they must actually start a relationship?
He laughed at himself in his heart for being stupid and naive, but just as he reached the last step, he received a call from Pei Chongyuan.
It was as if, having calculated this far, this person just wouldn’t let him walk away from the trap of lust.
Jiang Xi stared at the phone for a few seconds before answering. Before he could say anything, Pei Chongyuan apologised first.
‘I’m sorry, Xi, I just got done here,’ Pei Chongyuan’s tone sounded urgent, ‘at school? I’ll come find you.’
All the resentment and anger disappeared, and Jiang Xi didn’t know when he had become so easy to talk to.
‘Don’t worry,‘ Jiang Xi said hoarsely, “It’s snowing, the roads are bad, so drive carefully.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed on the other end of the line and asked him, “Is this concern?”
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything.
’It’ll take me at least half an hour to get there, so if you’re hungry, eat something first.‘
’I’ll wait for you,’ Jiang Xi said, ’We’ll eat together when you get here.’

Chapter 16: New love, old love
Pei Chongyuan really didn’t mean to neglect Jiang Xi. He didn’t come to the office all morning, and when he came in the afternoon, there was a mountain of work, so much that he didn’t even have time to take a sip of water, let alone chat with the little boy.
When he was finally done with all his work and the customers who had come to visit had been sent away, he suddenly remembered that he had to take Jiang Xi for an injection in the evening.
Pei Chongyuan was so tired that he had a headache. He could have simply called Jiang Xi and told her to go there by herself, but after thinking it over, he still felt that he could not be so heartless. The little boy had fed him well yesterday, so it would not be appropriate to be aloof towards him today.
He put on his overcoat and walked out, calling Jiang Xi in the elevator.
The elevator was empty, just him alone, and Jiang Xi’s hoarse voice came from the other end of the phone, immediately setting Pei Chongyuan’s evil fire ablaze.
This is strange. For the first time, Pei Chongyuan had this reaction just by listening to someone’s voice, and he overslept last night.
He told Jiang Xi to eat something first to fill her stomach, so she wouldn’t be hungry, but the other person insisted on waiting for him.
After hanging up the phone, Pei Chongyuan loosened his tie while smiling and thinking, this kid is really into it.
Pei Chongyuan was never afraid of his lover losing interest. If they didn’t, it would be a failure on his part, and it would mean that he wasn’t attractive.
However, he also always believed that so-called being into it was only temporary. There was always an end to the pursuit of pleasure, and once the novelty wore off, it was time to find the next one.
Jiang Xi looked like the type of person who didn’t like to get entangled, someone who valued face and was proud but also stubborn.
This kind of person was best suited to be a lover, exciting to be with but never dragging things out when it came to parting ways.
Pei Chongyuan closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down, as he didn’t want to walk out of the elevator with a tent.
When the elevator reached the underground parking lot on B1, Pei Chongyuan finally drove out the evil fire. He strode calmly to get his car, and as soon as he drove out, he saw an acquaintance standing by the roadside, wrapped in a coat and anxiously hailing a taxi.
But at this time, the weather was bad, with heavy snow, and taxis were not so easy to come by.
Pei Chongyuan pulled over and stopped, and after a moment of surprise, the person outside smiled and opened the car door to get in the passenger seat.
“I didn’t think I’d meet you here,’ The other person’s eyes were smiling, as sweet as a little fruit.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, ‘What’s there to be surprised about? You don’t know where I work? But you, why are you here?’
‘Hey, it’s that life-sucking boss again. He told me to deliver a document, and then I have to take a taxi back myself.’ ‘Little fruit’ rubbed his red, frozen hands and said with a smile, ‘Luckily I met you. Brother Yuan, will you take me home?’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and stepped on the accelerator, carefully following the car in front at a slow speed: ‘Where do you live now? I’ll see if it’s on the way.’
‘Wow, you really have changed, you’re not the one following me home anymore!’ the man said, sitting in the passenger seat with his legs stretched out. ‘This seat is weird, why is it so far back?’
Pei Chongyuan thought to himself: it’s because you have short legs.
Recently, the only person who has been riding in the passenger seat of his car is Jiang Xi. Jiang Xi has long legs and doesn’t feel comfortable sitting there, so Pei Chongyuan has specially adjusted the seat for him to make him more comfortable.
‘Make do with it,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’m going to pick someone up, where are you going? If it’s on the way, I’ll take you with me, if not, I’ll drop you off at the subway station.’
‘…what a heartless person.’
Pei Chongyuan just laughed as he listened to him complain, without retorting.
The man gave an address, and Pei Chongyuan heard that it was near Jiangxi School. When they arrived at the school, they went a little further to the next intersection, and there was the residential area.
‘Okay, that’s good,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘then I’ll give you a ride all the way there.’
‘Xiaoguo’ was in a good mood, as he was able to get a free ride in the heavy snow.
He leaned there lazily, smiling and looking at Pei Chongyuan.
‘There’s no use looking at me,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I heard that you’re in a relationship?’
‘It ended a long time ago,‘ the other person said with a little pout, “He treated me worse than you treat me.”
Pei Chongyuan glanced at him with a smile.
’Brother Yuan, I really missed you.‘
’Stop it, it’s been years, don’t talk to me about missing each other.’ Pei Chongyuan didn’t even look at him, ’It’s the same old story, if you have something to ask me, I’ll help, if not, there’s no need to get attached.’
The person in the passenger seat heard this and felt quite uncomfortable. He sighed and said, ‘This man, really cold-blooded. At the beginning, when he was eyeing you, he wanted to have sex with you so badly that he would have thrown mountains of gold and silver at you. Now that he’s had enough sex with you, he’s tired of you.’
No matter what he said, Pei Chongyuan just smiled in response, neither refuting nor showing any signs of impatience.
When the other person finished speaking and received no response, he felt that he had been snubbed and, displeased, turned to look out of the window. After a moment’s thought, he turned back around.
‘Brother Yuan, you’ve got a new girlfriend, haven’t you?’ His voice was sweet, but a little too sweet. ‘I mean, did you adjust the seat for her? How long has it been going on? What kind of person is she? Does she make as much noise as I do?’
‘Shut up,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a light laugh. ‘How many people can compare to you?’
‘Pfft, I’m so wild, but you’re not even willing to rekindle our old romance, it’s so boring.‘
Halfway through the drive, Pei Chongyuan received a message from Jiang Xi, telling him to wait in the teaching building and letting him know when Pei Chongyuan arrived so that he could go out.
’Little lover?‘
’What’s it got to do with you?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’When we get to the Conservatory of Music, you can get off, and it’s just one intersection to your house, so walk back there yourself.’
‘Is he from the Conservatory of Music?’ Xiaoguo’s smile was sticky and gooey. “That’s great, a college student? I told you, he’s young, I can’t compare.”
Pei Chongyuan ignored him, his mind preoccupied with Jiang Xi. It was already past 7:00, and he was afraid that she was hungry.
It was snowing, and there was traffic, so by the time Pei Chongyuan arrived at the Conservatory of Music, it was almost 7:30. He asked the person in the passenger seat to get out, but the other person refused to do so.
‘It’s just one more intersection, so just take me back.’ “Little Fruit” was being petulant and spoiled, saying, “You can take him first, and then you can both take me together. I’ll get to see what your new love looks like, too. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything!”
Pei Chongyuan felt a little uncomfortable, and was indeed worried that this guy would say whatever came into his head, and upset Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan is indeed cold-blooded. It was windy and snowy, but he refused to go any further to the conservatory and insisted on getting off the car with the ‘little fruit’ who could be both spoiled and sweet-talked.
‘What a bastard,’ the guy muttered angrily as he unbuckled his seat belt, ‘after fucking me for so long, he’s got a new love and forgotten the old one.’
‘Be careful, there’s a lot of accidents at the intersection ahead, don’t just charge ahead recklessly.‘
’None of your business!’ Xiaoguo got out of the car angrily, and before the door had even closed, he saw a tall boy standing across the street looking at him.
Xiaoguo smiled and bent down to the person in the car and said, ’Brother Yuan, I didn’t do anything to you, I have nothing to do with your conflict.’
Then he gave Pei Chongyuan a kiss in the air, then shook his head and twisted his waist, closed the car door, looked at the handsome young man standing over there with a smile, and walked away happily.

Chapter 17: Jealousy
As soon as the car door closed, Jiang Xi walked towards the road.
Pei Chongyuan hadn’t noticed at first, but after the ‘little fruit’ had said that, he turned around and looked at the entrance to the Conservatory of Music.
It was snowing heavily, and the wind was so strong that it was hard to open your eyes. It was misty outside, and the world was blurry.
When Jiang Xi walked over, he couldn’t describe the feeling in his heart. It was as if his heart had turned into a damp towel, and when he squeezed it hard, all that came out was sour lemonade.
When he first walked out of the school gate and saw Pei Chongyuan’s car, Jiang Xi was overjoyed, like a child who had been waiting for a parent to pick them up after school and finally got their turn. But before he could even walk over, he noticed that his parent was hugging another child in his arms, the two of them intimate and warm.
In an instant, he felt like an outsider, at a loss.
Jiang Xi had long since expected that Pei Chongyuan was not a devoted lover. His kisses, his hugs, and even the details of how he treated himself all revealed that he had been a womaniser.
But Jiang Xi was confident that he could handle this man, just as when he was eight years old, he had straightened his back and refused to be taken care of by anyone.
However, he didn’t expect that this morning, he had just got out of Pei Chongyuan’s bed, and in the afternoon, someone else was sitting in this man’s car.
The smile on Jiang Xi’s face was covered by the snowstorm, his hands in his pockets, and the clothes on his body became less warm.
He walked over, opened the back seat door, and got in.
Pei Chongyuan was taken aback and turned his head to ask him, ‘Why don’t you sit in the front?’
Jiang Xi looked at him coldly and said, ‘No, I’m not taking someone else’s seat.’
The child is throwing a tantrum.
Pei Chongyuan smiled helplessly, unbuckled his seat belt, and got out of the car.
Jiang Xi sat in the car and watched him walk around to this side, not knowing what this person wanted.
Pei Chongyuan pulled open the door next to Jiang Xi, stood outside, and said to him in a very nice manner, ‘Young master, this is me personally coming to invite you.’
Jiang Xi looked up at the person outside the car and didn’t say anything.
‘Jealous?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘That was a former partner of mine, and I happened to meet him downstairs at the company. It was a bad day, and he couldn’t get a taxi, so I let him ride along for a bit.’
Jiang Xi still didn’t say anything.
‘If you’re not happy, I won’t give rides to other people in the future,’ Pei Chongyuan leaned slightly forward, took his hand, and led the way out. ‘Don’t make trouble. Don’t you know whose position I’m in?’
Jiang Xi wanted to say that he really didn’t know.
But as he watched the man pull open the car door for him and wait for him to get in, looking sincere and gentle, his temper vanished.
‘Get in the car, young master,‘ Pei Chongyuan said with a wry smile. “You’re still sick, and you don’t care about yourself, but I do.”
Jiang Xi looked at him with deep eyes and said, “Pei, it doesn’t matter who you drive, it’s fine with me.”
’Don’t say that,’ Pei Chongyuan took his hand and shoved him into the car. ’I’ve been tired all afternoon, so don’t make me do anything else!’
Pei Chongyuan slammed the car door, sighed, and said, ‘It’s not hard to baby-sit for him, but he’s so stubborn. Other kids are like kittens, but he’s like a little leopard.
He shook his head helplessly and got into the car.
’Still not happy?’ Pei Chongyuan leaned over to fasten Jiang Xi’s seat belt, “You’re really jealous!”
Jiang Xi looked down at his hands, “No.”
A few seconds later, Jiang Xi said, ’Can I open the window?’
‘Why?‘ Pei Chongyuan started the car, turned the car around, and thought about taking the boy out for a bite to eat first.
’There’s a perfume smell in this seat.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed and cracked the window on his side a little. “Don’t crack the window on your side, it’ll blow on you and make me feel bad.”
That night, Jiang Xi said very little. After eating and getting an injection, Pei Chongyuan took him straight home without asking any questions.
Jiang Xi didn’t object, but he was obviously in a bad mood.
Once they entered the house, Pei Chongyuan embraced him before the lights were turned on, and said with a smile, burying his face in the hollow of his neck, ‘You’re young, but you have a big temper.’
Jiang Xi was unmoved. In fact, he didn’t want to act so petty, but he just couldn’t help himself.
He realised that he had a strong sense of possessiveness towards Pei Chongyuan. The thought of this person having previously been in the beds of countless people made him feel panicky with jealousy.
Yes, he was jealous.
He was jealous of those who had met Pei Chongyuan earlier.
Pei Chongyuan was behind him, hugging him, and his hands were restless as he unbuttoned Jiang Xi’s shirt.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Brother Pei, that person today was your ex…’
He paused for a moment, and then used the word ‘lover.’
Pei Chongyuan knew that Jiang Xi was a smart person, and it was useless to deny it.
‘It was a long time ago,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “Xixi, I’m ten years older than you, you can’t expect me to be completely clean and without any experience before you.”
Jiang Xi understood, of course he understood.
’I just don’t understand why he still wants to ride in your car when you’ve already broken up.”
Pei Chongyuan let go of him with a smile, turned on the lights, and pulled Jiang Xi towards the house.
So, children have their good and bad sides.
Pei Chongyuan has never been a patient person in this regard, but on this night, he exceptionally indulged Jiang Xi, who was arguing with him.
He pulled Jiang Xi into the living room, sat down himself, and tugged Jiang Xi’s hand to bring him closer to him.
Jiang Xi pushed a little, and instead of sitting in his lap, he sat down on the single sofa next to him.
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Our young master really has quite a temper.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him, ‘I’m just upset.’
‘I understand, which is why I’m trying to explain to you.’ Pei Chongyuan went over and sat on the armrest of his sofa, putting an arm around Jiang Xi’s shoulders. ‘There have been a few of them before, not to say that they were just casual affairs. They were disrespectful to people, but the experiences were all good, and even after we broke up, we remained friends.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him.
‘You may not agree, but you will understand in the future that if you want to live a stable life, you cannot have enemies,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘even if they are ex-lovers.’
Jiang Xi frowned: ‘So you keep in touch with them from time to time?’
‘Of course not!’ Pei Chongyuan squeezed his shoulder and laughed, ‘Today was really an accident. Xiaoxi, we’ve only just started, we don’t know each other yet, but at least you have to trust me.’
‘But then again, I’m quite happy with your reaction today.‘
Jiang Xi looked at him doubtfully.
Pei Chongyuan leaned down and kissed him gently.
’Getting angry with me shows that you care about me,’ Pei Chongyuan smiled and looked into Jiang Xi’s eyes, “I didn’t expect that you like me so much.”
Like.
Love.
Jiang Xi had never seriously thought about these two words or these two things since meeting Pei Chongyuan.
In the past two days, he has been like someone under a spell, hypnotised, and in front of Pei Chongyuan, he has even thrown a tantrum and lost his dignity.
Jiang Xi sighed deeply, feeling that he had really become a bit of a stranger.
Is love really like this? It can make someone become unlike themselves, like a clown who is always worried about what he has and hasn’t got.
‘Okay, go and get changed,’ Pei Chongyuan said, standing up and looking at him, ‘It’s hot in the house, you’re sweating.’
As he spoke, his fingers lightly brushed Jiang Xi’s nose, wiping away the thin layer of sweat.
Jiang Xi took Pei Chongyuan’s hand in his own, looked at him, and said with a deep expression in his eyes, ‘Brother Pei, I’m sorry.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘What are you sorry for?’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, just tilted his head and looked at the man standing in front of him.
This man was handsome, mature, and had grace; every word he said left Jiang Xi defenceless.
As the two men looked at each other, Jiang Xi’s armour, which was so fragile in the face of the other person, was shattered. He had no choice but to give himself to the other person.
Why was this so?
Jiang Xi later asked himself this question countless times.
However, he had no answer.
Just as there are no answers to many things in this world, there is no way to answer the question of why he fell in love with Pei Chongyuan.
He just fell in love, in the most foolish way, like a moth to a flame. He had already given his heart when the other person only saw him as the perfect lover.
He didn’t know that he had given his heart away, and thought that every sweet word and tender embrace he received was the other person’s true feelings.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I want it.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, leaned over and kissed him passionately.
He kissed him until Jiang Xi reached out to unbuckle his belt, but he pinched Jiang Xi’s chin, rubbed his lips against Jiang Xi’s, looked into Jiang Xi’s dazed eyes, and said with a smile, ‘Little rascal, not today.’
‘Why?’
‘Because we did it yesterday,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘your place can’t take this every day.’
Pei Chongyuan pulled him up: ‘Go change, I have a present for you.’

Chapter 18: Lovers
Pei Chongyuan’s gift was a pair of drumsticks.
The texture was beautiful, the weight was just right, and each drumstick had a leather case with Jiang Xi’s initials printed on it.
What surprised Jiang Xi most was that the shape of the head of the drumsticks Pei Chongyuan gave him was the same as the ones he usually used. Every drummer has their own habits and will adjust the drumsticks according to the different styles of music. Jiang Xi plays rock and roll, and not just any flashy and expensive drumsticks will satisfy his needs.
‘What do you think? Do you like them?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’m just a layman, and I’ve gone to a lot of trouble, so I’m not sure if they’re to your liking.’
Jiang Xi took the drumsticks in his hands, bounced them around, and twirled them deftly.
He looked at the drumsticks and said with a smile, ‘Brother Pei, thank you.’
Pei Chongyuan knew best how to please people, and when it came to gifts, he always made sure to choose something that would please the recipient and that would be unexpected.
He ordered the drumsticks the night after his second meeting with Jiang Xi. He called a friend who knew about these things and asked him to choose something that was presentable, and then ordered a leather case for it. It didn’t take much effort or time, but it made the child’s heart bloom with joy and he was willing to give anything.
Jiang Xi was touched by Pei Chongyuan’s thoughtfulness in choosing a gift.
Pei Chongyuan looked at the drumsticks that Jiang Xi was almost obsessed with and asked, ‘Will you use these for the performance next week?’
Jiang Xi laughed lightly and said, ‘Yes.’
That night, Jiang Xi slept peacefully next to Pei Chongyuan. The two of them did not get overly intimate, just like an old couple who had long been used to each other.
In the middle of the night, Jiang Xi woke up dazedly. The bedroom was dark, the curtains drawn so tightly that no light could get in.
He lay flat, a little dazed, and it took him a while to realise that he wasn’t in the dormitory but was sleeping at Pei Chongyuan’s house.
He turned his head and saw the man next to him, who was sleeping soundly and peacefully.
Jiang Xi turned sideways and stared at the other person.
Pei Chongyuan was 28, ten years older than him, and had seen the world and people in ways he had never seen before.
Probably countless men and women had lain next to him like this before, either sincerely or with ulterior motives.
Jiang Xi actually minded.
He had never longed for anything, but he felt a strange and fervent sense of possessiveness towards Pei Chongyuan, which he realised only today when he saw that person get out of Pei Chongyuan’s car.
He wished he had been born ten years earlier, so that he could have met Pei Chongyuan from the moment he was born, and be in every part of this man’s life.
He would chase away the flowers, plants, insects and butterflies along the roadside, so that no one could get close to Pei Chongyuan.
He was jealous of those who had met Pei Chongyuan before him, and those who had been loved by Pei Chongyuan before him.
In the darkness of the night, he suddenly imagined a scene: Pei Chongyuan stood far away from him, surrounded by many unfamiliar men and women. He charged with a knife, killing one after the other, until only he, covered in blood, and Pei Chongyuan, who was smiling at him, were left.
This image was a little bloody and terrifying, and it made him frown.
He reached out and grasped the hand of the still-sleeping Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi was careful not to wake the other person, and without the other person knowing, their fingers interlocked.
He looked at the person in front of him and said to himself, ‘Brother Pei, you have messed with me, and from now on, there can only be me.
There can only be me.
Jiang Xi thought, “If one day I find out that you have betrayed me, then we will be enemies from now on.”
After Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi started going out, Pei Chongyuan had proposed more than once that Jiang Xi move in with him.
A boy like Jiang Xi, who naturally can’t forget after sleeping with someone once, Pei Chongyuan would have been happy to be with someone every night if it wasn’t for the thought that Jiang Xi’s body might not be able to handle it.
But Jiang Xi disagreed, saying that he would live at school and only occasionally stay at Pei Chongyuan’s place.
‘I really don’t understand you,’ Pei Chongyuan said as he drove to Jiang Xi’s school during rush hour. ‘Why don’t I find a place near your school, where you can live more comfortably?’
‘I’m quite comfortable in the dormitory,‘ Jiang Xi said, standing outside the back door of the school’s activity centre and smoking. “Never mind that for now, how long will it take you?”
’Traffic jams,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “Don’t you start at seven? I’ll definitely make it.”
Jiang Xi glanced at the time on his phone, took a drag on his cigarette, and sighed, “You’d better.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ’What’s the matter? Are you upset? I did have something to do this afternoon, or I would have come earlier.’
‘No, I’m not upset,‘ Jiang Xi said. “I’m just afraid you’ll miss it.”
’No, don’t worry,’ Pei Chongyuan said, glancing at the navigation. Although he had said he would definitely arrive on time, looking at the red traffic route, he still felt a bit anxious.
He really did blame himself for this today.
He had previously promised Jiang Xi that he would come earlier, but then a classmate from university asked him to do something for him, which wasn’t actually urgent, but as he had time, he went ahead and did it.
This delay took quite a while.
Jiang Xi listened to what he had to say and didn’t say much, just telling him, ‘Drive carefully and be safe.’
‘Well, baby, don’t be angry, wait for me obediently.’
Jiang Xi couldn’t stand it when he called her that, it was so mushy and it felt like electricity running through her body.
But he didn’t argue, if he wanted to call her that, let him. It wasn’t anything important.
After hanging up the phone, Jiang Xi finished smoking outside and went backstage to get ready.
The party started at 7pm, and Jiang Xi’s band was the second to go on stage, at around 7:15pm.
At 6:50pm, they were already ready backstage, and Jiang Xi kept staring at his phone, still waiting for a message from Pei Chongyuan that he had arrived.
‘What’s wrong, Brother Xi?’ Tong Ye was excited and couldn’t contain his excitement.
This was their first time on stage, and all the band members were both excited and nervous.
Jiang Xi looked at the drumsticks in his hands and replied softly, ‘It’s fine.’
The party began, and the host had already taken the stage.
Jiang Xi clenched his back molars and took out his phone to check again.
At 7 o’clock, right on time, Pei Chongyuan’s message came through.
[Xiao Xi, I’m really sorry, the traffic is terrible, I’ll be a little while longer.
Jiang Xi’s heart completely sank, and the disappointment weighed on him like a thousand-pound burden, which he simply could not shake off.
He didn’t reply, turned off his phone directly, threw it into his bag, and said to Tong Ye, ‘What do you think? Are we all set?’
‘It’s perfect,’ Tong Ye said with confidence, ‘just waiting for everyone to scream!’
At 7:15 p.m., Jiang Xi and the others went on stage on time.
Standing on the stage, Jiang Xi looked down at the crowd, but he couldn’t find the person he wanted to see the most.
As he sat down behind the drums, Jiang Xi suddenly thought that perhaps Pei Chongyuan didn’t take it seriously at all. It was just a bunch of students entertaining themselves, and it simply wasn’t worth his attention.
The first drumbeat sounded, and the performance began.
Jiang Xi temporarily forgot about Pei Chongyuan and became the carefree Jiang Xi again. He held the drumsticks in his hands and rhythmically struck the drum.
All his emotions were vented through the drumbeats and revealed in this performance. His sweat fell and dripped onto his clothes.
Their performance lasted less than five minutes. After the last drumbeat, the audience went from quiet to boisterous.
The first performance of the Gun Dog Band was a great success, and they received cheers and applause from the audience.
Unfortunately, there was no lover of his in the audience for this first performance, which Jiang Xi had attached the greatest importance to and which could never be replicated.
He was the one who thought he was the lover.

Chapter 19: Punishment
In this way, Jiang Xi went off the stage with regrets.
Tong Ye, who knew nothing about it, turned back and asked Jiang Xi, ‘What’s wrong, Brother Xi? There were no mistakes either, so why are you angry?’
‘No,’ Jiang Xi said, rubbing his fingers hard against the two drumsticks, saying he wasn’t angry, but the veins on his hands were bulging.
Tong Ye felt something was wrong, and while packing his guitar, he asked, ‘What’s going on? You look like you’re going out to fight…with who? I’ll go with you.‘
Jiang Xi glanced at Tong Ye, relaxed his grip on the drumsticks, and patted him on the shoulder: “No one. I have to go.”
’What? I thought you weren’t allowed to leave?’ That night, they had to stay in the audience even after the performance, as the teachers from the department were watching.
Jiang Xi didn’t care about that. How could a few people control him?
He threw his drumsticks into his bag, put on his jacket, grabbed his bag and walked out.
Tong Ye looked at Jiang Xi’s back worriedly, wondering if he should follow him. If his brother was fighting, he would have to help.
Jiang Xi walked quickly, heading straight for the door. There were people from the student union guarding the door, not letting him go, but Jiang Xi ignored them and charged straight out.
“Hey, classmate!’ A boy wearing a student union work badge came over to stop Jiang Xi, ‘Which department and class are you in? You can’t go out!’
Jiang Xi gave him a cold stare and walked out regardless.
The boy came up to pull him back, but Jiang Xi just shook him off and saw Pei Chongyuan running towards them in a hurry.
It was already pitch black outside, and there were very few lights near the activity centre. There were only two or three of them, and the light was dim, but it was enough for Jiang Xi to see who was coming.
Jiang Xi stood inside the huge glass door, looking at the person outside through the dirty door.
A poem came to his mind: A man returning home in the snowstorm.
At that moment, he felt like a foolish person waiting for someone to return, year after year. Later, he even stopped hoping. However, one second before giving up, the old friend returned, covered in snow and wind, and gave him a strong hug.
The male student union member kept asking him which department he belonged to, but he had already pushed open the door and stood in Pei Chongyuan’s line of sight.
Pei Chongyuan walked quickly, the cold wind blowing hard. He kept frowning, and when he saw Jiang Xi at a glance, he hurried over to apologize. His sincere concern and apology made him not notice the change in Jiang Xi’s expression.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t see clearly, but when the dark mist on Jiang Xi’s handsome face dispersed, the boy next to him saw it clearly.
The boy who was full of murderous aura just now instantly changed when he saw the man outside. Although he still didn’t show a smile, his entire mood eased.
Pei Chongyuan hadn’t run outside like this for a while. He had been complaining about Jiang Xi’s school all the way, and the car had to be parked in the parking lot near the school gate, not allowed to drive in. However, the damn activity center was very far from the school gate. He was anxious, running all the way in the freezing cold, and almost tripped several times.
He hadn’t been in such a mess for many years.
‘Sorry, Xiaoxi,’ Pei Chongyuan apologised as soon as he saw the person, “it was really congested.”
After he had finished speaking, he saw Jiang Xi wearing a jacket and carrying a schoolbag, and his heart sank, thinking that things were not good.
Sure enough, Jiang Xi said, “My performance is over.”
He looked at Pei Chongyuan and looked the other person straight in the eye: “Three minutes ago.”
Pei Chongyuan let out a long sigh, feeling extremely annoyed.
‘Xiao Xi, I really…’ Pei Chongyuan helplessly patted his forehead and said, “It’s my fault. I won’t find any reasons or excuses to explain it to you, I apologise.”
Jiang Xi frowned slightly.
He frowned only because he didn’t expect Pei Chongyuan to be so nice as to apologise directly, without even finding an excuse, leaving him unable to find a reason to get angry.
But in Pei Chongyuan’s eyes, he only thought that he was angry because of his lateness.
There were a lot of people around, and Pei Chongyuan wanted to hug him to appease him, but knew he couldn’t.
He asked, ‘Can we go?’
‘No!’
Jiang Xi hadn’t even spoken yet, and the student union boy spoke first.
‘The school has a rule that you can’t leave the party before it ends.’
Jiang Xi glared at him and took Pei Chongyuan’s wrist, saying without regard, ‘Let’s go.’
The two were just about to walk out when the boy came over again to stop them.
Jiang Xi looked at the other person with a cold face, and just as he was about to say something, Pei Chongyuan interrupted.
Pei Chongyuan said to Jiang Xi, ‘No matter what, we still have to follow the rules. We don’t have anything else to do, so let’s go in and have a look.’
Jiang Xi actually had no interest in this so-called party at all, but since Pei Chongyuan had spoken, he nodded.
The two returned to the activity centre. Pei Chongyuan spoke to Jiang Xi with a smile on his face, but Jiang Xi kept his face set in a scowl and wouldn’t look at him.
The male student union member at the door rolled his eyes, muttered something, and slammed the door shut again.
This was their college’s party, and all departments and classes had to attend. A skit was being performed on stage at the moment, which wasn’t very interesting, but the audience was surprisingly cooperative and occasionally burst into laughter.
Jiang Xi led Pei Chongyuan further inside. When they were about to reach his class, he hesitated for a moment, but in the end, he didn’t take him there. Instead, he turned to the back, where there was no more open space for the audience, far from the stage.
Behind the two of them was a window sill, from which they could see the open campus outside.
Pei Chongyuan’s thoughts were not on the party, which meant even less to him. He was just feeling guilty for missing Jiang Xi’s performance, and wanted to make up for it by spending some time with him here.
Jiang Xi leaned against the radiator behind him, his hands resting on it, and stared into the distance at the stage.
‘Xiao Xi,’
Pei Chongyuan’s voice made Jiang Xi suddenly tense up.
He finally realised that he could never be angry with this person. No matter how bad-tempered he was, he could never lose his temper when he saw Pei Chongyuan.
Was there really a counterbalance for everything?
Jiang Xi felt a little strange. He didn’t know if this was good or bad.
“I’m really sorry today,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I know that this performance is very important to you, and I should have come out earlier.’
His tone was sincere, so sincere that it was even a little humble.
Jiang Xi couldn’t bear to see him like this. He should be arrogant and full of energy, and even in their tender moments together, he should be forceful and gentle.
As soon as Pei Chongyuan bowed his head and admitted his fault, Jiang Xi immediately softened.
He didn’t know what possessed him, but he just couldn’t resist Pei Chongyuan.
‘It’s not that important,‘ Jiang Xi said, “it’s just a small performance at school, it doesn’t matter.”
He said so, but Pei Chongyuan knew what was going on.
’Anyway, I was wrong in this matter, you are unhappy, you can hit me or scold me.”
The place where the two stood was very dark, and if you didn’t look at them deliberately, no one would pay attention to here.
Pei Chongyuan’s hand reached over and covered the back of Jiang Xi’s hand.
‘Punish me,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “however you like.”
Jiang Xi felt the temperature of the other person’s palm, but did not move or speak.
Pei Chongyuan knew in his heart that Jiang Xi would not do anything extreme as a “punishment” to him. What kind of tricks could a young boy pull?
’Brother Pei,‘ after a long while, Jiang Xi said, “I am a little upset.”
’Well, you should be. It was my fault.’
‘But I don’t need your apology,‘ Jiang Xi said. “Some people hang apologies on their lips, but never mean them. I don’t need that kind of apology.”
’Xiao Xi, do you think I’m that kind of person?‘
’I don’t know,‘ Jiang Xi said. “I don’t know you.”
Pei Chongyuan smiled wryly, “So in your eyes I’m a stranger.”
’No,’ Jiang Xi shook his hand with him, the two of them clasping their fingers in the dim corner. ’I don’t know you, but that doesn’t affect my relationship with you. You don’t need to apologise to me, because it’s pointless. I don’t care what happened before.‘
Pei Chongyuan smiled uncontrollably and embraced Jiang Xi anyway.
But the embrace was short-lived, and neither of them wanted to be discovered.
Pei Chongyuan said, “Baby, I’ve remembered, and I won’t do it again in the future.”
’Don’t call me that.‘
’No way.’ Pei Chongyuan laughed and raised his hand to scratch his nose. ’You’re my baby, and I’m not allowed to say that?’
Jiang Xi felt embarrassed. He still couldn’t handle this kind of conversation.
He turned around and continued to look at the stage.
Pei Chongyuan looked there with him, and then said with a smile, ‘Although you said no, I think there should still be a punishment.’
‘What?’
‘How about punishing me by not letting me touch you for a week?’
Jiang Xi frowned, and after a while, whispered, ‘No.’

Chapter 20: Suspicious
Pei Chongyuan was like a glutton, addicted to the new sensations Jiang Xi brought him, and Jiang Xi was equally enamoured of the feeling of having Pei Chongyuan by his side.
Pei Chongyuan felt that this was a matter of each taking what they needed.
Jiang Xi felt that this was love.
‘Will you go with me tonight?’ Pei Chongyuan squeezed Jiang Xi’s hand.
“Tonight I…’
‘X, brother!”
Jiang Xi’s words were not finished when Tong Ye ran towards them from afar.
Jiang Xi, startled, quickly withdrew his hand and deliberately took a half step to the side to distance himself from Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan stood still and laughed lightly.
Tong Ye ran over and asked, ’I’ve been looking for you for a long time. What are you doing here?’
After he finished speaking, he saw the man standing next to Jiang Xi.
‘This is my friend,’ Jiang Xi introduced the two of them, ‘Brother Pei.’
Tong Ye obediently said hello, ‘Hello Brother Pei, I’m Jiang Xi’s classmate.’
‘His name is Tong Ye,’ Jiang Xi said, dropping this sentence to Pei Chongyuan, and then asked Tong Ye, ‘Looking for me?’
‘Well, the teacher said that our class is going to take a group photo.’
‘Take it now?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘Shouldn’t it be after it’s over?’
Tong Ye winked at him and said, ‘I guess he knows that everyone will run away if we wait, so he’s taking the photo now while everyone is still here.’
Jiang Xi didn’t like group activities, including taking photos, but he couldn’t refuse this kind of thing.
‘Let’s go,’ Jiang Xi said to Pei Chongyuan, ‘will you go ahead or wait for me?’
‘I’ll wait for you,’ Pei Chongyuan smiled at him, ‘I’ll be right here, I’m not going anywhere.’
Jiang Xi looked back at him, and was truly pierced to the heart by these words.
He smiled, his nose running as he laughed, without saying a word, he turned and followed Tong Ye.
I’ll be right here.
I’m not going anywhere.
It’s fine, your father and I will both be here when you come back, don’t be afraid.
Jiang Xi didn’t even dare to look back as he followed Tong Ye forward, he was afraid that if he looked back, he would find that Pei Chongyuan had lied, just like those two people.
Gather.
Take a photo.
It didn’t take long to take a group photo of the class of 30 people.
Jiang Xi didn’t say a word in the crowd, letting him move to the left or right as he wished.
From where he stood, he couldn’t see the place where he had just been standing and chatting with Pei Chongyuan, and even if he could, he wouldn’t dare.
Pei Chongyuan’s words were like an unsolved mystery, and the answer would only be revealed at the last moment.
After the group photo was taken, Tong Ye pulled Jiang Xi to plot an escape, saying that it would be more fun to go out for a drink and some skewers than to stay here and watch the party.
Jiang Xi asked, ‘Who’s coming?’
‘Just the two of us,’ Tong Ye said, ‘those other guys have all got dates or prospective dates, I’m on my own.’
Jiang Xi thought about it for a moment, and he hesitated.
‘Brother Xi, you’re not going to abandon me too, are you?’ Tong Ye complained, ‘I’d be so miserable!’
Jiang Xi looked at him like this and raised his hand to hook his neck and said, ‘Let’s go, but there may be one other person besides the two of us.’
‘Just now, Brother Pei?’ Tong Ye let Jiang Xi hug him as the two of them swayed back and forth, ‘He’s handsome!’
Tong Ye and Jiang Xi have known each other since high school, but they didn’t become friends until college. In this new world, the two of them are considered confidants, a kind of relationship where they can even tell each other about their sexual orientation.
It’s strange to say, but they both have the same sexual orientation and like men. Logically, the two handsome guys should be able to develop a sweet campus romance, but they didn’t. The two gays are just like straight guys who are friends, and neither has ever had any evil intentions towards the other.
Tong Ye had just met Pei Chongyuan once, and the impression was very deep, because at a glance, he knew that he was not from their school.
That outfit, that temperament, he could not be a student, let alone a teacher here.
What’s the word for it?
A career elite.
That was Tong Ye’s first impression of Pei Chongyuan.
‘What kind of person is he?’ Tong Ye asked curiously.
Jiang Xi just smiled and didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. He just answered, ‘A friend.’
As the two of them walked over there, Jiang Xi was actually very uneasy.
From the outside, he appeared to be a cold and somewhat unfeeling person, the kind of person who would kill an enemy on the battlefield and remain expressionless even when splattered with the enemy’s blood.
In fact, however, he had his own weaknesses, and quite a few of them.
He was nervous, afraid that Pei Chongyuan would no longer be there when they got there.
Could it be a trick?
Jiang Xi felt his palms sweating.
“Hey?’
When Jiang Xi and Tong Ye went over, they found that the place where Pei Chongyuan had just been standing was empty, with no trace of the other person.
It was like a long-awaited birthday present that had gone missing, like proposing with a big bouquet of roses only to find that your lover had accepted someone else’s invitation.
In the freezing cold, a bucket of bone-chilling cold water poured down mercilessly, teaching Jiang Xi to open his eyes and see the real world clearly.
His bones were trembling with cold, and his teeth were chattering.
Tong Ye noticed Jiang Xi’s unusual behaviour and turned to him, asking, ‘Brother Xi, what’s wrong?’
Jiang Xi could not speak, just staring at the spot.
It really was a liar, and liars do not deserve to be forgiven again and again.
Jiang Xi withdrew his hand from Tong Ye’s shoulder, stood up straight, and said expressionlessly, ‘Let’s go.’
Tong Ye wanted to ask where Brother Pei was, but when he saw that Jiang Xi’s aura was not right and his air pressure seemed to be exceptionally low, he knew that this was a hot-tempered big guy and didn’t say anything, following the others out.
Even now, Tong Ye still remembers how Jiang Xi fought a fight with three people by himself in high school. His school uniform was torn and his face was cut, but he still managed to defeat the three punks.
Tong Ye was afraid to mess with someone with such a high level of physical strength.
After a few steps, Tong Ye heard someone shouting from behind.
Jiang Xi was startled and looked back to find Pei Chongyuan walking quickly towards them.
He frowned, his fists clenched, but heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘Why are you leaving while I make a phone call?’
Upon hearing this, Tong Ye was amused, ‘Brother Pei, you went to make a phone call? Brother Xi thought you had left!’
Seeing Jiang Xi’s obviously displeased expression, Pei Chongyuan sighed and quickly admitted his mistake: ‘I’m sorry, I just got a call from the company. It was too noisy here, so I went over there to take it.’
While he was talking, his eyes were always looking at Jiang Xi. This was an explanation to Jiang Xi, and Jiang Xi was the only one he was waiting for a response from.
Jiang Xi’s back remained straight, and he was full of things he wanted to say, but because Tong Ye was there, he couldn’t say a word.
He didn’t know if Pei Chongyuan had done it on purpose, and if he had, he would really resent him.
‘Xiao Xi, are you angry?’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, ‘Really, I’m sorry, why don’t you check my phone call time.’
With that, Pei Chongyuan handed over his phone.
Tong Ye looked at the two of them and felt that the relationship seemed a bit delicate. He looked at Jiang Xi and then heard the person next to him say, ‘Tong Ye and I are going out to dinner, are you coming?’
Tong Ye felt a little awkward about this. In fact, he had forced himself between the two of them, and now it seemed that Pei Chongyuan had become an outsider.
He was about to explain something, but Jiang Xi had already raised his hand again and hoisted him by the neck, dragging him out of the way.
Jiang Xi threw a word at Pei Chongyuan: ‘BBQ.’
Tong Ye was dragged backwards, and the whole thing was very comical.
He watched Pei Chongyuan smile at Jiang Xi’s back, a smile that was a little helpless and a little indulgent.
There was definitely something fishy going on.
Tong Ye believed in his own judgment, that these two were definitely up to something.
Pei Chongyuan followed behind, and when the three of them slipped out of the activity centre unnoticed by the student union staff, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I know a good barbecue restaurant, my treat today.’
Jiang Xi’s anger had not subsided, and he turned his head and looked at him coldly.
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘Why is this kid so angry with me?’
Tong Yanxin said to himself: He’s actually like this with everyone, young and with a bad temper.
‘We’ll go to the one across from the school, it’s pretty good,’ Jiang Xi ignored Pei Chongyuan and grabbed the innocent Tong Ye and continued walking.
Pei Chongyuan went around to the other side of him and secretly went to hold his hand.
Jiang Xi struggled a bit, but it was still held.
But Pei Chongyuan knew that Jiang Xi didn’t want outsiders to know about their relationship, so he just held his hand for a moment and then let go.
He said with some grievance, ‘I’ve really failed today. I’ve caused you trouble several times.’
Tong Ye didn’t see the two holding hands, but he glanced at them in the corner of his eye.
Were they in love?
Or was this guy after Jiang Xi?
Tong Ye’s gossiping spirit began to burn fiercely.
Jiang Xi could not stand Pei Chongyuan showing weakness the most. Standing out in the cold, his mind cleared a little and he slowly regained his senses. He felt that he really could not blame Pei Chongyuan for what had just happened.
He suddenly realised that he seemed to be making endless concessions. Pei Chongyuan could give a reasonable explanation for anything, and then admit his mistake in a good manner, leaving him with no outlet for his energy and no place to vent his anger.
Jiang Xi didn’t want to be unreasonable, but he hoped Pei Chongyuan would understand that some promises meant a lot to him.
The three of them walked towards the school gate. As they passed the parking lot, Jiang Xi suddenly asked, ‘Is your car parked over here?’
Pei Chongyuan quickly took out the keys and said, ‘It’s right in front.’
Jiang Xi looked at him and said, ‘Pei, you’re buying.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘I’ll buy, as long as you’re not angry, I’ll do whatever you want.’

Chapter 21: Idealism
Pei Chongyuan always knew how to cheer people up. For him, admitting fault and apologising was not a difficult thing to do. On the contrary, taking a step back could often avoid a lot of trouble.
What’s more, in front of these children, there was no need for him to be tough. What did he have to argue with a child about? That would only make him look childish.
As the saying goes, you shouldn’t hit someone who is smiling at you.
Jiang Xi saw that Pei Chongyuan was like this, and he was completely unruffled.
The three of them got into the car. Pei Chongyuan sat in the front, and Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment before following Tong Ye and sitting in the back.
Tong Ye and his friends were students who received financial support from their families. Although they liked to go out and have fun, eat and drink, and occasionally play games together, their activities were mostly confined to the vicinity of the school. And the area around the school was basically full of ordinary small shops, where prices were not too high and set with the spending power of students in mind.
But Pei Chongyuan was different.
He drove the two students for twenty minutes or so and stopped at a luxuriously decorated barbecue restaurant.
When Pei Chongyuan pulled over, Tong Ye said, ‘Pei, you’re too polite!’
Tong Ye knew this restaurant, or rather, everyone knew it. It was one of the best barbecue restaurants in the area, and the food was delicious, but it was also really expensive.
In any case, ordinary students would not come here. Pei Chongyuan smiled and glanced at Jiang Xi in the rearview mirror.
‘Brother Pei is treating, of course I have to take you to the best,’ Pei Chongyuan parked the car, unbuckled his seat belt, and turned back with a smile, “let’s go, tonight we can eat as much as we want, don’t hold back on me.”
Jiang Xi didn’t react in any way, but Tong Ye, with a heartless smile, said as he got out of the car, “Brother Pei, don’t worry, I definitely won’t hold back!”
Jiang Xi and Tong Ye walked behind Pei Chongyuan, and the three of them entered the restaurant.
At this time of day, the barbecue restaurant was doing a roaring trade, and there were quite a few people waiting for a table.
Jiang Xi looked around and didn’t really want to wait.
Unexpectedly, after Pei Chongyuan made a phone call, the manager took them straight up to the third floor.
It was just like that again.
Jiang Xi remembered that when they were at the hospital before, Pei Chongyuan also made a phone call and they were given the green light.
As he walked upstairs, Jiang Xi looked down and saw the guests waiting for a table. He felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t that he was being a saintly martyr, but he just felt that sometimes exercising privileges was really a bit shameful. If he were one of those people sitting in the waiting area, he would probably have cursed and left.
They arrived at the third floor private room and the three of them sat down.
Jiang Xi still had a knot in his stomach, so he glanced at Pei Chongyuan, who was ordering the food, and then got up and said, ‘I’m going to the bathroom for a bit.’
Pei Chongyuan understood what he meant at a glance, handed the menu to Tong Ye and said with a smile, ‘Tong Ye, take a look and order whatever you like. I’m going to the bathroom too.’
The two came out one after the other and went into the bathroom one after the other.
‘Still angry?’
As soon as Pei Chongyuan went in, he saw Jiang Xi standing in the smoking area smoking. He quickly walked over and embraced the other person from behind.
Jiang Xi tried to break free, but when he couldn’t, he simply let go and let Pei Chongyuan hold him.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said, exhaling a puff of smoke, ‘I don’t really like this.’
‘Huh? What?’
‘Maybe I still can’t get used to your style of doing things, but…’ Jiang Xi frowned and took another puff, ‘I don’t like it.’
Pei Chongyuan understood, and then laughed.
‘Can I have one too?”
Jiang Xi looked at him and took out a cigarette from his pocket and handed it to him.
Pei Chongyuan took out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, and then leaned over and used Jiang Xi’s cigarette to light it directly. The two were in an ambiguous position, and from a certain angle, it looked like they were kissing.
Pei Chongyuan took a drag on his cigarette, exhaled a smoke ring, and smiled as he looked at Jiang Xi.
‘So that’s what you’re sulking about,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “When I was your age, I felt exactly the same way. I found such behaviour disgusting. What’s the point of having special privileges and being given the green light?”
Jiang Xi looked at him, smoking and not saying a word.
Pei Chongyuan raised his hand and gently ran it through Jiang Xi’s short, tangled hair, patiently explaining, ’But slowly you’ll understand that when we were in our twenties, we were living an idealistic life, while society was a pragmatic and realistic place. If we try to change the world on our own, we won’t be able to do anything. We don’t have the energy. So in the end, we just have to learn to go with the flow.”
Jiang Xi wanted to say something, but Pei Chongyuan interrupted him: “Xixi, do you know why I like you?”
Jiang Xi was taken aback. His fingers trembled slightly, shaking off a small handful of ash.
He was gripped to the core by Pei Chongyuan’s words. This person was saying that he liked him in a straightforward, honest and serious way.
‘Because it’s pure.’ Pei Chongyuan looked at Jiang Xi through the smoke exhaled. The boy in front of him was tall and thin, with a white complexion but not delicate, a sharp outline and fierce eyes. He was indeed different from his previous prey.
Having raised kittens for a long time, Pei Chongyuan now had the thrill of being a beast trainer when he met a growing young leopard.
In the past, those people would have been even more pleased and proud of him because he could take shortcuts through connections when doing various things, but Jiang Xi had reacted very differently to them for the same reason.
This was really more than interesting.
‘Xiao Xi, I see in you the edges and corners that I have completely worn away,’ Pei Chongyuan’s fingers stroked Jiang Xi’s face, ‘I am willing and honoured to protect your idealism.’
He leaned in, kissed Jiang Xi’s lips lightly, took a drag on his cigarette, and said with a smile, ‘As you wish, in the future…at least in front of you, I won’t do that anymore.’
Jiang Xi felt his lips burn; it was the first time they had kissed outside.
He softly responded with a ‘good,’ then raised his hand with a burning palm and took a drag on his cigarette as well.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, and the more he looked at him, the more he liked him.
Compared to Jiang Xi, he really is abominable. His youthful enthusiasm pales in comparison to the other person’s smooth and worldly demeanour.
Jiang Xi looked down as the cigarette burned. He was suddenly embraced and a little dazed.
Pei Chongyuan laughed in his ear and whispered, ‘You really are a treasure.’
Jiang Xi had a really good time at this meal. All the unpleasant knots in his heart were untied with Pei Chongyuan’s cooperation. While they were eating, Pei Chongyuan chatted with Tong Ye. Even though the two had met for the first time and each lived in circles with no intersection, the whole time was relaxed and enjoyable because of Pei Chongyuan’s good conversation.
Jiang Xi sat next to Tong Ye and said very little, but occasionally he would be amused by what they were talking about.
He rarely had this kind of conversation with Pei Chongyuan. From campus life to bar gossip, the two never let the meal get cold.
Jiang Xi was very happy that his best friend and lover could get along so well. He thought, maybe he could tell Tong Ye the real relationship between him and Pei Chongyuan.
As the three were walking out after eating and drinking their fill, Tong Ye suddenly mentioned tonight’s performance.
‘Brother Pei, did you see it?‘ Tong Ye was still a little excited when he talked about it. “We were quite nervous, but I didn’t expect it to have such a good effect!”
Pei Chongyuan looked at Jiang Xi with a guilty conscience.
’I wrote the music for the song, and Brother Xi wrote the lyrics,’ Tong Ye asked, “what do you think?”
Pei Chongyuan said a little embarrassed, “I got stuck in traffic, and you had already finished performing by the time I arrived.”
Tong Ye awkwardly stretched out his voice, ’Ah… I see…’
‘Well, that’s a bit of a pity.’ Pei Chongyuan really felt sorry about it. He was very annoyed and blamed himself. Today’s event might become a permanent regret.
Jiang Xi was performing on stage for the first time, singing a song he had written himself. This kind of opportunity is irreversible. Every performance on stage in the future, even if it is brilliant, will not be the first time.
Tong Ye sensed the subtle atmosphere between the two men and understood that Pei Chongyuan had come to see Jiang Xi perform, but had ended up being late.
‘It’s fine, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to go on stage together in the future,’ Tong Ye tried to lighten the mood, ‘right, Brother Xi?’
Jiang Xi nodded and then pushed open the door and walked out: ‘Yes.’
Tong Ye looked at Pei Chongyuan and shrugged helplessly.
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘He’s having a fight with me.’
‘I can see that,’ Tong Ye muttered. ‘Brother Xi has such a temper, no one can do anything about him.’
The two followed Jiang Xi out, and Pei Chongyuan said, ‘What’s the name of your band?’
‘Guns and Dogs,’ Tong Ye explained. ‘Guns and Roses is a band we all like, but then we also feel that we’re all quite dog-like.’
Pei Chongyuan was amused by his answer and laughed: ‘That’s good, you guys have a good sense of self-deprecation.’
‘Not bad,’ Tong Ye also laughed, ‘Brother Pei, do you have a favourite band?’
‘Yes,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at Jiang Xi’s back and said with a smile, ‘Guns N’ Roses.’

Chapter 22: Love and fear
Pei Chongyuan always knew how to make Jiang Xi happy. His words alone caused Jiang Xi to turn his back on them and smile.
Winter nights are cold. When he smiled, the cold wind entered his mouth through the slightly open mouth and continued further inside. However, no matter how cold the wind was, it could not cool his heart. The cold air had not yet reached his heart, but it had already been warmed by Jiang Xi himself.
Tong Ye also had the most to say on the way back to school. He sat in the back and chatted with Pei Chongyuan for a while, then with Jiang Xi for a while, and even talked about things from their high school days.
Back in high school, he and Jiang Xi knew each other, but they didn’t know each other. However, they were well aware of each other’s exploits.
Tong Ye was telling Pei Chongyuan about a fight that Jiang Xi got into in high school, and Pei laughed. When the light turned red, he looked back at Jiang Xi and said, ‘I didn’t realise you were such a hothead.’
Jiang Xi looked at him without saying anything, and then turned his head and looked out the window.
‘Brother Xi, back then, well, not just back then,’ Tong Ye said, ‘he’s still popular wherever he goes. He’s good-looking, there’s nothing he can do about it.’
Pei Chongyuan had been listening to Tong Ye’s praise of Jiang Xi all the way, and had taken every word to heart.
They walked them to the school gate. Originally, Jiang Xi had wanted to go with Pei Chongyuan tonight, but since Tong Ye was there, he didn’t want to do that, so he pretended to follow as Tong Ye and Pei Chongyuan said their goodbyes.
The two walked towards the dormitory building in the cold wind. Tong Ye said, ‘Brother Xi, this older brother is chasing you, right?’
Jiang Xi’s heart trembled, and for a moment he didn’t know what to say.
He had planned to confess to Tong Ye, to tell him about his relationship with Pei Chongyuan. After all, he only had one friend, and he didn’t want to have secrets with Tong Ye.
But for some reason, when the words were on the tip of his tongue, Jiang Xi couldn’t say them. He always felt uneasy, as if the two of them were in a haze, as if they could see each other but couldn’t hold on to each other.
He decided to wait until their relationship with Pei Chongyuan stabilised.
Jiang Xi thought, ‘Everything has only just begun. What a joke it would be if it ended today and tomorrow.’
‘Friend,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘We haven’t known each other long.’
It was true that they hadn’t known each other long. They had gone to bed after meeting just a few times, and Jiang Xi had easily given his heart.
Sometimes Jiang Xi himself found it incredible that falling in love with someone could be so easy.
Pei Chongyuan gave him a complex of feelings: on the one hand, it was an unstable relationship, and on the other hand, it was a reassuring embrace. Jiang Xi was apprehensive about the uncertainty Pei Chongyuan brought him, while at the same time obsessed with the sense of security the other person handed to him from time to time.
It was erratic.
Now Jiang Xi felt that this was the case between them.
‘Friends…’ Tong Ye was a little disappointed, ‘I think you two are quite ambiguous.’
Jiang Xi jokingly said, ‘What about you and me?’
Tong Ye laughed a few times, put his arm around Jiang Xi’s neck and said, ‘Then he definitely can’t compare to the two of us!’
Jiang Xi followed Tong Ye back to the dormitory building. It was already past ten o’clock. The two were not in the same dormitory. Tong Ye arrived first and waved his hand, saying to Jiang Xi, ‘Young people, don’t stay up late.’
Jiang Xi watched him push the door open and enter the room, then continue walking in the direction of his dormitory. However, after taking a few steps, he stopped.
He looked at the window on the other side of the corridor, and an inexplicable thought welled up in his heart.
A few seconds later, he took two steps back, suddenly turned around, and ran downstairs.
Jiang Xi ran all the way from the dormitory to the school gate. In fact, he wasn’t sure if Pei Chongyuan would be waiting there, but he just took a chance.
The street lamps at the school stared at Jiang Xi, watching the handsome young man run towards the gate with long strides, like a young leopard hunting its prey, with a clear goal and a determined look in his eyes.
He passed the dormitory building, which was already preparing to lock the door, passed the swing buried in the snow, passed the rarely visited back mountain, and then passed the school gate, where he saw the car parked by the roadside.
In the car, there was a man smoking.
Jiang Xi stood at the school gate, panting, looking at the familiar car. He didn’t expect that Pei Chongyuan really hadn’t left.
Pei Chongyuan, who was smoking, didn’t really expect Jiang Xi to come back to him either. He just somehow didn’t want to leave, so he stayed a little longer and smoked a cigarette.
He leaned back in his chair and smoked. When he looked up in the rearview mirror, he saw someone standing diagonally behind the car.
Pei Chongyuan was taken aback and thought he was mistaken. He quickly turned around and saw Jiang Xi walking towards him.
For the two of them, this moment was an unexpected gift.
Pei Chongyuan immediately extinguished his cigarette and unbuckled his seat belt before getting out of the car.
The two were surprised to see each other and couldn’t hide their smiles.
There were very few cars passing through the university campus entrance late at night. Pei Chongyuan stood there with his arms open, and Jiang Xi rushed towards him without any hesitation, embracing him.
Pei Chongyuan leaned over and whispered in his ear, ‘Why did you come back?’
“I forgot to tell you something,’
‘Huh?‘ Pei Chongyuan laughed, “What? You can’t say it over the phone?”
’I forgot to say goodnight to you.‘ Jiang Xi also laughed softly, then broke free from Pei Chongyuan’s embrace, “Forget it, no excuses, I just wanted to come back and see if you were still here.”
’I already said I wasn’t going anywhere,’ as if to make amends, Pei Chongyuan said while straightening Jiang Xi’s clothes, ’This time I’ll keep my word, right?’
The man’s actions struck a chord in Jiang Xi’s heart, and he had no way to resist.
‘My dormitory is locked,’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, then opened the car door for him: ‘Get in, go home.’
Jiang Xi smiled contentedly, sat down, fastened his seat belt, and waited for Pei Chongyuan to get in.
The two drove to Pei Chongyuan’s house in silence until they parked the car. Jiang Xi pulled Pei Chongyuan over and couldn’t wait to kiss him in the car.
Jiang Xi had complaints today, but they completely disappeared when he saw that Pei Chongyuan hadn’t left. All his unease was replaced by sweetness and contentment as Pei Chongyuan filled him up.
Pei Chongyuan was really willing to wait for him, unlike those two people, who treated all their promises to him like smoke rings they exhaled, which dispersed with a wave of their hands.
That night, when Jiang Xi longed to make love to Pei Chongyuan in the car, he finally understood why he couldn’t get Pei Chongyuan out of his mind after just a few meetings.
The warmth from the adult world was something he had longed for since childhood but never been able to get.
In those years he didn’t get it, but now he has it all back from Pei Chongyuan.
He likes this man who is ten years older than him, and the other person’s embrace makes him feel at ease.
He is proud, frivolous, and sometimes even a little arrogant, but in front of Pei Chongyuan, he can abandon all of these, just for the other person’s embrace and kiss.
‘Stop it,’ Pei Chongyuan grabbed Jiang Xi’s hands that were causing trouble, ‘it’s not convenient here, go back to the room, I’ll get it ready for you, and do it again.’
Jiang Xi’s hand was tightly gripped by Pei Chongyuan, burning hot, and the heat travelled all the way to his heart.
Pei Chongyuan had always been attentive in this regard, and Jiang Xi never had to do the preparation work himself. He would patiently do it for him, so that he could just enjoy it.
Jiang Xi looked at him, and the man’s deep eyes reflected his own image.
He was in the other person’s eyes, and therefore, should also be in the other person’s heart.
Jiang Xi took his hand out and looked straight at Pei Chongyuan, but the movement of his hand did not stop, unzipping Pei Chongyuan’s trousers.
When he leaned down, Pei Chongyuan was surprised.
From the first day they met, Pei Chongyuan knew that this boy had a strong sense of self-esteem, and someone like this would never easily do such a thing for someone else.
But Jiang Xi, without even asking, took him by surprise, and Pei Chongyuan was shocked.
He wanted to stop.
Over the years, Pei Chongyuan had never refused anyone’s selfless sacrifice, because he knew full well that while the other person was giving, they were also waiting for the next second to take.
The relationship between him and those people was always one of mutual benefit; they were always profitable for each other.
But Jiang Xi was the only one he could sense who was not seeking any favours from him.
Pei Chongyuan suddenly felt a little panicked, because Jiang Xi’s actions made him feel that the boy was taking things too seriously.
He likes serious people, but he is afraid of being too serious.
‘Xiao Xi!’ Pei Chongyuan reached out to push his shoulder, but was grabbed by Jiang Xi.
In the dim and small car, Jiang Xi looked up at him.
That gaze made Pei Chongyuan’s heart race, and for the first time in his life, he was both in love and afraid.
He suddenly didn’t know who was the cheetah and who was the prey being captured.

Chapter 23 I love you
Everyone encounters things in life that make them afraid.
For Jiang Xi, it was the fear of losing someone important.
For Pei Chongyuan, it was the fear of getting involved with someone.
Over the years, Pei Chongyuan has been so comfortable in this circle that he has never failed to get the girl he likes. And every time they part ways smoothly afterwards, it makes him feel confident and capable of handling every relationship like this.
Even when he first started getting to know Jiang Xi, he just felt like he was taking on a new role—the animal trainer of a young cheetah.
He was confident that he could successfully train the unruly young cheetah to at least obey him.
But now, he wasn’t so sure.
What’s even scarier is that he was worried that one day the young cheetah would turn on him and he would become the other person’s prey.
This worry was not unfounded. Every day and every moment he spent with Jiang Xi felt like a step closer to danger.
Pei Chongyuan began to feel conflicted.
Jiang Xi, on the other hand, had bowed his head so low for the first time in his life, abandoning the dignity he had always valued, and in this way ‘pleasing’ someone.
Jiang Xi did not feel aggrieved or forced, on the contrary, he was extremely content.
As he listened to Pei Chongyuan’s gradually heavier breathing, he felt the man’s longing and need for him.
A missing piece of his heart was filled, and Jiang Xi closed his eyes, enjoying this unique moment.
No one counted how long they had stayed in the car like this. By the time Pei Chongyuan came back to his senses, Jiang Xi was making a face and staring blankly.
He quickly took out a wet wipe and, without having time to tidy up the mess in front of him, went over to Jiang Xi as soon as possible to wipe his face.
Jiang Xi let him fiddle with him expressionlessly, with tears overflowing from the corners of his mouth and eyes.
After wiping them away, Pei Chongyuan rubbed his lips with his fingers with some tenderness, saying helplessly, ‘Xiao Xi, I didn’t want you to do this.’
Jiang Xi understood that Pei Chongyuan would never force him to do anything, and at most would hint or guide him in a roundabout way.
But tonight, it really had nothing to do with Pei Chongyuan.
He was just voluntarily tormenting himself.
Jiang Xi felt that he would probably never do this for anyone else in his life, and Pei Chongyuan was the only one and the last.
He looked at Pei Chongyuan’s face, which was close at hand, and the words that the annoying guys had said to him in the past flashed through his mind.
You are unwanted.
Your parents don’t want you anymore.
You are a wild child.
Back then, Jiang Xi was still young, and all he could do was bite his teeth and hold back his tears as he retorted: It’s me who doesn’t want them anymore.
But now, he could stand upright and say, ‘Someone wants me, I don’t need them anymore.’
Jiang Xi leaned over and hugged Pei Chongyuan. He sniffed greedily at the faint perfume on the other’s body, his lips brushing against the other’s ear, and whispered, ‘Brother Pei, I love you.’
The young boy’s confession was direct and passionate.
The words ‘I love you’ were like a ball of fire in the scorching sun, burning Pei Chongyuan’s heart.
Pei Chongyuan stroked Jiang Xi’s back, sensing that the boy was in an unusual mood. He softened his voice and asked him, ‘Xixi, did something happen today?’
Today, he was the one who got into trouble first. Pei Chongyuan knew this, and he promised Jiang Xi that he would go to the performance, even though he was late. After that, Jiang Xi seemed to have let go of the matter, but he was still in an unusual mood.
Pei Chongyuan felt that the boy must be hiding something.
He wasn’t interested in listening to other people’s stories. Telling stories was no more pleasurable than having sex, and they were both adults, so they weren’t getting together to share their emotions.
But he rarely wanted to hear Jiang Xi talk. He always felt that when Jiang Xi looked at him, it was as if he was looking at someone else through him.
Someone else, or another world.
Jiang Xi just leaned over his shoulder, closed his eyes, and seemed to fall asleep, avoiding all conversation.
Pei Chongyuan could do nothing about him, so he patted him and said, ‘If you don’t want to talk, just don’t. I’ll clean up and go home to sleep.’
Go home.
Jiang Xi let go of him, got up and sat down, then glanced at Pei Chongyuan’s pants, which he had unbuttoned, reached over and helped him tidy them up.
When they got off the bus, Jiang Xi followed Pei Chongyuan into the house, holding a dirty wet wipe in his hand and not saying a word.
Jiang Xi was listless, so Pei Chongyuan simply took care of him like a real child.
He took off his shoes again, changed his clothes, tidied up everything, put his arm around Jiang Xi’s shoulders and led him to the bathroom door: ‘Do you want me to wash you up?’
Jiang Xi looked at him, shook his head and walked in.
When he was brushing his teeth, he saw Pei Chongyuan come in, so he stood behind him, stretched out his arm and went around him to pick up the toothbrush that was lying on the side.
They stood side by side in front of the sink. The two men in the mirror were wearing the same home clothes, using the same toothbrushes, and even their toothbrushing movements were surprisingly consistent.
Pei Chongyuan looked at Jiang Xi in the mirror and smiled, and his smile reached Jiang Xi’s heart.
Pei Chongyuan, who had taken off his shirt and western-style trousers, looked a little younger. Before, he always made Jiang Xi feel that he was very deep-minded, but every night before falling asleep, this person was like taking off a mask, becoming harmless.
Jiang Xi liked this Pei Chongyuan even more, and he felt more at ease.
After the two brushed their teeth, Jiang Xi washed his face first, while Pei Chongyuan stood by his side and held the towel for him.
While Jiang Xi wiped his face, he peeked at Pei Chongyuan, who was bending over to wash his face. The water droplets splashed on the front of his pajamas, making him look exceptionally sexy.
After wiping his face, Jiang Xi embraced Pei Chongyuan from behind. The other person laughed softly and didn’t say anything.
When Pei Chongyuan finished washing his face, Jiang Xi let him go directly and turned around to help him wipe his face.
Pei Chongyuan joked, ‘You’re acting like I can’t take care of myself.’
‘Not yet,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘but you’re aging before me, and when you’re old, I’ll wipe your face like this too.’
This was supposed to be a touching line of sweet nothings, and Jiang Xi said it sincerely, but Pei Chongyuan didn’t know how to respond when he heard it.
So, all they could do was hug and kiss. Then, in a state of confusion, they threw away the towel and went into the bedroom, embracing and kissing.
Pei Chongyuan woke up in the morning and didn’t see Jiang Xi. He felt the empty space next to him, which had already cooled, and understood that the other person had already been up for a while.
He sat up in bed and saw that the pajamas he had casually thrown on the carpet the night before were nicely hung on the rack by the window. He reached out and took them, put them on, stretched, and walked out of the room.
Pei Chongyuan had thought that Jiang Xi, who had got up early, might be preparing breakfast for them to eat together, but when he went downstairs and made a big circle, he couldn’t find anyone.
‘Brother Pei,’
After a while, Pei Chongyuan sat on the sofa, lost in thought, when he heard the sliding door on the first floor leading to the backyard open, followed by Jiang Xi’s voice.
Jiang Xi was in his pajamas, wrapped in a coat, and was cold from being outside when he returned from the backyard.
Pei Chongyuan pulled him over and rubbed his hands for him, ‘It’s so cold, what were you doing outside?’
Jiang Xi had a strong smell of smoke on him, and he didn’t know how many cigarettes he had smoked.
‘The air was pretty good this morning,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘It’s very quiet here.’
‘Yes, it’s quiet,’ Pei Chongyuan told him, ‘I installed this house more than three years ago, and I moved in six months ago. No one else has moved in nearby yet.’
Pei Chongyuan lives in a villa area on the outskirts of the city. Although it is not the best property in the area, it is quite good.
The price per square metre of a villa is often not too high, but the total price is high because the square footage is so large. After factoring in the miscellaneous expenses such as subsequent renovations and property management fees, those who can move in are considered to be in fairly good condition.
Jiang Xi looked outside, a little lost in thought.
‘You haven’t been in a good mood the past couple of days,’ Pei Chongyuan said, squeezing his hand. “The semester is almost over, and you’re going back home as soon as you finish your exams? Can you spare a few days for me and take me somewhere?”
Jiang Xi looked away from the window and back at Pei Chongyuan, smiling. ’Sure, I’ll give you three days. Where do you want to take me?’
‘Only three days?‘ Pei Chongyuan raised his hand and scratched his nose, “stingy!”
’Just three days,‘ Jiang Xi said, “if you don’t want to, forget it.”
’Don’t forget it! Three days is fine,’ Pei Chongyuan said helplessly, ’I’ll do whatever you want, little master.’

Chapter 24: An impromptu check-in
Jiang Xi took Pei Chongyuan’s promise to spend three days with him to heart, and throughout the final exam review period, he didn’t feel tired at all.
In order to prepare for the exams, Jiang Xi didn’t see Pei Chongyuan much during that period. It also happened to be the end of the year, and Pei Chongyuan had a lot of work at his company, so the two of them kept in touch every day by phone and text.
After class, Jiang Xi would go to the library with Tong Ye to write the papers they needed to write and memorise the things they needed to memorise.
Tong Ye sighed every day, but he actually felt that the days were not too bad, apart from the fact that he did miss Pei Chongyuan a little.
Pei Chongyuan, who was busy with work, had not forgotten about his long-legged boy. He travelled on business, attended meetings, participated in bidding processes and attended various banquets. Every time he finished a task, he would send a message to Jiang Xi as soon as possible to ask what the other person was doing.
They hadn’t seen each other for almost half a month, and Pei Chongyuan missed him so much that he really felt a bit worried.
This was the first time he had been so concerned about someone.
This made him feel a bit uneasy himself. Pei Chongyuan didn’t like the feeling of things being out of his control, but emotions really couldn’t be controlled. Jiang Xi was too attractive to him.
A cold and hard young man, you might think he’s unfeeling, but in fact, his heart is warmer than anyone else’s.
Pei Chongyuan has been so tired these days that his head falls on the pillow and he falls asleep. But once he dreams of Jiang Xi, he can’t hold back even in his sleep, and is forced to get up and relieve himself.
The body never lies, and it is only when you fall in love with someone that you can’t control these kinds of situations.
Pei Chongyuan has tried to withdraw his feelings from Jiang Xi during these past two weeks. After all, not seeing each other is the perfect time to cool down the relationship.
However, he failed. When Jiang Xi called, all he heard was the child’s cry of ‘Brother Pei’. One minute he was still yelling at his staff, and the next minute he was laughing peacefully.
What could he do?
Let’s just be affectionate for now.
On the last day of the year, Pei Chongyuan had planned to spend New Year’s Eve with Jiang Xi. After all, this was Jiang Xi’s first year away from home, and being alone in a foreign place, he would definitely miss home, and as his lover, he should take good care of him.
The two of them were going to spend the New Year together, and then New Year’s Day. Pei Chongyuan had even chosen a restaurant.
However, due to some unexpected emergency, he had to go on a business trip.
Before going to the airport, Pei Chongyuan went to Jiang Xi’s school. He really couldn’t take it anymore. It had been half a month since they last met, and just hearing her voice was too hard. It was like a homeless person looking at the delicious-smelling meat through a glass window, making people feel heart-wrenching.
Pei Chongyuan went to the airport without his car, deliberately two hours early, took a taxi, and got off at the conservatory.
He walked into the school gate with his suitcase, swaying slowly, and didn’t walk far before he saw Jiang Xi running towards him.
Jiang Xi had just come out of the library, and because he was in a hurry, he wasn’t wearing a jacket, just a white sweater, which made Pei Chongyuan feel cold just looking at him.
‘What’s this about?’ Pei Chongyuan said to him, ‘Why aren’t you wearing a coat?’
‘I’m in a hurry,’ Jiang Xi said, panting, “Why didn’t you tell me in advance?”
Pei Chongyuan laughed: “Do you understand a surprise inspection? I’m here to do a surprise inspection to see if you’re getting a little boyfriend at school behind my back.”
Jiang Xi snorted at what he said, saying, “I don’t like the same as me,” while reaching out to help Pei Chongyuan carry the suitcase.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t let him touch the suitcase, but took his hand instead.
There were not many people on campus at the moment, and no one could see the two of them holding hands.
Pei Chongyuan did not hold her hand for long, for fear that someone would pass by and cause Jiang Xi embarrassment.
‘Going to the library?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I can keep you company for a while.’
He glanced at his watch: ‘I’ll leave in an hour and a half.’
Jiang Xi was delighted to hear this and led the way to the library.
‘You have some heavy dark circles under your eyes,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, taking a close look at him. “Is revision tiring?”
’It’s the final exams, there’s nothing I can do.‘
’Well, just hang in there, that’s how we all got through it,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “After the exams, get some rest for a few days and you’ll feel better.”
The two entered the library, and Jiang Xi said, “Tong Ye is upstairs.”
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and smiled, ’I’ll leave it to you.’
Jiang Xi took his suitcase and stored it in the locker outside the reading room on the first floor, then said, ‘Let’s go to the fifth floor. It’s an open reading room, where everyone goes to study.’
They could chat over there.
Jiang Xi took Pei Chongyuan upstairs. It was crowded when they got into the elevator, and they were pushed to the very back.
Pei Chongyuan leaned against the far corner of the elevator, and Jiang Xi glanced back at him before leaning back.
Pei Chongyuan, who was behind her, smiled. He lifted his hand and lightly supported Jiang Xi’s waist, and the two of them pressed close together.
In this small, crowded space, no one paid any attention to them. Jiang Xi leaned against Pei Chongyuan with peace of mind, with an imperceptible smile on the corner of her mouth.
It was still very crowded on the fifth floor. At the end of the semester, even people like Jiang Xi and Tong Ye, who had never been to the library even a few times throughout the semester, had made this their base camp.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Follow me.’
Pei Chongyuan followed him, continuing up the stairs at the corner of the fifth floor.
The library has six floors in total, but the students’ activity area ends on the fifth floor. The sixth floor is the archives, and the elevator does not go to the sixth floor.
Jiang Xi took Pei Chongyuan to the sixth floor, turned a corner, and looked up to see the bathroom.
He pushed the door open and Pei Chongyuan followed closely behind.
The toilets on this floor were almost never used, so they were clean. The windows were not sealed properly, and the temperature was lower than downstairs.
As soon as they entered, Jiang Xi glanced into each cubicle, but there was no one there.
He turned around and locked the toilet door, then pulled Pei Chongyuan close and kissed him.
Pei Chongyuan liked his initiative, like that of a little wild animal. He was obviously inexperienced, but he insisted on acting tough.
The two kissed passionately in the unoccupied bathroom. It had only been half a month since they last saw each other, but it felt like they had been apart for several autumns.
Jiang Xi had little experience after all, and soon became aroused, looking at Pei Chongyuan with a pleading frown.
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Do you really want to do it here?’
Jiang Xi felt embarrassed and turned his head to wash his face.
Pei Chongyuan stood to one side, pulled out a tissue and waited to wipe his face for him, saying to him, ‘I can’t bear to let you do it with me in this kind of place. If we’re going to do it, let’s do it comfortably.’
After Jiang Xi finished washing, he straightened up and let Pei Chongyuan wipe the cool water off his face for him.
He said, ‘It’s been a long time.’
‘What? You want it?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed at him, ‘You really are young, how long did it take before you couldn’t stand it?’
Jiang Xi’s ears turned red, and he didn’t even look at Pei Chongyuan.
‘I have to go away for a week. When I come back, will you have finished your exams?’
‘I’ll be there until mid-January,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘It’ll be more than a week after you come back.’
‘That’s fine,’ Pei Chongyuan said, hugging him and kissing his face lightly. ‘I’ll come and find you as soon as I get off the plane. I have to quench your thirst first, anyway, or I don’t think you’ll be able to concentrate on your exams.’
Jiang Xi’s heart was beating fast.
When he couldn’t see Pei Chongyuan, he felt fine, just missing this person a lot, and not having so many other thoughts. But once they met, he couldn’t control himself at all, and he wanted to drag the person to a hotel room right now.
He didn’t know whether Pei Chongyuan was deliberately hanging onto him or what was going on, but Jiang Xi was so uncomfortable that he couldn’t stand it anymore. The two of them didn’t do anything, just hid here for more than an hour, kissing, trying to quench their thirst for love in every way they could. In the end, Pei Chongyuan really couldn’t stand Jiang Xi’s persistence, and dragged him into the cubicle, ending up getting a handful of it.
‘You really are…’ Pei Chongyuan smiled helplessly, ‘I really need to discipline you more strictly.’
‘Why?’ Jiang Xi bowed his head and wiped his hand for him.
‘With such a strong desire, if there’s ever a time when I’m busy and can’t meet with you, you’ll be desperate to find someone else, won’t you?”
Jiang Xi frowned at him, his eyes like knives as he said, “I’m not that kind of person.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed, “I’m afraid someone else will seduce you.”
He put his arms around Jiang Xi and kissed him. As their ears and cheeks rubbed against each other, he said, “Xiao Xi, do you know that I’m actually quite scared?”
Jiang Xi was taken aback and asked, ’Why?’
‘You’re too young, too pretty, and too special,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “I always feel like I can’t hold on to you.”
When Jiang Xi heard this, her heart ached and her throat tightened.
Pei Chongyuan was the first person to say this to him.
’Am I special?‘ Jiang Xi asked.
’Don’t you think so?’ Pei Chongyuan’s fingers gently squeezed the back of Jiang Xi’s neck.
‘I’m nothing special,’ Jiang Xi said softly, resting her chin on Pei Chongyuan’s shoulder. “Brother Pei, did you miss me?”
Pei Chongyuan listened as Jiang Xi’s voice drifted lightly into his ears, tickling the tip of his heart.
His hand explored along the back of Jiang Xi’s neck, and then he rubbed it hard and said, “I missed you.”
The author has something to say: I turned thirty today! I’m a mature teenager (x)!

Chapter 25: Backfire
Pei Chongyuan’s words, ‘I miss you,’ came from the bottom of his heart, from the bottom of his soul. It sounded like a sigh, more than a sigh.
He really had no choice. He could lie to others, but not to himself. After not seeing each other for a while, his longing for Jiang Xi was stronger than ever for anyone else.
Had he backfired?
Had he gotten himself involved when scheming against others?
Pei Chongyuan didn’t have the energy to think about that for the time being, so he decided to at least follow his heart for the time being, at least to spend this winter warmly.
The two of them hid in an empty archive, chatting for a while and then kissing.
Pei Chongyuan laughed at Jiang Xi, ‘Have you really been studying hard these past few days? Don’t tell me you’ve been thinking about me.’
Jiang Xi laughed lightly, ‘Don’t flatter yourself, it’s only because you showed up that I remembered who you are.’
He was stubborn, but his heart was as soft as the cotton candy he used to eat as a child. Not only was it soft, it was also sweet.
‘Then I’ll have to hang around in front of you a lot, so you don’t forget me.’
He said that, but when the time came, no matter how reluctant Pei Chongyuan was, he had to go.
‘I had planned to spend the New Year with you,’ Pei Chongyuan dragged his luggage behind him as Jiang Xi walked beside him, ‘I had the restaurant booked, I wanted to surprise you.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘It’s fine, there will be other opportunities in the future.’
When he said the future, Pei Chongyuan’s heart skipped a beat, and he squeezed the suitcase handle even harder, the veins on the back of his hand bulging.
Jiang Xi was oblivious to this and asked Pei Chongyuan, ‘When will you be back?’
‘If nothing unexpected happens, it should be the 5th,’ said Pei Chongyuan, ‘I’ll let you know in advance so you can get ready.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘What do I need to prepare?’
The two looked at each other, and Pei Chongyuan let out a soft laugh, then lifted his hand and stroked Jiang Xi’s hair.
‘It’s grown.’
‘Mm.’ Jiang Xi hadn’t cut his hair in almost a month, and the haircut he’d had, a buzz cut, had grown back.
‘It looks quite good.’
When Jiang Xi had a buzz cut, he looked a little colder, like a sharp knife, exuding an aura of being unfriendly.
However, it was that kind of Jiang Xi that Pei Chongyuan took a fancy to and was abducted by Pei Chongyuan.
Now, the hair has grown a little, and the bangs in front of the forehead have also grown out. Jiang Xi hasn’t taken any special care of it, so it’s a little messy, but the whole person looks a little softer than before.
Jiang Xi lifted his hand and randomly plucked at his hair: ‘I’m going to cut it after the exam.’
‘Well, I’ll go with you then,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “Don’t cut it too short, it’s weirdly cold in winter.”
His words made Jiang Xi laugh, and the two of them stood at the school gate, looking at each other and giggling.
An empty car pulled up, and Pei Chongyuan put the suitcase in the boot and urged Jiang Xi to go back quickly.
’I’ll go back when you’ve left,’ Jiang Xi said. “Have a safe trip, and let me know when you get off the plane.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ’Okay, I’ll let you know.’
The two looked at each other wordlessly for a few seconds, a few short seconds, but full of deep affection.
Pei Chongyuan was a little dazed, feeling as if the two of them were really in a serious relationship, just as he had fantasised when he was young and in love.
He got into the car and said goodbye to Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan sat in the back seat, leaned over to the side, and saw Jiang Xi standing there, smoking and waving goodbye to him in the outside rearview mirror.
He was tall and had long legs. He had one hand in his overcoat pocket, and the wind quickly scattered the exhaled smoke, leaving no trace.
Jiang Xi’s fingers were tingling from the cold, but he didn’t start walking back until the car carrying Pei Chongyuan had turned the corner and he could no longer see it.
The man’s appearance was like a whirlwind, so fierce that it made Jiang Xi unable to calm down for a while.
Pei Chongyuan was extremely busy on a business trip. As soon as he landed, he immediately called his partner. After the communication was over, he picked up his luggage and walked out. Fortunately, he remembered what he had promised Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan reported his safety to Jiang Xi. When he went out, he saw a rather handsome boy holding a sign to greet him.
‘Hello, Pei Chongyuan.”
The other person was fair and clean-looking, not very tall, wearing a pair of thin-rimmed glasses. The whole person looked like a weak and feeble student, almost like the reincarnation of Ning Caichen.
In the past, Pei Chongyuan couldn’t help but fall for this type, the little white rabbit, so easy to handle.
The other person saw him and quickly greeted him politely, then introduced himself, “Hello, Mr. Pei, Mr. Xiang asked me to pick you up.”
Pei Chongyuan smiled, ’Okay, let’s go.’
The other person seemed a little flustered, obviously a newcomer who had only been at work for a short time and was doing something like connecting the machine for the first time.
‘What’s your name?’
‘Xiang Ran.’
Pei Chongyuan pondered the name for a moment and got the gist of it.
Under the leadership of Xiang Ran, Pei Chongyuan first went to the hotel to put down his luggage, and after a brief tidy up, he set off to meet with General Manager Xiang.
At the end of the year, all the hustle and bustle is for next year’s business.
In the business world, people wear masks and smile fake smiles every day, saying flattery that no one will take seriously, and they are exhausted both mentally and physically.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t return to the hotel until after 12 o’clock at night, reeking of alcohol.
He met with General Xiang in the afternoon, and in the evening, it was inevitable that there would be a drinking party.
The glasses and wine cups were passed around, and Pei Chongyuan felt light-headed from drinking.
Although he knew that he had drunk a bit too much, Pei Chongyuan kept on holding up at the party. No one but himself knew that he was about to collapse.
The drinking party finally ended, and Xiang Ran, who had not drunk any alcohol, was ordered to escort Pei Chongyuan back to the hotel.
If this was the old Pei Chongyuan, there was no reason why he would not eat the rabbit meat that had been delivered to the door.
But this time, as soon as the two arrived at the hotel, Pei Chongyuan got out of the car directly, thanked him and went upstairs by himself.
Xiang Ran sat in the car and looked at Pei Chongyuan’s back, frowning and thinking, ‘Have I completed the task?’
Pei Chongyuan had no other thoughts. He had just seen in the car that the time had passed midnight, which meant that the turn of the year had passed.
He had originally thought that even if he couldn’t spend the turn of the year with Jiang Xi, at least the two of them could have a phone call, but it had been delayed and missed as a result.
He collapsed as soon as he returned to the hotel room, lying there, dizzy.
He checked his phone and, regardless of the time or whether Jiang Xi was in the dormitory and whether it was convenient or not, he directly dialed the phone number.
Jiang Xi was also awake at this time. The dormitory had already turned off the lights, but a group of young men were still up, messing around with the charging desk lamps, saying that they would stay up until dawn to welcome the new year.
Hearing the phone ring, Jiang Xi immediately went over to get it. When he saw that it was Pei Chongyuan calling, he turned around and left the dormitory.
‘Brother Pei,‘ Jiang Xi answered softly.
’Xiao Xi…‘ Pei Chongyuan was drunk. After hearing Jiang Xi’s voice, he put his hand directly on his belt and, while talking, unfastened it.
’You just went back to the hotel?‘
’Happy New Year.’ Pei Chongyuan’s hand reached into his pants, “Xiao Xi, Happy New Year.”
Jiang Xi smiled, ’Happy New Year.’
He had actually been waiting for Pei Chongyuan’s call for a long time, and had also sent a message to the other person at midnight, but the person had never responded.
Jiang Xi was originally a little worried, but now that he heard the other person’s voice, he finally let out a sigh of relief.
The drunkenness on the other end of the line was obvious, and Jiang Xi didn’t say much, just listened.
He heard Pei Chongyuan gradually become heavier and heavier breathing, and heard the other person say, ‘Xiaoxi, say something…’
Jiang Xi had a guess as to what the person was doing, but he didn’t dare to be sure.
He looked around. There were other people in the corridor, people from the dormitories, and no one was sleeping on New Year’s Eve.
He thought about it for a while, then turned a corner and went into the bathroom, finding an unoccupied stall and going in.
‘What are you doing?’ Jiang Xi asked.
Pei Chongyuan laughed at the sound of his voice, continuing his movements with his eyes closed: ‘What do you think?’
Jiang Xi licked his lips, a little restless himself.
He imagined what Pei Chongyuan looked like at the moment, and realised that the other person only wanted to have sex with him after drinking too much, and he felt an unusual sense of satisfaction.
Jiang Xi swallowed, closed his eyes, and let his thoughts become confused, as his reason flew up to the heavens.
He said into the phone, ‘Brother Pei, do you miss me?’
‘Little rascal…you know the answer to that question.’
Jiang Xi knew the answer, and he just wanted to hear Pei Chongyuan say that he missed him.
“Do you miss me? Answer me.‘
’I miss you,‘ Pei Chongyuan lowered his voice, the longing he felt for the person on the other end of the line had already rushed to the top of his head, “Xixi…help me…”
Hearing Pei Chongyuan say this, with a voice that sounded almost like a plea for him to “help,” Jiang Xi felt like all the pores on his body opened up, and thin sweat occupied his entire body.
’Brother Pei…’ Jiang Xi let out a long sigh.
Sexy, and repressed.
Afraid of being heard, so it was extra stimulating.

Chapter 26: Goodnight
The small window above his head flickered on and off, and the originally dark blue sky exploded with fireworks.
Jiang Xi looked up and felt extremely romantic at the moment.
All the regrets of not being able to spend New Year’s Eve with Pei Chongyuan were made up for. He listened to the man’s voice, which was tinged with the smell of alcohol and desire, and heard him call out his name with the most primitive instinct when his reason faded. Jiang Xi believed that Pei Chongyuan loved him.
Love is wonderful, it can save the world.
I don’t know how long it took, when Jiang Xi’s hands were covered in filth and he had recovered his attention from the fireworks outside the window, there was no more movement on the other end of the phone.
The call continued, Pei Chongyuan must have fallen asleep.
Jiang Xi laughed, then whispered into the phone, ‘Brother Pei, goodnight.’
Goodnight.
He was reluctant to hang up the phone, so he kept holding the phone until the noisy corridor outside had quietened down and everyone had gradually started to fall asleep. He plugged in the earphones, listened to Pei Chongyuan’s breathing, went back to bed, covered himself up, and went to sleep soundly.
In the silent, dark dormitory, only the screen of Jiang Xi’s mobile phone, placed next to his pillow, emitted a dim light.
The duration of the call increased second by second, just like his heartbeat, just like his love.
Jiang Xi is someone who rarely dreams. In the past, he would often hear Tong Ye’s rambling about the nonsensical or thrilling dreams he had the night before, but he never had any dreams at all.
It’s hard to know whether it’s good or bad to have no dreams.
But that night, Pei Chongyuan, who was far away, entered his dreams, following the phone call that never ended, following the cord of his earphones, and entering his heart and his brain through his ear.
He dreamed that he and Pei Chongyuan were sitting in a car, driving along, not knowing in which direction, but always moving forward.
They didn’t communicate, they didn’t show any emotion, they just drove at full speed, as if they were heading for a new world, or as if they were going to their deaths.
The windows were open, and the strong wind hit them in the face, so that they could hardly keep their eyes open, but they kept looking straight ahead, as if they were fearless.
At the end of the dream, they drove into a white, unknown world, not knowing whether they had broken free or whether the car had been destroyed and they had died.
Jiang Xi suddenly opened his eyes and found that the headphones were still in his ears, but the phone had hung up at some point.
He lay there, recalling the dream, inexplicably feeling a little panicked.
“Brother Xi, good morning in the new year! Are you going to eat?‘ Tong Ye from the dormitory next door came over and knocked on the door in a hurry. This kid never knew when to stop, and seemed to have endless energy. “Are you going to the library later?”
Jiang Xi looked at the time: “I’m not eating. I’ll see you at the library directly. If you get there first, save a seat for me.”
’Okay!’ Tong Ye waved his hand and left.
Jiang Xi yawned and stretched on the bed. He checked his phone and saw that it was out of battery.
He got out of bed with the phone, charged it, and thought about sending Pei Chongyuan a message. Unexpectedly, when he came back from the shower, the phone was on, but it turned out to be out of credit again.
It really was a long-distance call last night.
Jiang Xi smiled, not knowing how things were going over at Pei Chongyuan’s place.
He asked his roommate to help recharge the phone credit, and after the call was restored, he sent Pei Chongyuan a message.
Jiang Xi didn’t dare to call him, for fear that he was busy and couldn’t answer.
He waited for a long time but didn’t get a message from Pei Chongyuan. He guessed that nothing was wrong and packed his things to go to the library.
Pei Chongyuan really didn’t have anything going on. He had just drunk too much the night before, and his phone had automatically disconnected when the battery ran out. When Jiang Xi sent him the message, he was in his hotel room, having gone downstairs to eat.
He remembered clearly what happened last night: how he went back to the hotel, how he said goodbye to Xiang Ran, how he went back to his room and called Jiang Xi, and how he listened to Jiang Xi’s voice while doing it.
Pei Chongyuan himself couldn’t believe that he would do that, that he would listen to the sound on the phone and solve it.
He kept thinking about it while having breakfast, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt uneasy.
Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi are completely different people.
Jiang Xi feels secure in love, but Pei Chongyuan feels the opposite. He feels that when someone falls in love, they are bound hand and foot, and their lives are no longer in their own hands. He feels very uneasy about this.
He must ensure that everything is under his control, whether it is work, life, or the people he meets in life.
But now, it seems to be getting out of control.
After breakfast, Pei Chongyuan went back to his room.
He can take a good rest in the morning, but he still has to attend a meeting in the afternoon.
When he returns to his room, the first thing he does is pick up his phone. When he sees Jiang Xi’s text message, all his worries are temporarily forgotten. All he can do is smile and send Jiang Xi a message in return.
[How was your evening last night?
Jiang Xi received Pei Chongyuan’s text message as soon as he left the dormitory building. He smiled and called him back.
Pei Chongyuan was sitting by the bedside drinking coffee when he leisurely answered the phone.
‘Didn’t go to the library?‘ It was almost ten o’clock, and Pei Chongyuan remembered that when he was a university student, at the end of the semester, he would race against time and rush to the library at six o’clock in the morning.
’On my way,‘ Jiang Xi said. “I hope my phone call didn’t disturb you?”
’No, I just got back from breakfast, so I’m free in the morning,’ Pei Chongyuan asked him. ’Have you eaten?’
Jiang Xi subconsciously wanted to say no, but as the words came to his lips, he suddenly stopped.
‘I’ve already eaten,’ he didn’t want Pei Chongyuan to worry about such things.
‘Well, breakfast is very important, don’t always skip it,’ Pei Chongyuan listened to his voice, remembering the feeling when he was drunk last night, and asked with a smile, ‘How was your night?’
Jiang Xi’s ears instantly turned red.
‘How about you?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘Did you drink a lot yesterday?’
Pei Chongyuan smiled: ‘Well, there’s nothing I can do about it, it’s unavoidable.’
Jiang Xi frowned.
At that moment, he suddenly realised that he and Pei Chongyuan were people living in completely different worlds, and what Pei Chongyuan called ‘unavoidable’ made him feel unable to empathise.
For a student who had just entered university, although he had experienced some things that his peers had not, compared to those who had struggled in society for many years, he was still very naive.
There are many things in this world that Jiang Xi has no way of understanding or being exposed to. All he can do is try to understand Pei Chongyuan as much as possible and not cause trouble for the other person.
‘Can I rest today?’
‘After you go to the library to start studying, I’ll sleep for a while,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile. ‘I don’t know when I fell asleep last night.’
Jiang Xi could hear Pei Chongyuan’s steady breathing in his head again, and he could even imagine what the other person looked like when he was sound asleep.
Because he had slept next to this person many times, suddenly waking up in the middle of the night, staring at the other person with his eyes open for hours, counting the other person’s breathing and watching the other person’s appearance.
‘I don’t know either,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘and then… I fell asleep too.’
Pei Chongyuan took a sip of coffee, looked out the window at the haze, and listened to Jiang Xi’s voice. He felt inexplicably good, not at all feeling dizzy and weak after getting drunk.
He even felt that if Jiang Xi appeared now, he could pull the person into bed and do it until dark.
‘Okay, are we almost there?‘
Jiang Xi was about to step onto the steps outside the library when he heard Pei Chongyuan’s words. He said helplessly, “Do you know how to tell fortunes?”
’What fortune telling,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “I know you.”
I know how long it takes to get from your dormitory to the library, and I know you definitely set the speed deliberately, but it’s about time now.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t say this directly, and he didn’t want to say it either. There was no need to, and saying too much might become a burden.
‘I’m going to go into the building,’ Jiang Xi was a little reluctant, ‘then you rest well.’
‘Well, study hard and wait for me when I get back.’
After hanging up the phone, Pei Chongyuan sat there and drained the coffee in his cup. He looked at the screen of his phone, thinking for a while, and sent Jiang Xi a text message.
[Baby, I miss you.]
Jiang Xi had just switched his phone to vibrate mode, and it was buzzing in his hand. He opened the message, and the words sent by the person followed the vibration of the phone and penetrated his skin along with the feeling of the vibration.
He smiled lightly, didn’t reply, and sent Tong Ye a message asking him which study room he was in.
When he went upstairs, Jiang Xi walked briskly, taking two steps at a time with long strides.
Love is delightful, like a shot of adrenalin, it makes him light and carefree, like walking on clouds.

Chapter 27
The day Pei Chongyuan returned from his business trip, Jiang Xi had an afternoon exam.
He went straight from the airport to the Conservatory of Music, without changing his clothes, eating or even buying a cup of coffee.
He didn’t know what he was feeling, just a sense of urgency.
It was snowing again, and it wasn’t a light snow.
Pei Chongyuan and his friends had just got off the highway when they received the news that it had been closed due to heavy snowfall. He was extremely grateful, because if they had arrived later, they would not have known how long they would have to wait to get back into the city.
It was already past four when Jiang Xi finished his exam, and it was already dark. He and Tong Ye walked out of the exam room and discussed where to go for dinner.
As soon as he turned on his phone, he received a text message. When he opened it, it was from Pei Chongyuan. Jiang Xi called out to Tong Ye, who was half a step ahead of him, ‘I have something to do, so I won’t be eating with you tonight.’
‘Huh?’
Jiang Xi handed his bag to Tong Ye, ‘Take it back to the dormitory for me, I’m leaving first.’
After saying that, Jiang Xi swam through the crowd, finding a gap and running away, leaving Tong Ye standing there, muttering, ‘What’s going on?’
Jiang Xi rushed out of the teaching building, and the flying snowflakes mercilessly found their way into his collar.
Not only his collar, but also his hair, the tip of his nose, and even his eyes looking ahead.
The snowflakes were very cold, and they instantly refreshed Jiang Xi, who had been feeling hot and stuffy in the classroom.
He ran towards the school gate, telling himself that once he got out of the school gate and turned right, he would see Pei Chongyuan in three minutes.
Pei Chongyuan had arrived early, and instead of waiting for Jiang Xi at school, he was at a coffee shop outside.
He ordered a cup of coffee and, after Jiang Xi had messaged him back, ordered Jiang Xi a cup of hot honey pomelo tea.
He leisurely sat by the window on the second floor of the coffee shop, looking out at the snow that was blowing about recklessly. This snow is just like fire and water; it doesn’t know the least bit of compassion for people. The heavy snow has closed down the highways, and the traffic in the city is also gridlocked because of it. It’s beautiful, but it’s also really ruthless.
This winter has seen a lot of snow, each storm being heavy, and the average temperature a few degrees lower than normal.
It’s good to have someone like Jiang Xi to warm your heart in this unusually cold winter.
Jiang Xi came, carrying with her the snow and wind and a full heart of expectation. She took three steps at a time upstairs, not hiding her yearning for Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan had just put down his coffee cup when he heard footsteps near the stairs. He turned his head and looked over, and the two of them smiled at each other.
He waved for Jiang Xi to come over, and Jiang Xi stood there, catching his breath, trying to hide his earlier haste. He walked steadily step by step over to sit opposite Pei Chongyuan.
‘It’s cold outside, isn’t it?’ Pei Chongyuan nudged the warm cup of honey pomelo tea towards Jiang Xi’s hand, ‘Take a break, warm up.’
‘Why did you come back early?‘ The night before, when the two of them were on the phone, Pei Chongyuan said that his flight was the next day. When he got on the plane, Jiang Xi had just finished his exams. He timed it to be ready to pick up the other person.
Unexpectedly, the person came back early, and he didn’t get the chance to make the trip.
’Things were finished early, so of course I had to come back early,’ said Pei Chongyuan. ’There’s still a lot of work waiting for me at the company.’
Jiang Xi held the cup with his lips resting on the rim, but suddenly his movements came to a halt.
He had expected Pei Chongyuan to say that he had returned early because of him, but soon he understood and accepted Pei Chongyuan’s explanation.
‘Besides,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, taking a sip of coffee, ‘there’s still you. If I didn’t come back, you’d probably fail the course.’
Jiang Xi laughed.
‘No,‘ he said stubbornly, “you’re not that important.”
’Really? Then who was it that sent me a message in the middle of the night the day before yesterday, saying that they missed me?‘
Jiang Xi blushed, but his expression did not change in the slightest as he lowered his eyes and drank the honey pomelo tea that Pei Chongyuan had ordered for him.
It was too sweet, but he liked it very much.
’One week until the exams are over?‘
’Mm.’ Jiang Xi was a little distracted, ’actually, there are only three subjects left.’
University exams are like this, the battle lines are drawn out, and sometimes there can be several days between two subjects, which makes people anxious.
‘Going back to the dormitory tonight?’
Pei Chongyuan asked this question deliberately to annoy Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi glanced at him and said in a bad mood, ‘Yes.’
He said he was going back to the dormitory, but after dinner the two of them went straight to Pei Chongyuan’s house. It was less than 8 o’clock, and the two of them had already gone from kissing at the door to the bed in the bedroom.
Jiang Xi said, ‘What do you do on your business trips?’
A student knows very little, especially one like Jiang Xi. His eyes never used to look at another planet.
But now he is curious about Pei Chongyuan’s planet. Not only is he curious about what happens when the two of them are together, but he also wants to know what the other person is busy doing in the world he cannot see.
‘Meetings, socialising, thinking about you,’ Pei Chongyuan picked the metal button on the waistband of Jiang Xi’s jeans, ‘mainly thinking about you.’
Pei Chongyuan was back, and Jiang Xi’s heart, which had been hanging in the balance, also settled.
He didn’t really know what he was worried about, but just the thought that the other person wasn’t in the same city as him, even if it was just a place that could be reached by a flight of just over an hour, made him feel like it was the end of the world.
That night, they fooled around with Pei Chongyuan all night, and the two of them later wrapped themselves in a blanket and sat on the bed smoking, looking at the moonlight outside the window.
It was quiet and peaceful, and Jiang Xi felt that there would never be a better time than that.
In the following week, Pei Chongyuan continued to work, and Jiang Xi continued to study with Tong Ye in the library.
Sometimes when the two of them got tired, they would go to the public area outside to chat for a while. Tong Ye sometimes envied the couples studying together, watching them be so sweet, and couldn’t help but sing ‘Single Love Song’ to himself.
Tong Ye asked Jiang Xi, ‘Brother Xi, are you envious?’
‘No.’ The two of them leaned against the iron railings on the second floor of the library, looking at the people coming and going below.
Jiang Xi really wasn’t jealous because he had Pei Chongyuan.
These past few days, Jiang Xi had been thinking that perhaps he should find an opportunity to tell Tong Ye about it, but he could never find the right moment to bring it up.
He felt bad about keeping something from his best friend.
‘Have you ever liked anyone?’ Jiang Xi asked Tong Ye.
Tong Ye laughed and said, ‘Slash.’
Slash is the guitarist for Guns N’ Roses, Tong Ye’s idol.
Jiang Xi smiled helplessly, “Fuck.”
After the final exam, the last of the annoying finals, Jiang Xi followed Tong Ye and the others to dinner to celebrate.
Everyone was drunk and stumbling, and Jiang Xi, who could hold his drink well, took these people, one by one, and put them into taxis and sent them back to the dormitory.
After dealing with these people, it was already past 10 pm, and the building was about to lock up again.
He called Pei Chongyuan to ask if he could meet him tonight.
Unexpectedly, the phone was answered by someone else, a man with a young voice.
‘Hello, Mr Pei has gone to the bathroom,’ the other person said. ‘Can I call you back when he gets back?’
The voice was pleasant, like the sound of wind through a bamboo forest, and the attitude polite and courteous, which made people feel comfortable.
But the prerequisite was that Jiang Xi was just an ordinary friend of Pei Chongyuan.
From Jiang Xi’s point of view, a young man answering Pei Chongyuan’s phone call was bound to make him think.
Although Jiang Xi had never asked Pei Chongyuan about his past, it didn’t mean he had completely let his guard down.
How could someone who was used to attracting women just let go of his heart so easily?
Jiang Xi said, ‘No, I’ll contact him some other time.’
He hung up the phone, stood by the window in the dormitory corridor, and smoked with the window open.
It had snowed heavily a few days ago, and the temperature had dropped sharply recently.
With temperatures below minus 20 degrees Celsius, Jiang Xi was blowing in the cold wind, and his fingers, which were holding the cigarette, were red with cold.
Before long, Pei Chongyuan’s phone rang.
‘Did you just call me?’
‘Yes, someone else answered.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Last time I went to talk about cooperation, they sent someone over to update the data, let’s have dinner together.’
‘Okay.‘
’You finished the exam today, right?‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow?”
’After you’re done,’ Jiang Xi said, “I’m going to go to bed, and you should go home early too.”
Without waiting for Pei Chongyuan to say more, Jiang Xi hung up the phone.
Pei Chongyuan, who had been hung up on, felt a little helpless. As he put down the phone, Xiang Ran, who was sitting next to him, said with some embarrassment, ’Mr. Pei, I’m really sorry, I’m just used to it.’
Xiang Ran graduated from university last year and came straight to his uncle’s company to work as his assistant.
In order to avoid missing calls, Mr Xiang always tells Xiang Ran to answer the phone for him whenever his phone is out of his sight, take notes, and he will reply to the caller afterwards.
Pei Chongyuan had just gone to the bathroom and forgot to take his phone with him. His phone was next to the cutlery, and when it rang, Xiang Ran answered it habitually.
The moment he picked it up, Xiang Ran suddenly realised that he had made a mistake, but since he had already picked it up, he couldn’t just hang up.
However, when Pei Chongyuan came back and found out what had happened, although he didn’t scold him, his face looked a little bit bad, which made Xiang Ran feel very embarrassed.
‘It’s okay,’ Pei Chongyuan smiled, ‘it’s just a phone call.’
Xiang Ran frowned at him, flustered.
He found that he was quite afraid of this Mr. Pei, who was only five years older than him, but the strong sense of oppression from the other party made him sit here, a little out of breath.
His uncle said that Mr. Pei was a very easy person to get along with, as long as you ‘do what he likes’, everything can be discussed.
Their company has not been doing well in the past two years, so they are counting on this cooperation.
Xiang Ran was not supposed to come here, this is not his job, but Mr. Xiang specifically asked him to come, saying that he knows Mr. Pei’s ways.
Xiang Ran had no idea what kind of approach General Manager Pei had, but he didn’t dare to ask more, so he just had to grit his teeth and come.
He grit his teeth and came, and then grit his teeth even more when he came into contact with this General Manager Pei.
Didn’t he say that he knew General Manager Pei’s approach?
Why did he feel like this person was annoying him?
‘Tomorrow I might not go to the office until the afternoon,’ said Pei Chongyuan, ‘you can liaise with the project leader here first, and if there are any problems, we can discuss them in a meeting when I get there in the afternoon.’
‘Okay, okay,’ Xiang Ran quickly agreed, “You go about your business, I’ll be fine on my end.”
He looked guiltily at the man sitting next to him, who had been typing since the phone call, perhaps texting.
Xiang Ran was anxious when the project manager they were eating with poured him a drink and said with a smile, ’Manager Xiang, you really have worked hard on this trip.’

Chapter 28: Remain composed in the face of temptation
Pei Chongyuan minded it when people touched his phone casually, no matter who they were.
He once had a lover who was quite attentive, who got up in the middle of the night to check his text messages, and was caught in the act by Pei Chongyuan.
That was probably the only lover they parted on bad terms.
Lovers are like this, and Xiang Ran should be no exception.
However, after all, he was a work partner sent by the partner, so even if he was unhappy, he couldn’t let his face show.
At the dinner table, Pei Chongyuan didn’t dare to call Jiang Xi again, so he could only send a text message to explain. He always felt that although Jiang Xi seemed to be unconcerned about everything, she was actually very sensitive.
She was sensitive and held a grudge.
After sending the text message, Pei Chongyuan put down his phone and continued to talk about work at the dinner table. They had been busy all afternoon and only came out to eat at this hour. They were quite hungry, but as a result of this commotion, they lost their appetite.
Jiang Xi did not reply to the message for a long time, and Pei Chongyuan glanced at his phone from time to time, unable to do anything about the boy.
After they finished eating, everyone had a drink, and the assistant called them a designated driver one by one.
Pei Chongyuan was passing by the hotel where Xiang Ran was staying on his way home, so he let him follow along.
Xiang Ran was very self-aware and sat directly behind him.
Pei Chongyuan sat in the passenger seat and chatted with him in an off-and-on manner.
As they talked, he realised that his previous judgement was correct: this Xiang Ran was indeed related to the boss. However, Xiang Ran was a bit of a dullard and didn’t even know that his uncle had sold him.
Pei Chongyuan laughed and gave him a little nudge, saying, ‘Young people who have just graduated should still try their first job at a big company. Big companies have more formal management, and aside from how much you can learn, at least you can get a feel for the workflow and the different styles of people in a formal company.’
Xiang Ran didn’t understand the unspoken meaning behind Pei Chongyuan’s words, and he sighed to himself, ‘Mr. Pei, you’re right, but I really don’t have a good education. I graduated from a particularly ordinary second-tier university, and I studied one of those legendary majors that are oversaturated in the job market. I don’t think I can even get a job at a big company.’
In the past, Pei Chongyuan might have laughed and tried to help find a solution, but now, he really didn’t have the energy.
To be honest, this type of person is the kind he used to like: not very bright, with a hint of naivety, and if you tell him to go east, he won’t even think about going west.
After they really got together, there was no trace of any little temper, and there was still a hint of admiration in the love they shared.
With someone like this, it’s easy to just be a simple lover.
But this kind of thing is like eating: if you eat too much sweet food, you’ll suddenly want to try something salty.
After you’ve finished the salty food, you’ll be eager to try the food sprinkled with ground chilli.
Pei Chongyuan nowadays can’t stop eating spicy food. If you ask him to go back to eating sweet food, it would at most be considered a dessert. If you really want him to eat it as a main meal, he won’t be able to.
He just couldn’t muster the energy.
So, in a relationship, it’s also important to be evenly matched. For Pei Chongyuan, exchanging words with Jiang Xi was much more interesting than just enjoying the respect and admiration.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t bother to say anything else. It’s useless to tell someone who can’t think straight.
Just before Xiang Ran got out of the car, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Don’t blindly trust anyone, whether it’s your boss or a relative. Pay more attention to what people say and do, and think about it. Good night, see you tomorrow.”
Xiang Ran stood in front of the hotel door, dizzy, watching the car drive away.
He pursed his lips, smiled sheepishly, and ran back to the hotel.
Jiang Xi received Pei Chongyuan’s text message, but he didn’t bother to reply.
It was just an explanation that the person who had just answered the phone was a colleague of his.
Jiang Xi turned off his phone with a cold face and went to bed.
Pei Chongyuan called him again when he got home, but was told that the phone was turned off, and he couldn’t help laughing.
Tong Ye was right. Jiang Xi really had a bad temper.
He was also really ruthless. Once he had made up his mind, he would go straight for the jugular.
Pei Chongyuan had no choice but to admit defeat.
Because Jiang Xi ignored him, Pei Chongyuan didn’t sleep well that night either. When he got up in the morning, he checked his phone and saw the message Jiang Xi had sent him at just after six o’clock. He couldn’t hold back and burst out laughing as he sat on the bed.
[The phone automatically shut down because the battery was dead.
He could imagine how Jiang Xi looked when he sent this text message. He probably had a cold face, as if someone owed him money.
He didn’t reply in a hurry.
This kid kept him up last night, and he was worried. He felt light-headed, and he had to string the other person along for a while, so that the guy could also experience what it was like to be worried.
He gave the project team an account yesterday, and today he didn’t go to the office until the afternoon, mainly because he was planning to go to Jiang Xi’s place in the morning, pick him up, have lunch together, comfort him a little, and then settle him in before going back to the office.
It was now 7:30, and he had leisurely taken a shower and made breakfast. It was just after 8 when they had dinner, and after the last mouthful of soup, he called Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi was sitting cross-legged on a chair, playing a game with a cold expression.
His phone rang, and he glanced at it, but didn’t answer.
‘Xige, phone call!’
‘I know,’ Jiang Xi ignored him and continued playing games with his roommate.
Everyone was liberated after finally finishing their exams, and these people got up early in the morning to start playing games.
Jiang Xi was not in the mood, but because he was in a particularly bad mood, he was extra motivated to kill people in the game. His roommate, who was in the same team as him, even joked, ‘I’m completely winning today!’
Jiang Xi vented all his anger at Pei Chongyuan in the game, killing the other player without mercy, and finally feeling a little better.
When the game ended, there were two missed calls.
Jiang Xi took off his headset and exited the game.
‘Brother Xi, you’re not playing anymore?’
‘Yeah,’ Jiang Xi rubbed his neck with his hand and looked down at the screen of his phone, ‘you guys go ahead.’
He got up, took his phone and went out.
‘Why didn’t you answer the phone?‘ Pei Chongyuan asked.
’I was playing games with my roommate and didn’t hear it.‘
Pei Chongyuan smiled, knowing that he had done it on purpose.
’Have you eaten?‘
’No,‘ Jiang Xi said, “I have no appetite.”
Okay, that was also intentional.
’Do you have any plans today? Shall I pick you up?‘
’Something?”
Pei Chongyuan shook his head and smiled: ’Missing you, does that count as something?’
Jiang Xi laughed silently on the other end of the phone, then said with a straight face, ‘Why wouldn’t I believe it?’
‘Are you still angry? Yesterday, that was our partner’s representative, and I’m used to answering the phone for their boss,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘You know me, don’t you?’
‘What do I know?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I don’t know anything.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and said, ‘Ever since I met you, I’ve been a faithful husband.’
“Not a cheating husband?’
‘I don’t want to hear you say that. I’ve drunk too much and all I know is to call you. What do you think?‘
Jiang Xi thought back to that night and finally let out a laugh.
’I’m done playing games,‘ Jiang Xi leaned over the windowsill in the hallway and looked outside, yawning lazily before mentioning it as if it were nothing, “You’ve been pretty busy lately, right? About those three days you mentioned before…”
’When are you going back to your hometown?’
‘It doesn’t matter,‘ Jiang Xi said, not caring about the matter at all. He said, “The school dormitory will be closed in half a month, so I’ll leave before then.”
’Then next week, I’ll take you out to play,‘ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile. “You’re on vacation anyway, so you can stay at my place for now. I’ll be able to see you every day and feel at ease.”
’What are you worried about?’ Jiang Xi said to him. ’Isn’t it you who makes people feel uneasy?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘Hey, do you really think I have no heart? You’re close enough to Tong Ye, and I’m jealous.’
‘Don’t be the first to accuse someone,’ Jiang Xi said with a sneer, ‘Tong Ye and I are just friends.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled: ‘Then my relationship with that person is also just a working relationship.’
“Did I say you had another relationship?’
‘Okay, okay, I’m the villain, let’s not dwell on this.’ Pei Chongyuan conceded defeat, “What do you say? I’ll pick you up later.”
Jiang Xi blew air out the door and laughed as he watched the white mist.
Hearing Pei Chongyuan bow his head and admit his fault, his mood finally improved. He didn’t care about anything else, it was pointless, so he said with a smile, “Okay, how long will it take? I’ll pack my bags.”

Chapter 29: Possessiveness
Since the two of them had confirmed their relationship, Pei Chongyuan had more than once said that Jiang Xi should move in with him.
To be honest, this was a violation of Pei Chongyuan’s own rules. Before Jiang Xi, he never brought a lover home, let alone live with them.
But all that was broken when he and Jiang Xi first started going out.
Since it didn’t start well, he simply abandoned all principles.
Pei Chongyuan liked to sleep with Jiang Xi in his arms, it was comfortable, reassuring, and he slept peacefully.
But Jiang Xi had always been unwilling to do so, and only occasionally stayed over. Now that he had finally reached the end of his vacation, he had finally waited for this little master to relent.
As soon as Jiang Xi agreed, Pei Chongyuan, as if he was afraid that he would regret it, put everything on the back burner and changed his clothes before going to pick up Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi, who had hung up the phone, was in a great mood and whistled his way back to the dormitory.
“Brother Xi, want to play a game?’
‘No, I’m not coming.‘ Jiang Xi put down the phone and took out his suitcase from the closet. “I’ll leave later, you guys have fun.”
’Leaving today?‘ his roommate was surprised. “Aren’t you leaving next week?”
’Well, the schedule was changed at the last minute,‘ Jiang Xi said as he put clothes into the suitcase. “When will our results come out?”
’They said it would be half a month from now,’ his roommate sighed. ’I can’t think about it, if I do I won’t be able to have a good New Year.’
Jiang Xi smiled and didn’t say anything.
When Pei Chongyuan arrived at the conservatory of music, Jiang Xi had already been waiting for him for a while.
He was carrying a suitcase when he met Tong Ye on his way out.
‘Brother Xi is leaving already?’
‘Yes,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I’ll see you after the New Year.’
‘Okay, I’ll see you after the New Year!’ Tong Ye smiled brightly, ‘Have you arranged for rehearsals after the New Year?’
‘Yes,’ the two men gave each other a high five, and Jiang Xi carried his suitcase downstairs.
Pei Chongyuan’s car was parked in the parking lot near the school gate. In order not to be seen by others, he did not go to the dormitory building to look for Jiang Xi.
While standing on the edge of the parking lot smoking, several students passed by, and one of them, a boy with colourful hair, kept glancing over at Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan was actually quite familiar with this kind of look, as he had encountered it many times in bars.
Pei Chongyuan was not afraid of being looked at by others. If you look at me, I will look back.
The boy, who looked like a colourful feather duster, was obviously hiding ulterior motives, winking at Pei Chongyuan, which made Pei Chongyuan want to laugh.
Pei Chongyuan kept standing there smoking, giving him two looks, as if teasing a little chick.
He didn’t take it seriously, but he didn’t expect the ‘little chick’ to take it seriously. He thought Pei Chongyuan was winking at him, and he had already walked past, but then ran back.
‘Brother,‘ the little chicken said in a falsetto voice, “here to see someone at our school?”
Pei Chongyuan took a half-step back. It wasn’t that he was impolite, it was just that the little chicken’s scent was too overpowering.
The cheap perfume made him dizzy.
’Looking for someone.”
Pei Chongyuan’s response was lukewarm, as he looked down at the boy, who was only up to his chin.
‘Little Chicken’ giggled coyly, “Looking for me?”
Pei Chongyuan laughed out loud.
Just then, Jiang Xi dragged his suitcase from afar.
Hearing the sound of the suitcase’s wheels rolling on the ground, Pei Chongyuan turned his head and looked over.
Along with him, the “Little Chicken” like a feather duster also looked over. As soon as the boy looked over, he heard the handsome guy in front of him say, ’Looking for him.’
In that moment, ‘Little Chicken’ understood a Chinese idiom: to feel inferior in the presence of a more capable person.
What can I say? The person who walked over was understated in his clothing and had a calm demeanour. His long legs were so impressive that people couldn’t take their eyes off them.
His flashy attire, which seemed to want to pile on every fashionable element, was in stark contrast to the person’s simple black and white tones. It was so exaggerated that it was a little funny.
It was like…
He looked down at himself and mentally labelled him a ‘clown’.
Since Jiang Xi appeared, Pei Chongyuan’s eyes had never left him.
‘Little Chicken’ looked at him and felt uninspired. He let out a ‘huff’ and turned to leave.
‘Don’t go,’ Jiang Xi called out, walking up quickly to stop him.
‘Little Chicken’ looked back reluctantly, ‘What?’
‘What did you guys talk about?’ Jiang Xi asked directly.
‘What did you talk about?‘ “Little Chicken” rolled his eyes, “You came before we even started, handsome, don’t worry, I couldn’t cut in on you.”
’Little Chicken‘ glanced at Jiang Xi, and was scared by the other person’s knife-like stare, his neck straightening.
’If you can’t compare, that’s fine…’ “Little Chicken” reluctantly pouted and walked away, feeling like a thorn in his back even after walking quite a distance, as if the two were still staring at him and laughing at him.
He looked back secretly and realised that he had been worrying for nothing, as the two people had already gone without a trace.
Pei Chongyuan helped Jiang Xi put the suitcase in the car’s boot, then got into the driver’s seat.
‘I’ve run out of cigarettes,’ Jiang Xi said coldly to Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan quickly handed him some cigarettes and lit one for himself.
Jiang Xi laughed: ‘Pei, you really are…’
‘Huh?‘ Pei Chongyuan cracked the window a little, then slowly started the car while holding a cigarette.
’You have to flirt wherever you go,’ Jiang Xi mercilessly exposed him, “You must really enjoy this feeling, don’t you? You’re not satisfied with just having me, you have to have people show you affection everywhere to feel at ease.”
Although Pei Chongyuan didn’t want to admit it, he had indeed been the kind of person who flirted with everyone.
He has spread his affection like rain and dew to everyone who is interested in him, planting a vast prairie of loneliness, and whenever he feels lonely, any one of them can become his lover.
This situation began to improve only after he met Jiang Xi, mainly because work was so exhausting that it directly turned him into a sexless man.
And then he met Jiang Xi and tasted the delicacies, and no longer had the heart to ponder the homely meals that can be found everywhere.
It’s like, having conquered the king of the jungle, who wants to go hunting for little white rabbits?
‘I really was wronged today,’ Pei Chongyuan explained with a helpless smile, ‘I just stood there, and he came over by himself. I didn’t say anything.’
Jiang Xi also laughed, turned his head and looked out the window, exhaling smoke rings.
As he spoke, his Adam’s apple vibrated up and down, and Pei Chongyuan felt that was the sexiest moment of his life.
“Oh? You mean, you’re very attractive?’
‘I didn’t say that. One should always be humble.”
Jiang Xi laughed lightly and glanced over at him. “When are you going to rein it in a bit?”
First there was the ex-lover, then there was the unidentified “work partner” who dared answer the phone, and today there was the colourful feather duster.
Jiang Xi suddenly felt a little tired.
He had succumbed to Pei Chongyuan’s charm, so he knew there was a kind of fatal attraction about this man, and that this attraction was not just directed at him.
Jiang Xi may seem like a proud and conceited person, but in fact, the self-doubt in his bones can never be erased.
He always believes that Pei Chongyuan loves him, but at the same time, he is uneasy about the other person’s various actions.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I don’t know if you’ve felt this for a long time, but I’m quite possessive.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Yes, I can see that, and I’m quite jealous.’
‘I admit it,‘ Jiang Xi said bluntly. “I don’t want anyone to touch my things, and I get angry if anyone looks at my person even once.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed.
’Wow, that’s pretty harsh.‘
’I’m not joking with you,’ Jiang Xi said, opening the car window and letting the cold wind blow in. ’I lost a lot when I was young, and when I grew up, I told myself that no one could take what was mine, and that anyone who tried would not have a good ending.’
Jiang Xi’s voice was as cold as the winter wind, making Pei Chongyuan frown.
‘Of course, if something that is mine betrays me, even if I can’t bring myself to destroy it, I will throw it away like garbage. The same goes for people.’ Jiang Xi rested his arm on the car window, squinting as he smoked, and said softly, ‘Brother Pei, I am seriously in love with you, but if you let me down, we will probably end up in a big fight.’
He turned to Pei Chongyuan, his eyes twinkling with amusement, and said, ‘Normally, I’m the kind of person who won’t provoke you if you don’t provoke me, but since you’re here, we’ve done what we needed to do, and I’ve loved you as much as I can. Now you’re not feeling well after hearing all this, and you want to leave early. I’m sorry, but it’s too late.’
He shook the ashes off his cigarette and took a drag. ‘Pei, you have no choice but to love me well,’

Chapter 30: The Canary
Young people in love are in love, and when they get serious, they get serious. At that age, love means being single-minded and pure, like a crystal held in both hands, which no one else is allowed to touch.
Jiang Xi is very serious, and Pei Chongyuan can hear it.
This seriousness carries an air of menace, and when Pei Chongyuan hears it, he can’t help but feel a sense of unease.
Pei Chongyuan was a little proud and pleased. Jiang Xi, such an arrogant person, loved him so deeply, which fully satisfied his vanity.
As for the words that seemed so serious to Jiang Xi that they were like a huge tripod, they were not that serious to Pei Chongyuan. He just thought it was like a little boy suffering from puberty sickness, saying something harsh.
Pei Chongyuan laughed and coaxed him, ‘Do you really not trust me? I feel a little aggrieved.’
As soon as he showed weakness, Jiang Xi couldn’t hold back any longer.
But the words that needed to be said were stuck in the back of his throat. Jiang Xi was not the type of person who would swallow his anger.
He turned to Pei and said, ‘Pei, I never want to dwell on your past habits. It’s pointless. It’s just that those are indeed part of the factors I use to judge whether you are reliable. You can’t hide your past, and you can’t erase those colourful traces. I’ll let bygones be bygones, but you can’t flirt with other women in front of me.’
‘…… I’m really being wronged,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “how about this, in the future I’ll wear sunglasses and a mask when I go out, so that no one can see me and I don’t have to look at anyone, is that okay?”
Pei Chongyuan was a little angry at what he had said, and the atmosphere in the car suddenly became a little awkward.
Jiang Xi frowned and smoked, not in a good mood.
He was quite happy to come and meet Pei Chongyuan today with his luggage, and he was finally glad to have survived the end of the semester and be able to spend some time with this person. But seeing this scene made him feel bad.
He tried hard to trust Pei Chongyuan, but this person would give him a shock every now and then, making his heart, which had just settled down, hang in the air again.
This feeling was not good at all.
Jiang Xi didn’t like such excitement.
‘Xiao Xi,’ said Pei Chongyuan, stopping the car at a red light ahead.
Jiang Xi was a little surprised and turned to look at him.
‘I guess I don’t really have much credibility with you,’ Pei Chongyuan laughed self-deprecatingly, ‘if I were you, I wouldn’t trust such a man either.’
Jiang Xi remained silent and took a drag on his cigarette.
‘But people, after living for so many years, always have to take some detours,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘not everyone is that lucky, meeting the perfect partner the first time. Most people just keep trying and waiting, don’t you agree?’
Jiang Xi lowered her eyes, looked at her cigarette, which was about to burn out, and let out a barely audible sigh.
“Let me put it this way. I have had a few experiences that ended without a trace. Since I have had them, out of courtesy and upbringing, I cannot deny them completely. They also spent a very beautiful time with me, but the problem is that none of them were the right one. Compared to my exes, I would rather describe them as “pierside guides”. They led me to you.’ Pei Chongyuan spoke with confidence, ‘I don’t avoid talking to you about the past, and I hope you won’t define me by it. People can’t be defined; you can only feel it with your heart.’
In this regard, Jiang Xi could never argue with Pei Chongyuan.
The other party could always make him bow his head and admit his mistakes.
He didn’t want to argue about it anymore, and it really didn’t make sense.
Jiang Xi stubbed out his cigarette and closed the car window.
‘Brother Pei, you said you needed three days from me. Have you made any plans?‘
Upon hearing this, Pei Chongyuan understood that the previous issue had been resolved.
He liked Jiang Xi’s straightforward approach to things.
He was decisive and didn’t dawdle.
’It’s confidential for now,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, shaking his hand and placing a kiss on the back of it, ’to keep you curious for a while.’
Jiang Xi stayed at Pei Chongyuan’s house for a week, doing nothing.
Pei Chongyuan had been busy at work recently, leaving early in the morning and returning very late at night.
Jiang Xi didn’t want to go out, so most of the time he stayed at home watching movies and sleeping. Occasionally, when he was really bored, he would go out and buy some wine, and come back and write songs while drinking.
These days, he didn’t even go to the bar. Pei Chongyuan said he didn’t feel comfortable letting him go by himself, for fear that someone would pester him and he would get jealous.
Jiang Xi laughed and said he was no fun.
But even though he said that, he was very happy inside.
For so long, it had always been him who was jealous of Pei Chongyuan, but Pei Chongyuan rarely had the chance to be jealous.
The man seemed to be able to let go of everything, never arguing with him about anything, let alone being jealous.
Jiang Xi always felt that way in his heart, and felt a little unfair.
After a week, Jiang Xi just lounged around Pei Chongyuan’s house in this way. Occasionally, he would wait for Pei Chongyuan to come back. If the other person wasn’t too tired, they would hug each other and have a good time. If they were too tired, they would just take a quick shower and go to sleep in each other’s arms.
Life was so peaceful that there wasn’t even the slightest ripple, and Jiang Xi didn’t know whether such a life was good or not.
Occasionally, he would have the illusion that he was Pei Chongyuan’s pet canary, doing nothing every day and waiting for him alone.
One afternoon, he was lying on the sofa watching a movie, the very classic ‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’ that he had seen many times before. He fell asleep while watching it, and when he opened his eyes, Pei Chongyuan was kissing him and caressing him.
Jiang Xi was panting heavily and thought he was dreaming. He looked at the time and, hugging the person on top of him, asked, ‘Why are you home so early today?’
‘It’s over,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘The preliminary content of that project has been completely finalised, so I can just leave the rest to the project manager and his team.’
Pei Chongyuan’s long fingers picked apart the buttons of Jiang Xi’s pajamas: ‘I’m done here, so I’ll come back and keep you company.’
Jiang Xi smiled.
When Pei Chongyuan bit him somewhere, the slight pain that spread through his body made him realise that this was no dream.
He closed his eyes and let Pei Chongyuan set him on fire.
In the background, the movie ended with the heroine lost and disillusioned returning to the cinema, while on the black and white screen the man sang – I seem to have found the happiness I was looking for.
Pei Chongyuan had said three days, but Jiang Xi had been looking forward to it for more than three weeks.
Jiang Xi is, after all, a young child. No matter how cool and mature she tries to be, she is still full of romantic fantasies and expectations about some fragments of love.
Pei Chongyuan can always do things to surprise him and please him. Those romantic tricks that Pei Chongyuan can easily pull off seem extraordinarily novel and precious to Jiang Xi.
Since the two of them have been together, Pei Chongyuan has been busy working, while Jiang Xi has been busy studying for exams.
They get together and spend most of their time doing A.
It was exhilarating, and both were completely addicted to it.
Pei Chongyuan was no stranger to fine dining, but Jiang Xi was like a delicacy laced with poppy husks, and he was addicted to the point where he longed to die between those long legs.
Jiang Xi, on the other hand, was a passionate young man who had just started to experience sex, and every drop of blood in his body was tinged with lust, ready to ignite at any moment.
When these two met, the first thing they could think of was having sex.
But Jiang Xi also understands that if it’s only about X, then it’s not called love, it’s just a PAO friendship in which both parties are satisfying their base desires. He definitely doesn’t admit that this is all there is between himself and Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi, who was originally indulging in it while also being a little concerned, couldn’t help but look forward to it when Pei Chongyuan proposed a ‘three-day date’.
Three days.
They were going to spend it like any ordinary couple.
Pei Chongyuan, for the sake of Jiang Xi, squeezed out three days of vacation at the end of the year. Early in the morning, he took someone out and drove in the car towards the direction of the city.
It was just after six o’clock, before dawn, and Jiang Xi was sitting in the car listening to music and smoking.
He felt that Pei Chongyuan was not so heartless after all. At least at the moment, the car was playing the version of ‘The Price of Love’ by Li Zongsheng that Jiang Xi was listening to when they first met.
Both of them hummed along, looking at the sky that was gradually brightening. Jiang Xi felt as if he were watching the sunrise with Pei Chongyuan.
They drove along the highway all the way out to the countryside. Jiang Xi didn’t ask where they were going or how long it would take to get there. He just gave himself up to Pei Chongyuan and let the other person do whatever they wanted.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Do you remember this song?’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘It was a snowy day.’
It snowed heavily that day, and Pei Chongyuan was called by Kong Xun on the phone to pick up a strange boy and take him to the bar.
Sometimes you really have to believe in fate, to believe that fate, this invisible hand, can turn the tides and change a person’s life.
If that day Jiang Xi hadn’t gone to Kong Xun’s birthday party, if it hadn’t snowed heavily that day, if Jiang Xi had been able to hail a taxi that day, if Pei Chongyuan hadn’t happened to be nearby on business and answered Kong Xun’s phone…
If one of these coincidences had been missing, they would not have met that day.
If they had not met that day, perhaps there would have been no later developments.
Fate had set them on a path, and they could not avoid it.
Pei Chongyuan’s fingers lightly tapped the steering wheel in time to the rhythm. He said, ‘I was quite surprised. I didn’t think a young boy like you would listen to Jonathan Lee’s songs.’
Jiang Xi snorted, ‘Is that considered discrimination? Teenage boys don’t listen to Jonathan Lee’s songs?’
‘I was narrow-minded, and I have to apologise,‘ Pei Chongyuan laughed. “In the past, I always felt that the songs sung by people like Jonathan Lee were all songs for older men. Only people who have experienced something can understand them. Young kids like excitement and passion, like to attack or rebel, and will only find older men boring and tasteless.”
Jiang Xi laughed: “Actually, I’m not that young, and you’re not that old.”
’Yes, the difference between us is just ten years.’
‘…you can’t look at it that way.”
Pei Chongyuan gave him a smile and a look. “So, how should we look at it?”
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, and then said something provocative.
He said, “Look, in bed, don’t we work well together? So, about this age thing, don’t keep calling me a kid.”
Jiang Xi looked at him, reached out and put the cigarette in his mouth. ’Haven’t I done it with you in every position? Haven’t I made you feel good every time?’
Pei Chongyuan smiled with a cigarette in his mouth and cursed under his breath.
‘Fuck,’ he said, ‘Xixi, you’d better stop saying things like that in front of me in the future.’
‘What’s wrong?’
Pei Chongyuan gave him a sideways glance and said, ‘If we weren’t on the highway, I’d definitely pull over and fuck you up.’

Chapter 31: New Year’s gift
Jiang Xi sometimes really liked listening to Pei Chongyuan’s foul language, as if he were throwing a bomb into the ordinary wine, exciting.
He liked this excitement.
For him, life was too boring. If Pei Chongyuan didn’t stimulate him from time to time, he wouldn’t even know the meaning of continuing to live like this.
Jiang Xi picked up his words, leaned lazily back in the chair, and said with a smile, ‘If this wasn’t on the highway, I would definitely make you stop the car immediately and give you a good beating.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, repeatedly savoring Jiang Xi’s words.
Beat you up.
Give you a good beating.
Jiang Xi really wasn’t the type to easily admit defeat, and even in this kind of matter, he wouldn’t feel like he was being treated badly. Instead, he still felt like he was on high ground, proudly demanding.
Okay, that’s exciting.
Pei Chongyuan took his hand and bit it, then ground his teeth together and said like a wolf, ‘Wait, I’ll let you have a good time tonight.’
The car drove for almost three hours, and Jiang Xi later leaned against the passenger seat and fell asleep.
When he was woken up by Pei Chongyuan, he found their car parked in a courtyard.
‘Get off the car,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, kissing his face, ‘I’ll show you what paradise is like.’
Jiang Xi, still half asleep, looked out the window.
‘Come on, get out and take a look,’ Pei Chongyuan said, taking his scarf and tying it for him, patting him on the shoulder and telling him to get out of the car.
It took a while for Jiang Xi to get out of the car, still half asleep.
But as soon as he got out, he froze. He didn’t think Pei Chongyuan would bring him here.
They were on a hill, and although it was winter, the view was open and had a kind of lonely, desolate beauty.
‘What place is this?‘ Jiang Xi looked around. Behind them was a house, only one storey high but surprisingly large.
Pei Chongyuan put his arm around him and laughed, pinching his ear. “My home.”
’Your home?‘
’Well, someone sold the mountain when I was in high school,’ said Pei Chongyuan. ’At the time, our family had a lot of spare money, so my father bought it. When we bought it, there were only a few rooms, and they were pretty run-down, so they renovated them and connected the water and electricity.’
Jiang Xi looked back at the house. It was nicely decorated and you could hardly tell that it had once been ‘dilapidated’.
‘People come here every year to clean the place, but they rarely come to live here,’ Pei Chongyuan asked with a smile, ‘do you want to go in and have a look?’
It was still cold on the mountain, and Jiang Xi had just woken up, so Pei Chongyuan was worried that he might catch a cold.
Jiang Xi followed him into the house and asked, ‘it’s been left unused even though it’s been so well-decorated?’
‘It’s not completely idle,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “My father spent his last few years here. At that time, I was still in college, almost your age. I would come over to keep him company during the holidays, take walks on the mountain, and go fishing. It was pretty nice.”
Jiang Xi had never heard Pei Chongyuan talk about his family.
It was also at this moment that he suddenly realised a problem. He and Pei Chongyuan actually didn’t know each other.
No, to be precise, they only knew each other’s bodies.
Seeing Jiang Xi in a daze, Pei Chongyuan suddenly smiled: ‘That’s right, have I not told you about them? When I was sixteen, my father was diagnosed with cancer. At that time, he had been divorced from my mother for several years, and I had been living with my mother. After he was diagnosed, he gave up treatment and moved to live in the mountains by himself.’
Pei Chongyuan asked him with a smile, ‘You don’t mind, do you? He passed away here.’
Jiang Xi shook his head.
Of course he didn’t mind. He was eager to learn more about Pei Chongyuan.
‘Since my father passed away, this place has been completely deserted,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a hint of sadness in his voice, which sounded a little desolate to Jiang Xi’s ears.
Jiang Xi had always felt that Pei Chongyuan’s life was too noisy, with too many people around and too many voices. He was always worried that one day Pei Chongyuan would lose sight of himself and become unable to hear himself because of all those people and voices.
Until this moment, he suddenly realised that no matter what kind of person he has become in life, the essence of humanity is still loneliness.
Everyone has a vacant space in their heart, hidden away from the cold wind, and you can only see it when they want you to.
Jiang Xi said, ‘But it looks pretty good here now.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘It is pretty good, because after I started working, I renovated the place again, and then I hired someone to clean it every month.’
Pei Chongyuan turned on the air conditioning and then took Jiang Xi’s hand and showed him around the house room by room.
The decor was somewhat quaint, with all the furniture made of solid wood and arranged with care.
On the far east side was the study. The large wooden door was pushed open, and on the left and right were bookshelves filled with books. In front of them were French windows, with sheer curtains hanging lightly, letting in the winter sunlight that fell in dappled patterns on the floor.
There is a large writing desk by the window, on which there are surprisingly ink, brush, paper and ink stone.
‘My father likes these,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’m not a very good writer.’
He walked over and ran his fingers lightly across the surface of the desk.
He had asked someone to clean it yesterday, and the surface was very clean.
Jiang Xi nodded and looked at the books on the shelf again.
‘This study has good sunlight,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile as he pulled back the curtains, ‘and the view from here is also good.’
Jiang Xi came over and stood next to Pei Chongyuan.
‘Do you know what this place is suitable for?’
Jiang Xi asked. ‘What?’
‘Making love,’ Pei Chongyuan laughed at him. ‘When it gets warm in the summer, we can go out into the courtyard and make love without worrying about being seen.’
Wait until summer.
After saying this, Pei Chongyuan himself was stunned.
He clearly only planned to be with Jiang Xi for one winter, so where did summer come from?
Jiang Xi, who knew nothing of his intentions, was moved by his words. Leaning against the table, she looked at him and smiled, and as she watched, her hand rested on the waist of her trousers.
His action was tantamount to an invitation, instantly making Pei Chongyuan too busy to continue his idle musings.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi picked the button on the waistband of his trousers, ‘I really like it here.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled, walked over and unzipped his trousers directly: ‘Okay, then do something to make you like it even more.’
The two of them stood in front of the French windows, Jiang Xi leaning against the table and clutching the curtains. He could turn his head and see the purest winter scenery.
He thought: Maybe this really is a paradise, and if possible, the two of them would come here to spend the rest of their lives together, even if it meant dying.
Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi settled down in this house on the mountain.
The house on the mountain was originally heated by burning firewood, but Pei Chongyuan installed an air conditioner, so there was no need for that hassle.
Pei Chongyuan did put in a lot of effort. He set aside a room and put up a drum set, guitar, bass and electronic keyboard. It wasn’t easy to transport all these things from the city to the mountains.
This level of thoughtfulness and meticulousness was completely aimed at making Jiang Xi happy, and no one could resist.
The place has electricity and running water, but the internet is unstable. Fortunately, neither of them are the type that cannot live without the internet. At most, Pei Chongyuan makes a few more phone calls every day and goes outside to look for a signal everywhere.
Every time Pei Chongyuan calls and there is no signal, Jiang Xi laughs and follows behind him, watching him hold the phone up to his ear looking for a signal. The two of them are dressed in extra layers and don’t care as much about their appearance as usual. They look just like two country bumpkins.
When Pei Chongyuan was not busy with work, he would accompany Jiang Xi to chat, or watch Jiang Xi play various instruments with ease.
Jiang Xi would tell him about his favourite bands and occasionally sing.
‘I’m not a good singer,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘Our band was formed in a bit of a rush, but the choices were still pretty good. The lead singer has a great voice, you should really listen to them sometime.’
Speaking of which, Pei Chongyuan remembered the first performance he missed.
‘Do you have any performance arrangements for next semester?”
Jiang Xi laughed: “What kind of performance arrangements could there be? An unknown student band that no one knows, if there are no activities at school, we simply have nowhere to go.”
Pei Chongyuan pondered for a moment and told him, ’Doesn’t Kong Xun Bar occasionally do live performances? I’ll ask around for you in a while. I also know a few people who run livehouses, it’s not a problem to arrange a few performances.’
‘No.‘ Jiang Xi held the drumsticks and tapped the drum gently. “I don’t want you to owe anyone a favour because of me.”
’How do you know these people haven’t already owed me a favour?’ Pei Chongyuan went over, sat next to him, picked up the drumsticks, and asked him, “Teach me?”
Jiang Xi stood up, told him to sit, and stood behind him: ’Brother Pei, I’m serious. I’m not with you because you can help me.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and smiled, once again feeling that Jiang Xi was being naïve: ‘People can’t be so calculating with each other. There’s always a debt owed. If you always think about not owing people favours, you won’t be able to get many things done. That’s just the reality.’
He looked back and looked up at Jiang Xi and said, ‘Xiao Xi, I’ve said before that I’m willing to protect your idealism, but that’s just the reality. But the good thing is that you don’t have to do this kind of thing. I’ll take care of it. One of us has to step away from idealism in order to live a good life.‘
Jiang Xi looked down at Pei Chongyuan and was speechless for a long time.
Pei Chongyuan laughed, “What? Are you stupid?”
Jiang Xi suddenly leaned over and placed a kiss on Pei Chongyuan’s lips.
’Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi whispered, ’I love you.’
In love, what kind of sacrifice is considered a sacrifice?
What is given and what is sacrificed to be considered love?
Jiang Xi had never been able to figure it out. After all, in the past, he had never expected so-called love, and he had never imagined that one day someone would be willing to give up anything for him.
Who would love someone who couldn’t even love his parents?
That was what Jiang Xi had always thought.
Until he met Pei Chongyuan.
Even though Pei Chongyuan never seemed to say ‘I love you’ as straightforwardly as he did, Jiang Xi was still certain that the man meant it.
From the beginning of uncertainty to the present certainty, although Jiang Xi occasionally sulked and got jealous over the other men, he also knew that Pei Chongyuan would probably never do anything too extreme behind his back.
Jiang Xi felt that those flowers and plants were simply not comparable to himself.
He was both arrogant and inferior at the same time, and sometimes the two states pulled him in different directions, causing him headaches.
‘Come here,’ Pei Chongyuan said, pulling him onto his lap, ‘teach me how to play the drums.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘that won’t work, I’m sitting on your lap, you won’t be able to do it.’
‘Forget it then, I’m not learning,’ Pei Chongyuan kissed the back of Jiang Xi’s neck, ‘holding you is more important.’
Holding you is more important.
You are more important.
Jiang Xi took a deep breath, then leaned back slightly, completely falling into Pei Chongyuan’s arms.
The two of them pressed close together, and before long they began to caress each other. The natural result was that they stripped off their clothes and made love on the carpet.
At that time, Jiang Xi didn’t feel anything was wrong.
He and Pei Chongyuan, they were in love.
It was normal for two people in love to have endless desires for each other.
But later, when he looked back on the relationship, he suddenly realised that the proportion of sex in their relationship was much higher than that of love.
They always felt that they knew themselves, each other, what they wanted, and what the other wanted.
Little did they know that they actually knew nothing, understood nothing.
They were stupid.
Or maybe
he was stupid.
Three days of living in paradise had made Jiang Xi completely relaxed.
There were no Pei Chongyuan’s exes who might appear at any time, and no butterfly-like people who might cling to Pei Chongyuan at any time.
There was only the two of them.
They played the piano and drums, did A, and occasionally talked.
Jiang Xi bit by bit revealed the truth about himself to Pei Chongyuan, but only showed the other person his dazzling side as much as possible.
For example, he wrote a few songs in high school and was bought by a company.
For example, how many confessions he had received over the years, but he had rejected them all.
As for the stories in the grey area, he still kept them well hidden.
Those episodes in life were all cold shots that hit Jiang Xi directly in the temple. The fact that he was still alive was not because he had a high tolerance, but just because he was lucky.
He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t dare to talk about it, he was afraid that Pei Chongyuan would see the grey and dishevelled, ugly self.
Jiang Xi was too proud, and also too inferior.
The former is known to those who know him, and the latter is something no one would believe about him.
Before the two left the house on the hill, Jiang Xi was a little reluctant to leave. He liked it here, too much. No one disturbed him, no worries. During all the time he spent here, he swept away all his previous worries, and no longer worried that Pei Chongyuan would leave him.
The two had lunch at noon and went back to the study to do some A in front of the French windows.
There was no dappled daylight that day, replaced by snow falling silently.
Jiang Xi leaned over the window, palm prints imprinted on the glass, exhaling heavily.
He looked at the thick snow slowly piling up, the ice and snow in front of him, and Pei Chongyuan’s warm body behind him. He was caught in the middle, experiencing the most unrestrained and indescribable joy in the world.
When leaving, Jiang Xi said, ‘Brother Pei, have you brought anyone else here?’
Pei Chongyuan opened the passenger door for him and said with a smile, ‘What do you think?’
These days, Pei Chongyuan has repeatedly made exceptions for Jiang Xi, which he himself finds a little unbelievable.
Pei Chongyuan even feels like he can see himself step by step sinking deeper and deeper into Jiang Xi’s paradise, indulging in it and unable to extricate himself.
He thinks, Jiang Xi is leaving, going back for the New Year, so in the following period, when they can’t see each other, it’s just right for them to calm down a bit.
He would use the next month or so to think about where to go next.
When Jiang Xi returned, spring would be here soon, and that would be a good time to part, when the snow melted and the weather turned warm.
Pei Chongyuan thought so, but when he looked at Jiang Xi, he wanted to crumble her up in his arms.
No matter how well you plan, there are times when you can’t anticipate every eventuality. Pei Chongyuan felt that he had lost control this time.
The road down the mountain was difficult to negotiate. It had snowed, and no one had cleared it, so they had to be careful and go slowly.
Jiang Xi sat there, his hands clutching the seat belt, looking at the snow-covered mountains, and said softly, ‘When we’re old, we’ll come here to retire.’
Pei Chongyuan glanced at him, and because he was distracted, the tyre ran over a stone.
The stone wasn’t big, but because of it, the car body jolted violently, just like Pei Chongyuan’s heart after hearing Jiang Xi’s words.
Every time Jiang Xi talked about the future, Pei Chongyuan would feel a little guilty.
The two of them were startled by the jolt.
Pei Chongyuan reminded Jiang Xi to check that his seat belt was fastened properly, but Jiang Xi said, ‘It’s fine, we’re together anyway.’
“We’re together anyway, so even if something happens, we’ll be together, and it’s fine if we die here.’
Pei Chongyuan reached out helplessly and touched Jiang Xi’s seat belt to make sure it was fastened properly: ‘Don’t get mad at me, the road is difficult today, let me save some worry.’
Jiang Xi laughed: ‘Okay, I won’t get mad at you.’
Jiang Xi just couldn’t bear to leave.
He had enjoyed these three days on the mountain so much, completely away from the hustle and bustle, and no one could disturb them.
Jiang Xi didn’t want to leave, but he knew he had to.
He even began to fantasise about the future, when they would be old, two old men living a reclusive life here, picking chrysanthemums in the east fence and watching the sunset together.
This was the most romantic ending he could think of for him and Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi suddenly laughed when he thought about it, and asked Pei Chongyuan, ‘Brother Pei, when you’re seventy, do you still want to make love with me?’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him helplessly and laughed, ‘What do you think about every day?’
‘I miss you,’ Jiang Xi said bluntly, “I want to have sex with you.”
The heavy snow stopped, but the mountain road was still difficult to traverse.
Halfway down the mountain, Pei Chongyuan stopped the car to rest.
Jiang Xi went up to him and kissed him, and the two of them made love again in the car.
Pei Chongyuan could clearly feel that Jiang Xi’s desire had been very strong these past few days, as if he were a young animal in heat.
He was happy about this, and he had also eaten his fill.
What Pei Chongyuan didn’t know was that Jiang Xi was like this because of the impending parting.
Winter vacation, Spring Festival.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t ask too much, just that Jiang Xi, like most college students, had to go home during the holidays.
And Jiang Xi didn’t say much either, just letting Pei Chongyuan treat him as just another one of those college students.
The car was parked in the snow, on an uninhabited mountainside.
In the car, the two were lingering and affectionate, reluctant to part.
The day after they returned from the mountain, Pei Chongyuan took Jiang Xi to the airport and told him to report his safe arrival after landing.
Jiang Xi smiled and told him, ‘You’re here alone, so you should know what to do.’
‘Who are you trying to scare with that tone?’ Pei Chongyuan pinched his shoulder and said, ‘Okay, go now, the boarding gate is far away, you have to walk for a while.’
Jiang Xi didn’t want to go, so he backed up and kept looking at Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t feel anything, until on the way back, the passenger seat was empty, and no one was there to talk to him and call him Brother Pei. Only then did he suddenly feel a little empty inside, as if half of his home had been moved out.
It turned out that he was used to having someone by his side, and once that person left, he really wouldn’t be able to adapt.
This was the first time Pei Chongyuan had felt this way.
To distract himself from the loneliness, he turned on the stereo and deliberately found the song ‘The Price of Love’ sung by Jonathan Lee.
He thought about the way Jiang Xi looked when they first met: standing in the heavy snow, wearing a thin cotton jacket that had become soaked with snow, a beauty tinged with wintry cold.
He thought about this as he drove along, passed the toll booth and entered the city.
Pei Chongyuan glanced at the time and realised that Jiang Xi’s plane should have taken off by now.
He pulled over, got out of the car and sent a message to Jiang Xi on his mobile phone: ‘Baby, I miss you.’
An airplane roared overhead, and Pei Chongyuan got out of the car and watched it fly away.
He wasn’t sure if it was the same plane that was carrying Jiang Xi, but let’s just say it was. Watching it was like watching Jiang Xi, high up in the sky at tens of thousands of feet, lonely but free.
When he got back in the car, Pei Chongyuan’s phone rang.
Kong Xun called him: ‘What’s keeping you? It’s been a while.’
‘Fuck, you’ve got the fucking nerve to mention it,‘ Kong Xun said. “Since I started seeing you, I’ve been ashamed to see Jiang Xi.”
’What’s wrong? Am I that unappealing to you?”
Kong Xun scolded him: ’What the fuck is wrong with you? I know. Okay, it’s also fucking my fault. I shouldn’t have let you two meet in the first place.’
Kong Xun didn’t think much of it at first, but he met Jiang Xi a while ago, and from what Jiang Xi said, it seemed that they were serious.
Kong Xun knew Pei Chongyuan too well. They had known each other for many years, and this person had never been serious with anyone.
At first, Kong Xun thought that Jiang Xi was just looking for something new and interesting, and playing with Pei Chongyuan. Little did he know that young people really can’t stand teasing, and they got serious in no time.
He thought of Jiang Xi as a friend, even though the two of them were quite a few years apart. But Jiang Xi was quite good, both as a person and as a creator. Now, thinking back, he regretted it.
He was afraid that in the future, Pei Chongyuan would overturn their boat, and even Kong Xun would be blamed.
‘Were you at the store today?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’ll come over tonight.’
“Okay, come on over, buddy, I want to talk to you.’ Kong Xun said, ‘By the way, you said you sent Jiang Xi away? What did he do?’
‘He went home for the New Year,’ Pei Chongyuan lit a cigarette, ‘He’s on winter vacation and went back to his hometown for the New Year.’
Kong Xun laughed and scolded, ‘You’re really not a human being.’
‘What did I do again?’
‘Do you have any plans for the New Year? Otherwise, how could you fool someone away?’
His words made Pei Chongyuan feel uncomfortable: ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Don’t pretend with me, you know what’s going on in Jiang Xi’s family.‘
Pei Chongyuan frowned and asked, “What’s going on in his family?”
’You really don’t know?‘ Kong Xun thought for a moment and felt that it was possible that Jiang Xi had not told Pei Chongyuan about it. These things were written by Jiang Xi on a forum when he was in high school, anonymously in a tree hole. As the forum moderator, Kong Xun could see it, but no one else knew it was him.
’Hurry up and tell me.’ Pei Chongyuan was a little anxious.
‘He’s been on his own since he was eight,’ Kong Xun said. “His parents were having an affair at the time, and he became the one who was superfluous. Neither family wanted to raise him, so he just shut himself away.”
Jiang Xi had never mentioned anything about his family to Pei Chongyuan, and Pei Chongyuan had never asked.
People like Pei Chongyuan know exactly how to maintain a polite and safe distance from others. Even if the two of them are physically close, they should still have some personal space in their spiritual world.
He never pries into anyone’s business, especially not his lover’s.
Jiang Xi must have his reasons for not mentioning it, and Pei Chongyuan didn’t think much of it before, but now, listening to Kong Xun, he could probably understand.
That child is so proud, how could he allow himself to expose his flaws?
Jiang Xi wants perfection.
Pei Chongyuan sat in the car and smoked, then went straight to Kong Xun’s bar.
The bar wasn’t open yet, so Pei Chongyuan stood downstairs and called, ‘Come down and open the door.’
Kong Xun came downstairs grumbling, wearing pyjamas and smoking, squinting at Pei Chongyuan, ‘Aren’t you coming over tonight?’
‘Let’s go inside and talk,’ Pei Chongyuan squeezed in, asking him, ‘Did someone clean out your place?’
It had been a while since he had been here, and the bar was basically the same, but it was a mess.
‘We had a party last night,’ Kong Xun said, ‘You didn’t even fucking answer your phone.’
Last night Pei Chongyuan’s phone was on the side, and he and Jiang Xi did it from the bathroom to the bedroom, so he didn’t have time to answer the phone.
‘I’m talking to you,’ Kong Xun sat down and got him a bottle of wine. ‘What exactly are you thinking?’
Pei Chongyuan still had to go to the company later, so he didn’t touch the bottle of wine.
‘You tell me about Jiang Xi first,’ Pei Chongyuan lit a cigarette, ‘what’s going on in his family?’
‘He used to write on forums himself. Since it was anonymous, he definitely didn’t want people to know it was him,’ Kong Xun said. ’It seems that his parents had him out of wedlock, and they never got married. After he was born, they lived together for a few years, like a real couple, but then Jiang Xi realized that the three of them weren’t even on the same household register.’
Pei Chongyuan exhaled a puff of smoke and tapped his fingers on the table.
‘I don’t remember exactly what happened, but anyway, his parents were quite wealthy and never treated him badly. But children, money alone is useless, you have to give them love.’ Kong Xun glanced at Pei Chongyuan, ‘He lacks love.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at the smoke swirling in front of him and remembered the feeling of Jiang Xi holding him tightly.
No wonder, Jiang Xi’s temperament is a bit unpredictable sometimes.
It seems that he cares about things that others don’t pay much attention to, and he always says things like he won’t give up, but deep down he doesn’t feel secure.
‘Okay, I get it,’ Pei Chongyuan stood up, ‘Do you know where Jiang Xi’s house is?’
‘How would I know!’ Kong Xun scolded, ‘You haven’t had any contact with him for so long and you don’t even know, is that normal?’
‘Go back to bed and sleep.‘ Pei Chongyuan poked Kong Xun’s head and said, “I’m going to work.”
’Wait a minute,‘ Kong Xun called out to him, leaning against the table, wiping his eyes with his hand while saying, “What exactly are your plans with him? Are you going to be like before or are you going to get serious?”
Pei Chongyuan’s cigarette was reduced to a stub, which he squeezed in his hand, burning his fingertips.
’I haven’t thought about it.’
‘What’s there to think about?‘ Kong Xin kicked him, “Do you like him or what?”
Pei Chongyuan stubbed out the cigarette butt in the ashtray nearby and took another pack of cigarettes from the bar.
’I can’t say.‘
’Big brother, you’re fucking seventy years old and you still don’t know what you want?’ Kong Xin said, “The older you get, the more backwards you go.”
Pei Chongyuan really wasn’t going backwards, he felt that he was making progress.
In the past, ever since his sexual awareness had emerged, there had never been a period in which he had seriously considered a long-term relationship.
He had dated quite a few people, from his middle school days to later on, and each relationship had been quite sweet, but none of them had lasted long.
Some had ended because they had grown tired of each other, and some had ended because he had grown tired of them.
They had just broken up, without hesitation or entanglement.
Back then, it seemed as if all of them had reached a consensus – people like them would never be in a long-term relationship.
They were gay, a group of people who had been marginalised by society, and they had to enjoy themselves, while they were still young, and take every opportunity to have a good time.
This truth was told to him by a friend in high school.
The shelf life of homosexuality is very short, and you have to taste it as fresh as possible while it lasts.
Over the years, Pei Chongyuan has believed in this without a doubt, because not only him, but also everyone around him.
Their circle is actually not big, not small, and very chaotic.
Many people, including his current boyfriend’s ex-boyfriend, have had relationships with him.
This kind of thing is very common, and this is the world he lives in.
In this world, there is sincerity, but sincerity is the most worthless and the least lasting.
You can say a lot of sweet nothings, but no one takes them seriously.
People get together to warm each other, to console each other, to take from each other, and then they break up.
Pei Chongyuan has been through all this, and he is acutely aware of it.
He is acutely aware that he has never loved anyone.
That is, until he meets Jiang Xi.
He is not sure whether he has not yet had enough of the novelty or whether he has fallen in love with Jiang Xi like it is inevitable.
The relationship is still too short for him to understand. But at least, he is certain that Jiang Xi is different from the previous lovers who were like ‘warm water bottles’ to him.
Pei Chongyuan stood there smoking, and heard Kong Xun say, ‘Before Jiang Xi met me, he had no contact with this circle at all. I’ll tell you, I sometimes really regret it.’
‘What do you mean?’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him.
‘When you first told me you had feelings for him, I shouldn’t have treated it as if it had nothing to do with me.’ Kong Xun took a hard drag on his cigarette, ‘After all, I grew up watching the kid, and now you’ve ruined him, it makes me feel bad.’
‘Why did you grow up watching him?‘ Pei Chongyuan was unhappy, “Why did I cause you harm?”
’I suddenly had a fucking conscience and felt like an old father towards him,‘ Kong Xun said, “I ran into Jiang Xi the other day, and after he got together with you, he was a different person. Fuck.”
Pei Chongyuan sat back down: “Tell me.”
’Tell me about your mother,’ Kong Xun felt mixed emotions when he thought about it.
He and Pei Chongyuan had been friends for many years, and they were all no good. They never had any pity for the young boy, and each was more ruthless than the other.
But when faced with Jiang Xi, Kong Xun felt guilty, inexplicably guilty.
‘He looks better than before.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘He’s always been good-looking.’
‘Look at your smug face, how does it look so harsh to me?’ Kong Xun said, ‘It’s the spirit that’s different.’
Kong Xun lit a cigarette and opened a bottle of wine.
‘He used to hang out here with me, but he never gave me a smile,’ Kong Xun told Pei Chongyuan. ‘Back then, he spoke to me politely, but he never smiled, let alone at other people.’
Kong Xun took out a cigarette, took a sip of wine, and laughed, saying, ‘This kid, when he used to come here, girls and guys would come asking for phone numbers and one-night stands, I was afraid to count them for fear of jealousy, he ignored them all, with a dark face, refusing them all, refusing them in a very straightforward way.’
Pei Chongyuan could imagine that Jiang Xi was indeed such a person.
But it was such a person that when they met for the second time, their eyes glued together.
Pei Chongyuan laughed to himself, feeling that he was quite attractive.
‘After getting together with you, damn it, the cool guy turned sweet,’ Kong Xun said. ‘The other day I came over and saw him chatting with his classmates here. When others came to chat with him, he smiled when he said no, which made me even more upset.’
‘You’ve gone too far,’ Pei Chongyuan said unhappily, ‘as if you really had a relationship with him.’
‘I have nothing to do with him, but I always feel a bit uncomfortable.‘ Kong Xun said about him, “The people you used to hang out with are all the same as us, and no one takes it to heart, but Jiang Xi is too involved, and I’m a bit worried.”
’It’s fine,’ Pei Chongyuan stood up, took a drag on his cigarette and was about to leave, ’We’ll handle our own business, and we won’t get you involved.’
He took two steps, then suddenly remembered something and turned back to ask, ‘When are you going to organise another live event here after the New Year? Jiang Xi has got a band.’
‘Sure, if you’ve got the money,’ Kong Xun said, ‘You pay, I’ll organise a special show for them.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and cursed, then went out.
He got back in the car and pondered Kong Xun’s words.
Yes, Jiang Xi was not one of them.
Pei Chongyuan leaned back in his seat and looked at the passenger seat.
These days, that seat has become Jiang Xi’s special seat. Since that time when Jiang Xi was angry, he has never let anyone else sit in the passenger seat.
In fact, Pei Chongyuan also understands that it is not a matter of sitting in the passenger seat or not. The fundamental problem lies with him.
It’s almost New Year’s Eve, and some businesses have been hanging lanterns outside for a long time.
It’s still light out, the lights are not on, but the atmosphere is there.
Pei Chongyuan called his assistant to ask about the recent schedule, and then sent Jiang Xi a message, asking him to send him an address where he could receive a delivery after getting off the plane, saying that he had a gift for him.
A New Year’s gift.
So, on New Year’s Eve, a little after 2:00 p.m., Jiang Xi received a call from the property management company of the residential community, saying that someone was at the gate to visit.
In the residential community where Jiang Xi lives, all visitors cannot enter without the owner opening the door, and the gate is connected to the home video phone.
However, Jiang Xi had broken his own video phone at home two years ago and had not repaired it.
He had not repaired it because he did not want to repair it, because he knew that no one would come to see him, and even if they did, he did not want to see them.
Jiang Xi thought it was that person again and wondered why they were so considerate during the New Year’s holiday and came here to cause him trouble.
Just as he was about to tell the property management company not to let him in, he suddenly heard the property management company say, ‘Mr. Jiang, the person on the other end says his name is Pei Chongyuan, your friend.’
Jiang Xi ran out wearing just a sweater.
From his home to the gate of the residential compound, he ran for four minutes.
During those four minutes, he kept doubting that he had heard it wrong, until he really saw Pei Chongyuan standing there with a suitcase by his side.
‘Pei Ge!’ Jiang Xi ignored the gaze of the property security guard and rushed over to embrace Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘How is it? Are you satisfied with this New Year’s gift?’

Chapter 32: I’ve missed you so much
Jiang Xi began to believe that Pei Chongyuan was a gift from heaven. After years of suffering, the heavens had finally seen the light and sent him to comfort him.
When she saw Pei Chongyuan, Jiang Xi still suspected that it was her imagination. But when she hugged him and he hugged her back, the familiar scent surrounded her, and the light perfume on Pei Chongyuan finally reassured her.
‘Brother Pei.‘
’How is it? Are you happy?”
Jiang Xi hugged him and laughed, not caring if anyone was watching.
See, anyone can look.
This man came looking for me, and he’s mine.
Jiang Xi hugged him very tightly, and even secretly left a kiss on Pei Chongyuan’s neck.
The two stood embracing at the entrance to the residential area, and it was only after a while that Jiang Xi let go.
He helped Pei Chongyuan carry the suitcase, and held his hand with the other hand. He thanked the property security guard and then led the way into the community.
In fact, Pei Chongyuan was a little surprised to come here. Previously, he had heard from Kong Xun that Jiang Xi’s parents were very wealthy, but during the time they had spent together, he had never seen Jiang Xi with anything too expensive.
The clothes were from brands that ordinary college students wore, and he didn’t see any famous watches. His food and clothing were nothing special, and there was nothing to indicate that this boy’s family background was different from others.
But after coming here, Pei Chongyuan roughly understood why Kong Xun said that his parents were rich.
The single-family villas, each of which was not small.
Each is far away from the others, and each has a large independent garden.
Jiang Xi’s family is not from some unknown small city in the 18th tier, and the housing prices here are among the highest in the country. At these prices, it is obvious that not just anyone can afford a house like this.
And this is still a second-generation rich kid.
Pei Chongyuan couldn’t help but laugh as he followed Jiang Xi inside.
‘Why have you suddenly come?‘ Jiang Xi, who was holding his hand, hadn’t recovered from the surprise yet, her face still slightly flushed, not sure if it was because she had run too fast before or because she was too excited. “Why didn’t you call me in advance?”
’If I had told you in advance, it wouldn’t have been a surprise,‘ Pei Chongyuan asked knowingly. “I’m not disturbing you, am I?”
’No,’ Jiang Xi hastened to say, “no.”
Why would she feel disturbed?
For the first time in ten years, someone was spending the New Year with him, and it was someone he had been thinking about.
This was a huge gift, and Jiang Xi didn’t even know what attitude he should adopt to welcome it.
Pei Chongyuan let go of his hand, lifted it up and put it around Jiang Xi’s shoulders, squeezed his shoulders hard, and said with some complaint, ‘Why did you come out wearing a sweater again? It’s the New Year, and if you catch a cold, won’t that be hard?’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘It’s fine, I’m not cold.’
It really wasn’t cold, and Jiang Xi still felt warm.
Pei Chongyuan laughed at his youthfulness, then unbuttoned his overcoat and wrapped him in his arms.
They walked intimately like this, stepping on the stone slab road in the community, passing by the rows of pine trees covered in snow and the snowmen piled up by someone nearby.
The two walked for a while before they arrived at Jiang Xi’s doorstep. When they pushed open the door and went in, Pei Chongyuan took a special look at the surroundings.
It was winter, and although the city was not the northernmost, the temperature was very low. Jiang Xi had taken good care of his small winter garden, and it did not feel desolate or run-down at all.
He imagined Jiang Xi coming back and clearing the weeds in the yard by himself, and then tidying up the small tables and chairs. He suddenly felt a little sad.
‘Brother Pei, let’s go inside,’ Jiang Xi said as he opened the door.
Pei Chongyuan followed him in, and Jiang Xi said a little awkwardly, ‘You can wear my slippers, there’s only one pair at home.’
The shoe cabinet by the door was neatly arranged with all of Jiang Xi’s shoes.
There was only one pair of slippers in such a big house.
Usually even people living alone will keep a few pairs of slippers at home in case relatives or friends come over and don’t have any shoes to wear.
But Jiang Xi didn’t, knowing that no one would come.
For the first time, Pei Chongyuan felt that he was really approaching Jiang Xi. In the past, the two of them had spent a lot of time together, but they had mostly just been physically attracted to each other, and had rarely gotten to know each other better.
Now, when he arrived at the place where Jiang Xi lived, the large house, where a single word could even echo, made Pei Chongyuan feel particularly distressed.
He had never seen such a home before.
He pulled Jiang Xi close to him and kissed her against the wall.
Jiang Xi was stunned at first, but then responded passionately.
The two hadn’t seen each other for more than a week, but after Jiang Xi returned, he contacted Pei Chongyuan every day, sometimes by text, sometimes by phone. When Pei Chongyuan wasn’t busy, they would also have video calls, looking at each other through the screen of the phone and doing A.
That simply couldn’t quench their thirst. Jiang Xi had originally planned to find an excuse to go back after the New Year, as he couldn’t imagine living here alone for another month.
I didn’t feel anything before, but since I’ve experienced the feeling of being accompanied, I never want to be alone again.
‘Okay, okay,’ Pei Chongyuan said, squeezing Jiang Xi’s shoulders to tear the child off him, and smiling, ‘I didn’t come here to do A with you.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him.
Pei Chongyuan pinched his face: ‘I came to spend the New Year with you.’
Jiang Xi’s eyes, which had been a little dazed from the kiss, suddenly sparkled, and then he looked at Pei Chongyuan, pursed his lips, and embraced the man in front of him.
‘Who told you?’
Pei Chongyuan hugged him back and said with a smile, ‘To be honest, I still have to criticize you a little.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Hiding things from me?’ Pei Chongyuan pinched his waist, ‘Do you think it’s appropriate to not tell me anything?’
Jiang Xi laughed as she nestled her head in Pei Chongyuan’s neck, and after a while she whispered, ‘No.’
‘You knew and still hid it from me?’
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I felt that… I didn’t want you to see me in a bad light.’
‘Are you stupid? You call this a bad light? At such a young age, do you have some misunderstanding about a “bad light”?’ Pei Chongyuan couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry, and then patted him on the back, ‘Let’s settle this later, I have a present for you.’
Jiang Xi let go of him and leaned against the shoe cabinet, smiling, ‘I thought you were my New Year’s gift.’
‘I’m one of them,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, then took out a beautifully packaged box from the suitcase.
Jiang Xi took it and opened it directly.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I haven’t seen you wear a watch before, so you probably won’t be used to it, but you should have a good watch.’
He was not a stingy lover, especially when it came to giving gifts.
Jiang Xi didn’t really know anything about watches, but he knew the brand.
“Brother Pei, this is a bit expensive,’
‘Compared to you, it’s nothing,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “You’re all mine, and I’ve got a great bargain in giving you a watch.”
Jiang Xi laughed, not having anything to say, and held out his hand for Pei Chongyuan to put the watch on for him.
As Pei Chongyuan put the watch on, Jiang Xi whispered, “It feels like you’re putting a wedding ring on me.”
Pei Chongyuan’s movements stalled for a moment, and then he laughed.
’There you go,’ he said, squeezing Jiang Xi’s wrist, ’Not bad.’
The two entered the house, and Pei Chongyuan once again felt in his heart that Jiang Xi’s family was really wealthy.
A teenager living by himself in such a big house was a pity, except that he had no one to keep him company.
Living alone, no matter how nice the house was or how much money there was, it was meaningless.
For a while, Pei Chongyuan always felt that when Jiang Xi looked at him, it was as if he were looking at someone else through him. At that time, he was still wondering if Jiang Xi was actually hiding someone in his heart.
Now he understands that for Jiang Xi, he has a dual identity.
He is both lover and family member.
Jiang Xi, who had never enjoyed the love and affection of an older generation, found in him the feeling of being able to rely on someone.
Perhaps that was why he fell in love with Jiang Xi so easily.
He doesn’t know if this is his good fortune or misfortune.
Pei Chongyuan is still a little conflicted.
He was conflicted, but he couldn’t help himself. He simply couldn’t ignore Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Do you have any Spring Festival couplets at home? Let’s put them up too.’
Jiang Xi carried his suitcase and walked upstairs, replying, ‘There aren’t any of those.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled helplessly and followed him upstairs: ‘I guessed as much.’
‘Have you not prepared any Spring Festival dishes either?’
Jiang Xi pointed in the direction of the kitchen on the first floor: ‘You can go and have a look.’
He smiled wryly, and Pei Chongyuan raised his hand and gave him a little nudge on the nose before turning around and going downstairs.
The kitchen fridge and cupboards were full of instant food, and Pei Chongyuan had nothing to say.
As he went upstairs, he followed the sound and found the bedroom.
There were quite a few rooms on the second floor, but most of them were empty. The furniture in each room was covered in white cloth, which was creepy to look at. Only one bedroom and one study were in normal use.
Pei Chongyuan walked into the bedroom and watched Jiang Xi hang the clothes he had brought in his suitcase one by one. He walked over and put his arms around the other person’s waist from behind.
‘How long can you stay here?’
‘How long do you want me to stay?’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘It’s better if you don’t go.’
Pei Chongyuan buried his face in the hollow of his neck, ‘It seems that it’s really not possible.’
Of course, Jiang Xi knew it wasn’t possible, he was just saying that.
‘I’ll go back on the sixth,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “and I have to go to work on the seventh.”
Jiang Xi let out a “huh,” and didn’t say anything.
’Will you go back with me then?‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “It’s a bit uncomfortable for me to leave you here by yourself.”
Jiang Xi laughed and turned around, the two of them looked at each other for a few seconds, and then collapsed directly onto the bed.
’You’re here so soon?’ Pei Chongyuan lay on the bed, with Jiang Xi on top of him.
While he took off Jiang Xi’s sweater, he said with a smirk, ‘Isn’t it a bit inappropriate for us to have sex right after we meet?’
Jiang Xi didn’t care about that, and like a hungry little beast, she ripped off Pei Chongyuan’s belt.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said, lying on top of him and speaking emotionally, ‘I’ve missed you so much.’
“I’ve missed you so much that every night before going to sleep, I have to think of you and masturbate before I can fall asleep peacefully.
I miss you so much that I count the days until I can lock the door and fly back to you.
I miss you so much that I want to lock you up by my side, and we won’t go anywhere, just do it until we’re exhausted.
Jiang Xi knew that his longing for Pei Chongyuan was so strong that it was a little out of control. Sometimes when he was holding the other person, he wanted to say, ‘Let’s die together.’
But he didn’t dare, for fear of scaring Pei Chongyuan.
His love was so strong, like a raging mountain fire, and it could never be extinguished.

Chapter 33: Against the grain
Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi tossed and turned on the bed for more than an hour. When it was over, they took a shower, and it was already past 3:00 p.m.
Jiang Xi, who had not even dried off after coming out of the shower, went barefoot and stepping in water the whole way to the kitchen to find Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan looked back at him and smiled helplessly, ‘You’re disobedient.’
Jiang Xi always had this habit of not drying himself after a bath at home, and not wearing any clothes, letting the water on his body evaporate slowly.
It had been the same with Pei Chongyuan before, and at first Pei Chongyuan had thought that the boy was deliberately seducing him, but then he realised that it was a major vice of the disobedient boy.
Afraid that he might catch a cold, Pei Chongyuan quickly put down the work in his hands and went to get a bathrobe to wrap the person in.
‘Not cold?‘
He then brought a towel to dry Jiang Xi’s hair.
’Not cold,’ Jiang Xi said, taking his hand and kissing it greedily.
Jiang Xi was so happy, his most hated Spring Festival had become lovely because of Pei Chongyuan’s sudden arrival.
In his opinion, Pei Chongyuan’s significance to him had surpassed that of a lover. He did not easily define the other person, because he was not worthy to do so.
In front of Pei Chongyuan, at least for today, the moment he saw the other person come to him, he suddenly felt that he could give up all his dignity for the other person and from then on submit to this person’s feet.
He was willing to do anything, and even more willing to give everything he had.
Love and the body, they were both Pei Chongyuan’s.
Jiang Xi indulged in kissing each of Pei Chongyuan’s hands, which had just brushed his hair, root by root. They were slightly cool and damp.
He kissed, imagining the feeling of these fingers swimming in his body as they did him.
‘What’s wrong?’ Pei Chongyuan saw him like this and just thought he was overly missing him after not seeing him for many days, and jokingly said, ‘Just finished and you want again?’
Jiang Xi laughed and looked up at him.
‘Brother Pei, I love you.’
Jiang Xi had said he loved him more than once, solemnly, as if he couldn’t wait to show him his heart.
Let him see whose name is engraved on that red, beating heart.
But Pei Chongyuan never responded directly.
Jiang Xi didn’t notice this, because every time, Pei Chongyuan either hugged or kissed him, distracting Jiang Xi’s attention.
For Jiang Xi, hugging and kissing were Pei Chongyuan’s responses, but in fact, the two fundamentally disagreed on the matter.
However, the 18-year-old Jiang Xi did not realise the seriousness of the matter.
They kissed in the living room, and when the mood was right, Jiang Xi took Pei Chongyuan’s hand and caressed himself.
Pei Chongyuan laughed at him and said, ‘Okay, let’s eat something first.’
Then Jiang Xi hugged Pei Chongyuan from behind and followed him into the kitchen.
Pei Chongyuan was cooking noodles.
‘Later, we’ll go out and look for some ingredients,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “I can’t control how you used to spend your days on your own, and I can’t control it now either, but now that I’m here, I can’t let you suffer.”
Jiang Xi put her chin on his shoulder and laughed, “Brother Pei, you’re so good to me.”
Pei Chongyuan felt that he deserved this praise. He was good to Jiang Xi.
‘If you know I’m good to you, you’ll behave,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “In the future, after you shower, dry off, get dressed, and then come out. After a while, the heating will be turned off, and the room will be cold.”
Jiang Xi laughed, and kissed his ear from behind.
Pei Chongyuan’s noodles were still cooking, and the property security guard’s phone rang again.
Jiang Xi frowned, and didn’t want to answer it.
’Answer the phone,’ Pei Chongyuan patted him, ’What if there’s something wrong?’
Jiang Xi had no choice but to go over and answer it.
It wasn’t long before Jiang Xi came back, his face dark with anger, and he hugged Pei Chongyuan again.
‘Something happened?’
‘No.’ Jiang Xi didn’t say another word after that, and even when eating the noodles, his face didn’t look good.
After Jiang Xi finished eating, Pei Chongyuan went to find his clothes, and the two of them changed and prepared to go out and buy groceries.
‘It’s getting late, and I’m afraid the supermarket is going to close.’ After all, it was New Year’s Eve, and the supermarkets were closing early today.
Jiang Xi obediently followed him out the door, listening to Pei Chongyuan planning what dishes to cook for the evening, and his bad mood from earlier was swept away.
Once they were out the door, Jiang Xi insisted on holding hands.
Pei Chongyuan laughed at him, ‘Why have you become so clingy since we got home?’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, just looked at him.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t mind, and since he didn’t know anyone here, he simply indulged him, holding their fingers together as they walked slowly and leisurely outside.
It was a sunny New Year’s Eve, and the weather wasn’t that cold. The two of them were wearing woolen overcoats and holding hands as they walked outside the community.
‘We still need to buy New Year’s couplets,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘The New Year should look like the New Year.’
‘Brother Pei, how did you celebrate the New Year in the past?’
‘Me…’ Pei Chongyuan looked ahead and smiled, ‘When I was young, it was a big family gathering. It was lively back then, and every year my pockets were bulging with red envelopes. Later, when my parents divorced, I spent New Year’s Eve with my mother at my grandmother’s house, and my father picked me up around the third day of the New Year to spend a few days with him. After my father passed away, I spent New Year’s Eve with my mother. Last year, my mother was abroad, and I was in China, busy at work and unable to go with her. So on New Year’s Eve, I bought a bag of frozen dumplings and got by.
Jiang Xi listened quietly and suddenly felt that in fact, he was not the only lonely person in the world.
On the way out, Pei Chongyuan told Jiang Xi about how lively the New Year was when he was a child, looking forward to wearing new clothes, and that normally they couldn’t eat much sugar, but they could during the New Year. Back then, the children from their families would get together and set off firecrackers. They were all mischievous kids, fearless of anything, even daring to play with double-kick firecrackers.
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘I didn’t realise you were so mischievous when you were a child.’
‘Is it that appearances can be deceptive?‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “Back then I was the king of the kids, with a group of little brothers following me around. I was the bully in the alleyway where my grandmother’s house was.”
Jiang Xi was amused by his words and couldn’t stop laughing until they walked out of the community gate and saw the man standing there.
The smile on Jiang Xi’s face instantly disappeared, and with a cold face, he took Pei Chongyuan by the hand and walked quickly away.
’Jiang Xi!’
Jiang Xi didn’t turn around, but Pei Chongyuan did.
Sometimes you have to admit the power of genes. Although everyone who has met Jiang Xi’s parents says that Jiang Xi looks more like his mother, at this moment, when the man walked towards them, Pei Chongyuan immediately recognised his relationship with Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi stopped and turned back impatiently.
Jiang Xi’s father walked over and frowned as he looked at the two of them holding hands.
“What are you doing?’
‘I’m going shopping,‘ Jiang Xi said in a cold voice, “spending the New Year with my boyfriend.”
’Boyfriend?‘
Pei Chongyuan was being scrutinised by the other person, whose gaze was full of doubt and hostility.
He didn’t like being looked at like that, but after all, Jiang Xi’s father, he couldn’t say anything impolite.
’Hello,’ Pei Chongyuan introduced himself politely, “I’m Xiaoxi’s boyfriend, Pei Chongyuan.”
He held out his hand, but it was ignored.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t feel too embarrassed, but just smiled softly and withdrew his hand.
He knew that Jiang Xi would definitely get back at him for the injustice he had suffered.
Sure enough, Jiang Xi said unhappily, ‘Can you be a little more polite?’
Hearing Jiang Xi’s words, his father’s anger climbed up his face, but he still endured his anger and reached out, offering to shake Pei Chongyuan’s hand.
Pei Chongyuan smiled gentlemanly as he shook his hand, showing generosity and good breeding.
After shaking hands, Jiang Xi’s father quickly withdrew his hand, showing his displeasure to the fullest.
Jiang Xi rolled his eyes and pulled Pei Chongyuan away, saying, ‘We shouldn’t have given him face.’
Pei Chongyuan just let him be and didn’t say anything.
Jiang Xi’s father chased after them and stopped their path menacingly.
“Jiang Xi!’
Jiang Xi impatiently sidestepped him, but was pulled back.
‘Don’t touch me,’ Jiang Xi’s eyes and tone were like daggers stabbing at his father, ‘Stay away from me, don’t give me a hard time during the New Year.’
‘Who’s giving who a hard time?’ His father took out a set of keys, ‘I came to give you a New Year’s gift, and you introduce me to your boyfriend?’
Pei Chongyuan glanced at the car keys and laughed to himself.
He really is rich, giving his son a million-yuan car for New Year’s.
Compared to that, his watch is nothing, not even worth the price of a car emblem.
But Pei Chongyuan also knows very well that for Jiang Xi, the important thing is not the price of the gift, it’s not what the person wants.
‘Do you think I want to introduce you?’ Jiang Xi looked at the man in front of her coldly, ‘Just looking at him makes me think you’ve infected him with a virus.’
‘Is this any way to speak to your father?‘
’Have you ever been a good father to me?‘ Jiang Xi was not at all polite, “You have the nerve to tell me you’re my father?”
’The fucking house you’re living in now is mine!‘
’Fine, I’m not living there anymore.’ Jiang Xi turned around and pulled Pei Chongyuan back, ’We’ll pack our things and leave right away.’
Listening to the father and son argue, Pei Chongyuan couldn’t help but feel a strange sensation in his heart.
He quite liked seeing Jiang Xi’s energy, scowling at people with no mercy.
But what kind of relationship between father and son could be so bad that Jiang Xi would see his father as if he were an enemy?
He watched and guessed as an outsider, admiring his little panther getting angry.
‘I didn’t mean it that way.‘ When Jiang Xi said this, his father immediately gave in.
’No,’ Jiang Xi said with a light smile, ’I really can’t stand it anymore. It’s like I owe you a lot, every time we meet we have to argue and then you give me a hard time. I really owe you a lot.’
He took Pei Chongyuan by the hand and walked away, but his father suddenly pulled them apart.
‘Jiang Xi, behave yourself,’ said Jiang Xi’s father. ‘I didn’t tell you to move out, and this car is for you too.’
He gave Pei Chongyuan a disdainful look and then said to Jiang Xi, ‘Have you told your mother that you’re gay?’
‘What does she have to do with the fact that I’m gay?‘ Jiang Xi looked at him coldly, “And what does it have to do with you?”
’We gave birth to you.‘
’Then I really thank you,’ Jiang Xi said, ’You gave birth to me, but did you raise me? Did you love me? Did you educate me? I live here, you buy me a car, you don’t let me date men, don’t think I don’t know what you mean. You’re afraid that if I don’t lead a good life, people will gossip about you, and if I date men, you’ll be laughed at. Even if I give a man a blowjob in the middle of the street today, I won’t tell anyone that I was born to you, and I won’t say that my surname is Jiang. I’m not disgracing you, so don’t worry.”
The appearance of this man touched Jiang Xi’s bottom line. Pei Chongyuan listened to him say these words without thinking, and suddenly it was like he had been shot in the heart by a cold gun. It hurt so much that he frowned and clenched the trembling hand he was holding.

Chapter 34: Snow melts
Jiang Xi is like a cold-blooded killer, shooting himself on purpose.
However, this shot not only hurts him.
His father doesn’t feel good listening to it, and Pei Chongyuan also feels heartbroken listening to it.
Pei Chongyuan squeezed his hand: ‘Xixi, don’t say that.’
Only Pei Chongyuan could extinguish the raging anger that was about to make Jiang Xixi lose his reason. He gripped Pei Chongyuan’s hand, raised it up, and said to his father in a defiant manner, ‘I’ll fuck him, I’ll be with him. Back then you didn’t want to care about me, and now you’re not qualified to care about me.’
Jiang Xixi resented his father, and also resented the person who claimed to be his mother.
They had broken a child’s beautiful illusions with their own hands and ruthlessly labelled him ‘redundant’.
At the time, they had felt that he was superfluous, and later, they had pretended to be considerate parents, which seemed ludicrous to Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Do you think that because I spend your money, I should listen to everything you say? Don’t even think about it. I’m a bastard child with no one to raise me, so what kind of upbringing do you expect from a bastard?’
He smiled and glanced at his father, then took Pei Chongyuan’s hand and walked away.
This time, Jiang Xi’s father did not chase after him. He stood there watching his son walk away with a man’s hand in his.
He was furious, but there was nothing he could do.
Jiang Xi, who had walked away, bit his teeth without saying a word, his eyes full of anger, and he walked faster and faster with Pei Chongyuan.
‘Xiao Xi,’ Pei Chongyuan suddenly stopped and pulled the man back to him.
Jiang Xi was panting heavily with anger, his chest rising and falling, and he felt a little dizzy.
Pei Chongyuan wrapped his cold hand in Jiang Xi’s, lowered his head to release some of the heat, and rubbed it.
‘You were pretty cool,’ Pei Chongyuan said, smiling deliberately to ease the situation. ‘For a moment there, I almost called you brother.’
Jiang Xi finally smiled and looked at him and said, ‘Pei, don’t joke around.’
‘Really, you have a lot of charisma,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “You made him angry, but you’re not much better yourself. Xixi, I can’t say don’t get so angry with him, but let’s just forget about it after a while, or Pei Ge will feel bad watching.”
Pei Chongyuan had long heard Tong Ye say that Jiang Xi had a bad temper, but this was the first time he had seen the boy lose his temper like this.
The words that came out were like knives, all stabbing themselves.
What’s more, he called him a bastard, saying that he would hurt himself as much as the enemy.
Pei Chongyuan tried to persuade him, ‘Next time you argue, don’t shoot yourself. Aim for the other person’s heart and kill him with one blow. Don’t harm yourself.’
Jiang Xi frowned at him and heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘If you don’t care about yourself, I do.’
These words made Jiang Xi want to cry.
He really felt quite aggrieved, and the aggrief that had started when he was eight years old had accumulated over ten years.
Back then, he had thought that he was just like everyone else, with parents who loved and doted on him, and a comfortable life. It was just that his parents were both busier than most and couldn’t always spend time with him, and the three of them could rarely get together.
It turned out that they were only told later that the reason they didn’t see him often wasn’t because they were busy, but because they both had their own families and he was just an extra.
Couldn’t he stop crying?
Back then, Jiang Xi clung to his mother’s legs, begging her to stay with him, and took his father’s hand, pleading with him not to go.
They promised, but then turned around and left him alone in the empty house.
At the age of eight, Jiang Xi was unwanted.
At the age of eighteen, Jiang Xi was standing on the street on New Year’s Eve, when Pei Chongyuan came up to him, put his arms around him, and patted his back gently, saying, ‘It’s okay, we still have to have a good New Year, don’t let outsiders affect your mood.’
Jiang Xi smiled and said, ‘Brother Pei, thank you.’
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan went to the supermarket. In the afternoon, when they were checking out, the supermarket was about to close. The cashier smiled and said Happy New Year to them. Jiang Xi rarely smiled so happily and responded, ‘Happy New Year, you’ve worked hard.’
They went home with bags and bags of groceries. Pei Chongyuan said, ‘It’s also thanks to you, otherwise I would have to eat frozen dumplings by myself this year.’
In fact, he said this just to comfort Jiang Xi. Originally, he had planned to spend the New Year with his mother this year.
Jiang Xi smiled and didn’t say anything.
He didn’t say anything, but he was touched.
In fact, Jiang Xi understood that Pei Chongyuan might not have had no other arrangements, but he was just saying nice things to make him happy.
But then again, if someone is willing to do this to make you happy, why would you have any reason to be dissatisfied?
They returned home laden with gifts. When they arrived at the entrance to the residential compound, Jiang Xi saw that the car was still parked by the roadside.
He ignored it and followed Pei Chongyuan into the compound.
The security guard from the residential compound came out of the security room and handed him a set of keys, saying, ‘Mr. Jiang, this was left for you by the gentleman earlier. Please help to deliver it.’
Jiang Xi glanced at the keys and then at the car.
Pei Chongyuan thought he wouldn’t take them, but Jiang Xi reached out and took the keys directly, thanking the security guard.
Jiang Xi said to Pei Chongyuan, ‘Brother Pei, let’s put the things in the car.’
He walked with Pei Chongyuan to the car, opened the trunk, and put everything in.
Then, he drove the car into the residential area and went home.
When the car pulled into the garage, Pei Chongyuan was shocked.
Three cars were parked side by side, one more expensive than the other.
Pei Chongyuan had to admit that he had indeed underestimated Jiang Xi. The boy’s family was really not comparable to ordinary people.
Jiang Xi parked the car and leaned against it without moving.
‘Brother Pei, do you have any cigarettes?”
Pei Chongyuan took out a cigarette, lit it, and held it near his mouth.
Jiang Xi smiled and said thank you, then looked at the other cars and said, “See? This is how much they love me.”
After he finished speaking, he laughed, ’But it’s also true, they’ve spent so much money on me, what the fuck is there for me to be dissatisfied with? Shouldn’t I be grateful and kneel down to kowtow to them?’
Pei Chongyuan pinched his thigh, meaning for him to stop talking like that.
Jiang Xi spat out a puff of smoke and looked outside a little absent-mindedly.
‘When I was a child, before the age of eight, I thought I was very happy,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘I had a good diet and a good place to live, and every day I was looked after by an ayi. My parents rarely spent time with me, but I knew that it wasn’t because they didn’t love me, it was because they were busy at work.’
Jiang Xi took a drag on his cigarette, tilted his head slightly, and as he spoke, his Adam’s apple vibrated up and down: ‘I always tried to be a good child, not to cause them trouble. Every time they came back, of course, they rarely came back together, I would show them what I had learned. I played the piano, recited poems, wrote calligraphy, constantly letting them know that I was a good child, obedient, wanting to hear them praise me. They really did perform well at that time, acting like a good parent.’
Pei Chongyuan listened quietly and lit a cigarette.
‘So what happened? How did this mirror of a happy family shatter?’ Jiang Xi frowned and snorted, ‘On my eighth birthday, they both came back together to celebrate my birthday, which was rare. But my father’s official wife came with their child, pointed at my mother and called her a bitch. I was beaten by her son and called a bastard.’
Pei Chongyuan also frowned and looked at him.
‘At that time, I didn’t know much, and I was still confused when I was beaten,’ Jiang Xi said. “Later, I learned that my mother can’t be considered a mistress, because my father and his wife were together before they met. After they broke up, my mother found out she was pregnant. I don’t know what she was thinking. After they broke up, they aborted me, but they didn’t. They actually gave birth to me.”
Jiang Xi laughed, “Idiot.”
He shook the ashes of his cigarette, and they fell onto his pants as he looked down at them.
‘Sometimes I can’t help but feel the diversity of species. What’s the saying? Humans don’t share the same joys and sorrows.’ Jiang Xi said, “Later I heard that their decision to have this child had to do with the division of family property. Fuck, my birth was all a pawn in their game. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.”
Pei Chongyuan has always been a smooth talker, but this was the first time he didn’t know what to say.
Jiang Xi unbuckled his seat belt and leaned over towards Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan cooperated and moved over, so that Jiang Xi could lean on his shoulder.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Brother Pei, sometimes I feel disgusted with being alive. I hate the thought of their blood flowing through my veins, and I want to take a knife and cut open my artery to let the blood out.’
‘Xi,’ said Pei Chongyuan, instinctively taking hold of his wrist, ‘don’t be silly.’
Jiang Xi smiled and held out his left hand, turning it over so that he could show him his wrist.
‘I did it once in high school, and it really hurt,’ Jiang Xi said, “I was learning from movies how people cut their wrists to commit suicide. I lay in the bathtub and used the razor blade to cut the veins on my wrist. It really hurt, so much that my hands were shaking.”
Pei Chongyuan looked at the scar and saw Jiang Xi’s heart broken into pieces a few years ago.
He suddenly felt that he had really been careless.
He always thought that he had cared too much about Jiang Xi and been too gentle with her compared to his previous lovers, but at this moment he realised that he was still the same selfish person who only truly loved himself.
The scar on Jiang Xi’s wrist was very obvious, but he had never noticed it before.
He gently stroked the scar on Jiang Xi’s wrist and whispered, ‘Don’t do it again.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘Well, I’m not going to die.’
He said, ‘After that I knew that death is not an easy thing. It hurts too damn much, I don’t want a second time.’
Pei Chongyuan tilted his head and kissed his forehead.
‘After they completely revealed the fact that they each had a family, they didn’t bother pretending anymore,’ Jiang Xi laughed and smoked, ‘My father told me to go with him, and my mother told me to go with her, and as a result they got into a big fight, and a vase was thrown over, and they didn’t do anything, but it hit me.’
Jiang Xi said, ‘It’s ridiculous. At that time, they all fought over me because having more children meant more family wealth. Later, their parents wouldn’t let me in the door, and I became a burden they wished they could get rid of immediately. I’m nothing but a bastard child, so what kind of upbringing could I have? I just spent their money and called them bastards, ungrateful and unthankful.’
Pei Chongyuan didn’t know who had said these things to Jiang Xi, but someone must have.
He felt so much pain, even though Jiang Xi was only eighteen now. Who had really cared about what he had endured all these years?
Pei Chongyuan couldn’t bear it anymore, and leaned over to kiss Jiang Xi, holding him down.
He couldn’t bear to hear any more, and didn’t dare to listen.
Every word Jiang Xi said felt like a dull knife carving away at his heart.
‘Xiao Xi,’ Pei Chongyuan kissed him and stroked his face, saying, “You’re not a burden. It doesn’t matter if they don’t love you, because you have me now.”
You have me now.
What a beautiful thing to say, full of love and commitment.
Jiang Xi had never been the type to entrust his life to someone else, because he knew very well that he couldn’t and shouldn’t.
But at the moment, he believed Pei Chongyuan’s words.
Jiang Xi smiled, ‘Okay, I’ve got you now, you can’t get rid of me.’
Pei Chongyuan coaxed and comforted him, ‘Are you happy now? Then shouldn’t we go back and paste the Spring Festival couplets and get ready for the New Year?’
‘You paste them?’
‘We’ll paste them together.’ Pei Chongyuan let go of him, tidied up a bit and got ready to get off the car, ‘Come on, don’t try to be lazy.’
He got off the car, and Jiang Xi sat there and watched him smile.
Outside, through the car window, people waved at him.
Jiang Xi suddenly felt as if all the grievances from those years had evaporated at that moment. His spring had come early, and the snow had all melted.

Chapter 35: The ring
Pei Chongyuan spent the New Year at Jiang Xi’s house. On the fourth day of the New Year, the two packed their bags and decided to drive back themselves.
Pei Chongyuan laughed and said, ‘That’s far enough.’
Jiang Xi helped him put the luggage in the trunk, then stood there waiting for Pei Chongyuan to button up his overcoat.
‘We can enjoy the scenery along the way,’
Pei Chongyuan said, smiling and kissing him.
The idea of driving back was Jiang Xi’s, probably inspired by the cars in the garage.
They had to drive back for more than ten hours, and to be honest, Pei Chongyuan didn’t want to suffer like this.
But Jiang Xi liked it, and he agreed without even thinking about it.
Because there was plenty of time and they were in no hurry to go back, the two of them stopped briefly in other cities along the way, ate some famous local dishes, and strolled around the frozen lakeside park.
They set off on the fourth day and didn’t get home until the evening of the fifth.
Pei Chongyuan laughed and said, ‘It seems to me that you’re having so much fun that you don’t want to come home.’
Jiang Xi did seem to be having a little too much fun.
While they were taking a shower, Jiang Xi leaned into Pei Chongyuan’s arms and whispered, ‘Brother Pei, when you have time in the future, can we go on a road trip and explore the whole country?’
Pei Chongyuan squeezed shampoo in his hands and rubbed it into his long hair: ‘Sure, when I have time, I can make arrangements.’
Jiang Xi smiled, not really expecting anything.
It’s easy to say you’ll drive across the country, but where’s the time?
Even if he had the time, Pei Chongyuan might not.
But the fact that the other person agreed to what he wanted showed that he cared.
After the two returned, there wasn’t much to do. On the last day of their holiday, they spent the whole day in bed. In the evening, Kong Xun called and asked them to come over. Jiang Xi didn’t really want to go, but Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Let’s go for a drink. It’s been a while.’
Reluctantly, Jiang Xi followed Pei Chongyuan out the door. When they arrived at the bar, Jiang Xi didn’t say much, leaning against Pei Chongyuan and getting sleepy as he drank.
Kong Xun said, ‘Next month I’m organising a live event here, and I’m short of an opening band. I don’t know what to do.’
Hearing this, Jiang Xi suddenly opened his eyes.
Pei Chongyuan laughed and nudged Jiang Xi with his elbow, ‘Didn’t you form a band? Is school starting next month? Are all the people back? I’ll help you out, Kong.’
Kong Xun pretended to be surprised and said, ‘Really? When did you form a band, Jiang Xi?’
Jiang Xi sat up straight and said seriously, ‘Can we do it? We formed the band last semester and have no experience.’
‘It’s fine!’ Kong Xun said, ‘Experience is gained through practice! This is settled, so hurry up and persuade them, don’t let it fall through at the last minute.’
Jiang Xi smiled, ‘Okay, I’ll talk to them.’
Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi received a message from Kong Xun after they left the bar: ‘Fuck you.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled, put away his phone, and took Jiang Xi home.
After the New Year, Pei Chongyuan became busy, and Jiang Xi stayed at his house until the start of the semester.
If before Jiang Xi had some distrust of Pei Chongyuan, always feeling uneasy around him, after the two spent the Spring Festival together, Jiang Xi completely let go of all his concerns. He even thought about telling Tong Ye about him and Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan had been in meetings all day, and when he got home, Jiang Xi had already prepared dinner.
‘I didn’t expect it,’ said Pei Chongyuan, following the aroma into the kitchen and seeing a table full of dishes. He was surprised, ‘How come I didn’t know you could cook?’
‘I just learned,’ said Jiang Xi, shaking his phone in his hand, ‘I looked up recipes online.’
Pei Chongyuan went over and pinched his face, smiling, ‘Okay, not bad, I’ll go change and wash my hands, get ready to eat.’
He went out, and Jiang Xi turned around and took a cake out of the refrigerator.
Before Pei Chongyuan came back, Jiang Xi stuck in the candles and carefully lit them one by one.
The moment Pei Chongyuan walked into the dining room, Jiang Xi, who was standing in the doorway, turned off the lights.
In the dining room, there was only candlelight, pink and orange, glowing warmly and sweetly.
‘Brother Pei, happy birthday,‘ Jiang Xi hugged him from behind, kissed the back of his neck, and said with a smile, “I hope I got the date right.”
Pei Chongyuan was a little surprised, and with a smile, asked, “How did you know?”
’I asked Brother Kong Xun,’ Jiang Xi said, “Luckily I asked that day, or I would have almost missed it.”
Pei Chongyuan turned around and hugged him and kissed him, holding him tightly in his arms.
The candle burned slowly, and the room was warm, but not as warm as Jiang Xi’s embrace.
Pei Chongyuan suddenly felt that his previous self was despicable, and he was sorry for Jiang Xi’s sincerity.
‘Xiao Xi, I’m very moved.’
He was very moved, and that was no lie.
His emotion was not triggered by just this cake and table of food.
It was the accumulation of the days and months, and the time they had spent together.
In recent years, Pei Chongyuan’s birthdays have either been a gathering with colleagues or a drinking session with some dubious friends. It’s been lively, but there’s always been something missing.
Today was an exception. They had just taken on a new project, and everyone was so busy that they didn’t have the time or energy for a gathering. So after work that evening, Pei Chongyuan treated everyone to a quick dinner to celebrate.
He didn’t mention it to Jiang Xi on purpose, because he didn’t think it was anything important.
For him, the meaning of birthdays was just socialising.
‘Let go of me first,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘go make a wish and blow out the candles, they’re dripping on the cake.’
Pei Chongyuan reluctantly let go of him and took his hand and walked to the table.
The cake was custom-made, a very simple model, and on it Jiang Xi had written in his own handwriting: ‘Pei Ge, happy birthday.’
The candles were not Pei Chongyuan’s age either, but the number ‘1’.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and asked, ‘What does this “1” mean?’
Jiang Xi said, ‘I’ll spend my first birthday with you.’
Everything in the past is forgotten. I don’t want to know about the experiences I haven’t shared with you, whether they were good or bad. I only care about the time we spent together and the years to come.
Jiang Xi looked at Pei Chongyuan, whose eyes reflected the candlelight.
‘Pei Ge, I really love you,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘Can you understand?’
Pei Chongyuan tightened his hand and, for the first time, said, ‘I love you too.’
I love you too.
No one knows how long I have been hiding this sentence, not even myself.
Love is an intangible thing that cannot be felt or grasped. I have never felt that it truly exists.
There is no such thing as purely unprofitable love. Everyone is just getting what they want together. This is what I have always believed.
That was until I met you.
Your idealism makes me feel despicable, and your pure love makes me feel inferior.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Xixi, let’s blow out the candles together.’
‘I haven’t made a wish yet,’ said Jiangxi. ‘You make a wish first, and then we’ll blow.’
Make a wish.
Pei Chongyuan thought about it, closed his eyes, and said in his heart, ‘Let’s celebrate our birthdays together again next year.’
He opened his eyes, squeezed Jiang Xi’s hand and said, ‘Come, let’s blow out the candles together.’
The moment the candles were blown out, the restaurant fell into darkness.
Pei Chongyuan turned around, embraced Jiang Xi and kissed him, like a beast that had just awakened, gnawing on its long-saved prey.
He finally admitted that he had never been so interested in Jiang Xi before. He had never been so greedy to take from someone, and it was never enough.
He had originally wanted to celebrate, to cut the cake together, to drink and eat together.
But it turned out that the two of them ended up having sex on the floor of the restaurant.
Jiang Xi didn’t resist; he just welcomed it.
He could feel that today’s Pei Chongyuan was a little different from usual. Usually, no matter what, Pei Chongyuan never seemed to lose control, always just the right amount of force, gentle and attentive, taking care to make him feel pleasure first.
But today, everything was out of control.
Pei Chongyuan was like a beast in heat that had lost its mind, attacking him furiously, taking his sweat and breath.
Jiang Xi liked this feeling, because only out-of-control was true love.
When it was all over, Jiang Xi said with a smile, ‘Brother Pei, the food is getting cold.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and kissed him, ‘You’re still warm.’
The two lay on the ground laughing. When they had had enough, Jiang Xi struggled to sit up.
“I still have a gift for you,’
He imitated Pei Chongyuan from the Spring Festival and said to the person still lying there, ‘I’m just one of them.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and held out his hand to ask for a present.
Jiang Xi got up, took the trousers that had been thrown aside, reached into his pocket, and took out a small box.
A burgundy velvet box.
He came back, lay down next to Pei Chongyuan, opened the box, and two identical rings were lying side by side inside.
‘One for each of us,’ Jiang Xi asked, “do you want it?”
He had secretly gone out and bought it, and the names of the two of them were engraved on the inside of the ring.
Jiang Xi actually felt that this move was a bit childish, as if elementary school students in love had to wear rings.
But he really wanted it.
He wanted to be locked in with Pei Chongyuan, just like an engagement.
Pei Chongyuan took out one and asked, “Which finger do you want to wear it on?”
Jiang Xi lightly tapped on his ring finger.
The ring slipped onto Pei Chongyuan’s ring finger and glistened coldly in the darkness.
Pei Chongyuan put it on Jiang Xi’s finger too, and then their hands held together.
Jiang Xi smiled, leaned over and hugged Pei Chongyuan, her nose brushing against his shoulder.
They cuddled like this for a while, then went and took a shower, came back, tidied up a bit, and sat down to eat cake.
As it turned out, they didn’t get to eat much of the cake before it became a tool for their flirting.
The two of them fooled around all night, and the next morning, as usual, Pei Chongyuan got up early to get ready for work. What he didn’t expect was that Jiang Xi got up even earlier than him and even went out to buy breakfast.
While eating breakfast, Pei Chongyuan noticed that the ring on Jiang Xi’s hand was gone, so he took the other person’s hand and asked what was going on.
‘I’ve had a chat with Kong Xun, and we both agreed that it’s better to keep things low-key,‘ Jiang Xi said. “I’m just a student, so it probably won’t have much impact, but you’re different. You meet a lot of people, and some people won’t like it.”
Pei Chongyuan looked at him without saying anything.
’Underground relationships are pretty interesting,’ Jiang Xi said with a forced laugh. ’I like it. It’s exciting.’

Chapter 36: The Boy with the Long Legs
When Jiang Xi asked Kong Xun about Pei Chongyuan’s birthday before, he briefly told the other person about his plans.
He had to prepare a cake.
He had to give Pei Chongyuan a ring.
At the time, Kong Xun watched him while smoking and frowned, asking him several times why it had to be Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘I understand why you’re asking.’
Jiang Xi is not some innocent bunny who knows nothing. He is not that simple. After spending so much time together, he has probably got a pretty good idea of what kind of person Pei Chongyuan is.
Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi have completely different views on love.
Jiang Xi understands that.
But going over old accounts is the most uninteresting thing to do, and he is not that kind of person.
No matter what kind of person Pei Chongyuan was in the past, at least Jiang Xi feels that when they were together, this man was wholeheartedly devoted to him.
If the other person is wholehearted, it is worth being wholehearted in return.
No one is innocent in the steps that have brought them to this point. At the beginning, Jiang Xi himself held the idea that ‘if you love even once, you should love with this kind of person’ and walked towards Pei Chongyuan.
Therefore, they are destined to be linked together.
Pei Chongyuan has a fatal attraction to him, and he believes that he also has the same feeling for Pei Chongyuan.
He is a very possessive person, either giving him everything or completely getting out of the way.
He could feel Pei Chongyuan being gradually won over and occupied, little by little, and he was already on the verge of victory.
Jiang Xi had this confidence.
So he said, ‘He will belong to me entirely.’
Kong Xun laughed, not in derision, but because he was impressed by his fearless, fearless, confident and determined appearance.
Sometimes Kong Xun would wonder if it was right or wrong not to stand up to stop them in the first place.
But now it seems that they should be left to deal with it themselves. He, an outsider, couldn’t possibly care so much.
Jiang Xi asked Kong Xun, ‘Do you think he’ll be willing to wear a couple’s ring with me?’
‘I guess so,’ Kong Xun said, taking a drag on his cigarette. ‘He really spoils you.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘I spoil him, too.’
‘Fuck,’ Kong Xun said with a smile, ‘are you fucking showing off your love for me?’
‘It’s not a show, I just want to ask.‘ Jiang Xi’s smile never faded.
’Okay, okay, don’t torture me. You two are so lovey-dovey, and my bed is still empty.’ Kong Xun said, “He can wear the ring, but I think you two should still be careful not to be too high-profile. There are so many twists and turns in this society.”
Kong Xun only said this as a kind of reminder, but later Jiang Xi thought about it a lot on his own and slowly understood.
Yes, how tolerant is society?
He had originally been eager to announce his relationship with Pei Chongyuan to the world, but now suddenly he was awakened, and a crack appeared in his idealism.
Let’s wait a bit longer.
Let’s wait and see.
Jiang Xi’s hand reached inside the collar of his pajamas, and with a single finger he hooked out a necklace.
‘I want to see you wearing the ring,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘but it’s not good for the two of us to wear it together, so mine will hang from the necklace.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at the ring being strung on Jiang Xi’s white neck by the silver necklace, adding a few more flirtatious touches to the boy.
‘Are you going to be back late again tonight?’ Jiang Xi stopped talking about the ring, put down his hand, picked up the spoon, and slowly ate the porridge.
‘Well, I’ll be busy for a while,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him thoughtfully.
‘Then I won’t wait up for you tonight,‘ Jiang Xi said, “I’ll go to bed if I’m tired.”
’Okay,‘ Pei Chongyuan smiled, “I’ll wake you up with a kiss when I get back and we’ll do it A.”
Jiang Xi gave him a wry smile: “Go to sleep when you get back, aren’t you tired enough lately?”
’I am tired, but I feel refreshed when I see you,’ Pei Chongyuan smiled and took a bite of the fried dough stick in his hand, ’you are more than anything else that can relieve fatigue.’
Pei Chongyuan has been busy with this project for almost a month and it’s not over yet. Sometimes he stays up until midnight at the office before going home.
Jiang Xi used to think that once he had reached this position, he could actually leave a lot of things to the project leader, but Pei Chongyuan was never at ease and followed every detail.
How could he not be tired?
Pei Chongyuan was busy, so Jiang Xi didn’t bother him.
It was already time for Jiang Xi to go back to school, and the weather was gradually getting warmer.
College students returned to school one after another. Jiang Xi thought about it and decided to go back to school to live.
In a relationship, no matter how much you love each other, you should still give each other some space. Living together like this, Jiang Xi always felt a bit awkward.
It was as if she was really a canary in captivity.
He didn’t like this feeling.
On the day of returning to school, Jiang Xi packed her own luggage and drove back to school. It happened that she met Tong Ye at the gate, who had just got off the taxi.
‘Tong Ye!‘ Jiang Xi pulled over, rolled down the window and called out to him.
Tong Ye was taking suitcases out of the boot of the taxi when he heard someone call his name. He looked back, saw Jiang Xi sitting in the car, and then looked at the car’s logo again, his eyes widening.
After taking the suitcases, Tong Ye quickly closed the boot of the taxi, thanked the driver, and ran over with his luggage.
’Holy shit, Brother Xi?’
Jiang Xi looked at him and said, ‘Get in.’
Tong Ye put the suitcase in the boot and got into the passenger seat.
‘Whose car is this?’ Tong Ye didn’t have a car, but guys like to pay attention to these things. This car was the typical type that Tong Ye could only look at online and drool over, the type that he would never buy without making a fortune in his lifetime.
‘Mine,’ said Jiang Xi as he drove into the university. There were a lot of people returning to school at this time, and it took him half an hour to find a parking space.
Tong Ye was shocked: ‘Brother Xi, the rich guy’s hiding his wealth really well!’
Jiang Xi laughed, parked the car, and told him to take the luggage.
The two of them dragged the suitcases towards the dormitory, and Jiang Xi told Tong Ye about the live show at Kong Xun’s bar.
‘Great!’ Tong Ye’s smile split his lips, ‘Brother Xi has a lot of connections!’
‘No,’ Jiang Xi thought of Pei Chongyuan and laughed, ‘A friend helped a little.’
In the days after returning to school, they started rehearsing for the show. Jiang Xi took Tong Ye and the others to Kong Xun’s bar to hang out, but they didn’t meet Pei Chongyuan because he was busy.
For their performance, Gun Dog was just the opening act, and they didn’t perform for very long, so they weren’t considered important guests.
But the students all prepared for the show as if they were the main attraction, and they were so excited before going on stage.
Since Pei Chongyuan missed the last performance, he made a point of freeing up the afternoon this time, doing nothing but arriving at Subway early.
‘What are you doing here so early?’ Kong Xun scolded him as he came over, smoking a cigarette. ‘You’re not even fucking helping with the work, just causing trouble.’
‘I’m not causing trouble,’ Pei Chongyuan opened a bottle of wine himself. ‘I wanted to go to the school to pick them up, but recess wouldn’t let me.’
“Huh?’
‘Don’t be so moody,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “Did you say something to him? Now he’s got to have an underground affair with me.”
’I didn’t, don’t frame the innocent,’ Kong Xun said, holding a cigarette and an electric guitar cable. “I’m not getting involved in your affairs anymore.”
He left, leaving Pei Chongyuan sitting here alone.
Jiang Xi and the others arrived at around 3:00 p.m., arriving early for rehearsal.
As soon as he came in, he saw Pei Chongyuan and smiled instantly.
Pei Chongyuan also saw him and came over to say hello.
‘Let me introduce you,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘this is Brother Pei, my friend.’
Tong Ye was the first to come up and shake Pei Chongyuan’s hand: ‘Brother Pei! Long time no see!’
Pei Chongyuan smiled: ‘Long time no see.’
The other few people also got to know Pei Chongyuan a little, and then Jiang Xi asked, ‘Why did you come so early?’
‘I had nothing to do this afternoon, so I came early,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “I didn’t want to miss it.”
Tong Ye laughed on the side, “Yes, you didn’t even see it last time, so this time Brother Pei had to make up for it.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed along with him, “That’s right, but I can’t have any regrets, I’m a big fan of this dog-shooting show, I have to show my support.”
After a few words, Jiang Xi and the others were called to go to rehearsal, and Pei Chongyuan just stood below the stage watching, his eyes always fixed on Jiang Xi.
Tong Ye had always speculated about the relationship between Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan, but today he suddenly noticed that Pei Chongyuan was wearing a wedding ring, and that thought was suppressed.
He felt that Jiang Xi would definitely not get entangled with a married man, his brother Xi was not that kind of person.
After the rehearsal, Kong Xun invited everyone for a drink.
Jiang Xi said he was going to the bathroom, and a moment later, Pei Chongyuan followed him.
Jiang Xi looked at him and smiled, ‘You came very early today, I praise you.’
‘A verbal praise is all you’re going to get?’ Pei Chongyuan went over and stood next to him washing his hands, “You’re not sincere.”
Jiang Xi laughed and leaned over to kiss him.
Pei Chongyuan’s hands were wet and he couldn’t hug him, so Jiang Xi put her hands around his neck and took the initiative to kiss him.
The two kissed passionately and intimately in the empty bathroom, making Jiang Xi almost have a reaction.
‘Okay, we want to continue when we get home,’ Pei Chongyuan said to him, “but we can’t go on stage like this later, we can’t let anyone see.”
Jiang Xi laughed and let go of him.
Just as he let go of Pei Chongyuan’s hand, Tong Ye rushed into the bathroom.
The guy didn’t think much of the fact that the two of them were so close to each other, and went directly to the urinal to pee.
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan exchanged glances, holding back their laughter, pretending nothing had happened, and talking to Tong Ye in a perfunctory manner.
They gathered together with the rest of the group, drinking and chatting, and in the evening, they were ready to go on stage.
Jiang Xi took out his drumsticks and gently rubbed his fingers on the leather case.
These were the pair Pei Chongyuan had given him, and his name was engraved on the case.
‘Brother Xi, let’s go!’ Tong Ye called out to Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi glanced at Pei Chongyuan, and the two of them smiled at each other before turning and walking away.
This was the first time that Qiangou had performed outside of school, and although it was just a live performance in a bar and they were just opening for someone else, it was already a rare and valuable opportunity for them.
And for Jiang Xi, it had another meaning.
This was Pei Chongyuan’s first time watching him perform, even though that person had missed the first time in his life.
But Jiang Xi thought, it’s okay, life is so long, don’t always think about the missed ones, there is still more to experience together in the future.
After the lights went out, everyone quieted down.
A spotlight came down, and the lead singer sang the first line.
Immediately afterwards, the drums sounded, followed by the guitar and bass, and the performance of Gun Dog began.
Pei Chongyuan stood in the distance, watching Jiang Xi, watching the long-legged boy holding the drumsticks he had given him, immersed in a passionate world of ideals.
Utopia.
This is a beautiful boy from Utopia.
Pei Chongyuan thought, this is pretty good, spring is here, don’t be separated, as for where exactly to stop, just let it be.

Chapter 37 Two-thirds
Jiang Xi lay on the bed listening to the music, listening to Jonathan Lee sing, ‘I want it but I can’t have it, what can you do about life?’
Pei Chongyuan came in after taking a shower, singing the next line along with him, and lifting the corner of the quilt to lie down.
“I can’t let go of what I should, just talking nonsense about the past.’
He laughed, embraced Jiang Xi, and kissed his ear.
Sometimes, when something hasn’t actually happened, no one would ever think it would be there.
Just like Pei Chongyuan, on that snowy evening when he first met Jiang Xi, he would never have imagined that he and this boy would spend two springs together and then come to this bleak autumn.
Jiang Xi occasionally feels a sense of emotion, wondering how time really flies.
He and Pei Chongyuan have been together for a year and a half, and the Gun Dog club was established a year and a half ago.
He has gone from his freshman year to his junior year, and he never thought that the boring and long college life would have already passed halfway.
In this past half year, two-thirds of the time belonged to Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi turned off the player, put down his phone, and hugged Pei Chongyuan.
‘Do you have time next week?’ Jiang Xi asked.
‘Why? Do you have plans?’
‘The department is holding a basketball competition,’ Jiang Xi looked up from his arms, ‘will you come and watch?’
‘You’re playing? Then I definitely have to go watch.‘ Pei Chongyuan smiled and kissed the tip of his nose, “What day? I’ll see if I can free up my schedule.”
Jiang Xi laughed, “I might not play, I’m on the bench.”
’That’s not right, our tall, good-looking guy isn’t playing?‘
’I don’t want to,’ Jiang Xi pressed his face against his chest, “I don’t want to go.”
Jiang Xi’s voice was very soft, and the warm breath he exhaled hit Pei Chongyuan’s skin.
‘You sound so aggrieved,’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, “who made our handsome boy angry?”
Jiang Xi smiled: “No, I just don’t like it.”
He said, “I don’t really have a sense of collective honour, and apart from the band, I don’t like any other group activities.”
Pei Chongyuan was silent for a moment, feeling that he could probably understand how Jiang Xi felt.
A child who has been cheated and abandoned since childhood has an instinctive distrust of people. He cannot integrate into the group, or rather, he doesn’t want to.
People are independent individuals, but at the same time, it must be acknowledged that people are social animals. It is not a good thing for a person to keep marginalising themselves.
What’s more, Jiang Xi is only a student now, and everything is still okay. He can do what he wants, refuse to do what he doesn’t want to do, and no one can say anything.
But sooner or later, he will have to enter society.
He will have to go to work, communicate with people, and face many things he doesn’t want to face.
‘Xixi,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “I understand that you don’t want to do some things, but people always have to do things they don’t want to do. I hope you don’t always avoid things just because you don’t want to.”
Jiang Xi frowned: “This is not avoidance, it’s a choice.”
Jiang Xi let go of him and sat up.
’I don’t want to do it, and I can choose not to do it,’ Jiang Xi said. ’This is my personal decision, and my participation or non-participation will not have a big impact on them. Why do I have to make myself unhappy?’
Pei Chongyuan didn’t expect such a strong reaction from him. He smiled helplessly, reached out to pull him, and patted the back of his hand reassuringly, saying, ‘Yes, everyone has their own preferences and personalities. I’m just giving you a suggestion.’
As soon as his attitude softened, Jiang Xi’s sudden anger also died down.
It was like hitting a fist into a pillow, so he simply stopped arguing.
Jiang Xi lay back down again, still a little upset.
‘Brother Pei, I know you know more than me, but I also have my own way of doing things.‘
’I see,’ Pei Chongyuan frowned, feeling a little depressed.
In Pei Chongyuan’s opinion, Jiang Xi is good at everything, but he is too opinionated, doesn’t listen to advice, doesn’t believe in it, and is too stubborn and self-opinionated.
Pei Chongyuan always feels that compared to Jiang Xi, he is considered an ‘experienced person’ in many things, and he always wants to give him some pointers, but when he thinks about it, he is indeed too eager to be a teacher.
If Jiang Xi didn’t want to listen, that was fine, but if he said too much, it annoyed Jiang Xi and made him feel bad.
This sort of thing happened more than once, but Pei Chongyuan could never help but try to guide Jiang Xi in the direction he wanted.
He felt that these were all experiences, and there was no harm in Jiang Xi, an overly naïve student, learning from them.
Unfortunately, Jiang Xi never listened.
Pei Chongyuan never told Jiang Xi what he was really thinking, and Jiang Xi also had his own set of ideas.
For so many years, no one has ever cared about him, or rather, his parents have always tried to interfere in his life, but not really for his sake.
Jiang Xi’s rebellious spirit was aroused at a very young age. The more he was led by others, the less willing he was to move forward.
He resists being influenced by others, and is also afraid of being influenced by others.
Therefore, although he knows that Pei Chongyuan may be doing it for his own good, he doesn’t want to accept it. The habits and ideas that have been in his bones for many years are already deeply rooted.
Neither of them felt that this was their fault, nor did they feel that it was the other person’s fault. The problem was that different environments created different people. They both wanted to let it go and not talk about it anymore, but they didn’t realise that not talking about it was the biggest problem of all.
‘X, cheer for me later!’ Tong Ye handed Jiang Xi a banner after he finished warming up.
Jiang Xi couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same time. ‘Who made this for you?’
“The support group.’
‘When did you get a support group?‘
Tong Ye winked at him and laughed: “The day before yesterday, it was just set up.”
He pointed his thumb at himself: “Me, the president.”
Jiang Xi laughed: “Fuck.”
’Okay, now the president appoints you to cheer for me later, cheer well, shout until your throat is broken, and we will suppress the enemy in momentum.’
Jiang Xi looked at the banner and thought to himself that the writing was quite good, and it was obvious that it wasn’t from Tong Ye.
Tong Ye asked him, ‘Are you really not going to play? Let Qu Kai play for you.’
‘No,’ said Jiang Xi, ‘I’m here to cheer for you.’
Tong Ye laughed and put his arm around Jiang Xi’s shoulders, laughing like a willow bent in the wind.
When their class started, Jiang Xi stood there holding the flag. He couldn’t shout, so he just held the flag and let the words show.
At the end of September, although it had already entered autumn, the temperature was still very high in the afternoon.
As an alternate player, Jiang Xi still wanted to participate, so he wore a basketball uniform, but also a thin sports cardigan on top.
Tong Ye also chose the jersey. When their freshman year came around, their class formed a basketball team at the last minute, and Tong Ye volunteered to be the captain.
Tong Ye said, ‘The captain doesn’t have to be the best player, but he has to be the best-looking.’
Then, after everyone had teased him a bit, they decided to make him the captain.
Everyone was wearing the same type of uniform as Xiangbei High School. Tong Ye was wearing Sakuragi Hanamichi’s No. 10 jersey, and Jiang Xi was wearing Rukawa Kaede’s No. 11.
Jiang Xi stood there, with his slender calves exposed to the autumn sun from his knees down, his muscles beautifully proportioned.
He stood there carrying Tong Ye’s flag, his eyes only on Tong Ye, as if what the others scored had nothing to do with him.
In the second half, their class was leading, and the opponent was obviously in a hurry, repeatedly committing fouls.
Jiang Xi looked on coldly, laughing at the opponent in his heart.
But it was just a departmental competition, win if you can, if not, get lost. It’s a shame to play so dirty.
He raised his hand and rubbed his neck, then pinched his shoulders.
When the game was over in ten minutes, a guy from the other team knocked Tong Ye straight into the basketball hoop. Tong Ye’s back hit the metal frame, and when he fell, he didn’t stand up straight and twisted his ankle, falling hard.
His fall made everyone on the court panic.
The other team had deliberately fouled not once or twice, and they were all young and hot-headed guys. Who could swallow this?
The game was over, and the two groups started to fight.
When Tongye fell, Jiangxi had already casually thrown the flag to someone nearby, took off his jacket and went onto the field.
He wasn’t there to play ball, he was there to beat people up.
He was protective of his friends, and when he saw someone bullying Tongye, he was the first to step in.
Jiangxi targeted the kid who had just deliberately bumped into Tongye, rushed over, pulled away the others, and grabbed the guy and punched him.
He was ruthless and never held back.
He knocked the person to the ground with one punch, and then kicked them.
When Jiang Xi got serious, he scared everyone around him.
No one else would go all out, especially in a group fight, because no one wanted to be the one to take the brunt of the beating.
But Jiang Xi was like a panther, his eyes blazing with rage.
Tong Ye had sprained his ankle and couldn’t get up to break up the fight, so he quickly told someone to pull Jiang Xi away and calm him down.
No one else knew it, but Tong Ye had seen it before. In high school, Jiang Xi had beaten up a group of people by himself. He was truly a god of war.
‘Hurry up, hurry up,’ Tong Ye yelled, ‘Jiang Xi! My foot hurts!’
When a few people from their class pulled Jiang Xi away, Jiang Xi finally added a finishing kick, then pointed at the other person and said, ‘Watch your fucking hands!’
After that, he turned to Tong Ye, stood by his feet, looked down and asked, ‘What now? Call an ambulance? Get an injury assessment? Make him pay?’
Tong Ye laughed, ‘Come on, give me a hand, find me a wet wipe, I just bought these shoes!’
Jiang Xi glared at him when he heard that he could still joke around, then laughed and helped him up.
Tong Ye had sprained his ankle badly, and it was hard for him to stand up.
Jiang Xi grabbed his arm and put it around her neck, supporting him as they walked.
They hadn’t taken more than a few steps when they looked up and saw Pei Chongyuan standing in the crowd.
Pei Chongyuan had taken off his suit and was wearing simple, lightweight sportswear, looking like a young teacher mingling with the students.
He looked at the two of them with a smile, and when he saw Jiang Xi looking at him, he walked straight over.
‘How are you?’ Pei Chongyuan asked Tong Ye, ‘Do you need to go to the hospital?’
‘Just the school clinic will do,‘ Tong Ye said, “but what’s up, Brother Pei? Why are you here?”
’I was running an errand and passed by your school. I heard it was quite lively here, so I came in to have a look.’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him and then at Jiang Xi, who kept staring at him, and said, “Come on, I’ll lend a hand.”
Pei Chongyuan and Jiang Xi helped Tong Ye walk outside to the basketball court. Tong Ye could not move one of his feet, so he had to hop on one leg.
As he jumped, he whispered in Jiang Xi’s ear, ‘You really scared me just now. You were like a god of war. I didn’t expect that.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, just staring ahead.
‘But then again, Brother Xi is really handsome,’ Tong Ye said jokingly, ‘A heavy blow, anger so great it makes your hair turn blue, I’m so moved I’m falling in love with you!’
Jiang Xi glanced at Pei Chongyuan.
Unconsciously, Tong Ye asked Pei Chongyuan with a smile, ‘Brother Pei, did you see that? Brother Xi is so handsome!’
‘Really?’ Pei Chongyuan said with a light smile, ‘But fighting is ultimately not good. If you fight like this, the competition results will have to be cancelled, won’t they?’

Chapter 38: Possession
Although Jiang Xi usually has a bad temper, he is not an angry person without a cause.
Today, he had gathered all his anger, just waiting for an opportunity to vent it.
He had pondered Pei Chongyuan’s words for quite some time, and had even thought that if Pei Chongyuan came, he would go up and try.
As it turned out, the competition was almost over and the opponent had not shown up.
The more Jiang Xi thought about it, the more angry he became. Just as he was wondering where to vent his anger, this happened.
Now Pei Chongyuan was still there talking in a strange voice, and it didn’t sound good to him.
‘Cancel it if you want,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘but you can’t just let people bully you like that.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and smiled, without saying anything.
Tong Ye was helped to the school clinic, where the school doctor said, ‘Whenever you have a match, I’m kept busy.’
Jiang Xi stood at the door with a stern face, watching as the school doctor wrote out a prescription and told him to go get the medicine.
‘I’ll go,’ Pei Chongyuan said, taking the prescription and going out to get the medicine.
Tong Ye glanced at Jiang Xi and said with a smile, ‘You’re in a bad mood today, aren’t you?’
“No,’
‘Che, I can tell when you’re in a good mood or not,‘ Tong Ye said, “in that case, let’s go for a drink later, my treat!”
’What kind of drink are you having?’ the school doctor glanced at Tong Ye, “with your swollen feet, you’re banned from drinking!”
Tong Ye was unhappy: “My feet are swollen, not my mouth, so why can’t I drink?”
He asked jokingly, ’Did you prescribe me cefalexin?’
The school doctor sat there glaring at him: ‘If you follow the doctor’s advice, you’ll be fine. You’re not that old, but you talk a lot!’
Tong Ye winked at Jiang Xi and made faces, which made the others laugh.
When Pei Chongyuan returned with the medicine, he saw Jiang Xi leaning against the doorframe, smiling and watching Tong Ye. The two of them had a harmonious and ambiguous atmosphere.
Pei Chongyuan had heard from Jiang Xi before that Tong Ye was also gay, and the two had been ‘long-time friends’ in high school, as if they had been secretly in love with each other.
Pei Chongyuan never minded these things. Ever since he met Jiang Xi, he had understood that their relationship was completely under his control. Even though the current situation was different from what he had originally planned, he was still in control of the relationship.
He didn’t think that Jiang Xi would betray him and develop something with Tong Ye.
However, he felt uncomfortable when his own person faced a cold face towards him but talked and laughed with others.
He was very busy today, and he didn’t even have time to eat lunch because of the meeting. In the afternoon, he came out of the meeting room and didn’t plan to come here. Anyway, Jiang Xi didn’t come on stage, but after thinking about it, he drove here anyway.
When he arrived, he saw Jiang Xi fighting with someone over Tong Ye. If someone didn’t know any better, they might think that Tong Ye was his boyfriend.
How could he feel happy about that?
It was just so awkward.
Jiang Xi was such a cold person, but he had opened up to Tong Ye. Pei Chongyuan felt uncomfortable just watching.
‘What are you talking about?’ Pei Chongyuan walked in, smiling, ‘Are you having fun?’
‘What’s there to be happy about!’ Tong Ye took the medicine he handed him and said, ‘Thanks, Pei.’
Tong Ye shot the school doctor a defiant look and said, ‘Xu Doctor won’t let Brother Xi and I go drinking.’
‘Drinking?’ Pei Chongyuan looked back at Jiang Xi, ‘When?’
Jiang Xi looked up at him and said, ‘It’s not scheduled, is it?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘What if it was scheduled? Are you going to stand me up on our date tonight?’
Tong Ye sat there watching the two of them, and no matter how he looked at it, he felt that something was wrong.
Did they have a fight?
What was it about?
‘No, no,’ Tong Ye said, trying to smooth things over, ‘I said I wanted to drink, but Brother Xi ignored me.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and looked at Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi’s displeasure was written all over his face. He felt in his pockets and said, ‘I’m going out for a smoke.’
As he turned to go, the school doctor said without looking up, ‘Young people, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t stay up late, don’t fight, don’t…’
Before he could finish, Jiang Xi had already turned the corner and walked away.
Tong Ye looked at Pei Chongyuan and shrugged helplessly.
‘Brother Pei, were you two arguing?’
‘No,’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘what’s there to argue about?’
Tong Ye thought that was true.
“By the way, Brother Pei, a while ago Brother Xi said there’s another livehouse performance coming up, and you introduced it to us, thanks!’
‘I just acted as a go-between for you guys. You guys can hold your own, and that’s why you’ll have more opportunities in the future.‘
’I understand,’ Tong Ye laughed, ’about this, in the end, we still have to thank you. You said you’d just act as a go-between, but without you, we would never have had the opportunity to go beyond the school gates, don’t you think?’
Tong Ye smiled sincerely, and spoke sincerely. Pei Chongyuan could only cooperate, smile, and then look out the window, trying to find Jiang Xi’s figure.
While the two were chatting in the room, Tong Ye suddenly noticed the ring on Pei Chongyuan’s finger.
He had actually seen it a long time ago, but he had never been nosy enough to ask about it.
Today, coincidentally, the two were having a good chat, so he casually said, ‘Brother Pei, you got married quite early.’
Pei Chongyuan was under 30, and in Tong Ye’s opinion, getting married before the age of 30 was an early marriage.
Pei Chongyuan was taken aback, and then looked at his finger as Tong Ye looked at it, realising that the young man had misunderstood.
He smiled, wanting to say: ‘Why don’t you go and see what the necklace looks like that Jiang Xi is wearing around her neck?’
But then he suddenly realised that Tong Ye had asked this question because Jiang Xi had not told Tong Ye about them.
Why hadn’t she told him?
Aren’t they best friends?
Pei Chongyuan felt a knot in his stomach and was prepared to ask Jiang Xi about it when they went back that night.
‘Is it early?’ Pei Chongyuan’s question was ambiguous. ‘It seems a bit early.’
‘Well,’ Tong Ye laughed, ‘to be honest, before I thought you…’
He stopped half way through his sentence, having suddenly realised that there was also a school doctor sitting there listening to gossip.
Tong Ye looked at the school doctor, who looked amused but didn’t say anything.
Jiang Xi returned from smoking and asked, ‘Can we go?’
‘Let’s go,’ the school doctor waved his hand, ‘don’t drink, smoke less, and young people shouldn’t stay up late all the time.’
Tong Ye giggled in response and was helped away by Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan.
‘I suspect he says the same thing whenever someone comes,’ Tong Ye imitated the school doctor’s tone as they left the school hospital, ‘don’t drink, smoke less, blah, blah, blah.’
Jiang Xi laughed softly and said to him, ‘Don’t imitate others.’
Pei Chongyuan glanced at Jiang Xi, and when he looked away, he turned his head to the side.
The two men escorted Tong Ye back to the dormitory, and Jiang Xi said he was going to the cafeteria to buy Tong Ye dinner.
‘What’s the plan for tonight?’ Pei Chongyuan asked, ‘Stay at school to take care of him?’
‘He doesn’t need my care,’ Jiang Xi said, standing there and looking at him, ‘I know what you’re thinking.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘Really? Then tell me, what am I thinking?’
‘Brother Pei, sometimes you get jealous too, don’t deny it.’
Jiang Xi smiled with the corners of his mouth turned up: ‘Do you think this is a case of the wheel of fortune turning?’
In the past, it was always Jiang Xi who felt insecure and worried, and he would haggle for a while whenever he saw Pei Chongyuan talking to young boys. But today, it was Pei Chongyuan who was jealous.
Jiang Xi felt a little pleased inside.
He had no choice but to look for evidence that Pei Chongyuan loved him in such things.
It was a bit ridiculous, to be honest.
Jiang Xi said, ‘I’ll go with you after I buy him some food.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him with meaningful eyes.
‘Don’t look at me like that. When we first got together, I told you that Tong Ye and I didn’t mean anything by it,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘We’re just good friends.’
‘I didn’t say anything,’ Pei Chongyuan said, rubbing his hair with his hand.
The two had known each other for more than half a year and had been together for most of that time.
Pei Chongyuan of course knew that Jiang Xi had no ulterior motives, but was just being awkward.
It was as if Jiang Xi could escape from his control at any time, making him feel uneasy.
Pei Chongyuan thought, I have already made exceptions for you, you must and can only be mine.
At the time, Jiang Xi said to his face that he had a strong sense of possession. At that time, Jiang Xi’s words circled his ears a few times, but they didn’t get into his heart.
Now that he thinks about it again, Pei Chongyuan can probably understand why Jiang Xi said that at the time.
Apart from the factor of having been abandoned by his family, Jiang Xi loved him. It was the fire formed by the sincerity of a young person coming together. Jiang Xi was in that fire, and he also burned with that fire.
Now it’s fine, he has also become a ball of fire, and he will not allow Jiang Xi’s fire to burn more vigorously than his.
The two are competing, trying to see who can hold on to the other.
‘I’ll wait for you in the car,’ Pei Chongyuan tells him, ‘it’s parked in the usual place.’
‘Okay,’ Jiang Xi says, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking at him, ‘I’ll come and find you after I get changed.’
‘Don’t change,’ Pei Chongyuan says, looking him over and smiling, ‘this looks quite good.’
It was the first time he had seen Jiang Xi in a basketball uniform, with his slender arms and legs exposed, looking sexy in the sunlight.
If there weren’t any cameras in the dorm corridor, he would have been tempted to pull him over right now and leave a kiss mark on Jiang Xi’s arm.
‘Go ahead and keep it on,’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘It’s the first time I’ve seen it, so let me feast my eyes on it.’
Hearing this, Jiang Xi finally managed to crack a smile: ‘What do you mean, Brother Pei? Have I started to get in the way normally?’
‘Tsk, why are you so willing to find fault today?‘ Pei Chongyuan patted his arm and pinched it again, “Slow down, extinguish the anger on your head.”
When he let go of Jiang Xi, he didn’t stop directly, and his fingers slowly fell along the muscle lines of Jiang Xi’s arm, full of a sense of flirting.
’You go ahead, I’m leaving,’ Pei Chongyuan, ’but don’t let your good friend go hungry.’
Jiang Xi slapped him on the back: ‘I’ll turn off the fire, and you don’t have to be so moody. Hurry up and go, I’ll come find you later.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and went downstairs.
Jiang Xi watched his back as he walked downstairs, tilting his head and squishing the cigarette case in his pocket.
Recently, the two of them had always been like this, as if they could compete with each other for most of the day over trivial matters.
It was pointless, but they couldn’t stop.
Jiang Xi also started walking out, walking ten metres behind Pei Chongyuan, pondering, what on earth is going on?

Chapter 39: Compete
Jiang Xi couldn’t figure out what was going on, so he simply stopped thinking about it.
He ran to the cafeteria, bought Tong Ye a takeaway meal and brought it back, then casually told Tong Ye a lie, saying that he was going to his relatives’ house for the weekend and told the other person to stay in the dorms and rest, and to call if there was anything.
Tong Ye didn’t think much of it, waved him away, and with a smirk, told Jiang Xi, ‘Brother Xi, you go about your business, don’t worry about me too much!’
Jiang Xi laughed at him, ‘Who cares about you?’
Coming out of Tong Ye’s dormitory, Jiang Xi looked outside through the corridor window.
It was the end of September, and the weather was still not that cool. The leaves had not yet started to fall, and there was always a feeling that autumn had not yet arrived. However, it was definitely much colder in the morning and evening, and without the sun, the days were hard to bear.
He felt in his pocket and found that he only had one cigarette left. He went back to his dormitory and got another pack, then packed two sets of clothes and went out.
The two had been together for a year and a half. Pei Chongyuan had said more than once that he wanted Jiang Xi to move in with him, but Jiang Xi had refused.
Perhaps it was because he had not grown up in a healthy family, which made Jiang Xi feel extremely uneasy about the word ‘family’.
The two lived together, cohabiting, and the two cohabitants formed an unstable family relationship.
He was still afraid.
He had mentioned these concerns to Pei Chongyuan, who expressed his understanding and then stopped forcing him.
When Jiang Xi was not busy, he would go to Pei Chongyuan’s place on weekends, but occasionally there were performances on weekends, so he would stay at school and prepare for the performance with Tong Ye and the others.
Jiang Xi was walking towards the parking lot with a handbag in his hand. When he was about to reach the parking lot, he was suddenly stopped.
A girl ran towards him with difficulty, carrying on her shoulder the big flag that Tong Ye had made.
Jiang Xi then remembered that when he was in a hurry to get to the fight, he handed the flag to the person standing next to him, and when he left, he forgot about it.
The girl said with a smile, ‘Do I have to give this back to you?’
Not only Tong Ye’s flag, but also Jiang Xi’s jacket, which he had taken off and thrown away.
Jiang Xi took it and thanked him. The girl waved her hand and left without saying anything more.
“What is this?’
Jiang Xi was about to go back to the dormitory again to take this thing back to Tong Ye, but before he could lift a foot, he heard Pei Chongyuan’s voice.
‘Tong Ye made it himself,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘The competition is in the afternoon, so let me cheer for him.’
Pei Chongyuan walked over, tore open the flag and took a look, and then laughed.
“He’s got a lot of energy,’
‘That’s just how he is.‘ Jiang Xi handed the bag and clothes in his hands to Pei Chongyuan, “I’ll go back once more and give the flag back to him.”
Pei Chongyuan stood there without reaching out, looking at him with a half smile.
’What’s wrong again?‘ Jiang Xi frowned.
’Nothing, I’ll go with you.’ Pei Chongyuan took his clothes and bag and walked next to him.
Jiang Xi was already annoyed today because of the traffic, but the two of them were constantly talking at cross purposes, which made him even more irritated.
‘What’s wrong with you today?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘It’s like you’re deliberately picking a fight.’
‘What’s wrong with me? I’m jealous,’ Pei Chongyuan looked ahead with a smile, ‘My man, cheering for other people, getting into fights for other people, I’m not allowed to be jealous?’
Jiang Xi was momentarily stunned, and couldn’t help but laugh.
The past six months had been a bumpy ride for the two of them. Many problems had gradually come to light, and it seemed like they were competing with each other every day, trying to see who could suppress the other.
Often, before Jiang Xi knew what was going on, Pei Chongyuan would already have thrown down the gauntlet, as if he found it annoying to see who Jiang Xi was hanging out with.
He didn’t know what Pei Chongyuan was getting so upset about, and it was really annoying to be jealous.
Sometimes Jiang Xi also wonders if they were a bit hasty at the beginning.
They had just met and didn’t know each other at all, but they just walked together recklessly.
Everyone grows up differently, and their worldviews are also different. They are both people with strong opinions who can’t convince each other, and once they encounter something and have a conflict, if they really want to solve it seriously, they will inevitably have a big fight.
Fortunately, no matter what happens, Pei Chongyuan always calms down first, then coaxes him, and agrees with him. The two of them have never had a fight.
However, Jiang Xi has no idea what Pei Chongyuan is really thinking.
‘I feel aggrieved,’ Pei Chongyuan says with a smile. ‘I had a meeting all day and came here especially to see you, but instead of seeing you play tennis, I saw you sticking up for another man.
Jiang Xi tilted her head to look at him, then stopped and poked him in the chest with her finger.
‘That’s rare,’ she said. ‘After all this time, I’ve always been the one jealous of your girlfriends, and it’s rare that you know how to be jealous of me.’
Pei Chongyuan saw him smile, and his anger subsided.
Jealous?
He was quite jealous.
But it was more anger.
Pei Chongyuan often felt that he had changed so much for Jiang Xi that Jiang Xi should belong to him alone, and that he could not bear to see him even glance at another person.
‘Of course I know,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘remember what you once told me?’
Jiang Xi looked at him doubtfully.
‘I’m quite possessive,’ Pei Chongyuan said, smiling at him, ‘I can’t bear for anyone to touch anything of mine, and I get angry if anyone even looks at someone I like.’
After listening to this, Jiang Xi let out a laugh.
He took a half step back and looked at Pei Chongyuan and said, ‘So you do remember.’
‘Of course I remember. How could I not remember what you said?’
‘That’s good.’ Jiang Xi said, ‘It’s been a long time, and you’ve done pretty well. Keep up the good work, and don’t forget.’
Jiang Xi gave him a blank look and continued walking.
“Tsk, why are you unhappy again?’
‘Brother Pei, don’t play the villain first and accuse the other guy, don’t use what I said about you against me.’ Jiang Xi looked at him and said, “You and I are different, you know that in your heart.”
Jiang Xi had said long ago that Pei Chongyuan could write off whatever kind of emotional experiences he had in the past, that it was no fun to dig up the past, and that he only cared about what came after he had him.
But he couldn’t stand it when Pei Chongyuan used this sentence to talk about him.
‘It’s really quite boring that you care about Tong Ye and me,‘ Jiang Xi said. “Let me put it this way: the time we two have known each other is longer than the time we two have known each other. If we had looked at each other, there would have been nothing for you today.”
’Xi, speak nicely!‘
’You were the one who didn’t speak nicely,’ Jiang Xi said, taking the clothes and bag that Pei Chongyuan was holding. ’You go back first. I don’t want to argue with you today. I’ll stay at school tonight.’
Jiang Xi left, leaving Pei Chongyuan standing there, looking at his jersey, which the wind had blown up.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t move, until Jiang Xi turned around and was blocked by the dormitory building and couldn’t be seen anymore. Then he turned around, got back in the car and drove away.
Before he left, he sent Jiang Xi a message: ‘Calm down, I’ll call you tonight.’
After Pei Chongyuan left Jiang Xi’s school, he went to Kong Xun’s place.
The bar hadn’t opened yet, and the owner, Kong Xun, was chatting with the new bartender.
It was more like flirting than chatting.
‘Stop chatting,’ Pei Chongyuan knocked on the bar table, ‘make a drink.’
‘What’s wrong? You look like someone owes you money,’ Kong Xun laughed, ‘who? Who owes you money and won’t pay?’
Pei Chongyuan sat down and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt.
‘What do you think happened to Jiang Xi?‘
Kong Xun laughed when he heard this: “Oh, he’s just had a bad breakup.”
He sat opposite Pei Chongyuan and said, as if he were enjoying the show: “I told you that sooner or later you two would break up.”
’I’m really sorry to have disappointed you,’ Pei Chongyuan lit a cigarette and said, ’We haven’t broken up yet.’
‘That’s a real shame.‘ Kong Xun took a cigarette out of his case and lit it. “It’s been almost two years, right? I really didn’t expect it.”
When they first got together, Pei Chongyuan never really intended for it to last.
Kong Xun knew him best, and his entire outlook on love was broken. He was young when he was abducted and didn’t believe in lasting love. Two years was really something.
’Why is Jiang Xi treating you like this?’ Kong Xun asked, ‘Or did you Jiang Xi?’
‘I feel that something’s not quite right between the two of us lately.’
The bartender brought over a drink and wanted to sit down and listen to gossip, but was chased away by Kong Xun.
‘What’s not right about it?’ Kong Xun said, ‘Isn’t Jiang Xi doing just fine? I see you two still cooing all day long. As soon as he gets on stage, your eyes are glued to him, and you’d hate to strip him naked on stage.’
‘It’s not like that,‘ Pei Chongyuan laughed. “I’m not trying to strip him naked on stage, so that these people know who the little hottie belongs to.”
’Come on,‘ Kong Xun shook the ashes, “tell me, what’s wrong?”
’It’s awkward,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’do people in autumn want to get angry? It’s awkward to have a conversation.’
‘That sounds familiar,’ Kong Xun pretended to ponder, then slapped the table, “I remember! You said the same thing last year at this time!”
Kong Xun laughed, “Do you remember what the fuck you said at the time?”
He imitated Pei Chongyuan and said in a pretentious manner, “It’s been a year, it’s pretty boring, so let’s just let this winter pass and assume that our time together is over.”
After he finished, he leaned over the table and laughed.
‘You talk like shit, and at the time I was saying, if you let Jiang Xi go, I’ll fucking turn around and chase after him, what a good guy, you took advantage of him for a year.’ Kong Xun didn’t really mean it, he was just deliberately teasing Pei Chongyuan and embarrassing him with his words. ’What happened? You turned around and got all mushy with someone else, and this is another round, and you still haven’t fucking sorted it out.’
Pei Chongyuan was about to say something when Kong Xun interrupted again: ‘Wait, no, that can’t be called not having sorted things out. You simply didn’t sort things out at all. You didn’t want to split up with her at all, but just kept talking about it.’
Kong Xun leaned back in his chair and looked at him, took a drag on his cigarette, and smiled meaningfully.
“Pei, seriously, I think you’ve hit rock bottom,’ Kong Xun said, ‘We’ve known each other for so many years, I’ve seen you in all sorts of situations, but I’ve never seen you like this. Don’t deny it, the playboy persona will eventually collapse, and you just can’t leave Jiang Xi alone.’
He took a strong drag on his cigarette, and the ashes fell on his trousers. ‘My friend, I’ll be a prophet today. Believe it or not, if you two really break up, you’ll turn around and regret it.’

Chapter 40: Empathy
Pei Chongyuan was well aware of his relationship with Jiang Xi.
If they really didn’t love each other, they would not have been together for so long.
He knew exactly what was going on with him. For the first time in so many years, he had put someone at the centre of his world.
But the more he put someone at the centre of his world, the more uneasy he felt. Perhaps it was because he was used to not giving his heart away, and once it really landed in someone’s hands, he was always afraid that it would one day be lost.
He is used to controlling everything and fears the feeling of being controlled.
‘Let’s talk about it later,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I didn’t expect this kind of thing to last forever anyway.’
‘Cut the bullshit,’ Kong Xun said, ‘although I’m not a good person either, I don’t seem to have a position to say anything to you, but this thing called love is quite interesting, it can change your life more than the college entrance exam.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and scolded him, ‘you’re the only one who can talk.’
The two men chatted idly, slowly sipping their drinks. Kong Xun said, ‘Do you remember what you said when we were at school?’
‘I said a lot of things,’ Pei Chongyuan asked, staring at the burning cigarette. ‘Which one are you referring to?’
‘You said you would never fall in love,’ Kong Xun laughed mockingly, ‘Back then you were like an expert on love, talking eloquently. Now? Fuck it all!’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and shook his head.
‘No kidding with you, sometimes it’s pretty tiring,’ Pei Chongyuan said to Kong Xun, ‘it’s really hard to say about this.’
He took a drag on his cigarette and looked outside: ‘Maybe it’s just habit.’
Kong Xun looked at the flickering cigarette and picked up the bottle, taking a drink.
‘It is said that it only takes 21 days to form a new habit,’ Kong Xun said, putting the bottle down and pushing it towards him. He said teasingly, “When you want to form a new habit, let me know and I’ll help you.”
It was all just a joke. The two men smiled at each other, clinked glasses, and laughed as they drank.
When they came out of the bar, Pei Chongyuan’s designated driver had not yet arrived.
He sat in the car by himself, smoking as he opened the window.
He suddenly remembered that Jiang Xi had said that he wanted to go on a road trip during the National Day holiday. It had been more than a month since then, and he wondered if the guy still remembered.
With a cigarette in his mouth, he sent Jiang Xi a message: What are your plans for the National Day holiday?
Jiang Xi was sitting in the rehearsal room, drumming furiously. He was still holding the drumsticks that Pei Chongyuan had given him.
His phone was on the table by the window. He hadn’t seen Tong Ye’s message or Pei Chongyuan’s message.
Jiang Xi felt a fire in his heart, but he had nowhere to vent it.
Is this what happens to all lovers after a long time? Because after a long time, they start to get tired of each other?
Jiang Xi didn’t feel tired of looking at Pei Chongyuan. He still liked him, and would still wake up in the middle of the night and stare at each other endlessly when he couldn’t sleep.
Pei Chongyuan was actually no different from before to him. He still let him have his way in everything, and accommodated him in every way.
It’s still not right.
During the time they spend together, most of the time they spend doing A.
Occasionally Jiang Xi will ask Pei Chongyuan what he’s been up to recently and who he’s been hanging out with, and as they chat, they’ll drift back to the topic of the two of them and repeat the same things they’ve done countless times before.
Sometimes Jiang Xi will get lost in thought and ask himself if other couples are just like this, spending all their time doing A.
He likes having sex with Pei Chongyuan, and he enjoys it, but he always feels like something is wrong, like something is missing.
He has always known that he lacks a sense of security, and only when Pei Chongyuan is holding him does he feel at ease, so he keeps asking for more. But for some reason, at first it was okay, but the more he did it, the more uneasy he felt.
When the two of them have sex, he will gaze dreamily at the ring on Pei Chongyuan’s hand, and he will bite the ring he wears around his neck and can’t help but frown.
They tried many positions, but slowly, it seemed that none of them could make him as happy as before.
Jiang Xi was very confused, but didn’t know who to go to for answers.
When the last drum beat fell, Jiang Xi suddenly remembered the conversation they had when they were chatting before.
That day, they stayed at home and watched a movie. Jiang Xi asked Pei Chongyuan to comment on it, but Pei Chongyuan said, ‘It’s not real.’
“Why?’
‘Where is there such love?’ Pei Chongyuan stood up, smiled, lit a cigarette, and said as he walked towards the backyard, “To be able to remember someone after being apart for so many years, that can only happen in movies.”
At that time, Jiang Xi looked at him and wanted to ask something, but didn’t.
If we were to part, would you remember me?
It had been a long time, but suddenly he thought of it again that night.
Jiang Xi wanted to ask again: If we separate, will you be sad? How long will you remember me?
He sighed, gathered his courage, and prepared to go back to the dormitory.
Jiang Xi didn’t want to separate, and never thought about separating.
He put on his coat and went to the table to get his phone.
He clicked on the screen to see missed calls and messages, glanced at them, and replied to Pei Chongyuan first.
He had just sent a ‘let’s talk later’ when Pei Chongyuan’s phone rang.
‘Didn’t you say before that you wanted to go on a road trip on the 11th?’ Pei Chongyuan had already arrived home by this point, but instead of going inside, he sat in the car and called Jiang Xi. ‘The holiday is almost here, so why don’t we plan something?’
Jiang Xi had not yet left the teaching building when he heard Pei Chongyuan say this, and he suddenly froze.
He smiled, genuinely surprised that Pei Chongyuan could still remember this.
At the time, he had just mentioned it casually, and Pei Chongyuan had not expressed an opinion, so he had thought that the matter was settled.
‘Do you have time?’ Jiang Xi sat on a bench in the lobby on the first floor, facing the huge French windows.
He suddenly remembered that when he and Pei Chongyuan had first met, they had also sat here, waiting for Pei Chongyuan to pick him up.
He had had a fever that day.
Jiang Xi remembered what Li Zongsheng sang in that song: love is nothing more than a high fever.
This fever that he has for Pei Chongyuan has been going on since then, and it will probably continue for a long time.
‘It has to be,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile. ‘I have seven days off. Why don’t you plan something? I’ll go wherever you go.’
I’ll go wherever you go.
What a lovely thing to say.
Jiang Xi smiled, his fingers rubbing the lapels of his overcoat.
“Okay,’
Pei Chongyuan heard his laughter. His heart, which had been so heavy, felt as if a window had been opened and some air let in.
‘Tomorrow is Saturday. I’ll pick you up,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘Let’s plan this together. We’ll be on holiday soon, and if we’re going to take a road trip, there’s a lot to prepare.’
‘Okay, I’ll wait for you.’
Since the two of them had become a couple, Jiang Xi had felt like he had a home.
Although he didn’t admit it and didn’t want to think about it, it was true that on many holidays, he was no longer alone.
The two of them have spent two Chinese New Years and more than a dozen holidays together.
Whenever Pei Chongyuan has free time, the two of them spend it together.
Their lives are so simple that they only have sex and sweet nothings to talk about, which seems very sweet, but in the end, it always seems like something is missing.
Therefore, Jiang Xi attaches great importance to this road trip. After making plans with Pei Chongyuan, he stayed up all night researching information and arranging the itinerary.
However, it all fell through.
Pei Chongyuan had a sudden business matter, and his vacation was changed to a business trip.
Jiang Xi is not an inconsiderate person, and of course he could not stop him if there was something going on, but he felt a little bad about it.
‘Why don’t you come with me?’ Pei Chongyuan said jokingly, ‘That’s not bad. I’ll go out to work during the day, and then I can still have sex with you when I go back to the hotel at night. It’ll be like we’re on vacation.’
Under normal circumstances, Jiang Xi might have taken this as a joke, laughed a few times, and let it go. They had not never not exchanged such jokes.
But not today. Jiang Xi was angry. His expectations had been dashed, and Pei Chongyuan’s words had hit a nerve.
‘Am I your fucking inflatable doll?’ Jiang Xi looked at Pei Chongyuan coldly. ‘Do I deserve to spend my vacation waiting in an empty house for you to fuck me?’
‘…… I didn’t mean it that way,‘ Pei Chongyuan didn’t expect him to really blow up because of this sentence, so he quickly pulled his hand to appease him while the red light was on, “This isn’t a joke.”
’I’m not in the mood to joke with you today,’ Jiang Xi said coldly, pulling back his hand and turning his head to look out the window, “You can’t be blamed for this, it’s the company’s decision, what can you do?”
Pei Chongyuan smiled and rubbed his hair: “Yes, so you understand.”
I understand.
Jiang Xi frowned and looked outside. There was nothing he could do if he felt unhappy, and he couldn’t help not understanding.
That night, Jiang Xi didn’t sleep. He watched Pei Chongyuan’s sleeping face and frowned, thinking all sorts of things.
The result of staying up until dawn was that he felt even worse the next day. He completely shut himself in the study upstairs and didn’t come out. He didn’t even see Pei Chongyuan off at the airport.
Jiang Xi left in the afternoon of the day Pei Chongyuan left.
He booked a hotel, bought a plane ticket, and set off on a trip by himself.
He didn’t want to stay at Pei Chongyuan’s house, and the thought of not having Pei Chongyuan’s house made him anxious.
Going out for fun would be good, to clear his mind.
These days, he was always anxious about relationship issues, and it made him feel like a different person.
He was worried about everything.
He was petty.
Is this what people in love are like?
Jiang Xi lay on the hotel bed, looking out at the sunshine, despising himself for being like that.
He sent a message to Tong Ye: What are you doing?
Tong Ye quickly called back: ‘Brother Xi! What are you doing?’
‘Travelling,’ said Jiang Xi. ‘It’s so hot here, I wore short sleeves as soon as I got off the plane.’
Tong Ye was shocked: ‘Where?’
Jiang Xi said the name of the place and asked Tong Ye: ‘What are you busy with?’
He could hear that Tong Ye’s place was buzzing with activity, and he was a little curious.
‘I’m shopping with my mom. There seems to be a celebrity in the mall, and it’s packed with people.’
Jiang Xi laughed, but after a while he felt a little lonely.
The two of them chatted for a while, and after hanging up, Jiang Xi let out a deep sigh.
He missed Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi was stubborn, and in the morning he hadn’t even said goodbye, so now he didn’t want to contact the other person.
He didn’t know when Pei Chongyuan would call him, and he didn’t know if the other person would contact him.
After all, he had been the one throwing a tantrum before, and it was quite annoying.
Jiang Xi rolled over, grabbed the pillow and covered his head. He had no desire to go out and play, so he fell asleep on the bed.
He didn’t know how long he slept for, and was finally woken up by the phone.
‘Xiao Xi, what are you doing?”
The call was from Pei Chongyuan. Across the mountains and rivers, he was already wearing a sweater, but Jiang Xi was still wearing short sleeves, as if a whole season had passed.
Jiang Xi was still half asleep and hadn’t fully woken up.
He held the phone and murmured, like a spoiled child, “Brother Pei…”
Pei Chongyuan laughed when he heard his voice.
Before leaving, Jiang Xi ignored him no matter what he said, and he was quite unhappy about it.
They were both human, and no one really had no temper at all.
Pei Chongyuan believed that the responsibility for this incident was not entirely his, and indeed he had something urgent to do, so there was nothing he could do. He had apologised properly, but when Jiang Xi’s temper flared up, he wouldn’t listen to anything he said, and he also lost his temper.
When he left, he deliberately knocked on the door of the study, but the result was that no one paid any attention to him, and Pei Chongyuan was also angry.
He was angry all the way, got off the plane, and suddenly Pei Chongyuan thought, ‘Why am I doing this?
Why get angry with a child?
After arriving at the hotel, he rested for a while, met with the partner briefly to chat, and then immediately called.
Pei Chongyuan was thinking that if he got through to Jiang Xi, they could have a good chat. Jiang Xi is stubborn, so if he’s not happy, he should coax him a bit. Isn’t that what children are like? They have to be coaxed.
But he didn’t expect that as soon as the other person picked up, they started to act spoiled, and he laughed.
All the anger from before was gone, and so was the resentment.
Pei Chongyuan asked softly, ‘Are you sleeping?’
Jiang Xi hadn’t woken up yet, and his response was a little slow. He rolled over and slowly said, ‘Mm.’
‘So I woke you up?’
Jiang Xi took a moment to compose himself, and then realised that he wasn’t at home, but lying in a hotel room.
His mind slowly cleared, and he realised that the person who had called was Pei Chongyuan.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi sighed.
‘Yes, what is it?’
‘I’m apologising to you.’ Jiang Xi sat up, then got out of bed barefoot and stood on the balcony.
It was just the right time in the evening for the sun to set in the city.
He faced west and looked at the sky, which had been dyed a pinkish orange.
The view was beautiful, and the temperature was just right.
If only Pei Chongyuan were by his side at this time.
‘I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you,‘ Jiang Xi said. “I should have been more understanding.”
Pei Chongyuan softened when he heard his voice.
’It’s okay, it’s not all your fault.‘
’Do you think other people in relationships are like this?’ Jiang Xi asked. ’Sensitive, suspicious, selfish, and petty.’
‘But you don’t have any of those things.‘ Pei Chongyuan didn’t want to hear him say that, “Xiao Xi, you have to know that when two people get together, they have to slowly get used to each other. Some people will find that after the passion has worn off, they are not a good match, while others will become more and more compatible over time.”
’So which one do you think we are?’ Jiang Xi asked, ’Brother Pei, which one do you think we are?’

Chapter 41: Vulgaria
Pei Chongyuan’s words to Jiang Xi were well-reasoned, but when asked, he remained silent for several seconds.
‘Do you really need to ask?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘It’s been almost two years between us, and you’re still doubting?’
Jiang Xi let out a light laugh, deliberately trying to ignore the seconds of silence.
‘What are you doing?’ Pei Chongyuan asked, ‘Have you been waiting for me at home?’
‘Of course not,‘ Jiang Xi said, lighting a cigarette and sitting in the rocking chair on the balcony of the hotel room. “I’m out.”
’Where have you been?‘ Pei Chongyuan’s tone was a little tense, with a hint of suppressed displeasure at Jiang Xi not reporting in advance.
’Don’t sulk and go running off. Where are you going? Wait for me to come back and keep you company.’
‘No need,‘ Jiang Xi said. “You go about your business. I’m a big boy, I won’t lose myself if I go out.”
Pei Chongyuan frowned here and asked him, “When are you going back?”
’Seven days,‘ Jiang Xi said. “The last flight on the last day of the holiday.”
’Tsk, is this on purpose?‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “Didn’t I tell you? I’ll be back on the fifth.”
’I’ll be back on the seventh.’ Jiang Xi was still competing.
He suddenly realised that he had always put Pei Chongyuan first and had to make way for the other person in everything. When had he, Jiang Xi, ever been so subservient?
He loved Pei Chongyuan, but he didn’t want to keep accommodating him.
It was exhausting.
It wasn’t like him at all.
Why did loving someone have to be like this?
‘Then I’ll come and find you after I’m done?’ Pei Chongyuan asked tentatively.
‘No,’ Jiang Xi refused, “let me spend this holiday on my own, and you relax too. I’m always with you, and I’m afraid you’re tired.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed, “Don’t talk nonsense.”
Listening to Pei Chongyuan’s voice, Jiang Xi looked outside while smoking, and said softly, “Brother Pei, the scenery here is particularly good, so if you have the chance in the future, come together.”
Pei Chongyuan didn’t ask where it was, but answered, ’Okay.’
During the long holiday of the 11th, Jiang Xi walked through unfamiliar streets on his own, went to unfamiliar restaurants to eat and drink and watch performances, and in the evening, he came out of the bar and walked slowly along the beach by himself.
The waves lapped the beach, and in his ears were the giggles of children who were reluctant to go to bed.
He stood there, looking at the footprints he had just left on the road, and watching the sea come in and wash away his mark.
It was as if he had never been here before.
Seeing everyone else in groups with company, Jiang Xi felt a little lonely. He sat down and looked out at the endless sea, thinking about Pei Chongyuan.
On the fifth day of the holiday, Jiang Xi was too lazy to go out, so he simply stayed in the hotel, even ordering takeaway for dinner.
He lay in bed looking at the information on his flight ticket, hesitating whether to go back early.
After all, today was the end of Pei Chongyuan’s business trip, and he would be going back too.
Jiang Xichang had always been the type of person who could do anything on his own, but after meeting Pei Chongyuan, he felt that life was boring without the other person around, and he lost his motivation.
While looking at the plane ticket, Kong Xun suddenly called.
‘Big brother,’ Jiang Xichang answered the phone.
It was a little after ten in the morning, and Kong Xun had just opened his eyes, yawning and dozing.
‘Jiang Xi,‘ Kong Xun said, squinting at the screen of his phone to make sure he had the number right. “There’s something I just wanted to tell you.”
’Yes, what is it?‘
’Are you guys free next week?‘ Kong Xun looked at the desk calendar. “Next Saturday, my friend’s livehouse wants to invite you over.”
’The one in Huainan Hutong?‘
’Yes, it’s his place,’ Kong Xun said. ’You went there last time, and there were quite a few people.’
‘Okay, that should be possible. I’ll ask them later if they’re all free that day.‘
’Okay, then I’ll see. I need to find it,’ Kong Xun thought about giving his friend’s contact information directly to Jiang Xi, and letting them set a time to go themselves. “They have a dedicated person in charge of this matter this time. Wait a minute, let me find it…”
Kong Xun switched Jiang Xi’s phone to the background and started flipping through the phone’s address book.
Before he could find it, the other phone rang.
He glanced over his shoulder and saw that the caller was Pei Chongyuan.
‘What the hell is wrong with you calling at this hour?’
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’m outside your shop, open the door.’
Kong Xun cursed under his breath and reluctantly got out of bed.
He lived on the third floor of the bar, yawning in his pajamas as he walked out of the bedroom and stumbled downstairs.
Pei Chongyuan had also had a bad day. He was supposed to come back tonight, but everything was settled early, and he didn’t want to stay there any longer, so he changed his flight and took an early flight.
He took a taxi home, but the tire burst halfway, and he almost got hurt.
He could have just taken a different taxi, but it so happened that there was a Subway just around the corner. Pei Chongyuan, who was still angry from not having eaten, dragged his suitcase straight to Kong Xun.
Kong Xun opened the door and cursed, ‘What the hell are you doing up so early?’
‘Get me something to eat,’ Pei Chongyuan said as he came in, casually setting his suitcase down, hanging up his coat in the closet, and expertly taking a bottle of wine.
“Where are you going?’
‘Where? I just got back.‘ Pei Chongyuan sat at the bar and opened the bottle of wine. He suddenly remembered the first time he drank with Jiang Xi. The man opened the bottle cap with his teeth, which was both handsome and sexy.
He smiled, rubbed his neck, and took a sip of wine on an empty stomach.
’Just got back? What were you doing?’ Kong Xun casually gave him a bag of shredded squid, ’Make do with it, who the hell cooked for you in the morning?’
Pei Chongyuan glared at him and stretched.
‘Seriously, what were you doing?’ Kong Xun sat opposite him and opened a bottle of wine as well. ‘I remember you saying before that you were going out on the 11th. So soon back?’
‘Fuck playing,’ Pei Chongyuan sighed. ‘I went on a business trip.’
Kong Xun was stunned, then laughed again.
‘The same project as last time?’
“Mm.’
‘Fuck, are you fucking on a business trip or seeing a mistress?‘
’Seeing your mother’s mistress,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “I’ve told you a thousand times, I have nothing with that Xiang Ran, it’s just his uncle, always trying to use him to contain me and get something out of it.”
’His uncle is really good, what does he think he is?’
‘It’s not even a real uncle, anyway. He’s not a good person,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “Xiang Ran is a nice kid, but he’s a bit simple and can’t think outside the box.”
’Oh, you pity him.”
Pei Chongyuan: “Pity my ass.”
The company took on the project and assigned him to deal with it. He had no choice but to go.
If he went, some things were unavoidable, and he was quite upset himself.
He really doesn’t want to work with such unruly people who always think of taking shortcuts, but that Xiang always manages to get their company’s bid every year.
As for that Xiang Ran, he is being used by his uncle, and he is stupidly jumping in. Pei Chongyuan doesn’t want to play with them at all.
‘I can see you’re still not paying attention,‘ Kong Xun said, squinting and drinking sleepily. “It’s been almost two years, right? How did Jiang Xi end up with a shithead like you? You didn’t pay attention at the beginning, and now you’re still acting like this. I saw right through you.”
’Hello? How dare you talk to me like that?’ Pei Chongyuan felt uncomfortable in his stomach after drinking on an empty stomach, so he got up and thought about getting something to eat.
‘Hey, seriously, when that guy Ran came before, I thought he really looked like your type,’ Kong Xun teased him, “what’s the deal? You were muttering something about maybe not being sure, but you already had plans in mind, didn’t you?”
Kong Xun threw his slippers at him: “This winter, you’re going to replace this little heating pad, right?”
Pei Chongyuan didn’t hear him, and went into the back to look for ingredients.
Kong Xun took a sip of wine and stood up as well. He skipped on one leg to put on his slippers and followed Pei Chongyuan over.
He hadn’t been awake in the first place, and with all the interruptions, he had long forgotten that he had his phone in his pajama pocket.
Jiang Xi was sitting on the big bed in the hotel. When he hung up the phone, cold sweat was beading on his back.
Sometimes it’s really ironic. You never know how unbelievable the news will be when you get a phone call.
I didn’t pay attention at the beginning.
Son of a bitch.
I’ll find someone else this winter.
You son of a bitch.
It’s a perfect match.
Jiang Xi’s eyes reddened as he clenched his phone in his hand and then threw it hard at the TV screen opposite.
The phone shattered.
A crack appeared on the TV screen.
Looking at the crack, he felt as if his heart had been broken by Pei Chongyuan, hard and unyielding.
It had been broken, and what fell out was not powdered debris, but a pool of blood.
Did you not care at the beginning?
Jiang Xi almost bit his teeth.
You didn’t care at the beginning.
He took the water on the bedside table and his hands trembled when he unscrewed the cap.
Jiang Xi drank the bottle of water in one go and then vomited it up when he got up.
He forgot where he had read before that extreme sadness can trigger vomiting.
At the time, he didn’t believe it.
Now he doesn’t believe it either, but not that extreme sadness can trigger vomiting, but that he would feel so miserable.
It was a beautiful day outside, but he felt as if he had been pushed into an ice cellar.
His whole body was cold, as if he were dead.
He looked back at the bed, and there was no corpse on it, so he was indeed still alive.
Jiang Xi looked at his phone again, hesitated, and finally didn’t call Pei Chongyuan.
He went to the toilet and, as he passed by his phone, stepped on it, feeling a sharp pain in the sole of his foot.
It seemed that he suddenly understood why the two of them had been constantly fighting over the past few days over seemingly trivial conflicts.
Pei Chongyuan was deliberately trying to murder their relationship.
Jiang Xi took a cold shower, tidied himself up, took out the SIM card and went downstairs.
He went to a nearby shopping mall to buy a new phone, then returned to the hotel to book a flight.
Without a moment’s rest, he finished packing, took his luggage downstairs, checked out, paid the penalty, and took a taxi to the airport.
On the way to the airport, he sent a message to Pei Chongyuan: ‘Pei, I’m going home now, see you tonight.’
As the plane took off, Jiang Xi looked outside. The sunlight was blinding, but he stared straight into it without flinching.
As the plane lurched, it left the ground and rushed towards the clouds.
He looked at the city, which was getting further and further away, and suddenly felt as if he were looking down on his dead body. His soul withdrew, looking at the ridiculous world and the ridiculous him.
Jiang Xi closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat.
He suddenly remembered what he had said to Pei Chongyuan in the past.
I lost a lot when I was young, and when I grew up, I told myself that as long as it was mine, no one else could take it, and if they dared to take it from me, I wouldn’t let them get away with it.
If something that is mine betrays me, even if I can’t bring myself to destroy it, I will throw it away like garbage, and the same goes for people.
When he said these words, Jiang Xi did not realize that Pei Chongyuan had never really listened.
In the end, their two years turned out to be a vulgar comedy, so laughable that it made people cry.
When Jiang Xi returned home, the first thing he said to Pei Chongyuan was: ‘Brother Pei, I don’t want you anymore.’
He was calm, restrained, and decisive.
He announced:
“I don’t want you anymore.’

Chapter 42: Tattoos
Jiang Xi arrived home nearly an hour later than usual. Even before he entered the door, he heard Tail whimpering inside.
He opened the door, and before he had a chance to change his shoes, he was embraced by Tail.
Tail was a golden retriever that Jiang Xi had picked up the year before. It was raining heavily, and the puppy, whose tail had been broken by a bully, was huddled in the alleyway, whimpering.
Jiang Xi had never wanted to keep an animal, but when he saw this miserable little creature, he felt his heart ache.
He wrapped the trembling puppy in his clothes and took it to the nearby animal hospital. It was severely malnourished, and its tail could no longer be saved.
Jiang Xi adopted it and took care of it as his own family.
Two years have passed, and the poor little dog that was drenched and dirty in the rain has grown into a gentle and understanding big dog, standing half as tall as a person.
Unfortunately, no matter how happy it is, it cannot wag its tail like other dogs to let its owner know how happy it is.
But it doesn’t matter, Jiang Xi can still read its mind without a tail.
‘Okay, okay,’ Jiang Xi said, rubbing his head vigorously, which Tail had been licking for a long time. “You have to let me change my shoes before I can cook for you.”
Tail seemed to understand, let go of Jiang Xi, took a couple of steps back, and sat down to watch him.
Jiang Xi smiled contentedly, thinking to himself that this dog was much more sensible than some people.
He changed his shoes and then his clothes, before going to the kitchen to cook some meat for Tail.
After graduating from university, he had wanted to leave the city, but then Kong Xun called and said that he had found out that he had stomach cancer and didn’t know how long he had to live, and asked if he would take over Subway.
Jiang Xi didn’t want to, but when he saw Kong Xun, his heart softened.
Kong Xun said, ‘I guess I have done more evil, and in my thirties, I have suffered retribution.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything. He actually wanted to tell Kong Xun that the evil person was someone else, but over the past few years, they had all kept quiet about that evil person, as if he had never existed.
So they just let it go. What’s the point of talking about it? It’s so boring.
Jiang Xi watched Kong Xun grow more and more emaciated day by day. At first, he was able to grit his teeth and hold on, but in the end, he gave in and agreed.
He couldn’t bear to set foot in that bar again.
Kong Xun waved his hand and said, ‘Do as you like, I just want to live now.’
Jiang Xi sold the villa he had lived in for several years. His father didn’t dare ask many questions after learning about it. After all, he had seen his son getting more and more aggressive over the years, and didn’t even want to see his face.
Not meeting with him, Jiang Xi was happy to be left alone.
Jiang Xi gave Kong Xun all the money from selling the house as a down payment for buying the bar.
Kong Xun said, ‘My shop is not worth that much.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything and left.
Later, Jiang Xi’s account received another transfer from Kong Xun, and he returned more than half of it.
The bar changed hands and Jiang Xi became the owner.
It was redecorated, the name was changed, and even the waiters and bartenders in the store were replaced.
The noisy bar before became a quiet bar, and Subway was changed to 2008.
There are no more performances in the bar, and Gun Dog has never performed on stage again. Jiang Xi no longer plays the drums, and he is no longer an idealist who falls in love with someone recklessly.
After the bar opened, business was lukewarm at first. Most of the people who came here were regulars at Subway and didn’t like the quiet bar.
During that period, Jiang Xi was living in straitened circumstances. He sold his car and held on. Fortunately, business started to pick up in the past year and a half, and he finally made a profit.
He bought a small house near his university, with two bedrooms and a living room, 80 to 90 square metres, which he shares with his dog, and it’s not bad.
Every day is very regular. Although he owns a bar, he never stays late at the store. Basically, he’ll be home by 8 or 9 o’clock, clean up, feed his dog, and take him out for a walk.
Jiang Xi has finished cooking the meat on the bone, and is crouching there watching his dog eat.
Before Tail finished eating the meat, Jiang Xi’s phone rang.
He stood up, followed the sound back to the door, and found the phone in the pocket of his overcoat hanging on the hanger.
‘Brother Xi!’
Jiang Xi smiled, ‘Speak.’
The caller was Tong Ye.
After graduating from university, Tong Ye took a test for no particular reason and became a music teacher in an elementary school.
Jiang Xi once went to see Tong Ye, and happened to catch him in the middle of a lesson. He was curious, so he went to the back of the class to watch. He watched Tong Ye playing the electronic organ and teaching a group of children wearing red scarves to sing ‘Grandpa Makes Mooncakes for Me’, and he nearly laughed himself to death.
“I just suddenly remembered something!’ Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng were strolling downstairs after dinner, stepping in the snow, chatting about this and that, when they got to Jiang Xi. Then Tong Ye suddenly remembered something important: ‘Last Wednesday was your birthday, wasn’t it?’
Jiang Xi was taken aback and asked, ‘What’s the date today?’
‘Last Wednesday was the 13th, anyway.’
The 13th.
It was as if an electric current had suddenly passed through Jiang Xi’s spine, short-circuiting his thoughts and numbing his hands and feet.
Last Wednesday, the 13th.
He never remembered his birthday, and if no one mentioned it, he would deliberately not pay attention to it.
It was not a day worth celebrating for him.
What made his spine tingle was not Tong Ye reminding him of the date, but the sudden memory of Pei Chongyuan’s sudden appearance and his invitation to the so-called birthday banquet, which was scheduled for that day.
Even though Jiang Xi didn’t want to remember, he still couldn’t help remembering Pei Chongyuan’s birthday.
In February, not October.
So when Pei Chongyuan called him that day, he just ignored him, thinking that he was being disgusting and deceitful as usual.
But he never imagined that it was his birthday party.
‘What’s wrong?’ Tong Ye asked, seeing that Jiang Xi hadn’t said anything for a long time. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Cooking for Tail,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘The past is in the past. It’s not an important day.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you,‘ Tong Ye said. “Are you doing anything tomorrow? Xia Sheng and I will come over for a drink!”
’Sure,‘ Jiang Xi said, “just come straight to the store, don’t be too late.”
’I know, you have to go home and serve your dog son, I understand.”
Jiang Xi laughed and scolded him a little, set a time to meet tomorrow, and hung up the phone.
Putting the phone on the coffee table, Jiang Xi sighed.
Tail had already finished eating and came trotting over to Jiang Xi to be spoiled.
Jiang Xi laughed and played with him for a while, then looked out the window.
It was still snowing heavily outside, and the snowflakes that were dancing wildly in the sky seemed to be like disillusioned dancers who had finally found their stage.
He stroked Tail’s neck and asked, ‘Do you want to go out in the snow?’
Tail tilted his head to look at him, then fetched the leash for walking dogs on his own.
Jiangxi was amused by his antics and stood up helplessly, saying, ‘Okay, let’s go.’
He looked in the small cabinet and found Tail’s four little shoes.
It had snowed in the north, and the ground was cold. If Tail went out for a walk without shoes, it would freeze and not be able to walk.
Tail was very obedient, and even knew how to lift its feet when putting on its shoes.
Jiangxi put on Tail’s shoes, rubbed its big head, put on his jacket, and took it downstairs.
The residential area where Jiang Xi lives was built in recent years and the occupancy rate is not that high. Usually, there are no people downstairs, let alone when it snows and no one comes out.
He walked the dog in the heavy snow. It wasn’t that cold, but the snow getting into his collar was icy and cold, which invigorated him.
Tail was happy, wearing little shoes, not afraid of cold feet, and playing in the snow.
Jiang Xi’s mobile phone rang. It was a WeChat message from Qin Song.
Qin Song: Brother Xi, there’s no one here anymore, I can close the door!
Jiang Xi sent him a voice message in return: ‘Close it. Lock the door when you go to bed at night. Be careful.’
Qin Song lives in the store, so Jiang Xi gave him a few more pieces of advice.
‘Don’t worry,’ Qin Song replied, ‘see you tomorrow!’
In the time it took to send the two messages, Jiang Xi’s hands had frozen cold. He put his hands in his pockets, and a few minutes later, his phone rang again.
After they parted that year, Jiang Xi didn’t delete Pei Chongyuan’s contact information, but instead simply changed his phone and number himself.
At first, when the other person called, he could recognise the number at a glance.
The 11 digits were like a wound that had been sewn up, leaving him bloody and confused.
But wounds always heal.
It’s enough to heal and leave an ugly scar to remind oneself of one’s naivety and stupidity back then.
When he sees that person again, he can now smile with complete equanimity and say, ‘Get lost.’
Just like now, when his phone vibrates and he receives a text message.
These days, how many people still send text messages?
He takes it out and looks at the unfamiliar series of numbers.
It is indeed unfamiliar, and he is only sure that he recognises the first three and last two digits.
The text message reads: Xiao Xi, I can’t find one of my cufflinks, maybe it’s on your bike.
Jiang Xi snorted derisively and clicked delete.
He would never fall for such a trick again.
He put his phone back in his pocket, took out a cigarette and smoked as he walked.
After walking the dog, he returned home.
The warmth of the dog and his company helped to warm him up a little.
The dog ran off to its den to sleep, and Jiang Xi changed his clothes and went to take a shower.
The warm water pouring down from above cleared his head and made his groggy mind feel much better.
After the shower, he stood in front of the mirror, drying himself with a towel, and then turned around to read the small words on his waist.
Those words were what Pei Chongyuan had said to him when they broke up.
Although it was Jiang Xi who had proposed the breakup, he was convinced that Pei Chongyuan had dumped him.
It was Pei Chongyuan who dumped him.
Even though he knew how intolerant he was of deceit and false affection, he still played the part of a seemingly gentle lover.
This was Pei Chongyuan, who, without regard for his feelings or true feelings, treated his sincere heart as a plaything and was prepared to abandon him when he was not expecting it.
Pei Chongyuan abandoned his sincere heart, abandoning him in his heart, and it had nothing to do with who said the words of parting first.
The two of them had an argument that day, and at the end, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Jiang Xi, your idealism will sooner or later get you into trouble!’
His words made Jiang Xi, who was extremely agitated, suddenly calm down.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Didn’t you say you would protect my idealism? Pei Chongyuan, after all this time, you have actually killed it with your own hands.’
That scene, many years later, Jiang Xi still cannot forget. He was very disappointed, more so than the pain brought to him by the failure of love.
After that, he was truly no longer the idealistic young man living in a utopia. He became more sharp and indifferent. Even when Pei Chongyuan came to see him later, he always treated him coldly.
Jiang Xi rubbed his finger against the tattoo.
Murdering idealism.
Pei Chongyuan murdered the once passionate and vibrant Jiang Xi.
He murdered his idealism and love.

Chapter 43: Long live love
Jiang Xi woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. His cat Tail, who had been sleeping in the living room, also woke up and ran in, jumping onto the bed.
He hugged Tail and rubbed him, listening in silence to the noise from upstairs.
There weren’t many families living in their building, and the couple upstairs were probably a young married couple who often quarrelled and picked fights in the middle of the night.
At one point, Jiang Xi suspected that the couple upstairs were a ghost couple. Otherwise, why were they so energetic in the middle of the night, when they were quiet during the day?
He sat on the bed with his tail resting on his lap.
Upstairs, there was a clanging sound, as well as the sound of things being broken, in addition to the quarrels and bickering.
His sleep quality had been very poor in the past two years. He had shallow sleep and woke up at the slightest noise, and it was difficult for him to fall asleep.
With all the noise upstairs, he was unable to sleep.
Jiang Xi took the laptop computer that was on the bedside table, turned it on, and looked for a movie to watch.
The movie he clicked on at random was 118 minutes long, with very few lines, and more of a fixed setting and obscure emotions.
After watching it, Jiang Xi went to the balcony alone and smoked three cigarettes.
The movie was called ‘Long Live Love,’ but the irony was that there was no love here.
There were two men and one woman, and it wasn’t a setup where he loved him and he loved her. They were just projections of each other’s longing.
If there is a trace of love, it is probably Xiaokang’s acceptance of his homosexuality, and finally, while A Rong is asleep, he leaves him with a gentle kiss, restrained but moving.
This movie brought Jiang Xi an indescribable oppression and depression that evening, and three cigarettes could not dispel the melancholy.
There is no love in this city.
Tails followed him, lying at his feet and rubbing his head against him like a spoiled child.
Jiang Xi laughed and put out his cigarette, crouching down to pet him.
‘You’re not sleeping at night, what are you doing?’ Jiang Xi said softly, ‘It’s not good for you to have insomnia at such a young age.’
Tail seemed to understand what he said, and directly fell into his arms, closing his eyes and pretending to sleep.
Jiang Xi couldn’t stop laughing, patting him: ‘Stop it, go back to your den and sleep.’
Tail didn’t move.
“Then come back to my room and sleep?’
Tail up.
Jiang Xi couldn’t help laughing, and led him to the bedroom. He couldn’t help but feel: ‘Now even dogs understand people better than people do.’
Jiang Xi, who hadn’t slept well that night, woke up at the crack of dawn.
It was still noisy upstairs. He looked at the ceiling, and even wickedly wished that they would divorce as soon as possible.
His body ached, and his head felt dizzy.
Jiang Xiguang walked out of the bedroom barefoot. He had just picked up a glass of water in the living room when he saw Tail come out with his slippers in its mouth.
‘Good boy,’ Jiang Xiguang smiled at it and put on his slippers.
After that, it was just a daily routine of making coffee, cooking, changing clothes and walking the dog.
The heavy snowfall yesterday caused a lot of trouble. When Jiang Xi went downstairs, he found that the roads in the residential area had been cleared, and all the snow had been piled up on both sides.
He guessed that the property security guards had been busy cleaning up all night.
The tail was running in front, Jiang Xi followed behind, clutching the leash. Watching the tail jump around and those two big ears about to fly off, he couldn’t help but smile.
It’s pretty good living like this.
He can’t quite remember what his old self was like. The arrogant, hot-tempered, frivolous and somewhat passionate twenty-year-old Jiang Xi from Tong Ye’s mouth has disappeared little by little over the past five years.
What has disappeared together is his expectations and disappointments about love.
In fact, if Pei Chongyuan hadn’t made that phone call that day, he would have forgotten that he had ever had such an undefined relationship.
It was an experience that had taken half of Jiang Xi’s life, and drained half of his energy.
Then he used the other half to support his body, so that no one could see that he was actually crippled.
Later, when Jiang Xi recalled it, he didn’t even want to define the two years he spent with Pei Chongyuan as a relationship. It was a relationship driven by desire and born of lies, so absurd that it couldn’t be called a relationship.
Although, he could be sure that he had loved Pei Chongyuan without any distractions, and he could also be sure that Pei Chongyuan had probably treated him sincerely.
However, deception is a knife, so sharp that it can cut through all love.
Jiang Xi has never been indecisive, and his determination is even sharper than a blade.
In fact, Pei Chongyuan did look for him later.
He was able to piece together a complete paragraph with all the broken explanations.
At first, he really only wanted to spend the winter with her, but then he realised that he wanted to spend the rest of the year with her.
But Jiang Xi didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to believe it.
No matter if Pei Chongyuan was telling the truth or not, he hated this person to the core.
It’s not that he never gave Pei Chongyuan a chance. As early as the beginning of their relationship, Jiang Xi made it clear that he could not stand betrayal or deceit. If Pei Chongyuan had been more sincere back then, they would not have come to this.
Jiang Xi did not feel that he could not live without Pei Chongyuan.
When he was eight years old, he was left on his own, but he was able to stumble and grow up on his own, let alone at the age of twenty.
The period after the break-up was indeed difficult.
It was so difficult that he had insomnia all night, no appetite for food, and felt sick even when drinking water.
Tong Ye thought he was sick and took him to the school hospital.
After a series of tests, the school doctor said, ‘Why don’t you go to the hospital and get a number and check for psychological problems?’
Jiang Xi just threw his sleeves and left.
He refused to admit that there was something wrong with his mental state. It was just a break-up, not that serious.
He is not that useless.
For about a year and a half, until after he graduated from university, Pei Chongyuan would still surround him from time to time.
From eagerly explaining things to attentively asking after his well-being, and then later, it seemed that he began to become cautious and afraid to approach him easily.
Jiang Xi rarely sat down and talked with him seriously, even if he was willing to do so rationally, he was unable to do so.
He will always remember what Pei Chongyuan said during their final argument.
At the beginning, Pei Chongyuan vowed to protect his idealism, but in the end, he shattered his dreams with his own hands.
Jiang Xi was unwilling to forgive Pei Chongyuan, nor was he willing to let himself go.
He could see that Pei Chongyuan was doing his best to salvage the situation at the time, and he believed him. Pei Chongyuan had learned his lesson and truly had feelings for him.
But Jiang Xi couldn’t look at him. Whenever he looked at that person, all he could see was the dismissive smile he had imagined.
In front of him, there was love and affection, but when he turned around, he talked to Kong Xun about himself as if he were a disposable plaything.
Jiang Xi wanted dignity, and he wanted to protect the little dignity he had.
If he wanted to die, Pei Chongyuan could go ahead and do it himself.
Jiang Xi is not going to be his companion anymore.
He said harsh words a thousand times, but it was never enough.
After graduating from university, on the day after the graduation photo shoot, Jiang Xi went to get a tattoo, and had the words ‘murdering idealism’ tattooed on his waist.
He gritted his teeth and felt the pain, as if it were a farewell ceremony, hoping that after this, the existence of Pei Chongyuan as a person would be completely erased.
Unexpectedly, after that, Pei Chongyuan really slowly withdrew from his life.
Jiang Xi took over Subway after graduation. At first, Pei Chongyuan would still come, order a glass of wine, and sit far away watching Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan visibly lost weight, became much more haggard, and no longer had the same sharp spirit as before.
Jiang Xi saw all of this.
This helped him find some balance, and he knew that he was not alone in his suffering.
Whoever sows the seeds of suffering should also taste the fruit.
Qin Song, who worked here at the time, did not know about the past between Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan. He just thought of Pei Chongyuan as a crazy guy who secretly loved their handsome boss, and occasionally he would joke with Jiang Xi a little.
Jiang Xi never responded to such remarks, and when Qin Song mentioned them, he threatened to dock Jiang Xi’s performance evaluation. Later, Qin Song dared not say a word, but every time Pei Chongyuan came over, he would joke with him, saying things like ‘Our boss is not here today.’
It was 2012, and Jiang Xi was 22 years old, the year after he broke up with Pei Chongyuan.
That winter was also very snowy, and there were frequent snowstorm warnings, just like this year.
At that time, Jiang Xi thought that the days to come would be like this: Pei Chongyuan would come occasionally for a drink like an ordinary customer. He would not give him any looks or facial expressions, treating him like air.
At that time, his hatred for Pei Chongyuan was still very strong, like a haze that would not disperse. He could die if he thought too much about it. He could not bear to look at the other person, who was like a thorn in his flesh, stabbing him and causing him to break out in a cold sweat.
But the following year, just after New Year’s Day, Pei Chongyuan disappeared.
He never went back to 2008, never contacted Jiang Xi again, and just vanished into thin air at the beginning of 2013.
It seems difficult for someone to disappear, but also very easy. Jiang Xi would occasionally look at the parking space where Pei Chongyuan used to park his car when she stood in front of the bar smoking.
A few years ago, he was also smoking a cigarette like this, saw Pei Chongyuan sitting in the car, and then their story began to spin out of control.
But four years have passed, and time has sorted everything out, putting all the stories in their proper places and giving everyone their proper place in their hearts.
After Pei Chongyuan disappeared, Jiang Xi never bothered to find out what happened.
It’s better if he’s gone, and it’s better if he never shows up again.
If he’s dead, that would be even better.
Jiang Xi occasionally went to the hospital to visit Kong Xun. The two of them avoided talking about Pei Chongyuan and only discussed the business at the store and Kong Xun’s condition.
Kong Xun occasionally said, ‘I feel like this is my retribution.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘That’s possible, but you didn’t deserve to die after all, you’ll get better.’
Kong Xun was so thin that he was skin and bones. The person who used to love to joke was having trouble smiling.
But Jiang Xi always felt that Kong Xun would get better.
Someone else deserved to die.
That’s what he really thought at the time.
However, Kong Xun still didn’t survive the winter. The day before the beginning of spring, Jiang Xi received a phone call from the hospital saying that Kong Xun had passed away.
That day, Jiang Xi smoked for a long time outside, reminiscing.
From the time they met in high school when he posted a song on a forum, to later, when he came here to go to university and Kong Xun came to pick him up at the airport.
Although, if it weren’t for Kong Xun, he wouldn’t have met Pei Chongyuan, and wouldn’t have suffered so many unbearable days and nights because of Pei Chongyuan, but even if it weren’t Pei Chongyuan, perhaps someone else would have taught him this lesson.
In Jiang Xi’s heart, Kong Xun was still the older brother who took care of him with laughter and anger.
When Kong Xun left, he was not accompanied by anyone. Jiang Xi stood in the snow, watching the ashes blown away by the wind, thinking that perhaps he was not completely alone. There would surely be a ray of sunshine shining on Kong Xun’s withered hands, silently seeing him off.
Jiang Xi took care of Kong Xun’s funeral arrangements and finally placed a bunch of white flowers in front of his tombstone.
In fact, everyone will lie here like this sooner or later, melting into the soil and sleeping through countless springs, summers, autumns and winters.
In the early winter of 2013, because of Kong Xun’s death, Jiang Xi decided to let himself and Pei Chongyuan go.
No matter where that person was from now on, he didn’t hate anymore, because there was no need.
He was going to live his own life.

Chapter 44: A short break
Jiang Xi’s bar opened at 6pm, so he drove there in the afternoon.
Qin Song was sitting on the second floor, hugging his iPad and watching variety shows, laughing so hard that he was hiccupping.
‘Good morning, Brother Xi!’
Jiang Xi smiled and waved.
Qin Song is the one who is completely out of sync with the rest of the world. Usually, Jiang Xi comes over in the afternoon and leaves at around 9 o’clock. Qin Song doesn’t tidy up and go to bed until the shop closes in the early morning, basically waking up every day when Jiang Xi comes over.
At this time, it is really Qin Song’s ‘morning’.
‘Do you want to eat something?’ Qin Song stretches his neck to look at Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi just came up to say hello, and then turned around and went downstairs: ‘Have you eaten yet?’
‘No,’ said Qin Song, ‘I’m going to go across the street and eat spicy hot pot!’
Jiang Xi smiled and looked back at him.
Qin Song used to say that he didn’t like spicy hot pot at all, but these days he’s been going to the restaurant every day. At first, Jiang Xi didn’t know what was going on, until one day she saw Qin Song standing in front of the restaurant talking to a skinny little boy.
The boy looked young, probably not even twenty, and quite good-looking, but you could tell at once that he was a migrant worker from the countryside, wearing a T-shirt with the word ‘adidas’ printed on it, and a black apron with the words ‘XX Spicy Hot Pot’ on it, which was a bit dirty.
Qin Song was a smooth talker and knew how to read people’s expressions. Jiang Xi was not a worrisome person, and she had left the management of the bar to Qin Song, who ran it like a proper business.
For someone like this, it’s not strange to have a good relationship with the neighbours, but Jiang Xi stood there watching Qin Song’s attentive manner towards the waitress, and probably saw something.
However, Jiang Xi has never been the type of person who likes to gossip. Even with Qin Song, who has been close to him over the past few years, he has no intention of prying.
Jiang Xi went downstairs for a walk and made himself a soft drink.
He rarely drinks now, because every day he has to drive back to take care of his tail.
In addition, Kong Xun’s death made him feel very hollow. Although he doesn’t know why he is alive, he doesn’t want to die recklessly. It’s as if there is something important in his life that has not been completed, and he cannot end it until it is done.
Jiang Xi sat in the position by the entrance on the first floor, listening to the song and drinking the soft drink he mixed himself.
After a while, Qin Song came downstairs, wearing a jacket, going out to dinner. Jiang Xi waved his hand, asking him to bring some cigarettes when he came back.
‘No more wine, and control the cigarettes,’ Qin Song said with a smile, ‘such a young and handsome guy, acting like an old chain smoker!’
Jiang Xi laughed, urging him to hurry up and go.
Not long after Qin Song left, Tong Ye and Rong Xiansheng arrived.
They hadn’t seen each other for a while, but the two families actually didn’t live far from each other. Ever since Tong Ye graduated, he had been living at Rong Xiasheng’s place without any qualms. The two families lived about ten minutes away from each other by car, so it was actually very convenient for them to meet.
However, Jiang Xi had been living an increasingly solitary life in recent years. If Tong Ye and the others didn’t look for him, he would just stay quietly by himself.
‘Brother Xi, have you eaten yet?’
As Tong Ye walked in, he felt the cold air in the room.
Rong Xiasheng followed behind him, carrying a bag in his hands.
‘We were waiting for you to eat together,’ Jiang Xi gestured, indicating that they should hang their coats in the closet.
Rong Xiasheng put the bag in his hands in front of Jiang Xi and said, ‘Tong Ye prepared it.’
He took off his coat, and Tong Ye subconsciously reached out to catch it, hanging both their coats in the closet by the door.
Jiang Xi glanced at the bag and laughed, ‘Can you stop experimenting on me?’
A while ago, he heard that Tong Ye had suddenly become obsessed with making cakes and baking cookies, and had threatened to bring them to his students after he had mastered the skills.
The problem was that Tong Ye really had no talent in this area, and after so long, the things he made were suspected of being biological weapons.
‘It tastes good!’ Tong Ye pulled Rong Xiasheng down to sit down, ‘I tried it.’
Jiang Xi smiled helplessly, but still took some out of courtesy and tasted it.
“Not bad, right?’
‘It’s okay.”
Tong Ye knew that Jiang Xi didn’t like big birthday parties, so he didn’t bother to order a birthday cake. There weren’t even any candles. He just made some ugly cupcakes and cookies. Jiang Xi wouldn’t feel awkward because the gesture was from the heart.
Jiang Xi made them both a soft drink, and the three of them sat there chatting.
They said they were just chatting, but in reality, Tong Ye did most of the talking, while Rong Xiasheng and Jiang Xi listened.
Occasionally Jiang Xi would argue with him a bit, and the two of them would joke around for a while.
It felt like they had gone back to when they were in school, when they were in their early twenties, headstrong and full of passion, full of hope and love.
It was almost six o’clock when Qin Song came back from dinner. Tong Ye followed behind Qin Song, helping out with the preparations for opening for business.
Jiang Xi sat there chatting with Rong Xiasheng.
‘You haven’t been sleeping well lately?’ Rong Xiansheng was a little worried, saying to him, “You have some dark circles under your eyes.”
At first, Jiang Xi had fooled Tong Ye about being with Pei Chongyuan, but he hadn’t been able to hide it from Rong Xiansheng.
It wasn’t until he had completely cut off contact with Pei Chongyuan that he told Tong Ye about it. At the time, he looked half-dead, but he spoke lightly about it, and Tong Ye was stunned.
After being dumbfounded, he grabbed his guitar as a weapon and wanted to go and fight Pei Chongyuan.
But Jiang Xi said, ‘There’s no need. If we’re talking about who’s wrong in this, it’s still me.’
Tong Ye didn’t understand.
Jiang Xi said, ‘If I hadn’t ignored him in the first place and hadn’t jumped into the fire pit he had set up, then there wouldn’t have been so much heartache later.’
Tong Ye strongly disagreed with his argument, and later had a fight with Pei Chongyuan behind Jiang Xi’s back.
After that, Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng would visit Jiang Xi from time to time. Tong Ye was responsible for livening up the atmosphere, while Rong Xiasheng was responsible for chatting with Jiang Xi.
‘There was a fight upstairs last night, and it was so noisy that I couldn’t sleep,’ said Jiang Xi. ‘The soundproofing in this building is so bad now that I can hear every word the couple next door say.’
Rong Xiasheng nodded and said after a while, ‘I have earplugs in my car. Tong Ye bought them a while ago, they’re new. I’ll get them for you later.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘Seriously, do you two treat me like a son? There’s no need.’
Rong Xiasheng also laughed, ‘No, don’t be silly.’
Jiang Xi was still smiling as he watched Tong Ye busily helping Qin Song. He suddenly said, ‘Teacher Rong, Pei Chongyuan is back.’
Rong Xiansheng was taken aback: ‘When did that happen?’
‘He called me last month and even came by,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘and yesterday he sent me a text message.’
Jiang Xi was not at all surprised that Pei Chongyuan had gotten his phone number. After all, the store was located here, so it was easy to find him. What’s more, Jiang Xi had left his phone number in his car, so that he could be contacted in case of any problems while parking.
What surprised him was that the man had disappeared for nearly three years without a trace, and now he suddenly reappeared.
When Pei Chongyuan came to see him that day, Jiang Xi almost didn’t recognise him.
Although Pei Chongyuan was still dressed in his flashy, elite attire, he had lost so much weight that he looked completely different from before. He didn’t look well, and didn’t seem as confident as before when he spoke.
It was as if he had forced himself to come to see him.
Jiang Xi didn’t know if this person was pretending to be pitiful in front of him, but he knew that even seeing Pei Chongyuan like this, he didn’t feel the slightest bit of compassion.
It is said that there is no greater sorrow than a dead heart. At the beginning, Pei Chongyuan personally wielded the knife to cut Jiang Xi’s love and trust out of his body. Now, even if he wants to put it back in, it is impossible.
‘He came to you again to get back together?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘he didn’t say explicitly.’
When Pei Chongyuan was mentioned, Jiang Xi’s craving for a cigarette returned.
However, that Qin Song guy was only thinking about spicy food, and when he came back, he had completely forgotten to buy him cigarettes.
‘He first called me to say that he wanted me to attend a birthday banquet,’ Jiang Xi scoffed, ‘his birthday is in February.’
‘Celebrating your birthday?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jiang Xi’s fingers gently rubbed the now empty glass, ‘I refused.’
Rong Xiasheng looked at him and didn’t say anything.
‘Don’t tell Tong Ye about this yet,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I think he’ll freak out if he finds out.’
Rong Xiasheng laughed, ‘Okay.’
He thought about it for a moment, and then told Jiang Xi, ‘Handle it yourself.’
‘Okay,’ Jiang Xi looked at the two people busy at the bar and said to Rong Xiasheng, ‘It’s been a long time, I’m not that hopeless.’
‘It’s not about being hopeless,’ Rong said, “it’s about making yourself better and better.”
Better and better?
Jiang Xi felt that he was already living a good life, and that the calm, somewhat uneventful days were the most precious to him.
At six o’clock, the bar opened for business on the dot in 2008.
It was already dark at six in October.
Jiang Xi went out to buy cigarettes, and just as he came out of the convenience store next door and lit a cigarette, he saw Pei Chongyuan standing in front of the bar.
The man hesitated, not going in, but also not seeming to want to leave.
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, but then walked over.
‘What are you doing?’ Jiang Xi looked at Pei Chongyuan coldly, holding a cigarette in his hand.
This was the second time the two had met after three years, and Jiang Xi was no longer the idealistic boy who jumped into the fire of love without knowing the consequences. Pei Chongyuan was no longer the master of love who was comfortable in the world of relationships.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t expect Jiang Xi to suddenly appear, nor did he expect Jiang Xi to take the initiative to talk to him. For a moment, he was a little flustered.
‘Xiao Xi?’
‘Don’t,’ Jiang Xi laughed, ‘don’t be so familiar, we’re not that close.’
Jiang Xi narrowed his eyes and surveyed him, took a drag on his cigarette, and said, ‘If you want a drink, go inside and pay for it yourself. If you don’t want to go in, don’t just stand there in the doorway, I still have to do business.’
Jiang Xi had originally planned to smoke outside and then go inside, but with Pei Chongyuan standing there like that, there was nothing he could do.
He took two puffs on the cigarette before he stubbed it out on the wall, holding the butt in his hand as he pushed the door open and went inside.
Pei Chongyuan looked at his back and knew that Jiang Xi was different. No matter what, he could not combine the Jiang Xi of today with the boy who had stood here eight years ago, smoking and looking at his long legs.
He looked at the glass door and looked at the person inside through the glass.
Jiang Xi leaned against the bar and chatted with the bartender.
Pei Chongyuan turned his head again and saw another acquaintance standing on the stairs leading to the second floor.
He thought about it for a while, didn’t go in, and turned around and left.
When Jiang Xi turned back, he saw Pei Chongyuan hail a taxi. The man still had snow stuck to his shoes, and he glanced over here as he got into the car.

Chapter 45: Flawless
Jiang Xi found that he could now face Pei Chongyuan calmly. That calmness was not so much as if they were facing strangers, because they had indeed been familiar with each other before, but there would be no special emotions, just some impatience and annoyance.
There was no love.
When he realised that he could calmly regard Pei Chongyuan as just one of the countless customers who frequented the bar, he realised that he truly no longer loved Pei Chongyuan.
That’s fine.
After Jiang Xi returned home in the evening, he curled up on the sofa with his wife and watched a movie. For some reason, they turned on ‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’ again.
He had watched this movie no less than three times before. At the end of the movie, in black and white, the man sang, ‘I seem to have found the happiness I’ve been seeking.’
“I seem to have found the happiness I’ve been seeking.’
There is no such thing.
The happiness he once thought he had is nothing but an illusion. He admits that it will always be there for someone else, but at least it hasn’t happened to him.
It’s a little after eleven, the movie is over, and Jiang Xi thinks that he should go to bed quickly before the couple upstairs starts fighting.
He takes a quick shower, and when he comes out, Tail is already asleep. He turns off the living room light quietly and goes back to the bedroom.
His phone was plugged in on the bedside table charging, his hair was still damp, leaning on the bed, he took the phone and prepared to see if anyone had looked for him.
Over the past few years, Jiang Xi’s social circle has become narrower and narrower. There is no number stored in the address book, and the call history shows only Qin Song and Tong Ye, except for spam sales.
Oh yes, there was also a call from Pei Chongyuan last month.
There are not many friends on WeChat, and things like ordering goods for the store have been handed over to Qin Song, so he doesn’t need to contact anyone.
Jiang Xi sometimes feels that he is a pretty bad boss, but Qin Song said, ‘Brother Xi, don’t say that. If it wasn’t for you, I might still be selling my wares under the flyover.’
It was a bit of an exaggeration to say that he was selling his wares under the flyover.
The two of them met in the summer of 2012. Jiang Xi, who had just graduated from university, was walking to the hospital to visit Kong Xun when he saw Qin Song standing in the underpass of a certain road, playing the guitar and singing.
At the time, Qin Song was singing Lee Tsung-sheng’s ‘Song for Myself’.
Love is nothing more than a high fever, and yearning is an incurable cough that follows closely behind.
Jiang Xi stood there, entranced, not because Qin Song sang well, but because every word and every phrase made him trace back to the past few years with the song.
That day, when he returned from the hospital, he deliberately retraced his steps. It was already dark, and Qin Song was still in the underpass.
A light grey T-shirt and some worn jeans on his ankles.
It was hot, and even though it was night, the temperature was still not low.
Qin Song sat on the ground with a piece of newspaper under him, rolled up the sleeves of his short-sleeved T-shirt, and you could see the fine, dense sweat on his body when you got close.
When Jiang Xi walked past, he was sitting there counting the change in his guitar case and eating bread.
A bit disheveled, a bit carefree.
When Qin Song saw Jiang Xi, he tilted his head and smiled at him.
The two sat side by side. Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, so Qin Song just ate his bread in silence.
Later, when Qin Song finished eating, he asked him with a tilted head, ‘Handsome guy, what’s your request?’
Jiang Xi laughed, completely amused by his words.
Then the two got to know each other. Jiang Xi learned that Qin Song was originally supposed to be his junior, a freshman at the conservatory, but in the end, he broke off ties with his family, actively and passively, because he recklessly came out to them.
He broke off ties with his family and dropped out of school as a result.
Qin Song said this matter with a tone that was as carefree as can be, just like when Jiang Xi later told Tong Ye about the time he had had an affair with Pei Chongyuan.
At that time, Jiang Xi had just agreed to take over the bar from Kong Xun, but he had no experience in this and had no intention of gaining any. So he took a gamble and asked this person he had just met if they would be willing to help.
This helped for several years.
Facts have proven that Jiang Xi has met the wrong people and misjudged people in the past, but later, he has developed a sharp eye.
Qin Song has run the bar quite well.
Jiang Xi, who was sitting on the bed, checked WeChat to make sure Qin Song had not sent any ‘instructions’ or ‘requests’ tonight, and prepared to mute the sound and go to sleep.
After logging out of all the apps, he glanced at the text messages.
Back when he was in school, everyone sent text messages, and the monthly package allowed you to send 200 messages for a monthly fee.
Around his junior or senior year, WeChat came out of nowhere, and no one used text messages or even QQ much anymore.
A few years have passed, and text messages seem to have become trash cans full of all kinds of useless information. Few people will ever open them again.
Jiang Xi’s finger hesitated on the blue text message icon for a long time, but in the end he clicked on it.
He couldn’t count the number of unread messages, most of which were various insignificant notifications. But among these notifications, there was one from an 11-digit number, which was obviously not a spam message.
[Xiao Xi, I dare not call you, can we talk?
This message was sent this morning, just after 6am.
Jiang Xi recalled that at the time, he was waiting for the coffee to be ready.
Just as he was about to delete it, another text message squeezed in.
[Xiaoxi, I heard that Kong Xun passed away.
Jiang Xi looked out of the window.
He had just forgotten to close the curtains, and now looking out from this angle, the road outside looked a little pathetic with its emptiness.
Rows of orange street lamps illuminated the road for no one in particular.
Those lonely spirits?
Pei Chongyuan’s text message reminded him of Kong Xun again.
It is true that some people suddenly leave at a certain point in time, but nothing can deny that he once lived.
From last winter to this winter, for nearly a year, Kong Xun lay there. He was used to being busy, but he was probably lonely for a long time.
Jiang Xi did not reply to Pei Chongyuan immediately, but put down his phone and got out of bed again.
He went to the study and found a dusty box from the depths of a cabinet.
This box was found in the store after he officially took over Subway the year he graduated from college, and it was full of Kong Xun’s ‘collections.’
Photos, guitar picks, broken strings.
Lots of things.
He once took them to the hospital for Kong Xun, and Kong Xun said with a smile, ‘They’re useless, throw them away.’
He said, ‘I’m like this now, what’s the point of these memories? I just want to look forward and write some new stories and new memories.’
But Jiang Xi didn’t throw them away, but took them back and put them away, intending to wait until Kong Xun was discharged from the hospital and then give them back to him.
In the end, he never got to that day.
This box had been here for a long time, and Jiang Xi had already forgotten about it—if not for Pei Chongyuan suddenly contacting him.
There was only one photo in the box, which had faded a bit.
The photo shows Kong Xun and Pei Chongyuan, looking no more than seventeen or eighteen years old.
They are standing on a green lawn, their school uniforms slung casually over their shoulders, grinning arrogantly.
That was a side of them that Jiang Xi had never seen.
It turns out that they, too, had been carefree and innocent.
Jiang Xi took the photo out of the study, went out onto the balcony to have a smoke, then returned to the bedroom and sent Pei Chongyuan a text message:
[Tomorrow at 10am.]
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan met at a coffee shop not too far from his bar. He didn’t want Pei Chongyuan to go to his shop, as if deliberately drawing a line.
When Jiang Xi pushed the door open, Pei Chongyuan had already been waiting there for a long time. Whenever someone entered the shop, he would nervously tilt his head to see if it was Jiang Xi.
‘Good morning.”
Pei Chongyuan got up and said this to Jiang Xi when he arrived.
Jiang Xi laughed: “It is quite early.”
He sat down and ordered a cup of coffee.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him carefully, taking in the person from head to toe.
Since he returned, he has looked for Jiang Xi several times, but not every time did they meet formally. On a few occasions, he stood far away, watching the other person like a peeping tom.
He is more upright, more determined, and more like a mature and responsible man.
Pei Chongyuan finally admitted that during his absence, his long-legged boy no longer needed him.
He didn’t need him, didn’t need his love, and didn’t need his sweet words to affirm that he was indeed loved and needed.
It is no exaggeration to call this feeling ‘heartbreaking’. Pei Chongyuan even sometimes didn’t dare to approach, feeling that he no longer had the face to stand in front of Jiang Xi.
In the past, he was always the one in charge of the relationship, but now the tables had finally turned.
He began to feel inferior in front of Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi knew that Pei Chongyuan was sizing her up.
If this had happened three years ago, when he was still struggling to get by, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to stand such a gaze. He would have risen up in anger and fought with Pei Chongyuan.
But not anymore.
Look, no matter how you look at it, I’m doing just fine, without a single flaw.
Jiang Xi looked at him calmly, just like he would look at anyone else who was insignificant in his life.
‘One of Kong Xun’s belongings,’ Jiang Xi placed the photo on the table and pushed it towards Pei Chongyuan, ‘there are other belongings, but they have nothing to do with you.’
Pei Chongyuan looked down at the photo and frowned.
‘We took it when we were in high school.’
‘I’m not interested,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I’m just giving you this photo, and…’
He took out a notepad on the table and wrote down an address on it: ‘Kong Xun’s grave. You can go visit him.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at the row of words, stunned for a moment, covering his eyes and clenching his teeth.
‘Kong Xun said that people who do evil will suffer retribution,’ Jiang Xi looked at Pei Chongyuan and took a sip of coffee, ‘but I don’t think he deserved it.’
Pei Chongyuan didn’t say anything, clutching the piece of paper.
‘He didn’t leave a suicide note or express any last wishes, so it’s possible that he didn’t really expect to die at the end.‘ Jiang Xi put down her cup and said to Pei Chongyuan, “He probably left with a lot of regrets.”
’Xiao Xi…‘
’Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi said with a smile, her mouth curling up in a smile but her eyes were cold. ’I’m still calling you Brother Pei to give you face. It’s been three years, and no matter what the story is, it should have been put behind us a long time ago. I don’t have you in my heart.’
Jiang Xi stood up and took out a hundred yuan from her purse and placed it under the cup: ‘I’ll pay for the coffee. Sit here as long as you like. When you go see your brother, remember to buy him a bouquet of flowers, so that he doesn’t feel that you really don’t care about him as a friend.’

Chapter 46 Drumsticks
As Jiang Xi pushed the door open, he watched as a child scratched his car.
His car was parked in a parking space on the side of the road, and he had only been out a few steps.
The child, holding a candy-coated skewer, scratched the car with the skewer.
Jiang Xi is not superstitious, but seeing this scene made him feel like it was hinting that he shouldn’t have come today.
The child who caused the accident ran away, and Jiang Xi didn’t feel like arguing with him.
He sighed, took out a cigarette, and rummaged for his lighter for a long time without finding it.
A thin hand reached over and held the lighter.
Jiang Xi turned his head to look over and heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘Can’t we just chat?’
Jiang Xi put the cigarette pack back in his pocket and said, ‘Is that really necessary?’
‘Yes,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “I haven’t been around for the past two years, and a lot has happened.”
Jiang Xi stood up straight and looked at him with a cold face.
’I didn’t mean to not visit Kong Xun. At that time, I couldn’t get away,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “Xiaoxi, no matter what, you let me get it off my chest, and that’s a kind of explanation to you.”
Jiang Xi laughed: ’I’m not asking for an explanation.’
‘I want to,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “let’s chat, it’s been almost three years, let’s chat.”
They had never had a moment like this before.
Pei Chongyuan’s arrogance had been completely crushed by Jiang Xi. No matter how neatly a person put themselves together, they still looked dispirited, like a gem covered in dust.
This was not the Pei Chongyuan he had known before.
‘Let’s just stand here and chat,’ Jiang Xi took out a cigarette and reached out to ask Pei Chongyuan for a lighter.
Pei Chongyuan handed it over and watched as Jiang Xi lit his cigarette.
It was very windy, and Jiang Xi held the cigarette in his mouth, shielding it with one hand when he lit it.
His eyebrows were knitted together, his eyes slightly drooped, and the eyelashes that had once set Pei Chongyuan’s heart on fire were still there.
‘I’m sorry for this period of time.‘ Pei Chongyuan squinted his eyes in the wind, “I really couldn’t get away when Kong Xin was in the hospital.”
’It’s fine,‘ Jiang Xi returned the lighter to him and spat out the smoke, “He didn’t really miss you either.”
Pei Chongyuan was deflated and couldn’t say anything for a long time.
’If you have something to say, just say it,’ Jiang Xi looked at him, ’I’m quite busy.’
Pei Chongyuan also looked up, staring directly into Jiang Xi’s eyes.
A person’s changes are most obvious in their eyes.
When Jiang Xi used to look at him, there was a fire in his eyes, but now there was a cluster of ice.
Pei Chongyuan also lit a cigarette, holding it between his fingers as he rubbed his brow.
‘It seems that you’ve been doing well over the past three years.’
‘Obviously.’
“I called you the other day because I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.’
‘There’s no need.‘
’I never gave you a proper birthday when we were together, but you always…‘
’Wait,‘ Jiang Xi interrupted, “if you want to reminisce, there really is no need, you know what I mean.”
Pei Chongyuan froze for a moment and nodded.
’Okay, no reminiscing,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’I suddenly stopped looking for you at that time, not on purpose. There was a problem with a company project and I was detained.’
‘What?‘
’It’s true,’ Pei Chongyuan sighed. “You should remember that our company cooperated with Minggu Industry every year back then, and that was the general manager Xiang.”
Jiang Xi frowned at him.
She did remember that general manager Xiang, not because Pei Chongyuan was in charge of their projects every year, but because that general manager Xiang was someone who liked to get involved in shady dealings, and he had sent a young manager named Xiang Ran to follow Pei Chongyuan around.
That person, Xiang Ran, was the one who answered Pei Chongyuan’s phone call that year and was described by Kong Xun as having a face that Pei Chongyuan would like.
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, waiting for Pei Chongyuan to continue.
‘At that time, there was a major problem with the project we were working on together, and it was investigated. I was taken away for investigation without knowing anything about it,’ said Pei Chongyuan. ‘Later, I found out that there were problems with our company’s accounts at the time, and there were also problems with the contract we signed with Ming Guo and the others. I was framed and accused of fraud.’
Jiang Xi smoked a cigarette and listened to him.
Jiang Xi never asked about Pei Chongyuan’s work. At that time, he didn’t care what Pei Chongyuan did, he only saw this person in his eyes.
‘Our general manager and the people from Ming Guo pushed the blame onto me. I was really overwhelmed at that time,’ Pei Chongyuan smoked a cigarette and lowered his head. ‘During the investigation of this matter, I was kept in custody. Later, I was tried in the first instance, and I appealed.’
Pei Chongyuan let out a long sigh: ‘I didn’t dare let you know at the time.’
Jiang Xi never thought about any of this.
‘If you don’t believe me, you can check,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’ll go find you as soon as I get out.’
Jiang Xi flicked the ashes off his cigarette and said, ‘Did they catch the person who should be arrested?’
‘Yes,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘but this incident has also taught me a lesson. I really was too careless.’
Jiang Xi smiled and said, ‘Okay, I got it.’
After that, he walked over to the trash can next to him, stubbed out his cigarette, and threw it away before returning to the car.
‘Are you done?’ Jiang Xi opened the car door and said, ‘I’ll go first, then.’
‘Xiao Xi,’ Pei Chongyuan grabbed the door handle and said with a deep gaze, ‘You’ve taught me enough lessons over the past few years.’
‘Yes, enough.‘ Jiang Xi sat in the driver’s seat, tilting his head slightly to look at the person outside, and said, “Then I wish you good luck in the future, and don’t rip people off, and don’t get ripped off.”
After he finished speaking, he closed the car door and prepared to leave.
’By the way,’ Jiang Xi opened the car window and asked the person outside, “When you were locked up, you didn’t tell me, so what about Xiang Ran?”
Pei Chongyuan was taken aback, not expecting him to suddenly mention Xiang Ran.
Jiang Xi smiled, and without waiting for a reply, closed the window and drove away.
Pei Chongyuan stood there watching the car slowly leave, as if he was watching a kite that had been in his hands break free and go higher and further into the blue sky.
It was only noon when Jiang Xi arrived at the store, and Qin Song had not yet woken up.
He got himself something to eat, then sat in the window seat on the second floor, drinking a drink and playing games.
It was impossible to meet Pei Chongyuan without a slight stir in the heart.
He had thought of countless possibilities: where had Pei Chongyuan been in the past three years?
Tired of chasing after him and explaining himself, he had found a new love.
Or like Kong Xun, he had been unlucky, fallen ill, and died without a trace.
Jiang Xi had thought of many possibilities, but never that he had been restricted in his personal freedom.
In Jiang Xi’s heart, Pei Chongyuan was as shrewd as a fox, and he was able to make Jiang Xi fall into the trap. That Xiang Ran was really quite something.
Thinking of Xiang Ran, Jiang Xi smiled.
He suddenly became curious about what Xiang Ran looked like, and how he could have made Pei Chongyuan lose his mind.
The words ‘Game over’ appeared on the screen of the laptop. Jiang Xi took off his headphones and leaned back in his chair.
He stared at the screen, remembered what Pei Chongyuan had said, then exited the game and began searching for related information.
Pei Chongyuan had indeed not lied to him. Not only was information on that case searchable, there was even a video of the trial.
Jiang Xi didn’t click to watch it. He couldn’t bear to see Pei Chongyuan in such a dismal state.
It wasn’t pity or heartache born out of love for him, but rather, a reluctance to admit that the person he had once loved so much could look so disheveled when he fell.
He couldn’t bear to see Pei Chongyuan like that.
It would make him feel that everything that had happened was an extremely ironic dream.
He closed the webpage and found a movie to watch.
When Qin Song got up, he saw his boss sitting on the second floor watching a movie with a cup in his hand. He yawned and came over.
‘Good morning, Brother Xi,’ Qin Song sat down opposite him and leaned lazily over the table, ‘why are you here so early today?’
‘I was bored at home, so I came over.’ Jiang Xi paused the movie and looked at Qin Song, whose hair was a mess from sleeping, and said disdainfully, “Hurry up and go wash up, it’s annoying to look at.”
Qin Song laughed, stood up unsteadily, and then trotted off to take a shower.
The third floor where Kong Xun used to live is now Qin Song’s. The bedroom, bathroom, and the original small billiard room have been renovated by Jiang Xi into a small screening room. Occasionally, he will watch movies in that room on the third floor.
While Qin Song was taking a shower, Jiang Xi turned off the computer and went downstairs to prepare to clean up the shelves and bar.
As soon as he went downstairs, he saw the waiter from the opposite mala tangtang shop hovering in the doorway, not sure whether to go in or not.
He looked up at the upstairs, and saw that Qin Song had not finished packing and had not come out yet.
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, then walked over and pushed open the door.
‘Something the matter?’ Jiang Xi said to the person outside the door.
The boy standing outside obviously flinched for a moment, and took a half step back, saying, ‘Well, that is, I… I…’
‘Looking for Qin Song?’
The boy looked even more nervous, but nodded.
‘Come in,‘ Jiang Xi said, sidestepping to let him in. “Qin Song is in the shower. You can wait for him here for a while.”
’Sh-sh-shower?‘
Jiang Xi looked back at him, smiling as he saw his eyes widen.
Is this a stutterer?
’Well, he’s in the shower,’ Jiang Xi said. “I guess it won’t be long now.”
After saying that, Jiang Xi continued back to the bar to tidy up, ignoring him.
When Qin Song came out, he wiped his hair and said, ‘Brother Xi, I need to go to the supermarket later. I found that you’ve eaten all my instant noodles!’
As soon as he finished speaking, he saw the boy waiting for him.
‘Xiao Wen?’ Qin Song smiled, ‘Why are you here?’
Qin Song ran over in his damp slippers, ‘Have you eaten?’
Jiang Xi looked back at the two of them, couldn’t hold back, and snorted, ‘Who asks if you’ve eaten when you see each other?’
Qin Song ignored him and looked at Xiaowen with a smile: ‘You were looking for me? Do you need something?’
‘No, no… nothing!’ Xiaowen looked at him timidly, ‘I… I was just asking you, asking you… good morning!’
After saying that, Xiaowen turned around and ran out.
Jiang Xi and Qin Song were both dumbfounded.
‘What’s going on?’ Qin Song muttered as he stood there.
“He’s a little stutterer?’
‘Hm,‘ Song muttered as he watched Wen run back across the road to the spicy food shop before turning back to ask Xi, “Cute, isn’t he?”
Xi laughed: “It was quite funny, running over here hesitating at the door, then waiting for ages for you to come in just to say good morning. You guys really have a sense of humour.”
’Waiting for ages?’ Song’s eyes lit up, ’That’s really cute.’
Jiang Xi glared at him and tossed him a card: ‘After you’re done cleaning, go to the supermarket and buy some more noodles. Don’t act like I’m not treating you well.’
Qin Song took the card with a smile and went back to change.
Jiang Xi looked outside. In the doorway of the spicy hot pot restaurant across the street, Xiao Wen was carrying boxes of drinks from the delivery truck.
Jiang Xi smiled softly as he remembered the way the two of them had been talking.
‘Hello, Jiang Xi’s delivery.”
Jiang Xi looked towards the door and went over to collect the delivery.
He didn’t remember buying anything.
After signing for it, he opened it and found a pair of drumsticks lying in a rectangular box, exactly the same as the ones Pei Chongyuan had given him years ago, which he had since broken.

Chapter 47 Optimal Solution
Jiang Xi had always remembered the song, and the lyrics sung by Li Zongsheng: ’Don’t rush me, time. I won’t chase after you if you go away.’
He always felt that his past with Pei Chongyuan had completely gone away.
It’s been five years, isn’t that enough?
For nearly three years after Pei Chongyuan disappeared, he didn’t think about this person, didn’t think about anything about this person, and thought that he had successfully stripped this person from his body and the world.
But when Pei Chongyuan reappeared, stood in front of him, lowered his head and obediently explained the ins and outs, and then attacked him in this way,
Jiang Xi could not deny that the past and that person still had a lingering effect on him.
There was still a lingering effect.
It was like after an earthquake, although the city was rebuilt, it didn’t mean that nothing had ever happened.
Those who had experienced the earthquake would always bear the scars in their hearts.
Jiang Xi’s fingers stroked the drumsticks. He felt that he should probably tell Pei Chongyuan that he hadn’t played the drums for several years.
He should also tell Pei Chongyuan not to waste his efforts, that they were no longer in love.
No longer in love.
Jiang Xi frowned.
Even now, he admitted that Pei Chongyuan had truly loved him. Even if he wasn’t sure at first, later, in the two years after he had left, the things Pei Chongyuan had said to him and the way he had looked at him had made Jiang Xi understand that he had been loved.
But it wasn’t enough.
Jiang Xi understood that sometimes she was too stubborn, and he never denied this cruel flaw of his.
A flaw that was cruel to himself and to others.
But there was nothing he could do.
Did Pei Chongyuan love him? Probably.
Did Pei Chongyuan lie to him? Indeed he did.
All his arrogance and indifference were just a false front that he put up. Those who never lack tenderness and love will never understand what this kind of deception meant to Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi also had nightmares, in which he was like a clown performing on stage, pouring all his emotions into a one-man show of love, while Pei Chongyuan sat in the audience, watching him with a mocking smile.
Even when Pei Chongyuan later came on stage to present him with flowers, he was still the clown.
Jiang Xi cares too much about his dignity. For the past eighteen years, in those days without love, his survival has depended on his dignity. So when he senses that his dignity has been trampled on along with the love, he can’t hear what anyone else says.
Five years have passed, especially the last three years, without seeing Pei Chongyuan. Jiang Xi has gradually calmed down.
He can begin to rationally deal with this situation, and has come to the conclusion that it is best to forget.
Forget it, never mention it again, this was his best solution.
However, the person who he thought would never see again has returned.
Like a weary traveller, after travelling for several years, he has finally returned home.
Jiang Xi put the drumsticks away and put them in the cabinet under the bar.
He thought: Even if Pei Chongyuan is a traveller who has settled down, I am not the root to which he returns.
Jiang Xi no longer loves, not just Pei Chongyuan, but also no one else.
In the afternoon, Qin Song was busy at the bar, while Jiang Xi sat on the second floor, lost in thought.
‘Hey?’ When Qin Song opened the cabinet at the bar, he saw the rectangular box containing the drumsticks. ‘Brother Xi, is this yours?’
Qin Song knew that Jiang Xi used to play the drums and even formed a band.
Tong Ye had told him all about it, but Jiang Xi had always kept quiet about the past.
Sometimes Qin Song felt sad that if he had gone to university two years earlier, or even just for one semester, he might have been able to see Gun Dog perform at school.
Gun Dog was said to have been very popular at the time. Jiang Xi didn’t get up, but just sat there, and asked, ‘What?’
‘This box!’ Qin Song opened it and took a look, ‘Drumsticks!’
The words ‘drumsticks’ suddenly felt like a pair of hands, clutching his heart and twisting it hard, wringing out a pool of water.
‘You can have it for fun.’
Qin Song laughed and put the thing back in its place: ‘I can’t play the drums, what would I do with it!’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything else, and after a while of staring off into space, he noticed that it had started snowing again.
He looked at the time, stood up, and walked downstairs.
‘I’m going out for a bit,‘ Jiang Xi said as he put on his overcoat, “I should be back before it gets dark.”
’Okay, go ahead,’ Qin Song said, “Drive safely, it’s snowing again.”
Jiang Xi gave a “hmm” in response, glanced at the cabinet behind the bar, and turned to go.
He drove to the cemetery in the suburbs. Perhaps because of the sudden snowfall and his own bad mood, he wanted to go see Kong Xun.
When it snows, people and ghosts alike feel lonely.
Jiang Xi bought flowers, wine and cigarettes, and trudged through the snow to Kong Xun’s grave to chat with him.
The cemetery looked even more desolate than usual in the snow, and the people who were already asleep were sleeping even more soundly.
Jiang Xi walked quietly, as if he were afraid of disturbing the strangers, but he could still hear the sound of his feet in the snow.
Creak.
Squeak.
It sounded like a heartbeat that had changed key and gone out of tune.
Jiang Xi never expected to meet Pei Chongyuan.
As he walked past, he saw Pei Chongyuan standing there, his overcoat flapping in the wind, snow falling on his shoulders and head. At first glance, he looked like an elderly man with white hair.
When Jiang Xi saw him, he just froze for a moment, without turning away.
Pei Chongyuan heard the sound and turned his head.
When heavy snow falls, it should be silent, but when they looked at each other, it seemed that the snow had a sound, resounding and deafening.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Why are you here?’
Jiang Xi ignored him and walked over, glancing at the large bunch of gypsophila that Pei Chongyuan had placed there.
The white gypsophila had also received its share of the snowfall, and the flowers and snow had lost their boundaries, unable to tell one from the other. It was just like this cemetery, buried in snow and blending in with the earth.
He crouched down, placed the flowers, and then set out the wine and cigarettes in front of the tombstone.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and said, ‘Do you come here often?’
‘Whenever I’m free, I come here.’ Jiang Xi put the things away and stood up.
He stood half an arm’s length away from Pei Chongyuan, his hands in his pockets, looking at the photo of Kong Xun on the tombstone.
‘These past few years have really taught us a lesson,’ Pei Chongyuan said, taking his eyes off the photo and looking at Kong Xun. ‘Who could have imagined that we would be like this now?’
‘Everyone walks their own path, and there is a cause and effect for everything,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘It’s just that sometimes, God does accidentally use a heavy hand.’
The two of them stood in silence in the snow. Not far away, a branch snapped under the weight of the snow.
‘Although you may not want to hear it, I did love you,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘Perhaps trust is the most irreparable, especially for you.’
‘Not especially for anyone,’ Jiang Xi said softly. ‘The sincerity and trust of anyone should not be betrayed.’
‘Yes, you’re right,’ Pei Chongyuan murmured, “it shouldn’t be betrayed.”
He turned to look at Jiang Xi, as if he had hesitated for a long time before finally making up his mind: “I also have true feelings for you. I don’t expect to repair anything, but can you not directly sentence me to death because of that one time?”
Jiang Xi also turned to look at him, wanting to say something, opened his mouth, and finally said, ’Do you have to settle our accounts in front of my brother?’
Pei Chongyuan suddenly realised that after all this time, he had no way of dealing with Jiang Xi.
‘I’ll wait for you outside,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘let’s talk somewhere else.’
As he passed Jiang Xi, he whispered, ‘Even death row inmates want to fight for a stay of execution.’
Jiang Xi didn’t move, and didn’t turn back until he was sure Pei Chongyuan had gone.
The man was slowly walking out, wrapped in the snowstorm. In the empty cemetery, which was packed with souls, they were as silent as the people lying here.
Jiang Xi watched Pei Chongyuan walk out, then turned back and looked at Kong Xun.
‘Why bother?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘This is the most meaningless lesson in life.’
When Jiang Xi came out, Pei Chongyuan was standing at the exit of the parking lot smoking.
The two were more than ten metres apart. Pei Chongyuan looked at him, walked over, and untied his scarf and tied it for Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi did not hide, standing there and letting Pei Chongyuan show off.
Seven years ago on that day, Pei Chongyuan walked him back to school, also in the snow, and Pei Chongyuan tied his scarf on himself.
The scene reappeared, or rather, the same trick was played again.
It was impossible not to feel emotion.
‘I wanted to give it to you just now,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, after finishing tying Jiang Xi’s scarf. He took a half step back, raised his hand to hold the cigarette he was smoking, took a drag, and said, “I was afraid you would just throw it in the cemetery.”
’Aren’t you afraid anymore?‘
’I’ve let go. Whatever.”
Pei Chongyuan said, “Shall we find a place to sit down and chat? Or would you rather be out in the wind?”
The wind was already blowing enough to make Jiang Xi’s head hurt.
Jiang Xi turned and walked towards his car, and Pei Chongyuan hesitated for a moment before following.
The two sat in the car, which was filled with a light fragrance.
It was the smell of citrus mingling with wood, light and with an indescribable sense of calm and sensuality.
Pei Chongyuan felt that the smell was somewhat familiar, but he couldn’t think of where he had smelled it before.
Jiang Xi turned on the air conditioning and waited for the temperature in the car to rise.
‘I used to think that love could never last,’ Pei Chongyuan looked out the windscreen at the snow outside, and suddenly felt that the wheel of fortune had really turned. Back then, he was in the driver’s seat, and Jiang Xi was in the passenger seat. But a few years later, it seemed that they had swapped roles. ‘I’ve always felt that there are many people in the world who I like, but the kind of love that you can’t live without is something that artists make up to fool ordinary people like us.’
Jiang Xi opened the window a crack and lit a cigarette.
‘To me, love is an untraceable legend in a museum, the paintings hanging in the exhibition halls, the classic stories printed on the pages of books that have been passed down for centuries, but it doesn’t exist in the lives of ordinary people.’ Pei Chongyuan asked him, ‘Can I smoke?’
Jiang Xi opened the window on the passenger side of the car, a small crack, which was his answer.
Pei Chongyuan thanked him and lit a cigarette.
‘Xixi, I’ve been thinking about it ever since, and the truth is that this relationship has never been a solid one,’ Pei Chongyuan said softly as he spat out the cigarette smoke. ‘I love frivolously, you love fiercely, but neither of us truly believes that love is real. As long as this problem remains unresolved, sooner or later we will have to part ways.’

Chapter 48: Offended
Pei Chongyuan had hit the nail on the head.
Although Jiang Xi had always boasted about how intense his love had been, looking back, he had indeed rarely felt at ease in that love.
Those feelings of anxiety and loss were the best proof.
Of course, part of the reason was that the person he had placed his love in made him feel insecure, and the other part was still within himself.
He smoked, pondering Pei Chongyuan’s words.
‘Have you seriously thought about the problems between us?‘ Pei Chongyuan asked, “The reasons why we were attracted to each other in the first place, and the reasons for our separation. Have you?”
’Just say what you want to say,‘
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and smiled, taking a drag on his cigarette.
’I’m not going to say anything else. You don’t need me to lecture you, and I’m not qualified to,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’I just want to say that whether you think we’ve turned over a new leaf or not, I’m back.’
He stuck his hand out the car window and flicked the ash off.
‘The way we used to get along was fundamentally wrong,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘You’ve grown up, you don’t need me, you don’t want me, but the problem is, I still want you.’
He turned to Jiang Xi and said, ‘Although so many years have passed, you should still understand me, I want you.’
Jiang Xi snorted.
‘Go ahead and laugh. I have to say it too.’ Pei Chongyuan leaned back in his chair and took a deep drag on his cigarette. “In the past three years, I’ve sold my house and car to fight this lawsuit. Although I was eventually acquitted, it really took a toll on me. Compared to you, I’ve really failed in life.”
Jiang Xi turned his head and looked out the window, resting his hand on the window frame as he stared at the burning cigarette.
‘Without a career, without wealth, and the only person I care about is indifferent to me,’ Pei Chongyuan smiled, “if this were someone else, they might never come back to you, they’d feel dejected and lose face.”
He took a drag on his cigarette, reached over, and suddenly pinched Jiang Xi’s chin to force the other person to look at him.
‘But I’m not just anyone,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him, the two of them locking eyes. “Even if you, Brother Pei, lose everything, don’t worry, just give me some time, I can get it all back.”
Jiang Xi frowned at him, but didn’t struggle.
After Pei Chongyuan finished speaking, he let go of his hand and gently rubbed the reddened chin, smiling and saying, “Thank you for not shoving me away and saving my face.”
He held the cigarette between his fingers and opened the car door with his other hand.
‘See you some other time,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “I know you don’t want to see me, but there are some things you can’t avoid, and neither can some people.”
He took a step out with one leg, hesitated for a moment, and suddenly turned around, leaving a gentle kiss on Jiang Xi’s dazed lips.
’Sorry for the inconvenience,’ Pei Chongyuan kissed him and turned to get out of the car.
Jiang Xi’s hand with the cigarette was still resting on the car window. The moment he was kissed, his fingers trembled and the cigarette fell.
The burning cigarette fell on the snow, and the fire and the snow fought.
He watched Pei Chongyuan walk out of the parking lot and stand by the roadside. The sight of his back was both familiar and strange.
How could this man be so confident?
Where did he get his confidence?
Jiang Xi stayed seated until Pei Chongyuan got into a taxi and drove away.
He got out of the car and picked up the cigarette butt that had fallen on the ground.
The cold wind whistled, but with his scarf tied around his neck, no wind could get past.
Since meeting Pei Chongyuan at the cemetery that day, Jiang Xi had always thought about that person unconsciously.
There was no other reason, just curiosity, why that person was so sure that what was lost could be regained.
He didn’t want to see the disheveled Pei Chongyuan. Even though he had once resented the other person immensely, after a while, once he had calmed down, he could tell the difference between love and hate, and he was able to rationally sort out his emotions.
The failure of this relationship was not anyone’s fault.
But he really had no intention of going back.
After walking his dog in the morning and having a quick lunch, Jiang Xi drove to the bar.
Jiang Xi arrived at the store just after 1 o’clock, well before opening time. As a result, as soon as he parked the car, he saw Pei Chongyuan standing on the roadside talking on the phone.
He unbuckled his seat belt, not in a hurry to get out of the car, but sat there watching the man, wondering why the guy was here at this time.
Pei Chongyuan talked on the phone for a while, and after hanging up, he turned his head and saw Jiang Xi parked not far away.
He had been here more than once, both overtly and covertly, and had even memorised where Jiang Xi usually parked.
One person stood outside, while the other sat in the car. Seven years ago on that night, their roles had been reversed.
Pei Chongyuan turned to look at him. After a few days apart, he looked much better than when they had last met.
Jiang Xi once again thought about the confident words Pei Chongyuan had said to him that day. He was actually looking forward to what this person would do next.
It was like a lonely general who had longed to go to war and kill the enemy. Jiang Xi’s life had been so peaceful for so long, and now that the enemy had come, he was ready to fight.
He looked at the person outside looking at him, and the love from those years did not well up in his eyes, but rather the excitement of preparing to kill the enemy in one fell swoop.
At first, Jiang Xi didn’t realise this, until he looked up and saw himself in the rearview mirror.
He looked at himself and frowned.
It turned out that all reconciliation was an illusion, and he still hadn’t let go.
Jiang Xi got out of the car, holding the scarf that Pei Chongyuan had tied around his neck that day.
He walked over without saying a word, passed the other person without looking away, and threw the scarf at the person.
Then, as if they had never met, they passed each other, opened the door and went inside.
Pei Chongyuan, with the scarf still warm in his hands, smiled and turned to follow.
Jiang Xi ignored him and went straight to the wardrobe to take off her coat and hang it up.
Qin Song was sweeping the floor when he saw Pei Chongyuan push open the door. He said habitually, ‘Sir, I’m sorry, we don’t open until 6pm.’
After he had finished speaking, he looked up and the more he looked, the more familiar the man looked.
‘Hey?’ Qin Song thought for a long time, then it dawned on him, ‘You haven’t been here for a long time!’
Qin Song still remembered Pei Chongyuan, the person who always came to see their brother Xi.
‘I almost didn’t recognise you!’ Qin Song said, ‘You’ve changed a lot!’
Pei Chongyuan stood in the doorway and smiled at him: ‘Really?’
Qin Song also smiled: ‘Yes, but although you are a regular customer, we still have to open at 6 o’clock.’
Jiang Xi closed the wardrobe, glanced at the doorway, ignored the two men, and went upstairs.
Pei Chongyuan watched him walk away, refrained from following him, and instead handed the scarf in his hand to Qin Song, saying, ‘This belongs to your boss, please give it to him.’
Qin Song took the scarf blankly, and heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘I’ll come back at six.’
Pei Chongyuan left, and Qin Song turned around and called out, ‘Brother Xi, your scarf!’
Jiang Xi was on the second floor, holding a cup and drinking a beverage. From the window seat, he could see the street outside if he looked down.
He watched Pei Chongyuan cross the road and head towards an alley diagonally opposite.
He finished his drink before going downstairs. Qin Song said, ‘I hung up your scarf for you.’
‘My scarf?’
‘Yes, the man just brought it to you, but I haven’t seen you wear it.’
Jiang Xi understood what was going on, put down his cup and smiled.
He was laughing at Pei Chongyuan’s lack of progress. After all these years, he was still using the same old tricks.
At 6pm, 2008 opened on time, and Pei Chongyuan pushed open the door at 6:05pm.
Jiang Xi was standing at the bar mixing drinks, looked up at him and didn’t say anything.
‘Do you have any special drinks for the boss?’
Jiang Xi answered without even raising his eyes: ‘Yes, but they’re not good.’
‘That’s okay, I’ll have one.’
‘One thousand yuan for one glass.’ Jiang Xi laughed, ‘Do you want another?’
Pei Chongyuan looked at his obviously mischievous smile and shrugged helplessly: ‘Poor man, can’t afford it.’
Qin Song went upstairs to deliver drinks to customers, and when he came back down, he saw Pei Chongyuan and smiled: ‘You’re very punctual, big brother!’
‘Not really,’ Pei Chongyuan asked, ‘Do you have any reasonably priced drinks? Give me one.’
“Reasonable price? Our prices have always been very reasonable.’
‘No way,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “a special drink that costs a thousand yuan a glass, you call that fair?”
Qin Song froze for a moment, then looked at his boss.
’Hey, every family has to have a little show to keep,’ Qin Song said, “I’ll make it for you, I’ll make it cheap.”
Jiang Xi listened to the two men talking and felt annoyed. He stopped mixing drinks and turned around and went upstairs.
Qin Song saw that his boss had left and asked Pei Chongyuan, ‘Brother, what have you been doing all this time? It’s been a year or two since you came, right?’
‘Almost three years,’ said Pei Chongyuan. ‘It’s rare that you remember me.’
‘I remember, I have a good memory,’ said Qin Song. ‘You’re something, still thinking about our boss?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed: ‘What do you mean, thinking about? Nothing like that.’
It wasn’t thinking about.
I must get it back.
Qin Song laughed, obviously not believing his words.
Pei Chongyuan took the wine and originally wanted to go upstairs, but then thought, if he went upstairs, Jiang Xi would have to come back down again, and he wouldn’t be able to say a word. It would be a waste of time. He might as well just sit here. Qin Song’s mouth is so loose that he doesn’t even need to bait him to get his boss to spill the beans.
‘You haven’t been here for three years, I didn’t think you’d still be here.‘
’We can’t move,‘ Qin Song said, “our boss is very loyal.”
Pei Chongyuan laughed, “Loyal to a house?”
’Yes, you wouldn’t understand.”
How could Pei Chongyuan not understand? He knew everything about Jiang Xi.
No, that’s not true, he had a three-year gap, and he didn’t know how to fill it.
‘That’s right,‘ Pei Chongyuan said to Qin Song, “I only came back here a while ago, and it’s been three years. This place has changed quite a bit. I don’t know where to find a suitable place to rent. Can you recommend one?”
’I don’t know much about it either. I’ve never rented a place,‘ Qin Song said. “I’ve always lived in a hotel.”
’Where does your boss live?’ Pei Chongyuan asked. ’Why don’t you ask if there’s a suitable place near his house?’
Qin Song laughed: ‘Brother, your intentions are obvious to everyone!’
He leaned over the bar, his smile revealing his sharp teeth: ‘Brother, you’re just after our boss. I can see that. What’s with the rental housing? You’re trying to get me to talk, aren’t you? You’re in a good position, aren’t you?’
Pei Chongyuan smiled but didn’t say anything.
‘We’re practically friends,’ Qin Song said, ‘take my advice and forget it.’
‘Why?‘
’Because I suspect that our boss has someone in mind. Over the years, there have been people after him, but they have all died on the beach.’ Qin Song said with deep meaning, “Really, I don’t think you are his type, so don’t waste your effort.”

Chapter 49 Indirect Kissing
Jiang Xi has someone in mind.
Pei Chongyuan sat at the bar, repeatedly pondering this sentence.
When Qin Song told him this, Pei Chongyuan felt like he had been poured cold water over.
From the moment he returned to the present, he used the shortest time to adjust his state, because seeing Jiang Xi now, he had to hurry.
He had to tear off the heavy dust that nearly three years had brought him, like tearing off a layer of skin. Not only that, after tearing off that layer of skin, he had to walk out with a bloody and mangled skin, and no matter who asked, he had to say it didn’t hurt.
But in fact, he was sweating with pain.
From childhood to adulthood, Pei Chongyuan had always been a proud person, so proud that he was a little conceited.
His family was quite well off, and his studies and career had always gone smoothly. He had never encountered any potholes, let alone monstrous traps.
This time, even if he managed to get away cleanly in the end, it would inevitably deal a blow to him.
Especially when he saw Jiang Xi now, he felt that the greatest irony in the world was no more than this.
But Pei Chongyuan has never known how to admit defeat. He knows only too well that if you admit defeat in anything, even the smallest thing, you will lose for the rest of your life.
Of course, the previous times he bowed to Jiang Xi’s superiority were not considered admitting defeat. He was just being deferential and indulgent as an older person.
Those were not true admissions of defeat.
If he couldn’t admit defeat before, he certainly couldn’t now.
Pei Chongyuan tried his best to maintain his dignity and rebuild his life as quickly as possible.
No job?
Find one.
No house or car?
Buy them when you earn the money.
Although he was at rock bottom, he only allowed himself to sink for a few days, and then he had to stand up with gritted teeth.
He never worried about losing anything, because he always felt that he could get back everything he lost.
Except Jiang Xi.
From the day they met, Jiang Xi was the only exception in his life.
But if it weren’t for an accident that year, their relationship would have reached a low point, and he wouldn’t have realised that he liked Jiang Xi so much.
‘You have someone in your heart…’ Pei Chongyuan drained his glass of wine in one go and smiled casually, ‘Who?’
‘I don’t know, I’m just guessing,’ Qin Song said, ‘We shouldn’t try to guess the boss’s thoughts, it’s pointless.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed and looked away.
He wasn’t looking at Jiang Xi, who was upstairs and out of sight.
He was looking at the grey scarf that Qin Song had hung next to Jiang Xi’s overcoat when he opened the closet to help the customer hang up his clothes.
Someone’s got a crush? Fine, I’ll dig it up and see if it’s me.
‘Brother, you’re drinking fast today,’ said Qin Song, returning from helping other customers hang up their clothes and seeing that Pei Chongyuan’s glass was empty. ‘Another one?’
‘No, I have things to do.’ Pei Chongyuan stood up, “Ask about my rental situation, tactfully, as a favour to me.”
Qin Song laughed, “I’ll have to think about it, I can’t betray our boss!”
Pei Chongyuan smiled, “Okay, take your time, thank you in advance.”
When he came out of the bar, Pei Chongyuan stood in the doorway and looked at the “2008” hanging above the glass door for a long time.
Jiang Xi had renamed Subway 2008, the year they met.
Of course, Pei Chongyuan didn’t feel that this was to commemorate himself, to commemorate their encounter. He wasn’t narcissistic enough to that extent.
He stepped back, to the curb, and looked up through the second-floor window.
The window seats were full of customers, young and energetic, holding wine glasses and crying or laughing.
But there was no peace, neither the peace of 2008 nor the peace of 2015.
The peace was to avoid the second floor where Pei Chongyuan had gone, but in the end he found that he could not sit peacefully on the second floor either, so he simply went to the third floor to watch a movie.
The movie was the ‘Purple Rose of Cairo’ that he had seen countless times, and he had even memorised the lines.
“I seem to have found the happiness I’ve been looking for.’
He followed the people in the movie on a journey of illusion and reality, and finally finished the movie with the man on the black and white screen singing this line, and then a sentence suddenly came to his mind: ‘Look how ironic this is.’
This thought made his heart tremble, and he didn’t want to start over.
Jiang Xi raised his hand and turned off the projector, stood up, and took a glass of water, drinking it in one go.
His anxiety eased, and he rubbed his eyebrows and went downstairs.
When he got downstairs, Pei Chongyuan was nowhere to be seen.
‘He’s gone,’ Qin Song said with a smile, ‘looking for that guy?’
Jiang Xi glanced at him and ignored him.
‘Want a drink?’ Qin Song asked, leaning over.
‘No, I’m just going to buy some dog food for Tail and then go home.’
‘You’re home early today,’ Qin Song said, nudging him with his elbow and smiling, ‘Brother Xi, let me ask you a question.’
‘Go on.‘
’Are you gay or not?‘ Qin Song looked at him with a smile, “I think you are, but I’m not sure.”
Jiang Xi looked at him impatiently as he slowly organised the bottles on the shelf.
’Don’t look at me like that,‘ Qin Song said, “It’s not that I want to pry, but you’re so abstemious all the time, I suspect you might be…”
’What?‘
’A monk.‘
’…crazy.’
Qin Song laughed next to him, a hearty laugh.
‘Really, you said that over the years, every day we have these customers, there are handsome guys and beautiful girls everywhere, but how come I’ve never seen one that makes you want to fall in love?’
‘Don’t think about these useless things,’ Jiang Xi said, finishing arranging the shelves and turning to open the cabinet inside the bar.
He saw the rectangular box at a glance, paused for a moment, and then closed it again.
‘Useless? It’s quite useful,‘ said Qin Song. “To be honest, when I first followed you here, I thought we were going to set up a bar, a gay bar, and I fantasised about starting a touching love affair with that young and beautiful customer!”
’You didn’t find a partner even though you didn’t set up a gay bar, did you?’ Jiang Xi wiped his hands with a wet wipe and walked over to open the wardrobe. ’I’ll go first, you carry on.’
‘Ah… I’m all alone again!‘ Qin Song slumped down in the corner of the bar, his head hanging down, complaining, “I’m lonely!”
’If you’re lonely, just look across the street,’ Jiang Xi said, laughing at him as he put on his coat, “and look at the plum blossoms to quench your thirst.”
Qin Song laughed, “Naughty!”
After buttoning up his coat, Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, but didn’t move the scarf hanging inside.
He was about to go out when he heard Qin Song say, ‘By the way, Brother Xi, is it true that you two knew each other before, the guy who came here today?’
Jiang Xi looked back at him and said, ‘Why do you ask?’
‘It’s nothing, just a feeling,’ said Qin Song, ‘but then again, he set me up today!’
Jiang Xi frowned, turned around, and his face immediately turned cold.
“What did he do to you?’
‘Not really. He just wanted to know where you live.”
Jiang Xi let out a sigh of relief when he heard this.
When Qin Song said that Pei Chongyuan was trying to trap him, Jiang Xi immediately became nervous. His first reaction was that Pei Chongyuan had not changed, and even in his current state, he was still trying to seduce young boys.
When Qin Song explained, his first thought was: ’Thank goodness.’
With a furrowed brow, Jiang Xi asked himself inwardly, ‘What are you happy about?
What are you happy about?
Jiang Xi had an answer, but he didn’t want to admit it. He would never repeat the same mistake.
’What did you say?‘ Jiang Xi asked.
’Then I definitely can’t tell him,’ Qin Song winked at him triumphantly, “I’m on your side.”
Jiang Xi laughed, “Go about your business.”
After saying that, Jiang Xi pushed the door open and went out.
This winter came early and fiercely.
It was still not November, but the weather was already very cold.
He stood in the doorway, raised his hand and squeezed the collar of his overcoat to prevent the cold wind from getting in. After taking a few steps, he even regretted not bringing the scarf with him.
He stepped on the slippery ground, walked to the car, and got in.
It was cold in the car, so Jiang Xi thought about having a cigarette, but he couldn’t find his lighter after searching for a long time.
He didn’t find the lighter, but he saw a silver cufflink tucked between the backrest and the seat. It was quite hidden, and you could tell it had been deliberately placed there.
Jiang Xi didn’t need to guess to know it belonged to Pei Chongyuan, and he just waited for him to find it.
Jiang Xi took out the cufflink, and suddenly remembered the one he had thrown away before. He sneered, opened the car door and walked down the stairs, and without mercy, he threw it in the trash can.
‘You really don’t give me any face,‘
Jiang Xi heard a voice, and turned to look.
Pei Chongyuan was smiling at him from the doorway of the convenience store diagonally behind them.
Jiang Xi turned back to him, looked him square in the eye, and pretended not to understand what he was saying.
’My pair of cufflinks weren’t cheap,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “I bought them a long time ago, you know.”
’I know,’ Jiang Xi said.
Jiang Xi knows every piece of clothing Pei Chongyuan has worn in the past, and even the buttons on each piece of clothing.
Not to mention a pair of cufflinks.
‘I don’t know,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘I already said it was in the past, who can remember that clearly.’
Pei Chongyuan was once again rebuffed, but he could only smile in response.
Although Jiang Xi has changed a lot compared to the past, to a large extent, it is only his attitude towards him that has changed.
Seven years ago, Jiang Xi would only be unprotected in front of him, like a true teenager, dependent and intimate.
Now he has simply returned to the same position as everyone else and will never be treated specially again.
‘Fine, it’s good not to remember,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘people can’t always live in the past, they have to look forward.’
Jiang Xi looked at him coldly and then walked around him into the convenience store.
A lighter, two yuan.
When Jiang Xi came out after buying it, Pei Chongyuan was still standing there watching him.
‘It’s quite undignified of you,’ Jiang Xi said as he lit a cigarette, ‘or are you having a hard time right now and looking for someone to improve your living conditions?’
Jiang Xi’s words made Pei Chongyuan’s face immediately hang in the air. Anyone could hear that they were full of barbs and humiliation.
Pei Chongyuan was quite sad, but he could also understand.
Isn’t it true that I have nothing right now, and I’m still circling around other people, doesn’t it feel like I’m begging for support?
He laughed, and said mockingly, ‘If I beg for support from you now, will you support me?’
Jiang Xi looked up at him and laughed, ‘No, there are so many young and cute college students, why would I look for you?’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him, walked over, took the cigarette from his mouth, and took a drag himself.
‘Jiang Xi,‘ Pei Chongyuan moved very close to him, so close that he could even see his own reflection in the other person’s dark pupils, “I know that it still hurts when you see my heart, and you can say whatever you like with your mouth, and there’s no problem with you letting off steam, I’ll take it all, but you won’t find anyone else.”
After he had finished speaking, he took a half step back and looked at Jiang Xi.
’Really, when I’m not around, you can mess around with whoever you like, but when I’m back, I’ll get you back.’ Pei Chongyuan took a drag on Jiang Xi’s cigarette and said, ‘Is that sarcasm?’
He laughed, ‘It really does sound pretty bad. Don’t say that again. You’ve made my heart feel like it’s full of holes.’
‘Who are you to say that?’ Jiang Xi looked at him.
It was as if no one’s heart was intact.
“Forget it, that’s enough for today. I really do have something to do later.’ Pei Chongyuan took a deep drag on his cigarette and returned it to Jiang Xi’s mouth. ‘We’ve kissed indirectly, so my trip today wasn’t a waste.’
He turned around and walked to the curb, but then suddenly remembered something and turned back.
‘There’s something I need to tell you,’ Pei Chongyuan said as he watched Jiang Xi extinguish the cigarette. ‘I have nothing going on with Xiang Ran. Believe it or not, I can’t hold anyone else in my heart.’

Chapter 50: Close to the water
Everyone thinks that Jiang Xi lives a carefree life, but in fact, there are many things that matter to him.
Before he met Pei Chongyuan, he was indeed carefree, with no one else in his eyes, and even less in his heart. However, since meeting Pei Chongyuan, Jiang Xi’s life has been repeatedly folded, folded into a pocket, with a name written inside—Pei Chongyuan.
What exactly is it about this person that attracts him?
It took Jiang Xi three years and a period of complete calm before he finally understood that Pei Chongyuan attracted him not only because of how spirited and full of energy the man was back then, but also because of the air of confidence that came from being older than Jiang Xi and having a sense of mastery over everything, as well as the affection from an ‘adult’ that Jiang Xi had lacked since childhood.
He had a natural filter for Pei Chongyuan, so in that relationship, he became an accessory, an admiring follower who bowed submissively.
After they broke up, Jiang Xi withdrew from that state and gradually learned not to look up to Pei Chongyuan anymore.
And now, not only is he not looking up to him, but Pei Chongyuan has fallen because of a change of events.
Time and events have worked together to completely destroy the original state of Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi watched him leave in the car, feeling a mixture of sadness and disappointment. He lit a cigarette and watched the car turn the corner at the intersection.
It’s easy to say harsh things, but most people just listen and don’t take them seriously.
After saying all that nonsense to Jiang Xi, Pei Chongyuan didn’t show up again for several days.
He didn’t bother Jiang Xi, didn’t come to the store to be in the way, and didn’t even send a text or make a phone call.
Jiang Xi was happy to have the peace and quiet, walking the dog every day, opening the shop, and listening to Qin Song make Christmas plans for the shop.
‘Did you hear what I said?’ Qin Song said. ‘Why do I feel like you’re just letting it go in one ear and out the other?’
Before Jiang Xi could say anything, Qin Song asked again, ‘Brother Xi, which ear do you use to hear the phone?’
Jiang Xi smiled helplessly: ‘My left ear.’
‘So it’s your right ear that’s going out,’ Qin Song sighed, ‘block up your right ear and listen to me again.’
‘…No need, I’m listening.’ Jiang Xi sat on the floor and watched his tail eat, ‘It’s only the beginning of November, you’re planning far in advance.’
‘Of course. I messed up last year, so I need to make up for it this year.‘ Qin Song loves to have fun and get involved in the action. He is most willing to do all kinds of festive activities in the store. Last year, he organised a Christmas party, but when the accounts were settled at the end of the year, it turned out that he had practically worked for nothing.
’Just do whatever you want to organise,’ Tail said, after finishing eating and coming over to snuggle in Jiang Xi’s arms. He stroked Tail’s head while saying, ’Just don’t make me compensate for it. If you do, you can make it up to me yourself, and we can talk about everything else.’
Qin Song grunted and muttered, ‘I don’t know whose store this is, yours or mine!’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘How about I make you the assistant manager?’
‘No thanks, I can’t handle it,’ said Qin Song. ‘But, Brother Xi, there’s something I want to discuss with you.’
‘What is it?’
“Do you remember Xiao Wen?’
‘Your little boyfriend.‘
’Oh, no, not a boyfriend,‘ Qin Song laughed, “not yet. He made a little mistake recently and was fired by the boss.”
’You want him to help out at the store?‘
’No, no, that’s not what I meant,’ Qin Song said, “he can’t stay in the dormitory after being fired, and the kid doesn’t have much money, so he asked me where he could rent a place cheaply.”
Jiang Xi lay down on the floor, wrapping his tail around him and saying, ’I don’t know.’
‘You definitely don’t know,‘ Qin Song said, “I was thinking, there are rental properties upstairs from our shop, but they’re quite expensive. I was thinking, I’ll rent it and then rent it to him at a low price. Do you think I’m a bit stupid for doing this?”
’What are you messing with?‘
’Isn’t this like getting the moon first by approaching the water? What if he lives far away and doesn’t come to work here anymore, where would I find him?’ Qin Song said, ‘I’ll be his sub-landlord, and we can still get to know each other. Is my plan stupid?’
‘Stupid.’
‘…annoying.’
Jiang Xi laughed: ‘Did he find a job?’
‘He was just fired yesterday, and he’s still panicking. No.’ Qin Song said, ‘The main thing is that he stutters a bit, so it’s not easy to find.’
‘Can you handle the store by yourself?’
“Huh? What do you mean?’
Jiang Xi said, ‘Why don’t you ask him if he wants to come here? You should have hired someone else a long time ago. I’m always not in the store, and you can’t do it by yourself.’
Qin Song was silent for a few seconds.
‘If he doesn’t want to, that’s fine.’
‘Yes!’ Qin Song slapped the table, ‘Boss, you are really a kind person!’
‘Don’t put a high hat on me,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘The screening room on the third floor is usually not used much. You can clean it up and get a bed.’
Qin Song understood and was moved to tears on the other end of the line.
‘Stop acting, you do what you want, I’ll come over later today.’
‘Yes, boss, you go about your business, I won’t cause you any trouble!’ Before hanging up, Qin Song pretended to sob, ‘Boss, I will never forget your kindness, I wish you happiness like the East China Sea and longevity like the Nanshan Mountains, and that you will meet the one you love soon!’
Qin Song hung up the phone, and Jiang Xi wanted to scold him but didn’t know where to start.
‘The one he loves?’
Jiang Xi laughed, threw the phone aside, hugged his tail and fell asleep on the floor again.
It was almost two o’clock when Jiang Xi was awakened by a loud noise.
There weren’t many tenants who had moved into his building, and the other day when he returned early, it was past eight o’clock in the morning, and when he looked up, he saw that there were no more than five households in the entire building with lights on.
Today, the hallway was suddenly so noisy, and he subconsciously frowned.
Tail also woke up and ran to the door before him.
Tail doesn’t like to bark, so he tilted his head to look at the door and then at Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi stood up, looked at the time, went inside, changed his clothes, and prepared to take Tail downstairs for a walk. After walking it, he would have to go to the store again.
He took the leash out and put it on Tail.
It had quietened down outside the door, and he guessed that it was either renovation or moving.
Since Jiang Xi had moved in, he had never seen anyone next door, and he didn’t even know if the house had been sold.
He put on his coat and went out, and found that the door of the neighbour’s house was ajar, with two suitcases placed at the entrance.
Jiang Xi took the leash and entered the elevator, not at all thinking about saying hello to his new neighbour.
He took his tail with him as he walked around the neighbourhood. As he was about to go home, he received a WeChat message from Qin Song saying that Xiaowen had agreed, but insisted on waiting until the store manager arrived for the interview.
Jiang Xi laughed and sent a voice message to Qin Song: ‘Just say that you are the assistant store manager and are in charge of the interview.’
Qin Song sent him a funny emoticon of a squirming little person, and then another one of a kitten giving a kiss.
Jiang Xi replied to him: ‘Withdraw this last one.’
When he put his phone back in his pocket, Jiang Xi felt unexpectedly good.
Love really does differ from person to person. He himself was no longer in love, but there were always people experiencing sweet love.
That wasn’t a bad thing.
When Jiang Xi went upstairs, the door next door had already closed. The previously plastic-wrapped security door had been cleaned up and a dark grey floor mat had been placed at the entrance.
It looked like someone had really moved in.
Jiang Xi remembered what Qin Song had said, that Pei Chongyuan wanted to know where he lived, and also remembered the guy’s mantra of ‘near the water, first to get the moon’.
He didn’t think of himself as something that had to have the moon, he wasn’t that important in Pei Chongyuan’s mind, but he still sighed when he saw that someone had moved in next door.
But that’s fine, Jiang Xi felt that this was more than fine, Pei Chongyuan must not come and disturb his peaceful life, although it’s pointless, he still wants to live a few more years.
Jiang Xi went to the store after dark. Qin Song was busy serving customers, and Xiao Wen stood stiffly to the side, like a schoolboy standing in punishment.
‘What’s wrong?’ Jiang Xi asked, hanging up his coat and glancing at the scarf that was still hanging there.
Qin Song had just returned from upstairs, where he had delivered some wine, and told Jiang Xi, ‘I’m waiting for your interview.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘Isn’t that your job?’
‘He doesn’t trust me,’ Qin Song said. “You two chat, I’m busy as hell.”
Jiang Xi asked Xiaowen to sit down. Looking at the boy’s red face and stuttering greetings, she couldn’t help but laugh.
She asked about his age and background, and agreed on a three-month trial period, as well as his salary for this period and his regular salary.
Xiaowen nodded repeatedly, his forehead covered in sweat from nervousness.
Jiang Xi told him that in the future, if he had any problems, he should just go to Qin Song.
Qin Song grinned and watched them laugh. After Jiang Xi had arranged everything, he began to tell Xiao Wen what he should do.
With Xiao Wen around, Jiang Xi had even more free time.
He sat at the bar and watched them go about their work.
Isn’t that stupid?
He thought about Qin Song’s question.
When you’re in your teens or twenties, it’s inevitable to get carried away by a crush. It’s not stupid.
Isn’t it stupid?
Jiang Xi thought back to his own years.
Nineteen, twenty.
During those years, Pei Chongyuan taught him how to quickly become an indifferent adult like a knife.
That night, Jiang Xi stayed in the store until after ten o’clock and didn’t get home until almost eleven.
He got out of the elevator and glanced at the family living next door.
In a building with two apartments per floor, they will inevitably bump into each other in the future, so Jiang Xi just prayed that the people living next door would be quiet.
He took out his key, opened the door, and before he could turn it the last bit, the door next door opened first.
‘Good evening.’
Jiang Xi frowned as soon as he heard the voice.
He turned his head to look over, and Pei Chongyuan was standing there in his loungewear, the same set of loungewear that the two of them had worn back then.
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and smiled frankly, ‘Surprised?’
Jiang Xi ignored him and opened the door and went inside.
Pei Chongyuan had long expected him to react this way, and was not at all frustrated. When someone has no expectations at all for something, no possibility can make them disheartened.
After entering the house, Jiang Xi stood in the doorway, clenching his teeth. He was full of thoughts about what Qin Song had said, ‘Those closest to the water enjoy the moon first.’
His cat came over to rub against him, and he looked down at it.
In a moment, the door was knocked on.
Jiang Xi didn’t intend to answer, but after thinking about it, he opened the door.
‘Pei Chongyuan, how did you know where I live?’
Pei Chongyuan said with a face full of honesty, ‘I saw you enter the community, park the car, open the building door and come in, and then wait downstairs, watching which house’s lights came on.’
‘Stalking?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘quite shameless.’
‘Yes, it’s pretty shameless,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “I’ve been shameless with you for a long time. This is the last time. I have no choice, but it won’t happen again. From now on, I’ll be sincere and open-minded.”
He put a plate of dumplings in Jiang Xi’s hands: “Today is the beginning of winter, so let’s eat dumplings.”
After saying that, Pei Chongyuan turned around and went back to his own home.

Chapter 51: Reinventing
The dumplings that Pei Chongyuan had delivered were still steaming, and it was not clear when they had been cooked.
They might have been cooked for a while, or they might have just been cooked.
Jiang Xi stood there until his tail flapped up and almost knocked over the plate of dumplings, before he hurriedly retreated indoors.
There were 22 dumplings in total, which had been cooked very well and none of which had a broken skin.
Jiang Xi put the plate on the coffee table, looked at the plate of dumplings without moving, and smoked.
He never liked dumplings, but after being with Pei Chongyuan, there were always a few times a year when he was forced to eat some.
It was like a ritual, something Jiang Xi felt was dispensable, but Pei Chongyuan felt was essential.
After finishing a cigarette, the dumplings were half-cold.
He got up to wash his hands, and when he came back, he saw Tail with its front paws resting on the coffee table, staring at the plate of dumplings, wanting to eat but afraid to make a move.
Jiang Xi smiled and rubbed its head.
‘They’re not for you,’ she said, and picked up a dumpling with her hand, thinking about it for a long time before giving up.
He carried the plate to the kitchen, stood next to the trash can for a long time, until his hand holding the plate started to get sore.
It’s not good to waste food.
The dumplings were innocent.
He sighed, placed the plate of dumplings on the counter, rested one hand on the edge of the countertop, and used the other hand to hold the dumplings, finishing them one by one.
Pork and mushrooms.
He didn’t really like the taste.
He didn’t like it, but it was familiar.
Jiang Xi didn’t like dumplings with any filling, so every year he went along with Pei Chongyuan’s tastes, who liked this one.
One after the other, he fed them into his mouth, eating slowly and emptying his mind of all thoughts.
When he came back to his senses, the plate was empty, and on the white plate before him was printed a string of English: Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you. The first lesson in his English textbook that year.
Nice to meet you.
Jiang Xi looked down at the string of English and felt something catch in his throat, something he couldn’t swallow or spit out.
He finished washing the dishes, put them aside, and then poured a glass of water, gulping it down in one go.
Nice to meet you.
What’s so nice about it?
After eating the dumplings, Jiang Xi didn’t go straight to bed. His stomach felt uncomfortable.
He curled up on the sofa to watch a movie, with his cat sprawled on his lap, dozing.
‘The Purple Rose of Cairo.’ He didn’t know how many times he had watched it, or why whenever he felt like watching a movie, he would always turn to this one.
The film follows him, or rather, he seems to have travelled along the course of the film in different ways.
On screen, Tom is attracted by Cecilia’s obsession with the film and comes out of the virtual world, wanting to experience freedom and the real world with her.
He, on the other hand, is obsessed with Pei Chongyuan and is drawn into a virtual world by that person, experiencing an unauthentic love and happiness.
At the end of the story, Cecilia finally recognises the difference between reality and illusion, and he finally returns from the illusion of happiness to the cold world.
‘I seem to have found the happiness I’ve been looking for.’
The man on the screen is still singing.
What he is singing is essentially the elegy of Cecilia’s love.
What is real?
What is fake?
Tonight’s plate of dumplings is real, the one from seven years ago was fake.
Jiang Xi is already able to tell the difference.
At 2am, Jiangxi turned off the TV, covered the cat’s tail on the sofa with a small blanket, and went to bed.
Before closing his eyes, he thought: Maybe tonight’s dumplings are fake too, and the person living next door is not really him.
Early the next morning, just after 8am, Jiangxi’s door was knocked on.
He had just taken out the coffee beans he had bought the other day, and when he heard the knock on the door, he hesitated for a moment, put down what he was doing and went to open the door.
Pei Chongyuan stood in the doorway, fully dressed: ‘Did you eat the dumplings from last night?’
‘I threw them away,’ Jiang Xi said.
Pei Chongyuan smiled indifferently and handed him the insulated lunchbox he was carrying: ‘I’m going out now, so eat well.’
Jiang Xi frowned and glanced at him: ‘What do you mean?’
‘I made it for you.’
‘No thanks.’ Jiang Xi said, preparing to close the door, but then heard Pei Chongyuan say, ‘I’ll just leave it by the door, you remember to take it yourself.’
The door slammed shut, separating the two worlds once again.
Jiang Xi felt that Pei Chongyuan really didn’t need to do that, between the two of them, it was unnecessary.
However, thinking that it was unnecessary, Jiang Xi still opened the door when he heard the sound of the elevator descending.
Pei Chongyuan had already left, and the white insulated lunchbox was still there.
He looked down at it, thinking for a while, and his tail came over and sniffed around the lunchbox for a long time, then looked up at him.
‘You can’t eat it,’ Jiang Xi said to his dog. “He poisoned it.”
In the end, Jiang Xi didn’t touch the lunchbox. He went about his business as usual, walking the dog and going out to the bar, as if the lunchbox had never existed and the man next door had never existed.
From that day on, Pei Chongyuan was like a clockwork alarm, delivering Jiang Xi’s meals morning and night, and occasionally leaving some fruit and snacks at the door.
But Jiang Xi never moved, and tried to avoid unnecessary encounters with the other person as much as possible.
After not seeing each other for a few years, he didn’t expect Pei Chongyuan to do all this.
It was unexpected, but he didn’t relent.
Jiang Xi felt that he probably would never be moved again by Pei Chongyuan’s small favours.
In early December, heavy snow fell for several days in a row.
Jiang Xi noticed that Pei Chongyuan’s life had become very regular, as if he had returned to the 9-to-5 lifestyle.
Perhaps it was because he had found a job and was much more energetic. The despondency that he had felt when he first returned was gone. Although he was still a lot thinner than before, his slightly drooping shoulders were once again straight.
During this period, Jiang Xi only saw him a few times. Most of the time, Pei Chongyuan asked after her health and welfare through text messages and notes.
I don’t know where he learned it, but he started sticking notes on the door for her.
Jiang Xi never bothered to read them, but inevitably she would see them.
[I made some soup, it’s good for the winter.
]
[I’m afraid I’m going to become a professional chef for you.
]
[I’ve been busy recently, I’ll go to the bar to see you in a while.
]
[It’s cold, remember to wear a scarf, drive carefully, safety is most important.
]
…
One every morning and evening, like a childish primary school student.
Jiang Xi has never expressed any opinion on his notes, because she knows that not responding is the best rejection.
However, there was always one or two notes that fell unexpectedly when he opened the door and fluttered to the ground of the house.
The wind had brought them in, and no one could resist.
Jiang Xi had no choice but to bend down and pick them up. He had originally planned to stick them back up, but happened to meet Pei Chongyuan coming out of the elevator.
Late at night, Pei Chongyuan stood there with a chill and a dusty face.
Jiang Xi looked him in the eye, clenched the note in her hand into a ball, and went inside.
Pei Chongyuan looked at the traces of adhesive on his door, smiled, opened the door, and took the insulated lunch box that Jiang Xi had left untouched again, and went home.
These days, Pei Chongyuan has been really busy.
It’s easy to say the words ‘life reconstruction,’ but once you put them into practice, they consume most of your energy.
He had to find a new job, and it was almost like starting from scratch.
Fortunately, his relationships were still strong, and even though he had been released from prison, everyone was willing to help him, once they understood the circumstances.
Even so, the road was not an easy one.
Careers are actually very similar to relationships: when they don’t exist, it is difficult to build them up, but it is still easier to build something tall than to rebuild after a disaster.
After life collapses, starting over from scratch, lifting up the original foundation and removing the collapsed rubble, this process can discourage many people.
Pei Chongyuan gritted his teeth and held on, and for the sake of face, he had to put on an appearance of being relaxed.
He returned home and opened the insulated lunch box, which contained food and soup that had been left untouched for a day.
Jiang Xi was angry with him, but he understood that it was not a bad thing for the two of them to take their time like this.
Moreover, over the past few days, Pei Chongyuan had even found joy in life from this state of affairs. It seemed that every day of silently sparring with Jiang Xi was the most interesting and vivid moment in his otherwise boring and exhausting life.
The food that was left outside Jiang Xi’s door in the morning was not touched by Jiang Xi, and it would be served for dinner when he returned.
Although it’s been a boring day and the food doesn’t taste very good, there’s always a sense of relief that he’s finally home and can eat something warm.
It’s a kind of joy in the midst of suffering.
After Pei Chongyuan finishes eating, he washes the insulated lunch box, puts it aside, and waits until the next morning to fill it with new dishes.
After washing up, he lies on the bed and flips through the recipes stored on his phone, trying out different dishes in the kitchen, but in the end, he still ends up doing most of the work himself.
During this time, Pei Chongyuan was reflecting, and he suddenly realised that his previous self was indeed a bit ridiculous.
He always felt that he was spoiling Jiang Xi too much, but now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t even know what the other person likes to eat.
Whether it’s a couple, family, or friends, it’s always easier to be moved by yourself, and you forget that you’ve only moved yourself.
Pei Chongyuan looked at the recipe for a while, and fell asleep dazedly. Half asleep, he heard what seemed to be some movement outside.
He woke up with a start, frowning and listening confusedly.
It sounded like the sound of a door closing, and there was indistinct talking.
Pei Chongyuan looked at the time, it was almost time, and after a moment of hesitation, he got out of bed.
He put on his slippers and pajamas and walked directly to the door to open it and look out, but there was no one outside anymore, the elevator had gone down to the first floor.
The fact that Jiang Xi had suddenly gone out in the middle of the night made Pei Chongyuan feel a little uneasy.
He went back to his room, got his phone and called Jiang Xi, but the other party never answered.
He didn’t sleep well that night, worrying about Jiang Xi. Although he knew that the other person was a man in his twenties, and there was no need to report to him no matter what time he went out or what he did, he just didn’t feel at ease.
Until Pei Chongyuan left for work, he didn’t hear Jiang Xi come back. The usual early morning dog walking session was also cancelled.
Pei Chongyuan left for work as usual, putting the lunchbox outside his door and leaving a note. He left worried.
When Qin Song came to feed the dog at ten o’clock, he was dumbfounded when he saw the things outside the door. After hesitating for a moment, he took the lunchbox and the note into the house.
When Qin Song returned to the hospital, he said to Jiang Xi, ‘Brother Xi, have you fallen in love behind my back?’

Chapter 52: Concern
Qin Song said, ‘Someone has been asking after you, and I’ve seen it all.’
Jiang Xi was feeling sleepy at the moment, and upon hearing this, his sleepiness was scared away. He asked nervously, ‘What did you see?’
He didn’t want Qin Song to know about his relationship with Pei Chongyuan, or rather, he didn’t want anyone to know.
Over the years, Jiang Xi has become more and more cold, trying hard to present himself as a thick, well-made overcoat. However, in reality, this overcoat is an old model refurbished. It looks brand new and exquisite on the outside, but in fact, the lining still bears the traces of old age.
Jiang Xi wants to live a decent life and doesn’t want to bring up the past and relive old memories.
‘A note,’ Qin Song said, ‘saying that you haven’t been seen for a day, asking where you’ve been.’
Qin Song smiled and took out the neatly folded note from the pocket of his down jacket: ‘I’ve brought it to you, but I’ve seen what’s in the thermal lunch box, and you can’t eat it now.’
After giving Jiang Xi the note, Qin Song took out a white thermal lunch box from a paper carrier bag.
Jiang Xi didn’t need to look to know what the lunchbox looked like.
‘It smells delicious,’ Qin Song insinuated frantically, ‘I’ve been busy with your affairs, I haven’t eaten yet.’
Jiang Xi looked at the lunchbox and became a little worried.
For so long, Pei Chongyuan has cooked for him every day, and he has never touched it. He has even deliberately been careful not to bump into it when he enters or leaves the door, so as not to touch it, in order to let the other person know that he doesn’t like it or want it, and not to give the other person any illusions or room. As a result, today, after such a long stalemate, Qin Song broke it.
Jiang Xi doesn’t blame him, after all, Qin Song doesn’t know anything.
He just feels a little complicated, not knowing what Pei Chongyuan will think when he sees that the lunchbox is gone from the door.
‘You eat it,’ Jiang Xi said. “After you’re done, just wash the lunchbox and leave it here.”
Qin Song smiled: “Thank you for your kindness!”
Jiang Xi watched him hug the lunchbox like a treasure and go over to eat, sighed helplessly, then frowned and closed his eyes.
Yesterday, in the middle of the night, he suddenly had abdominal pain. At first, he didn’t know what was wrong. He thought to himself, half-jokingly, that maybe it was because he had said before that Pei Chongyuan had poisoned him, and now he was being punished.
Later, he realised that it was appendicitis.
Sometimes, appendicitis can be similar to a toothache. You don’t usually take it seriously, but when the pain sets in, it can be life-threatening.
He was sweating from the pain in the middle of the night in the depths of winter, and his clothes were soaked through.
It was late at night, and Jiang Xi felt that it was just an appendix problem, so he didn’t think it was necessary to call an ambulance. He just put on his jacket and went out. He didn’t expect that he would be unable to bear the pain in the taxi, so he called Qin Song.
Qin Song closed the store early and rushed to the hospital with Xiao Wen. One took care of the formalities while the other wiped the sweat from Jiang Xi’s forehead.
Jiang Xi even laughed at Xiao Wen, ‘It’s okay, don’t wipe it, don’t make it seem like I’m giving birth.’
Xiao Wen was amused by him, but still wiped the sweat on his forehead with a tissue every now and then.
The appendectomy was not a major operation, but Jiang Xi really suffered through all the procedures. He had to stay in the hospital for a few days after the operation, and had to pay attention to what he ate and drank. The only thing Jiang Xi was worried about was Tail.
Qin Song promised to bring the tail to the shop in the afternoon, but Jiang Xi was worried about the crowds at the shop, so he asked Qin Song to call Tong Ye and ask him to take the tail back and look after it while he was away.
‘Brother Ye and the others said they’re coming to visit you this afternoon,’ said Qin Song, after finishing eating and washing the lunch box. ‘This guy’s a good cook, Brother Xi is so lucky.’
Jiang Xi glared at him, took the phone from Qin Song, and sent Tong Ye a WeChat message asking him not to come.
‘Do you know what you look like to me right now?’ Qin Song stood by the bed, grinning, and looked at him.
‘What?’
‘Like someone who’s eighty years old and suddenly got chicken pox,’ Qin Song said. ‘I had my appendix removed in middle school!’
‘Are you proud of it?’ Jiang Xi had finished sending a message to Tong Ye and had intended to turn off her phone and go to sleep, but for some reason she clicked on the message.
The only person who would send him a message was Pei Chongyuan, because no matter how the other party added him to WeChat, he would just ignore it.
Sure enough, Pei Chongyuan’s message was quietly lying there.
As usual, it was a polite enquiry about his well-being, except that there was an extra sentence asking where he had been the night before.
Jiang Xi didn’t reply, just locked the screen and went to bed.
‘I’ll go back later,’ Qin Song said. ‘Xiao Wen will stay here to look after you.’
While packing his things, Qin Song said, ‘Xiao Wen can take better care of you than I can.’
Jiang Xi said listlessly, ‘No, I can manage on my own.’
‘No, look at everyone else, they all have someone to look after them, and you’re just lying here all alone, how pitiful.’ Qin Song said to him, “Our family can afford to pay for this person, and besides, I’m making a huge sacrifice, I’m letting my good-looking Wen stay here to keep you company and help your wounds heal and your body recover, and you’re still refusing? This is ridiculous!”
Jiang Xi laughed, “Your Wen? Does he know about this?”
Qin Song laughed, ’I don’t know, don’t tell him yet.’
Jiang Xi looked at Qin Song’s red ears and laughed. As she laughed, she felt a little envious.
She wasn’t envious of others having a relationship to talk about, but envious of this purity.
He had also been pure.
In the evening, Tong Ye and Rong Xiansheng still came over, carrying a basket of fruit and walking in.
Jiang Xi frowned: ‘In my condition, you bought fruit and delivered it? You did this on purpose, didn’t you?’
He turned to look at Rong Xiansheng: ‘Teacher Rong, you don’t care about him?’
Rong Xiaosheng smiled and didn’t say anything.
Tong Ye came in and looked around, nodding with satisfaction, ‘Not bad, the environment in this ward is okay.’
He put down the basket of fruit and said, ‘I just remembered that you can’t eat it for a short time after buying it, but it’s okay, it won’t affect it. We’ll take it back when we leave later.’
Jiang Xi was at a loss for words, unable to laugh or cry at his antics.
Tong Ye and the others chatted in the ward for a while, and they got up and left when it got dark after five o’clock.
Jiang Xi gave him the key to her home and told him to go straight to pick up Tiaoli: ‘Tiaoli is quite obedient, but it’s big, so don’t scare Ximba.’
‘Don’t worry, Ximba is lonely at home every day, I’m afraid it’ll bully Tiaoli.’
Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng left, and Xiaowen, who had been hiding outside, only came back and sat by the bed when she saw the guests leave.
‘Where have you been?’ Jiang Xi asked, ‘I haven’t seen you for ages.’
‘I, I… was outside,‘ Xiaowen stammered, “afraid of disturbing you…”
Jiangxi smiled and said, “No need to be like that,” before taking out her phone and putting on her headphones to watch a movie.
’By the way,’ Jiangxi said, ’I don’t think I’ll be doing much today, so you can go back to the store and clean up. It’ll be open soon, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it all by myself.’
Xiaowen was a little afraid of Jiangxi. Previously, when Qin Song asked him to stay behind and take care of Jiangxi, he was so nervous.
Now that he heard Jiangxi say this, he couldn’t wait to run back.
‘But, but…’ But leaving Jiangxi alone here made Xiaowen feel bad. Although it was only a minor operation, she was still the patient after all.
‘Don’t but,’ Jiangxi found a movie she wanted to watch, ‘hurry back, I’ll call you if there’s anything.’
Xiaowen hesitated, but in the end, Jiangxi drove him away.
When Pei Chongyuan returned from work, he noticed as soon as he got off the elevator that the lunch box was gone, and so was the note stuck to the door. Overjoyed, he immediately went over to knock on the door, but before he could do so, he heard someone talking inside the room, and it was obviously not Jiangxi.
He heard someone calling ‘Xiaoye’.
Pei Chongyuan thought of Tong Ye, and the two of them had dealt with each other quite a bit.
He didn’t want to run into the other person at this time, so he quickly opened the door and entered the room before the person next door came out.
Pei Chongyuan stood inside the door and looked outside through the peephole.
He watched Tong Ye and his boyfriend take Jiang Xi’s dog with them, talking and laughing, but he didn’t see what was going on.
Pei Chongyuan felt that something was not quite right, and guessed that Tong Ye and the others had gone far away, so he went back out the door.
He called Jiang Xi twice on the way to the bar, but unsurprisingly, the other party did not answer.
He was very worried that something had happened, and thinking back to the sound of the door closing last night, he regretted not going out to check.
Over the years, Pei Chongyuan has seen it all, and in theory, he should be able to handle anything calmly. However, whenever Jiang Xi is involved, he cannot.
Back then, when they were together, he couldn’t do it, and now he still can’t.
As he walked towards the bar, Pei Chongyuan even began to wonder what had happened to Jiang Xi and how much help he could be in his current situation.
Fortunately, 2008 was open for business as usual, as if nothing had happened.
Pei Chongyuan paid for the taxi and didn’t even take the change, heading straight for the door.
He pushed open the door and heard Qin Song say, as usual, ‘Welcome!’
Pei Chongyuan was relieved to see him and went over to ask, ‘Where’s your boss?’
Qin Song was mixing a drink and laughed, saying, ‘Brother, you’re being reckless today! Are you going to confess?’
Pei Chongyuan was so anxious that he had no heart to joke with him, but seeing Qin Song so relaxed, he guessed that nothing major had happened.
‘Confess what?’ Pei Chongyuan pursued, ‘Where is he?’
‘He’s not here today, and he won’t be able to come for a few days,‘ Qin Song said. “If you need to see him, there’s no urgent matter, so you can come back next week.”
’He went somewhere else?‘
’No,‘ Qin Song laughed. “He’s in the hospital.”
’In the hospital.‘
Qin Song’s tone was so relaxed that it made Pei Chongyuan furious. “The hospital?”
Your boss is in the hospital, and you’re still here smiling?
’What happened to him?’
‘Thanks for asking,‘ Qin Song said, “It’s nothing serious, just a small appendix, he’ll be in the hospital for a few days.”
Pei Chongyuan froze for a moment, then let out a sigh of relief.
Fortunately, it was just an appendectomy.
Pei Chongyuan sat down at the bar as if he had run out of energy, rubbing his forehead.
’Huh? What’s wrong with you?‘ Qin Song said, “Want a drink?”
’Which hospital is he in?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’I want to go see him.’
Qin Song stared at him for a while, then narrowed his eyes and smiled meaningfully: ‘I understand, you want to take advantage of him while he is at his most vulnerable when he is sick.’
‘…Can you tell me which hospital he is in?’
‘No way,’ Qin Song said, ‘I’m in cahoots with the boss, I can’t betray him!’

Chapter 53: Turning over a new leaf
It was actually not difficult for Pei Chongyuan to find out which hospital Jiang Xi was staying in. Qin Song or the new waiter would definitely go and check it out again in the evening, so as long as he waited patiently and followed them secretly, he would be able to find out.
However, he had already told Jiang Xi that the rental housing incident was his last ‘shameless’ act, and from now on, he would use his heart to exchange for sincerity.
Qin Song refused to say, so Pei Chongyuan did not ask again. After finishing his drink and paying the bill, he left.
He did something that might seem a bit exaggerated to outsiders, just a self-indulgent, self-arousing thing—going from hospital to hospital.
Starting with the hospital closest to Jiang Xi’s home, he went to the inpatient department and asked if there was a patient named Jiang Xi.
Pei Chongyuan would never have done something like this before.
Back then, he would have thought, if there is a more convenient way, why not take the shortcut? Why waste so much time on such meaningless things?
But for him now, this is not meaningless.
In this search, Pei Chongyuan suddenly had a feeling that he was not only looking for Jiang Xi, but also looking for himself.
The self that he had once sincerely and purely abandoned early on.
Recently, Pei Chongyuan has been thinking about one question: why is it that among all the people he has met, Jiang Xi is the only one he cannot forget, to the point where he is unwilling to let go of the other person no matter what.
He could actually see that without him, Jiang Xi’s life had been completely rewritten in the past few years, and his name was no longer in the other person’s life register.
The other person was leading a good life, but he just couldn’t let it go.
Pei Chongyuan walked through the doors of the hospital department and suddenly realised that in the past, he had shamelessly told Jiang Xi that he would guard his idealism, but in fact, up to now, it was Jiang Xi who was taking him out of the mire of the cunning reality of chasing fame and wealth.
The two of them were always pulling at each other, and it was never clear who would win.
This was the third hospital he had visited. After all the trouble in the depths of winter, Pei Chongyuan felt neither cold nor tired, but rather a little excited.
It was as if he had recovered the fervent belief of his youthful days. He had not felt like this for a long time.
‘Jiang Xi, right?’ The nurse at the hospital information desk looked it up, ‘Yes, there is one.’
Pei Chongyuan looked out into the ward corridor and smiled. So, the heavens do not disappoint those who are earnest. Although he was only self-moving, he was indeed moved by himself.
After asking for the room number, Pei Chongyuan thanked the person and walked lightly towards the room.
It was getting late, and he was afraid of disturbing others.
The hospital corridor was quiet, with the occasional passing of patients and family members. Everyone was quiet, maintaining a sense of awe for the night.
Pei Chongyuan arrived at Jiang Xi’s ward. It was a double room with a bed on each side.
He stood in the doorway and looked in through the window.
Directly in front of him was a window with the curtains drawn, blocking out the moonlight. On the right was a boy in his early twenties lying there playing games on his phone. The light-coloured bed curtains were not drawn, while opposite him, the curtains were drawn tightly, preventing him from seeing what the person inside was doing.
Pei Chongyuan withdrew his gaze and stared at the patient’s name by the door for a long time.
Jiang Xi.
He was familiar with these two words, but he still felt his heart flutter when he looked at them.
When you really love someone, even their name will seem extra special.
He gently pushed open the door and walked in. The boy in the bed on the right looked at him, and he nodded slightly to apologise for disturbing him so late at night.
Jiang Xi had been lying there wearing headphones and watching a movie, unaware that someone had come in. It wasn’t until the curtain in front of the window was pulled open a crack that he looked up and froze.
It was as if someone had suddenly pressed the mute button on the movie. He couldn’t hear anything, and could only see the man in front of him walk in, pull the curtains closed again, take off his overcoat and hang it up, and sit on the stool next to his bed.
Jiang Xi didn’t react for a long time. When he came back to his senses, he immediately paused the movie, took off his headphones, frowned, and asked, ‘Why are you here?’
Pei Chongyuan made a ‘shh’ sound to indicate that he should keep his voice down.
‘Don’t disturb the neighbours,‘ Pei Chongyuan whispered with a smile, “I’ve come to see you.”
Jiang Xi frowned, putting his phone aside.
’Last night I heard you go out, and I was worried that you were going on a date,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’although it’s not polite to say so, compared to you going on a date with someone else, this outcome obviously makes me feel more at ease.’
‘…can you shut up?‘ Jiang Xi was already in a bad mood, and now he had a perfectly healthy appendix removed, only to be hospitalised afterwards. He was annoyed at everything, and Pei Chongyuan’s behaviour was the last straw. If it wasn’t for the other patients in the ward, Jiang Xi would have lost his temper.
’You really can’t tell the truth?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed. ’But seriously, I was a little shocked today.’
He lowered his eyes and looked at Jiang Xi’s hand resting by the window. He wanted to hold it, but was afraid to.
He used to not be so cautious, he would hold hands and kiss when he wanted to. He was always confident that he could tame the person he wanted.
But now, he wasn’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t have that confidence anymore, but that he had given a lot of power into Jiang Xi’s hands.
If in the past he was a deep-thinking master angler who would choose different baits to attract Jiang Xi depending on the situation, now he is a calm angler, with even the hook straight.
He no longer uses any so-called tricks to deal with Jiang Xi, just waiting for the other person to be moved by his sincerity and come willingly.
This must and can only be between them, otherwise there will be no future.
This process may take a long time, and Pei Chongyuan is prepared for a long battle.
Jiang Xi looked at him and didn’t say anything.
‘When I got off work and went back, I saw that the lunch box and note by the door were gone, and I was happy for a moment, thinking that you had finally been moved by me,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, ‘but then I saw Tong Ye and the others take your dog away, and I thought, you must have something going on.’
He looked up at Jiang Xi and said, ‘You came here by yourself last night?’
‘Yes,‘ Jiang Xi looked at him frankly.
’It must have been hard, right?’ Pei Chongyuan said, “Why didn’t you call me?”
Jiang Xi laughed, “Why would I call you?”
He said, “Even if I wanted help, I could have called Tong Ye, Teacher Rong, Qin Song, there are plenty of people I could call.”
There were plenty of people, but not Pei Chongyuan.
‘Brother Pei, can’t you see it yet?’ Jiang Xi said softly, “It’s over between us, completely over. I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want you anymore.”
It was rare for Jiang Xi to speak so calmly to Pei Chongyuan: ’I used to love you very passionately, I treated you as my world, and I valued that feeling above all else. I’ve thought about it, and I was actually quite stubborn at times back then, including when we broke up.’
He suddenly felt like smoking, but he couldn’t at the moment.
‘I’ve thought about it since: if I hadn’t been so impulsive and had sat down and calmly talked things through with you, would things have turned out differently?’ Jiang Xi said, ‘But that was just the way I was back then: impulsive, with my pride above all else. It might seem laughable and incomprehensible to some people.’
‘I understand,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I understand.’
He really understood.
Jiang Xi’s so-called dignity above all else may not have been greater than his love for Pei Chongyuan. It was precisely because he loved him so much and gave it his all that he could not tolerate his partner’s deception.
A person who has difficulty trusting others finally opens up to someone and spares no effort to love and devote themselves to that person, only to suddenly be told that their trust is worthless.
No one would be able to accept that.
Pei Chongyuan understands him, and therefore understands him as well.
‘I’m not saying this to justify my past actions, nor am I reminiscing with you about the past,‘ Jiang Xi said. “I just want to say that no matter what happened in the past, the fever has already subsided, and I have recovered from my illness.”
’But mine hasn’t,’ Pei Chongyuan said, still with a heavy heart, taking his hand. ’Xi, I’m in no hurry, so don’t be in a hurry either.’
He said, ‘I’m not in a hurry to let you come back, and you don’t have to reject me in a hurry either. Our problems can’t be resolved just by turning the page, and you know that in your heart.’
Jiang Xi was silent.
He looked down at his hand, which was being held, and then slowly pulled it away.
‘I really have turned the page.’
Pei Chongyuan looked at his hand as it was withdrawn and sighed.
He wasn’t surprised by Jiang Xi’s words at all, because that was just the kind of person the other person was.
Decisive, saying that there was no room for separation.
Heartless, to himself and to others.
‘Okay, then let’s turn the page,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘If we can let go of the past, then we can start writing a new story.’
Pei Chongyuan stood up and put on his overcoat.
“You can’t put a broken mirror back together again, no matter how carefully you try to glue it,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘In your heart, this mirror of ours has probably already shattered into powder, and it’s impossible to put it back together.’
He walked back to the bed and looked down at Jiang Xi: ‘It’s okay, we won’t put it back together. After all, there’s still a long time ahead. If we sharpen it again, it will be even shinier and cleaner than before, and it will reflect the hearts of both of us clearly.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him slightly, and listening to his words, she couldn’t tell what kind of feeling it was.
Yes, in Jiang Xi’s heart, the broken mirror could never be put back together again. The deep and shallow, long and short cracks would follow them for the rest of their lives, and once they touched the cracks, it would be easy to break them again.
Therefore, he refused and resisted Pei Chongyuan’s approach.
However, he didn’t expect Pei Chongyuan to say such a thing—polish a mirror again.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Anyway, my life is restarting now, and everything is starting from scratch. There’s nothing bad about it, except for one thing…’
He smiled, leaned over suddenly, and left a gentle kiss on Jiang Xi’s lips: ‘I’m 35 years old, so don’t think I’m old.’
After saying that, he stroked Jiang Xi’s face lightly, took a half-step back, and prepared to leave.
“It’s pretty late, so get some rest. I’ll take care of you in the morning.’

Chapter 54: Little Master
When Pei Chongyuan lifted the curtain and walked away, he noticed that the young man in the bed opposite was looking at him, his face full of curiosity.
He walked calmly and composedly out of the inpatient building and stood outside to have a cigarette.
It was very late at night, and Pei Chongyuan had been tossing and turning all night, but instead of feeling tired, he felt quite refreshed.
Pei Chongyuan didn’t tell Jiang Xi how much effort and time it took to find him. There was no need to. It was enough for him to know.
Just as he knew how much he wanted to find Jiang Xi back.
After finishing his cigarette, he took a taxi home. He only slept for three hours, then got up and started making soup and congee.
The day after the surgery, Jiang Xi is expected to start passing gas and be able to eat semi-liquid food.
Before, in order to cook for Jiang Xi every day, the family had quite a variety of ingredients. Although in the end they ended up in his own stomach every time, Pei Chongyuan became more and more happy doing it.
It was almost 6 o’clock, so he tidied up a bit and left the house.
Before leaving, he glanced at the closed door of Jiang Xi’s house, hesitated for a moment, and then wrote another note and stuck it on it.
When Pei Chongyuan arrived at the hospital, it was still early, and Qin Song and the others had not yet arrived. The young man in the ward who shared a room with Jiang Xi was sound asleep, while Jiang Xi was still watching a movie on his phone and didn’t know if he had slept the night before.
When Jiang Xi saw Pei Chongyuan, he frowned.
Pei Chongyuan signalled for him to be quiet, then spoke very softly, ‘Don’t disturb anyone.’
Jiang Xi wanted him to leave and go about his business, but he was afraid that making a sound would disturb others.
He watched Pei Chongyuan put the lunch box down, and suddenly nervously looked at the lunch box on the other side.
Qin Song had put it there after washing it, and Jiang Xi had forgotten about it.
Pei Chongyuan hadn’t noticed it before, but when Jiang Xi looked at it, he followed the other person’s gaze and saw the white thermos lunch box he had delivered to Jiang Xi every day before.
He smiled, didn’t say much, took out the soup bowl, and hung it up to dry.
Pei Chongyuan leaned over to his ear and whispered, ‘How is it? Any gas released yet?’
Jiang Xi suddenly felt embarrassed when he was asked this.
Exhaling is, to put it bluntly, farting, and it’s quite an embarrassing thing to do. Not to mention Pei Chongyuan, if anyone else asked him about it, except for a doctor, he would feel embarrassed.
Jiang Xi glanced at him and didn’t say anything.
Pei Chongyuan laughed and whispered, ‘I’m sorry?’
‘No,’ Jiang Xi couldn’t hold back anymore, and said in a low voice, ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I’m afraid they can’t take good care of you,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘The two people in your store don’t know what time they’ll come, and I’m afraid you’ll be hungry.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him, wanting to say that there was no need for this.
Pei Chongyuan carefully arranged all the soup and water, and then went out to find a nurse to ask about Jiang Xi’s condition.
While he was gone, the curtains were lifted and the boy opposite woke up.
The boy opened his eyes and sniffed the aroma, then drooled when he saw the food on Jiang Xi’s table.
‘Brother, who is that person?’ the boy asked with a smile. ‘He made all this himself? He’s really good at cooking.’
Jiang Xi had spoken to the boy a few times, but they weren’t that close. He was already upset, so he simply didn’t reply.
His silence did not stop the boy from rambling on.
‘It smells so good, my mom doesn’t know when she’ll be here, probably not until after 8 o’clock.’
As he was talking, Pei Chongyuan returned.
As soon as the boy saw Pei Chongyuan, he smiled ingratiatingly and said, ‘Brother, did you really make all this yourself? It smells so good!’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him and understood at once that he was asking for a taste.
He turned to face Jiang Xi, smiled, sat on the stool next to the bed, and said to the boy, ‘Isn’t that right? I got up in the middle of the night to make it myself. Our little ancestor is picky and needs to eat well.’
Jiang Xi frowned at him and said, ‘What are you talking about?’
Pei Chongyuan just laughed and didn’t say a word.
The boy shut up and understood that this was ‘special supply for the little ancestor.’ He wasn’t so brazen as to ask for food again.
He heard most of what the two men said last night, and he guessed their relationship pretty accurately.
The boy was curious beyond words. It was the first time he had met a live gay person in his life, and it was all so new and exciting that he wanted to gossip about it, but as soon as he saw the ice-cold face of the man in the hospital bed, he didn’t dare to ask anything.
Pei Chongyuan saw that the boy had woken up, so he didn’t need to speak in a hushed voice anymore.
He carried the soup, blew on it, and handed it to Jiang Xi.
‘The nurse said you could eat.‘
’Pei Chongyuan.‘ Jiang Xi rarely called him by his first name, even if they met again later, Jiang Xi would still call him Brother Pei. “You really don’t have to do this.”
’Don’t have to what? Take care of you?‘ Pei Chongyuan laughed, “Isn’t this what you’re supposed to do when you’re courting someone?”
’You and I aren’t like that.’
‘Why not?’ Pei Chongyuan stood up and brought the spoon with the soup to Jiang Xi’s mouth. “To me, this is exactly what it is.”
Jiang Xi didn’t move, and Pei Chongyuan said, “Open your mouth, I still have to go to work later, so I can only keep you company for a little while.”
Hearing him say that he had to go to work, Jiang Xi actually loosened up a little.
Over the past period of time, Jiang Xi has not failed to consider how difficult Pei Chongyuan’s life is. Work and life, no matter which one can bend a person’s back, not to mention having to face him as well.
Sometimes Jiang Xi also thinks that Pei Chongyuan really has it hard.
Therefore, he hopes even more that Pei Chongyuan withdraws the energy he has placed in him, and goes to work and live his life well, and that life cannot possibly include him, Jiang Xi.
‘Open your mouth,’ Pei Chongyuan insisted, waiting with the spoon in his hand.
Jiang Xi and he were at an impasse for a long time, and then he saw that Pei Chongyuan’s hand, which he was holding so carefully, began to tremble slightly because it was getting sore. He gave up and drank the mouthful of soup.
From this moment on, he was doomed to be unable to win over Pei Chongyuan.
Both the old Pei Chongyuan and the current Pei Chongyuan, both the hateful person who was obsessed with playing tricks and the current person who is trying so hard to dig out the truth, know exactly what kind of person Jiang Xi is behind his armour.
No matter how cold and indifferent he is, he is still kind, no matter how stubborn he is, he is still soft.
When Jiang Xi finished the soup as if he had accepted his fate, Pei Chongyuan smiled as if he had travelled 100,000 kilometres over mountain paths and finally saw the treasure he had lost.
Jiang Xi was only willing to drink that one mouthful, and after he finished, he made up an excuse that he was too tired and wanted to go to sleep.
Pei Chongyuan no longer forced him, put the soup bowl back in the insulated lunch box, and told him, ‘Then I’ll go to work first, and later if you wake up and feel hungry, you can get it yourself.’
Just one mouthful was enough to satisfy Pei Chongyuan.
He put the lunch box on the table by Jiang Xi’s hand, put on his overcoat, and was ready to leave.
‘Don’t come back unless you’re fine,’ Jiang Xi said, lying there with his eyes closed. “I don’t want to see you.”
Pei Chongyuan turned around to face the person in the bed, his happiness just now halved. He wanted to say, “If you don’t want to see me, then don’t frown when you say that.”
But he didn’t say it, pretended not to hear it, and walked away with his feet raised.
Pei Chongyuan left the door, and Jiang Xi opened his eyes.
The boy, who had been lying on the bed opposite and had witnessed the whole thing, said, ‘Brother, you’re really heartless.’
Jiang Xi ignored him and turned his head to look out of the window.
The boy continued, ‘Isn’t my brother really nice? He came to visit you so late at night and made you soup in the morning. My mother doesn’t even do that for me.’
Jiang Xi felt annoyed. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to relax.
The boy opposite him fell silent for a few seconds, lying there, lost in thought. Suddenly he exclaimed, ‘I know!’
Jiang Xi was startled by him and frowned, saying, ‘What did you find out?’
‘You are actually a straight man,’ the boy said, ‘that’s why you rejected him! Damn, my reasoning is too meticulous!’
‘……Nervous,’ Jiang Xi said in a small voice, frowning and trying to go to sleep.
However, he couldn’t sleep at all. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw Pei Chongyuan.
Yes, Pei Chongyuan has indeed been very attentive to him over this period of time, so attentive that it seems like a different person. Probably no one else would have done so much.
However, he doesn’t need such attentiveness at all.
Jiang Xi still felt uncomfortable. He found that his mood, which he had originally adjusted well, had once again been disrupted by Pei Chongyuan.
Over the past three years, he had finally learned to detach himself from all emotions related to Pei Chongyuan. However, the sudden return of this person had once again stirred up the calm pool of water.
Jiang Xi felt annoyed.
‘Brother, are you asleep?’ the boy in the opposite bed whispered tentatively.
Jiang Xi didn’t want to deal with him and pretended to be asleep without responding.
The boy sighed. He was really bored. Even playing games felt uninspiring. It was hard to find something to talk about, but in the end, people found him annoying.
He shrugged, thought for a moment, and then he felt annoyed himself.
The boy stopped complaining, but Jiang Xi still didn’t fall asleep.
After a while, he opened his eyes and turned to look at the lunchbox.
He didn’t know how many thermos boxes Pei Chongyuan had prepared. The previous one looked exactly like the one he brought today.
He hesitated for a long time, then carefully sat up and reached for the lunch box.
Jiang Xi’s fingers stroked the smooth lunch box, and it was only then that he saw a small note pasted on the top.
“I won’t disturb you, so get some rest. I’ll come and see you after work tonight.’
Written in black and white, it was the handwriting Jiang Xi was familiar with.
Pei Chongyuan’s handwriting was very beautiful, and the carefree style was very similar to the old Pei Chongyuan.
He was now a little more composed than before, perhaps because he had suffered a loss, so he was also more cautious.
Jiang Xi thought again about that Xiang Ran. Pei Chongyuan kept saying that he had nothing to do with Xiang Ran, but he just didn’t feel comfortable about it.
And this discomfort made him feel even more uncomfortable. Logically, he should no longer care about what Pei Chongyuan does with whom, because he doesn’t even care about Pei Chongyuan as a person.
Jiang Xi sighed and opened the lunch box.
Pei Chongyuan’s cooking was now very good, light but also flavourful. Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, picked up the spoon, and sipped the soup in small mouthfuls.
The boy across from him looked at him and after a while, whispered, ‘Brother, you actually like that older brother quite a bit, aren’t I right?’

Chapter 55: Conditions
Jiang Xi didn’t like people who came right out and made friends with him, so even though he knew the other person didn’t mean any harm, he was just too bored, he had no intention of striking up a conversation.
The boy looked at Jiang Xi and, thinking that he didn’t look well, didn’t dare speak and retreated to the bed, pretending to sleep.
Jiang Xi slowly sipped his soup, repeatedly pondering his relationship with Pei Chongyuan.
It was so boring.
He frowned.
When Qin Song came over with Xiaowen, yawning, to deliver Jiang Xi’s meal, he noticed the aroma in the room.
‘What’s going on?‘ Qin Song looked at the thermos on the small table by his hand, “Who’s been here? Brother Ye?”
Jiang Xi lied casually, “Well.”
Qin Song leaned over and took a closer look at the thermos, and glanced at the one that had been placed on the other side.
’Are you sure it was Brother Ye?‘ Qin Song said, “It’s over, I don’t know what to do.”
’What do you mean?’ Jiang Xi asked.
‘Have you and Brother Ye been secretly communicating?‘ Qin Song frowned, “How can you do this to Teacher Rong?”
Jiang Xi looked at him askance, “What nonsense are you talking about?”
’It’s not nonsense!’ Qin Song said, ’I saw it all that day, the lunch box, the note, the concern for each other’s well-being.’
Jiang Xi understood that Qin Song had misunderstood.
It was not very kind to drag a friend down, especially when it would cause such misunderstandings. It was best to clarify things as soon as possible.
‘It wasn’t Tong Ye, so don’t worry about it,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘Just wash the lunch box and put it aside later.’
Qin Song muttered, ‘Oh, you won’t tell me anything and then you tell me to do the work.’
‘If you don’t want to, that’s fine.’
“I, I… I’ll go,’
Xiaowen stuttered, looking at the two of them, a little scared, not knowing if they were just joking or if they were really arguing.
‘It’s fine, it’s fine, you rest, I’ll wash it,’ Qin Song didn’t want to let Xiaowen do the work, so he pulled a stool over and asked him to sit down, while he took the empty lunch box and went to wash it.
When Qin Song came back, he was still muttering, ‘Who on earth is it? So concerned? Pursuing relentlessly!’
He suddenly remembered Pei Chongyuan, and was pondering when he suddenly heard Jiang Xi say, ‘Qin Song, don’t casually tell others about my affairs in the future.’
‘Ah? Ah!’ Qin Song thought he was talking about his hospitalization for appendicitis, and laughed, ‘Okay, okay, I won’t say it in the future, but let me tell you, that big brother came to the bar looking for you last night with a nervous face. When he heard that you were in the hospital, he looked dumbfounded.’
Dumbfounded?
Jiang Xi imagined Pei Chongyuan’s appearance and told himself not to be softhearted.
‘Later, I heard that it was just an appendectomy and that it was nothing serious, and he was relieved,’ Qin Song laughed, ‘if you didn’t know, you would think that the two of you were very close, and he was so nervous.’
‘Did you tell him that I was here in the hospital?’ Jiang Xi said to him, ‘you betray me every day.’
‘I’m innocent!’ Qin Song slapped his thigh, ‘I’m really innocent! He did ask, but I told him nothing, because I believe you are my brother and I must stand by you! Xiaowen can testify to that!‘
Xiaowen was so flustered that he could not speak, and could only nod repeatedly.
Jiang Xi frowned.
’Holy shit, is that really him?’ Qin Song placed the two lunch boxes together. ’That’s great, brother. If you want to capture a man’s heart, you must first capture his stomach. He’s a good cook, and he’s captured my stomach!’
After he finished speaking, Xiaowen looked up at him.
‘Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it,’ Qin Song quickly explained, ‘I just meant that he’s a good cook, nothing more. He’s not my type.’
Xiaowen lowered her head and smiled, but Jiang Xi couldn’t help smiling.
‘How did he find him?’ Qin Song muttered, ‘Did he go to every hospital? If that’s the case, it’s quite touching.’
‘You two have been busy all night, go home and get some rest,‘ Jiang Xi couldn’t bear to listen anymore, “just leave the food here, I can eat it myself in the afternoon if I’m hungry.”
Qin Song knew that he was annoying him, and he guessed that he was embarrassed.
’Okay, since the food is here, we’ll come back in the afternoon.’ Qin Song called Xiaowen to get ready to go, ’Well… Xiaowen, go wait for me at the door, I want to have a little chat with Brother Xi.’
Xiaowen was obedient, stood up and went out obediently. When he left, he thoughtfully closed the door to the ward behind them.
Jiang Xi looked at Qin Song expressionlessly, waiting to hear what he could say.
‘Brother Xi,’ Qin Song leaned over to him, afraid that the boy across the way would overhear their secret. He said earnestly, ‘I think that older brother is really nice.’
‘You think what the hell.‘ Jiang Xi glared at him, “There’s no way it’ll work out between the two of us, so you’d better go back and get some rest.”
’Why?‘ Qin Song said, “I can tell, he really cares about you.”
Jiang Xi laughed, “Qin Song, a friendly reminder, don’t be too naive, you can’t know a person’s heart just by looking at them, understand?”
’But sometimes the heart is written in the eyes,’ Qin Song said, ’Really, words and deeds can deceive people, but the eyes can’t.’
Qin Song straightened up, stopped talking, and just before leaving, he left Jiang Xi with a sentence: ‘Brother Xi, I really hope that someone will keep you company.’
He finished and left, leaving Jiang Xi lying there in a daze.
Living alone for a long time seems to make you not look forward to having someone keep you company. Just like Jiang Xi before, at a young age, he was able to take care of himself very well.
The two years he spent with Pei Chongyuan were unforgettable, and he couldn’t bear to let go of the feeling of being kept company, but there was nothing he could do.
In the period immediately after they broke up, Jiang Xi had a hard time, but time can change everything.
Time changed him, and it also changed Pei Chongyuan.
Maybe they have both become better people, or maybe they have both become worse, but it doesn’t matter what kind of people they have become, because they can’t go back.
The doctor disinfected and changed the dressing on Jiang Xi’s wound. As soon as the alcohol was applied, Jiang Xi broke out in a cold sweat from the pain.
He gritted his teeth and held on, only slightly frowning.
Sometimes he even wondered if he had a tendency to be abused now, and was actually addicted to feeling pain. The more pain he felt, the more he felt pleasure, and when he was shaking with pain, he felt exceptionally relaxed.
After the dressing change, his phone rang. It was a text message from Pei Chongyuan.
During lunch break, Pei Chongyuan missed Jiang Xi, and although he knew that the other person would not reply to him, he still asked, ‘How was your morning? Are you okay?’
Jiang Xi glanced at the message, turned off his phone and put it aside.
He didn’t know how long Pei Chongyuan could hold out. After all, that person had always been a refined egoist, and this kind of meaningless pushing and pulling shouldn’t last long.
Jiang Xi felt a little stuffy in his heart, unable to catch his breath.
Pei Chongyuan went straight to the hospital after work, and when he arrived at the ward, he found that Jiang Xi was not there.
‘He went out?’ Pei Chongyuan asked the boy in the bed across from him.
The boy had just woken up and didn’t know anything.
Pei Chongyuan was a little anxious and turned to go out.
He met Jiang Xi in the corridor, who was carefully taking cautious steps. The doctor told Jiang Xi today that he could try walking on his own, which would be good for recovery.
Although it wasn’t a major operation, the wound still hurt a lot.
As he walked forward, Jiang Xi once again thought of the mermaid in the fairy tale.
Back then, when he had first had sex with Pei Chongyuan, he had felt pain when walking back to school the next day, every step felt like it was being chopped with an axe, but his heart was filled with sweetness as if he could produce honey.
At that time, he thought of the mermaid, who had sacrificed everything for love, only to end up turning into sea foam, which had a kind of tragic beauty.
Now, when he thinks of it again, he no longer finds the story beautiful and moving, but only feels that the mermaid princess was pitifully stupid.
Since his idealism had been shattered, so-called love fairy tales all seemed false and sad to him.
‘Recess.’
Jiang Xi heard a voice and looked up to see Pei Chongyuan walking quickly towards him from the other end of the corridor.
He stopped in his tracks and looked at the other person as he slowly approached.
‘Why did you come out on your own?’ Pei Chongyuan reached out to help him, but Jiang Xi avoided him.
As he did so, he frowned in pain.
‘Okay, I won’t touch you, just don’t move.‘ Pei Chongyuan took a half step back and nervously looked at Jiang Xi.
’The doctor said I could take a walk,‘ Jiang Xi’s tone was calm, as if he and Pei Chongyuan were ordinary friends with no hatred, no grudges, and no love, “so I can recover quickly and be discharged from the hospital.”
’Don’t rush, take your time,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’if it hurts, take a break.’
‘Not everything can be stopped,‘ Jiang Xi said. “If it hurts, you stop, how can you move forward?”
Pei Chongyuan looked at him, but it was just a profile, a little pale and weak, looking exceptionally pitiful.
’Yes, you can’t stop when it hurts. You still have to rely on perseverance to do anything,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “Then I’ll accompany you, you can walk as long as you want.”
Jiang Xi looked at him, and unusually, didn’t refuse.
The two of them slowly shuffled along the corridor. Usually it was just a few steps, but now Jiang Xi had to take a long time to walk.
At the end of the corridor was a window. It was getting dark outside, and as they slowly approached, Jiang Xi could clearly see Pei Chongyuan and him through the glass.
Pei Chongyuan, who had always walked by his side, held his hands up in the air as if to protect him, ready to support him at any moment if he couldn’t hold on any longer.
In fact, this feeling still moved Jiang Xi a little. It was the feeling of walking along a thin sheet of ice, with someone ready to catch you at any moment, and it was very reassuring.
But it would be nice if that person wasn’t Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi stared at the glass window and watched the shadow of Pei Chongyuan.
Wouldn’t it be better if it wasn’t Pei Chongyuan?
Jiang Xi asked himself in his heart.
People are the least able to deceive themselves, even if they keep telling themselves that they don’t need this person, don’t want this person, and can’t have this person.
However, his heart is on the left side of his body, and Pei Chongyuan is currently standing on his left hand side, less than half a meter away from his heart.
‘Brother Pei,’ Jiang Xi suddenly said, ‘what are you after?’
He stopped and looked at Pei Chongyuan.
‘Three years have passed, what do you hope to gain from taking such good care of me?‘
’What do you think?‘
Jiang Xi looked him straight in the eye, and after a long silence, said, “When I get out of the hospital, let’s do it A, at your place or mine.”
’What do you mean?‘ Pei Chongyuan frowned.
Jiang Xi laughed, “Nothing in particular, I just want to do it.”
’Jiang Xi, you better get your attitude right,’ Pei Chongyuan was a little angry. ‘I didn’t treat you like this to be your pao friend.’
‘No? Then you’re really willing to do anything to have this mirror polished again?’ Jiang Xi’s heart ached, but a mocking smile played on his face. ‘You know, you don’t have a lot of credibility with me. How about this, if you do just one thing, I’ll believe you really love me.’
‘What?’
“Let me have sex with you.’

Chapter 56: Overthrow
When Jiang Xi said, ‘Let me fuck you,’ there was a teasing smile in his eyes.
He didn’t want to fuck Pei Chongyuan, but he was deliberately provoking the other person.
Didn’t you say you really loved me? Then I want to see how far you’re willing to give in.
We’re both men, and who says I have to lie under you and be dominated in a relationship?
Jiang Xi was being defiant.
He didn’t think Pei Chongyuan would agree, and even thought that the request he had made would seem ridiculous to the other person. Pei Chongyuan would leave in disgust, contempt or anger, laugh at his whimsicality, and then cut off all contact with him from then on.
The above conclusions were based on his understanding of Pei Chongyuan.
The two of them, one better than the other, one more dignified than the other, were both holding their breath and holding back their strength, not wanting to bow their heads in front of the other.
Then no one should bow their heads. It’s completely over, completely goodbye. Anyway, he never wanted anything more with Pei Chongyuan.
After Jiang Xi finished speaking, he looked at Pei Chongyuan and could clearly feel the other person freeze for a moment.
He thought, see, what love.
However, Pei Chongyuan just froze for a moment because he was really surprised. He didn’t expect Jiang Xi to say such things, and it completely took him by surprise.
But soon, he smiled, not in derision, but rather with a sense of relief.
‘Okay,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him frankly, ‘when you get better, if you want, I don’t have a problem with it.’
His tone was relaxed and normal, as if Jiang Xi had said that he wanted to eat hot pot after he got better, and Pei Chongyuan had agreed to his request.
Jiang Xi frowned.
‘I didn’t think I’d agree so readily?’ Pei Chongyuan smiled, ‘Xiaoxi, you still don’t know me well enough.’
He looked at Jiang Xi and said, ‘I do have my own principles and bottom lines. I have a very complete and unique worldview. Within these concepts, whether it’s dealing with people or relationships, I have my own standards and I won’t break them easily. For example, when I’m in a committed relationship with someone, I absolutely will not allow myself to cheat, and neither will the other person.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘Yes, no cheating, but you’re not being sincere.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed instead of getting angry, ‘You’re right to be sarcastic, I can’t deny that. Although you probably won’t believe it even if I say it, I still have to clarify that the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life is not having the right attitude at the beginning of our relationship. Now I’m paying for my actions.’
Jiang Xi suppressed his smile and looked at him coldly.
‘I’ve said all those things so many times, there’s no need to mention them again. I just want to tell you that you really don’t need to dissuade me in this way,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘I’m not one of those awkward brats who takes things seriously. When two people get together, it’s equal, and who goes on top is not a matter of principle. If you want to go on top, that’s fine, we can discuss it. My bottom line is not here.’
‘Where is it then?‘ Jiang Xi said, “Tell me, where is the bottom line? I would like to know. If I really touch your bottom line, will you stay away from me?”
’It was hard to say before, but now my bottom line is you,‘ Pei Chongyuan stopped smiling, and the two faced each other. “I will try my best to comply with whatever you ask, as long as it is within my power.”
’What if I tell you to die?”
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ’I’m afraid I can’t do that.’
He said, ‘Do you really think I’m some dumb kid with no brain? If I’m dead, what’s there to chase after you? I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I have to catch you before I die in this life. I’m burning with the desire to catch you, but I won’t become a headless chicken.’
Pei Chongyuan took Jiang Xi’s wrist: ‘It’s pretty late, don’t hang around here, go back to your room and rest, get better, I’ll wait for you to come and fuck me, don’t chicken out then.’
Pei Chongyuan’s response left Jiang Xi at a loss for words. If the other person was arguing with him, he could still say a few harsh things, but he just couldn’t deal with this kind of Pei Chongyuan.
That night, Jiang Xi had a nightmare. In his dream, he heard himself say to Pei Chongyuan, ‘Go to hell, jump off from here.’
They were standing on the roof of the 30th floor, the wind whistling, scraping his face like a knife.
He didn’t hear the other person’s reply, but watched as the person plunged straight ahead and fell.
Pei Chongyuan fell from the roof like a lone eagle without wings, and there was a sense of pathos in the fierce wind.
With a loud bang, there was a mess of flesh and blood.
Jiang Xi woke up with a start. It wasn’t light outside yet.
He was covered in sweat and lay there gasping heavily, as if it was himself who had jumped off the building. He felt a sense of survival after the disaster.
It took him a long time to come back to his senses, and he kept replaying the scene in his mind.
In the dream, he resented Pei Chongyuan for dying, but he didn’t feel any sense of satisfaction at having avenged his grudge. On the contrary, he felt like crying after waking up.
He could deceive others but not himself.
Jiang Xi closed his eyes and hated himself for being so hopeless.
In the following days, whenever Pei Chongyuan had some time, he would come over to keep Jiang Xi company.
Jiang Xi, who had gradually become accustomed to this mode of interaction, was less resistant than at the beginning, and she no longer spoke harshly to him. At most, Jiang Xi would deliberately find fault and tease Pei Chongyuan a little.
When facing him, Pei Chongyuan had an unusually good temper, allowing him to make trouble and never taking it to heart.
Between the two of them, the previous mode of interaction had been completely overturned, both the earliest feverish passion and the later hatred of seeing each other, wishing the other dead, had been overturned.
Jiang Xi felt that Pei Chongyuan probably wouldn’t be able to hold out for long, because no one could stand being around someone like him.
After a week in the hospital, Jiang Xi had recovered quite well, and with the doctor’s permission, he checked himself out of the hospital without notifying Qin Song or Pei Chongyuan in advance.
He left the hospital, took a taxi home, and was still carrying the insulated lunchbox that Pei Chongyuan hadn’t taken with him.
Along the way, Jiang Xi placed the lunch box on his lap and when he looked down at it, his heart did indeed stir.
He had been competing with Pei Chongyuan for so long, and the other person’s perseverance had exceeded his imagination.
However, in Jiang Xi’s opinion, there was probably really some liking involved, but more than that, perhaps it was the desire to conquer that was at work.
Because he had not treasured it when it was within his grasp, and now he was unwilling to accept that the person who once loved him so much was refusing with airs and graces, so he had become interested and was determined to win this battle.
Jiang Xi has never been a sentimental person who likes to daydream, but after meeting Pei Chongyuan, he was always confused by the other person, and even felt unfamiliar with himself.
It wasn’t far from the hospital to his home, and he soon returned to the home he had left in a hurry that day.
As soon as he got out of the elevator, Jiang Xi froze. His home’s dark brown security door was covered in notes.
Jiang Xi stood there for a moment, stunned, and then tore them off one by one.
There were fifteen notes in total. On each note, in addition to the words that made him frown, there was also the time when the note was written, starting from the day he left and up to the present. Pei Chongyuan had insisted on writing him a note every day, even though he had later learned that he was in the hospital.
It was like a fool.
The kind of clueless teenager who had never been in a relationship on campus.
It was ridiculous but poked at the heart.
From the beginning to the present, Pei Chongyuan always knew how to pry open Jiang Xi’s heart.
Jiang Xi took the stack of notes into the room, changed his slippers, and then went straight to the trash can, but stopped just before letting go.
He stared at his hands for a long time, then, as if admitting defeat, he took the notes and sat back down on the sofa.
In addition to these notes, there was also one that Qin Song tore off the other day when he came over. Jiang Xi spread out all the notes one by one and placed them on the coffee table, going through them one by one in chronological order.
[Went out last night? Be safe when you go out at night.
[Didn’t come back all night. Remember to eat when you get home. Today’s dinner is Kung Pao Chicken and Stir-fried Vegetables.
[You look quite good lying listlessly in bed, but this kind of good looks is enough once every ten years. In the future, it’s best if you don’t come to see me when I have a fever or a cold.
…
[It’s easy for me to agree to the things you ask, but I’m still a bit nervous. You’d better be gentle.
‘Never mind, it doesn’t matter if you’re not gentle, as long as you’re happy.‘
’I dreamed about you.‘
’Shut up, you little brat.”
The words on the notes were of varying lengths. At first, Jiang Xi laughed with disdain, but as she read on, she became more and more overcome with the urge to cry.
It was like a litre of lemonade had been poured into her heart, leaving her with a sour, astringent feeling that was hard to bear.
When Jiang Xi saw the last note, Pei Chongyuan said he was a little brat. He remembered the previous night, when the two of them had been walking in the hospital corridor, arguing with each other at every turn. In the end, Pei Chongyuan sighed and said, ‘I really fell for you little brat.’
Jiang Xi ignored him at the time and went back to his room, but now, when he saw Pei Chongyuan’s words again, his nose suddenly felt a little bit sore.
He suddenly imagined Pei Chongyuan coming back late at night, helplessly writing such a note and posting it on his door like he was letting off steam. It was a little funny and a little pitiful.
A little pitiful, and a little…cute.
Jiang Xi forcibly diverted his gaze from the notes, covered his face with his hands, rubbed them hard, and tried to clear his head.
He got up, washed his face with cold water, and then threw all the notes into the trash can.
Jiang Xi hadn’t returned for a week, so he changed his clothes, cleaned the house, and then looked at the time. He thought that Qin Song and Xiao Wen should be getting up soon, so he called Qin Song and told him that he had finished the discharge procedures and was already home.
Unsurprisingly, Qin Song was complaining furiously on the other end of the line, blaming Jiang Xi for not telling him in advance.
After dealing with Qin Song, Jiang Xi called Tong Ye again, ready to pick up Tail and go home.
He hadn’t seen Tail for a week and missed it quite a bit. Although he knew Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng would definitely not mistreat Tail, he still felt most at ease keeping his own child by his side.
‘Sure, come on over,’ Tong Ye said. “We were just about to eat dinner, so you can join us.”
After the call, Jiang Xi tidied up a bit, changed her clothes and got ready to go out. Unexpectedly, as soon as she stepped outside, she saw a young man coming out of the elevator with a blank look on his face, holding a cell phone in his hand and muttering the address of Pei Chongyuan’s house.
Jiang Xi subconsciously sized up the other person—not too tall, quite thin, very clean and delicate.
At first glance, he was someone who had no opinions and was easily bullied.
The other person looked at Jiang Xi and nodded politely in return.
Jiang Xi ignored him and came out, took out the key and locked the door.
The man stood hesitatingly in front of Pei Chongyuan’s door for a long time, his hand raised and lowered several times, as if he was afraid to knock on the door.
Jiang Xi thought to herself: It’s fine, knock. No one’s home.
At this hour, Pei Chongyuan should be at work. If nothing goes wrong, the man will go straight to the hospital after work, and it will be a while before he goes home.
But Jiang Xi didn’t care about other people’s business, especially Pei Chongyuan’s, and turned around and left.
Just as the elevator door was about to close, the man who had knocked on the door answered a phone call and said, ‘Hello, yes, this is Xiang Ran.’

Chapter 57 Explanation
The elevator door slowly closed, but the words ‘I am Xiang Ran’ managed to get through intact and stick in Jiang Xi’s ears.
The name Xiang Ran was not unfamiliar to him at all. He had heard it from Kong Xun before – I thought that person Xiang Ran looked really to your liking when he came before.
Kong Xun had said these words as a joke to mock Pei Chongyuan, but they were not funny at all to Jiang Xi.
After all these years, the name Xiang Ran has always been in Jiang Xi’s heart. They have never met, but Jiang Xi has imagined what this person looks like countless times.
What kind of person is so to Pei Chongyuan’s taste? After all these years, he has always been preoccupied.
Sure enough, they are not the same kind of person.
The elevator quickly descended, and Jiang Xi’s mind was full of Xiang Ran.
They really are still in contact.
Jiang Xi suddenly felt a sense of irony as he remembered Pei Chongyuan bustling around him these days. There was no sincerity in it, and he was still just a pawn in someone’s game.
His heart sank as the elevator descended, as if he was being crushed by a thousand-ton boulder.
The elevator arrived on the first floor, and Jiang Xi pushed open the door and walked out.
It was cold outside, and the howling north wind made his face ache.
He stood there for a long time without moving, letting the wind blow on him so that he could sober up a little.
He just stood downstairs for a long time, blowing in the cold wind for a long time, but Jiang Xi still couldn’t calm down.
He called Tong Ye and said that he had something urgent to do and would go over later.
In his current state, he really couldn’t go to dinner with Tong Ye and the others without making a scene.
After making the call, Jiang Xi took a deep breath, frowned as he looked outside the community, and then lifted his feet and walked out.
He didn’t want to go home, because he knew that the person who had gone back would definitely still be lingering outside Pei Chongyuan’s door, and he couldn’t stay at home peacefully.
This was pretty unpromising, and Jiang Xi despised himself from the bottom of his heart. What he hated most was the way he could hold on to things but not let go.
While verbally abusing himself in his heart, he entered the cafe directly opposite the community gate.
Jiang Xi sat at the window seat, and he could clearly see the people walking across the street if he turned his head. As soon as that person called Xiang Ran appeared, Jiang Xi would recognise him.
He was confident that he could recognise the other person just by taking a quick glance.
However, it was dark when Xiang Ran still hadn’t come out.
Jiang Xi glanced at the empty cup in front of him, got up and left.
He went to Tong Ye’s place to pick up the tail and prepare to go home.
As he was approaching the residential area, Jiang Xi received a call from Pei Chongyuan. It was usually the time when Pei Chongyuan went to the hospital, so he guessed that Pei Chongyuan had gone to the hospital and found that Jiang Xi had already been discharged from the hospital, and was now furious and had come to argue.
He never answered Pei Chongyuan’s calls, but today was an exception.
‘Hello, who is this?’ Jiang Xi pretended to be aloof and pretended not to recognise the number.
The exasperation he thought he felt did not appear. Pei Chongyuan asked calmly, ‘Are you home?’
‘Who is this?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed on the other end of the phone, ‘Come on, don’t pretend with me. Even if you are feeling better, you still need to rest properly recently. It’s good that you are home, so I don’t have to go to the hospital every day.’
Jiang Xi had been able to speak to Pei Chongyuan normally in the past few days, but today, because of the appearance of Xiang Ran, he was in a bad mood and started picking on him again: ‘Did I not tell you not to come?’
‘What’s wrong?’ Pei Chongyuan could hear the wrong tone in his voice, ‘Who’s upset you now?’
Jiang Xi didn’t want to have these unproductive conversations with him, so he hung up after saying his last words: ‘You hurry home, someone’s waiting for you.’
Pei Chongyuan stood in front of the hospital entrance and heard these words and was stunned for a long time.
Go home, someone is waiting.
Who could it be?
He smiled, then hurriedly ran out to hail a taxi and went straight home.
Pei Chongyuan had become accustomed to Jiang Xi’s indifference these days, and the sudden show of affection made his heart surge, even though he felt that Jiang Xi might be coveting his butt.
The two of them had previously agreed that when Jiang Xi recovered, he would let him do whatever he wanted, and Pei Chongyuan agreed.
If this were someone else, Pei Chongyuan would definitely tell them to go cool off somewhere else, but if it were Jiang Xi, he would bring his own lubricant.
Jiang Xi is just special.
To him, he is more special than anyone else.
That specialness permeated every minute they spent together, and Jiang Xi gave him a dream.
Pei Chongyuan has been a practical person since he was a child. He knows exactly what he wants and how much he wants it, and he knows exactly how to get what he wants.
Success comes easily to him, as do the good feelings of others.
So he never treasures anything, doesn’t feel that pure love is precious, and doesn’t even feel that the kind of love that is exclusive to him is real.
Jiang Xi taught him a lesson and made him realise that love is not that superficial or light. Love is an ideal world, a paradise that only Jiang Xi can give him.
It is the only one in the world.
It was also Jiang Xi who made Pei Chongyuan understand that the important thing in life is not just how much benefit you can get, but how much love you can hold.
He once watched the love in his hands slip away like sand between his fingers. Now that he has the chance, he will do his best to hold on to it.
Pei Chongyuan really had come to terms with it.
When he got off the bus, he went to a nearby convenience store and bought lubricant and condoms, making every preparation.
He felt no sense of sacrifice, nor did he feel aggrieved in the slightest.
We are all men, and our bodies are all the same. As long as I love you and you want me, it doesn’t matter who goes on top.
When Pei Chongyuan went upstairs, he realised that Jiang Xi was extraordinary. Her teaching achievements in the lessons of life and love were better than any professor he had ever known.
The elevator arrived and the door opened.
A second before the door opened, Pei Chongyuan’s heart beat a little faster because he had already decided that, once he got out of the elevator, he would go straight to Jiang Xi’s door and tell the person waiting for him that he was back.
However, when the elevator door opened, a voice that sounded a little surprised called out to him: ‘President Pei!’
Pei Chongyuan was taken aback and looked in the direction of the voice, only to find a person sitting in the open stairwell. It was Xiang Ran.
‘Why are you here?’ Pei Chongyuan was really surprised. He suddenly realised that Jiang Xi’s words, ‘Someone is waiting for you,’ might have been referring to Xiang Ran.
Xiang Ran’s eyes reddened as soon as he saw him, and he quickly got up and walked over to him.
‘I haven’t been able to contact you since you got out,’ Xiang Ran said, beginning to cry. ‘I finally found out where you live.’
He raised his hand and wiped his tears hard: ‘President Pei, I still remember what you told me at that time, but even if you say that I am not to blame for this, I still feel bad about it in my heart. After all, I was the one who followed that project, so how could I really have nothing to do with it?’
Pei Chongyuan really didn’t want to mention those things again. When he was detained, Xiang Ran used his connections to meet with him once, and just like now, he cried like a tearful person.
At that time, Xiang Ran kept apologising to him, feeling that he had caused the accident, but Pei Chongyuan understood that ultimately the mistake was his own.
During that period of time, his relationship with Jiang Xi deteriorated, and he was in a daze all day, unable to stop worrying. It was inevitable that there would be mistakes at work, and his overall state was very bad.
Under those circumstances, such consequences arose, and ultimately it was no one else’s fault.
Therefore, when he told Xiang Ran that it wasn’t the other person’s fault, he wasn’t feeling sorry for the tearful person, but genuinely felt that it had nothing to do with Xiang Ran.
‘Don’t cry,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him and felt uneasy. On the one hand, he didn’t know how to deal with him, and on the other hand, he was worried about Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi was sensitive by nature, and seemed to be obsessed with Xiang Ran. If Jiang Xi saw Xiang Ran standing in front of him crying at this moment, what would the person think?
But sometimes things just happen to coincide. Xiang Ran was still crying, his eyes and nose red, like a little rabbit. Jiang Xi was back.
Jiang Xi came out of the elevator by the tail, and just happened to run into Xiang Ran, who was bowing his head and sniffling, and Pei Chongyuan, who was frowning and looking annoyed.
Jiang Xi was prepared, his face expressionless, but inside he swore.
He walked around the two of them as if he didn’t know them, took out his keys and opened the door.
Xiang Ran didn’t recognise Jiang Xi and didn’t know the relationship between the two men. He just treated them as ordinary neighbours and continued to wipe away his tears and apologise.
Jiang Xi pretended not to care, but he was listening to what he was saying with his ear cocked.
‘I know you’re afraid that I’ll blame myself, but I have to pay for my own mistakes,’ Xiang Ran said. ‘President Pei, although I’m not very capable, if there’s anything you need from me, just let me know, okay? I really want to make amends.’
Jiang Xi turned his back on them and rolled his eyes.
Pei Chongyuan was really anxious this time, and impatiently said to Xiang Ran in a cold voice, ‘Can you stop crying? I’ve told you many times, it has nothing to do with you. Fine, if you insist on saying who was ultimately responsible for my misfortune at that time, I’ll tell you.’
Pei Chongyuan took a quick step forward and grabbed the door that Jiang Xi was about to close.
Jiang Xi was unexpectedly stunned for a moment, and then looked at Pei Chongyuan, who was pointing at him and said to Xiang Ran, ‘Because of him.’
‘…Are you sick?’ Jiang Xi said.
Xiang Ran was also confused, staring blankly at Pei Chongyuan’s handsome neighbour: ‘Huh?’
Jiang Xi frowned and asked Pei Chongyuan, ‘What are you doing?’
Pei Chongyuan didn’t hide it either. Since Jiang Xi had already seen him in a dishevelled and humiliating state, it wasn’t as if revealing one more scar would matter. He didn’t want to expose his unprofessional side at work, but there was no other way. If he couldn’t explain today’s incident clearly, he and Jiang Xi would be finished for good.
He confessed to Xiang Ran, ‘We broke up during the time we were signing that bullshit contract. Our relationship fell apart. I spent most of my energy trying to convince him that I really loved him. I didn’t even read the contract carefully. Later, your uncle pulled some strings behind the scenes, which was pretty obvious. Unfortunately, I was so focused on the relationship that I didn’t notice, and that’s how I fell.’
He sighed and said, ‘So, don’t take the blame yourself. It really has nothing to do with you. The only person who could mess with my mind was this little brat called Jiang Xi.’
As Jiang Xi listened to these words, suddenly, his spiritual world began to shake, and the roof tiles of the house in his heart began to fall with a loud noise.
He looked at Pei Chongyuan in shock, and then heard the other person say, ‘Xiang Ran, you go about your business, and don’t come back in the future. We have no friendship at all, and I don’t need your help.’
Pei Chongyuan had already squeezed into Jiang Xi’s house before he could react, and before closing the door, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I won’t entertain you today, we both have things to do, and don’t contact each other in the future if you’re not busy. From now on, you should use your head more often at work.’

Chapter 58: Entering the house
Pei Chongyuan shamelessly forced his way into Jiang Xi’s house, slammed the door behind him, and looked straight at Jiang Xi.
‘Did you hear that? This time, do you believe that I have nothing to do with him?’ Pei Chongyuan acted with utmost candour, saying, ’Apart from the fact that I have had more contact with Xiang Ran at work, when he was assigned here, we had dinner together a few times and went to a bar twice, but otherwise, we have had almost no contact in private. Moreover, even on those occasions, apart from us, there were also other colleagues. I was wrong to not make this clear before, and I caused you to misunderstand.
Jiang Xi had not yet recovered from the situation just now. He had originally come with the attitude of watching a joke to expose Pei Chongyuan’s false face, but the result was a reversal that made him indigestible.
‘Let me put it this way, I have never touched Xiang Ran. Even if I did like this type in the past, I had no opinions and was the type of person who would take whatever you gave him, but since I met you, do you think I could go back?’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘It’s not that I’m picking the good words, but this is the truth. As for Xiang Ran, I don’t even know what his sexual orientation is, and I’ve never mentioned it to him. We never talk about anything other than work, and at most I’ll give him a little advice not to be betrayed by his bullshit uncle.
Pei Chongyuan stepped forward and leaned closer to Jiang Xi. The two of them were very close, and they could see the shadows reflected in each other’s pupils.
‘You asked before if I told Xiang Ran when I was locked up, but didn’t tell you. Pei Chongyuan said, ‘He didn’t need me to tell him because he was involved in the project. He knew even if I didn’t tell him. Then do you know why I didn’t tell you?’
Pei Chongyuan continued to close in, and Jiang Xi frowned and backed away.
The two of them didn’t even change their shoes, and the soles of their shoes, which had just been trampling through the snow outside, were dirty as they stepped onto the clean floor.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Because I was afraid that you would worry and feel bad, because I knew that no matter how much you refused me with gritted teeth, your heart would still be as soft as cotton candy. Jiang Xi, we have been together for so long, and no one knows each other better than we do, you just don’t want to face it.’
He stopped and looked at Jiang Xi: ‘I didn’t even know if I could get out of it. I thought, don’t let you worry, I’ll come back to you after I get through it. And at that time, I was in a dismal state, locked up inside, and I also wanted to save face, I didn’t want you to see it.’
Pei Chongyuan originally didn’t plan to tell Jiang Xi these words, for fear that the other party would think he was selling his misery.
Was Pei Chongyuan miserable? It was miserable, but it wasn’t.
Who hasn’t fallen down in life? It’s just that his fall was unprepared and a bit heavy.
At that time, Pei Chongyuan, whose love and career had both hit a snag, was at the lowest point in his life in many years. He had so much to think about that he still feels a little overwhelmed.
But he can’t just keep falling without getting up. That’s not his character.
Pei Chongyuan has never been afraid of losing because he knows that success depends on one’s own efforts.
These days, his work is starting to pick up, and although it won’t return to its original state so quickly, there is no need for it to.
Life is all about moving forward, so why should it overlap with the past self?
It’s like his relationship with Jiang Xi, why should he stick to that broken mirror?
Wouldn’t it be better to start again?
With a new self, a new other, and a new way of getting along, start a new story.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Do you know what I bought on the way back?’
He took out condoms and lubricant from his pocket: ‘I know you’ve been discharged from the hospital, so I’m here to keep my promise. I know you don’t believe I can do this, but you should also know that I not only love you, but also respect you.’
Pei Chongyuan stepped forward again, pushing Jiang Xi towards the house while he began to unwrap the lubricant.
‘Today, you’re going to have sex with me, no matter what,’ Pei Chongyuan laughed. “Don’t you hate people who don’t keep their promises? You should do what you say you’re going to do, right? Jiang Xi, you have to keep your word.”
Jiang Xi grabbed Pei Chongyuan’s wrist with a firm grip, forcing the other person to stop.
‘Brother Pei, I’ve changed my mind.’ Jiang Xi didn’t have time to process what had happened. He had resented Pei Chongyuan for so long, pretending to be carefree and turning the page on the story for so long. He had thought he had become so skilled at acting that no one could see through his act, but he never expected that Pei Chongyuan would always be able to tear off his disguise.
This made him feel a little resentful and a little panicked.
Pei Chongyuan’s words were like red beans falling into a plate, one after the other, pounding against his heart.
Yes, he still can’t let go, and he still loves this person, but over the years, his beliefs and his dignity have not allowed him to think about this person anymore.
He would never admit this.
‘I broke my promise. I’ve become the kind of person I hate most,’ Jiang Xi looked at Pei Chongyuan steadily, ‘I don’t want you anymore. Just go.’
‘Are you sure?’ Pei Chongyuan stood there looking at him, ‘Then why are your hands shaking?’
Jiang Xi didn’t realize that he was shaking. He just felt very panicked.
It was like the day he was suddenly told that his happy family was nothing but an illusion, and that everything he had was incredibly absurd. Back then, what shocked him and made him unable to react was the immense pain of loss, but now it was an indescribable helplessness of not knowing whether to be grateful or regretful.
Helpless.
Jiang Xi hadn’t felt like this for many years. It turned out that he had thought he could handle everything because he had never faced anything that truly left him at a loss.
He really was at a loss.
Because he had begun to believe that Pei Chongyuan really did love him.
As the two of them faced off, Jiang Xi once again saw the roof of the house in his heart caving in with a crackling sound, as if the mountains were shaking and the earth moving. He was a fool who had never done any earthquake drills, and he didn’t know what else to do except to hug his head and flee.
He needed time to calm down.
“Xi, your hands are very cold,’
Pei Chongyuan’s voice, his words, his eyes, his temperature, like the notes stuck to his door, buried Jiang Xi like snowflakes.
‘You don’t want to do it anymore, that’s fine,’ Pei Chongyuan put what he was holding in his pocket and took Jiang Xi’s hand, ‘I’ll warm your hands for you.’
Pei Chongyuan’s hands were several degrees warmer than Jiang Xi’s, and he cupped them in his hands and rubbed them gently.
Jiang Xi was stunned for a moment, as he was all too familiar with this temperature.
But when Jiang Xi came back to his senses, he still bit his teeth and withdrew his hand.
‘I just came back from outside, so it’s normal for my hands to be cold,’ Jiang Xi tried hard to make his tone sound calm and his breathing seem steady. He said, ‘I just got home and need to tidy up.’
He pointed at the dirty floor and said, ‘And I need to clean up.’
This was a clear order to leave, and of course Pei Chongyuan understood.
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘Okay, I won’t disturb you then.’
He stepped back to the door and said to Jiang Xi before opening it and leaving, ‘There’s no point in avoiding the issue between us. When you torment me, you’re also torturing yourself, and there’s no need for that. One must learn to reconcile with oneself.’
He sighed and said with a wry smile, ‘Let me put it this way: even if you really won’t come back to me, I hope you can spare yourself, from the bottom of your heart, not just a superficial appearance of peace.’
Pei Chongyuan left, closing the door quietly as if he was afraid of interrupting Jiang Xi’s thoughts.
What was Jiang Xi thinking about?
He was thinking about Pei Chongyuan’s words:
‘People must learn to reconcile with themselves.’
Over the years, he had never thought about this, nor had he ever felt the need to.
He has lived his life with the two sides of himself constantly competing against each other. One side always wants to defeat the other, and each side is scarred but never tires of the battle.
Reconciliation? What happens after reconciliation? What’s the point of living in peace from now on?
Jiang Xi stood there for a long time, until his tail came over and lay in front of him, looking at him.
He crouched down and gently stroked the head of his tail. Suddenly, he felt like crying.
Pei Chongyuan returned home, and without turning on the lights, sat on the sofa in a daze.
He had said a lot today, everything he should have said and shouldn’t have said, and he had given it all to Jiang Xi. He hoped Jiang Xi would understand, but he also felt that it was probably still pointless for him to say all this.
What Jiang Xi needed never was verbal consolation.
That wouldn’t work for him.
Pei Chongyuan sighed, leaned back on the sofa, and looked at the condoms and lubricant he had placed on the coffee table, lost in thought.
He actually knew long ago that Jiang Xi would never really do it with him, no matter who was on top or bottom.
There was an element of acting in what he did today, but if Jiang Xi really did it unexpectedly, he would not resist. They had been at an impasse for too long, and change was inevitable.
Pei Chongyuan looked forward to this change, but he didn’t know which direction the future would take.
He feels for Jiang Xi. After they separated, he came to understand the other person more and more, and deeply understands that while Jiang Xi is pushing him away, he is also fighting with himself.
No one has an easy life.
Just as he said, he sincerely hopes that Jiang Xi can reconcile with him one day, and not be so tired, even if at that time Jiang Xi really doesn’t want him anymore.
In the darkness, Pei Chongyuan smiled, suddenly feeling how his love has been sublimated. He has never been this selfless.
He sat like that for an unknown length of time, and Pei Chongyuan felt a little drowsy.
He had been very tired recently, with a lot of work to do. He was so busy at the office every day that he could hardly put one foot in front of the other. In order to avoid overtime and be able to go to the hospital to accompany Jiang Xi, he even sacrificed his lunch break.
In a half-asleep, half-awake state, with a blurred consciousness, he suddenly heard a knock on the door and woke up with a start.
Pei Chongyuan froze for a moment, then rubbed his eyebrows and stood up.
When he reached the door, he switched on the light, opened the door, and was ecstatic the moment it opened.
Jiang Xi was standing there expressionless in her pyjamas, holding his thermos in her hand and saying, ‘Here you go.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled, took it, and called out to Jiang Xi as she turned to go home.
‘Have you eaten tonight?’ Pei Chongyuan said, “I haven’t eaten either, why don’t you come over and I’ll cook something?”
Jiang Xi’s hand was on the doorknob of his own home. He hesitated for a moment and turned his head to look at Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan said, “Come? Let’s have dinner together.”
Jiang Xi struggled for a while, slowly let go of the doorknob, and walked into Pei Chongyuan’s house without saying a word.

Chapter 59: Accepting one’s fate
For so long, Jiang Xi had never entered Pei Chongyuan’s home.
The design of one staircase with two apartments was just the right symmetry for two households.
Jiang Xi walked in and noticed that Pei Chongyuan had only turned on the light in the entrance. Had this person been sitting in the dark living room for so long? What was he doing? What was he thinking?
Pei Chongyuan seemed to have seen through his confusion and went over to turn on the living room light. He said, ‘I fell asleep just now.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, just stood there.
‘Why don’t you watch some TV?’ Pei Chongyuan walked over, turned on the TV and put the remote control on the coffee table. ‘I’ll go cook, I’ll let you know when it’s ready.’
Pei Chongyuan said as he walked towards the kitchen, ‘You can’t just eat whatever you want, you still have to watch what you eat.’
Jiang Xi slowly sat down on the sofa and turned his head to look in the direction of the kitchen.
The two of them had been together for so many years, they knew each other very well.
They have loved each other, and once embraced each other intimately.
They have been at loggerheads, one chasing the other away, neither willing to stop first.
In theory, they should not feel constrained in the same room.
However, at the moment, Jiang Xi, sitting in Pei Chongyuan’s living room, looked like a social phobic visiting a new friend.
He heard the refrigerator open and saw Pei Chongyuan standing there staring into it for a long time, before taking out the ingredients and starting to prepare the meal.
Jiang Xi himself would not have been so careful. He might have just grabbed something to eat when he was hungry, and would not have followed the doctor’s advice at all. He was indeed not as caring as Pei Chongyuan, and would not have been able to take care of himself.
While Pei Chongyuan was cooking, Jiang Xi sat on the sofa and looked around the house.
It was all so unfamiliar.
In the past, when he was still with Pei Chongyuan, he had spent almost every weekend at the other person’s home. At that time, he was extremely familiar with everything in Pei Chongyuan’s home, even which shirts were hung in which closet and which plates were placed in which cupboard.
At that time, he tacitly agreed in his heart that it was also his home, because it was his home because of Pei Chongyuan.
This place is smaller than the house Pei Chongyuan used to live in, and the decoration is also simpler. But it is rented after all, and the landlord probably didn’t spend much effort on buying and decorating it.
Jiang Xi noticed that there were very few personal items in this house. At first glance, it looks clean, but in fact it is empty.
There is almost nothing on the furniture, at most a watch or a tie that has been confiscated and put there casually.
It’s pretty desolate.
He imagined Pei Chongyuan getting up and going to bed here every day, and also thought about the scene where he and Taili were facing each other speechlessly across the wall.
In fact, neither of them said anything to the other, and no one was having a happy and lively life.
Jiang Xi saw the half-opened condom wrapper and KY still in its plastic wrapper on the coffee table. It was obvious that Pei Chongyuan had just thrown it here after bringing it back.
He stared at the object, and as he watched, he laughed.
Jiang Xi picked up the box of condoms and examined it carefully.
The brand was the same as the one they used to buy a lot, and the style was the same too. Back then, Jiang Xi was obsessed with that kind of thing, and they used to consume this stuff really quickly. One time, when the two of them were about to do it, they realised they didn’t have any at home. It was one of those rare occasions when they didn’t wear any and did it without them. Later, Jiang Xi bought a big box back, with ten in each box. There were more than twenty boxes in the box. Back then, he said, ‘This should be enough for us to use for a year.’ But before they finished using those condoms, they broke up.
It’s a bit ironic.
In fact, Jiang Xi always felt that it didn’t really matter if they didn’t wear them, and he never suspected that there would be any danger between them. For so long, Jiang Xi had always accepted Pei Chongyuan unconditionally.
But Pei Chongyuan was very insistent. The reason he insisted was that he was afraid Jiang Xi wouldn’t be comfortable after it ended.
Now that I think about it, Pei Chongyuan was actually very considerate.
He lay on the sofa and removed the plastic wrap from the box, which had been torn halfway through.
He removed the box and then tore open the packaging inside.
Jiang Xi inserted his middle finger into the slick, rubber casing and raised his hand to admire his own finger.
Since splitting up with Pei Chongyuan, he had led a life of abstinence, not by choice but because he had no choice.
For a long time, he had resisted doing that kind of thing with other people, and not just that kind of thing, he had resisted all people who showed him kindness.
Before, Qin Song had said that he hoped to have someone to keep him company, but Jiang Xi didn’t feel the same way. After that incident, he really couldn’t imagine accepting or tolerating anyone else.
He hooked his index finger around his middle finger, as if the two were entwined. His thoughts drifted aimlessly, drifting to places they shouldn’t go.
His index finger lightly grazed his middle finger, slippery as if two people were entangled together. His thoughts drifted aimlessly, drifting to places where they shouldn’t go.
The index finger gently grazed, slippery, like a careless person walking on ice, one careless move and they’ll lose their footing and their soul, letting their inner desires drift in the direction they shouldn’t think about.
This feeling has been lost for several years.
Lying on the sofa, Jiang Xi folded his two long legs together, took a deep breath, and turned his head to look in the direction of the kitchen.
He now had two options: one was to leave immediately, and the other was to go find Pei Chongyuan.
The feeling from many years ago was like a tsunami. Jiang Xi sat up from the sofa and ripped off the thing on his finger.
He still couldn’t do that kind of thing. It was too embarrassing to admit defeat and ask Pei Chongyuan to do that kind of thing with him.
Jiang Xi casually threw the thing in his hand on the table and got up to leave.
However, at this moment, Pei Chongyuan came out of the kitchen.
‘Come and eat,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, and then noticed the difference in Jiang Xi.
They were both men, and they knew each other too well.
Jiang Xi’s soft, loose pajama pants couldn’t hide the truth of what was happening at the moment. Anyone could see what it was and what had happened.
Pei Chongyuan was first taken aback, then he laughed.
’What’s wrong?’ he said, walking over to Jiang Xi and looking at him. ’What’s on TV that’s made you look like this?’
The TV was showing an advertisement, followed by a TV drama trailer full of plot points.
Jiang Xi said, ‘I’m not eating, I’ve lost my appetite.’
He said this, but didn’t walk any further.
The two of them looked at each other, and after three seconds Pei Chongyuan came over and looked at Jiang Xi’s crotch and said, ‘How long has it been since you last had sex?’
‘None of your business.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Okay, then let me ask you a different question.’
He said, ‘Do you want me to help you?’
Jiang Xi looked at him, and then saw Pei Chongyuan slowly lean over.
The man smiled, knelt down on one knee in front of him, and looked at him with unbridled devotion. That gaze went straight to the deepest part of his soul, just like they had years ago, but back then, their roles had been reversed.
Jiang Xi wanted to refuse, but after raising his hand, when it fell, instead of pushing, it stroked Pei Chongyuan’s hair.
In the end, there was no escape, was there?
Jiang Xi closed his eyes, leaned against the armrest of the sofa behind him, and held the hand there, with his fingernails almost embedded in the fabric of the sofa.
There was no escape.
Accept your fate.
When Jiang Xi sat down at the dining table, he felt uncomfortable everywhere. He held the spoon and drank the soup in a daze, while Pei Chongyuan, who was sitting opposite him, kept looking at him and smiling.
It had been a few years since he had had sex, and it turned out that it was still with his old lover.
Jiang Xi felt extremely embarrassed.
After being treated like that by Pei Chongyuan, he had no desire or appetite to eat, but the other party insisted that he stay, as if he would be embarrassed if he didn’t stay for dinner and took the matter seriously.
In order to prove that he didn’t take this lightly, Jiang Xi grabbed the wet wipes from Pei Chongyuan and wiped himself clean, before heading straight to the table.
The result of being stubborn was that he was now sitting on pins and needles.
‘Tomorrow is Saturday,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “I’ll be home all day, I’ll call you to eat together.”
’No need,‘ Jiang Xi didn’t even look up at him, “I’ll go to the store, Xiaowen will cook.”
’I have to go on a business trip the day after tomorrow,’ Pei Chongyuan continued talking as if he hadn’t heard Jiang Xi’s rejection, ’I have to leave early in the morning, I guess you won’t be up when I leave, I’ll put the soup I made by your door, you can drink it when you get up.’
‘I said no,‘ Jiang Xi looked up at him with a frown, “did you even listen to me?”
’I did, but I filtered it out,’ Pei Chongyuan also picked up a spoon and started eating the soup. “Now I’ve learned a skill, which is to automatically filter out what you say.”
Jiang Xi looked at him unhappily.
‘There’s no way around it. If I don’t practice this skill, you might one day make me have a heart attack.’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, “I’m serious. When you’re not busy, think back on all the things you’ve said to me. Quite a lot of them are hard to digest.”
Jiang Xi of course knew that because he had done it on purpose.
He made an expression of impatience and said, ’If you don’t want to listen to me, don’t provoke me. And when you provoke me, you pick on me.’
‘I’m not picking on you, I’m just trying to find the right way to survive,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “You really are quite ruthless with me, and I admire you for that.”
Pei Chongyuan was saying things between the lines. He had long since said that Jiang Xi was torturing him while torturing himself at the same time.
If you are so ruthless with yourself, you can’t help but obey.
Pei Chongyuan continued with his own business: ’You’re leaving on Sunday and won’t be back until next Saturday, a whole week. Take care of yourself.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, kept his head down and his brow knitted.
‘I really don’t want to go,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘It’s not easy for the two of us to make some progress, and if I leave now, I might not be able to get back to it when I come back.’
‘That was just an accident,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘I have a regular Pao friend.’
Pei Chongyuan looked up at him and laughed. ‘A regular Pao friend? That doesn’t seem right, you were pretty intense just now.’
‘Because I’ve been in the hospital for a while.’ Jiang Xi was a little embarrassed by what he said, and glared at him, saying in a bad mood, “If you don’t believe it, just forget it.”
He said that Pei Chongyuan didn’t believe it at all. Jiang Xi knew him too well. Even though so many years had passed and his idealism was full of cracks, Pei Chongyuan still had a general idea in his mind of what Jiang Xi would and wouldn’t do.
‘Okay, I believe you,‘ Pei Chongyuan said deliberately, “Who is it? Do I know him?”
Jiang Xi whispered as he drank his soup, “None of your business.”
’Well, yes, it is none of my business, so let me guess…’ He pretended to look thoughtful, “Tong Ye can’t be it, he is quite stable with his boyfriend, it’s not possible. And you have such a small social circle… Could it be that little bartender?”
Jiang Xi really wanted to roll his eyes, but he resisted.
‘What’s his name, Qin?‘ Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile. “He’s not very old, is he? I remember you saying before that you only liked older men.”
’I’m not fucking him,’ Jiang Xi was forced to do something, so he made up a random lie, “Who told you that I still need to be fucked?”
Pei Chongyuan suppressed his laughter and looked at Jiang Xi’s red ears and said, ’Very good, our Xi has really grown up.’

Chapter 60: Tipsy
Jiang Xi actually understood that Pei Chongyuan would never believe what he had said, but he suddenly acted like a child who was arguing with his parents.
He always wanted to prove something to Pei Chongyuan, and this had not changed over the years.
In the past, he wanted to prove that he really loved Pei Chongyuan, and Pei Chongyuan really loved him too.
Now he wants to prove to Pei Chongyuan that he actually doesn’t love him at all, and that there are others who love him besides him.
He is angry.
He wants to prove himself.
But Pei Chongyuan obviously sees through his lies at a glance.
Jiang Xi stops talking, as saying more makes him seem false.
But Pei Chongyuan is still not giving up: ‘I told you, every time I ask him about you, he doesn’t tell me. In the end, he’s the love rival.’
Jiang Xi looked up at him and said, ‘No.’
After a moment of hesitation, he added, ‘We’re just friends.’
Pei Chongyuan was dying of laughter, but dared not laugh openly for fear of really angering the person.
‘That’s good, then I’m not a third party.’
Jiang Xi looked impatient and didn’t want to discuss this with him anymore.
“How does the soup taste?’ Pei Chongyuan could see what was going on in his mind and stopped teasing him, ‘I learned it especially for you.’
‘So-so,’ Jiang Xi deliberately criticized, ‘it’s too bland.’
‘You should eat bland food right now. Don’t take your health lightly just after leaving the hospital,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘you also have to pay attention to your diet during the week I’m not here.’
Jiang Xi sipped the bland soup in his mouth and secretly pondered Pei Chongyuan’s words.
This person is so different from before.
In the past, Pei Chongyuan was also considerate and liked to take care of him, but it wasn’t the same as now.
Back then, Pei Chongyuan probably had a very privileged life, and his consideration for Jiang Xi always seemed to be floating in the air in comparison to the present, so it wasn’t down-to-earth. Their relationship also seemed a bit superficial. It wasn’t until now that these two people really had a sense of living a down-to-earth life, with a bit of the real smell of the human world.
Living life?
Jiang Xi let out a small, inaudible sigh.
After that, the two of them didn’t argue anymore, and they finished the meal quietly and somewhat unusually warmly.
After they had eaten and drunk their fill, and Jiang Xi had put down his soup bowl, he lifted his feet and was about to leave.
Pei Chongyuan actually really wanted him to stay, even if he didn’t do anything, just stay a little longer and keep him company.
But he didn’t say anything to stop him, because he knew it wasn’t the right time yet.
Jiang Xi went back to his own home, where his tail was lying there, bored, picking at his little toy.
He walked over, sat on the carpet with his tail in his arms, and looked out the window. He noticed that it was snowing.
He asked his tail, ‘When do you think winter will be over?’
However, it was only December, and spring was still far away.
During the week that Pei Chongyuan was away, Jiang Xi returned to his previous state of life.
He got up early to walk the dog, and spent some time at the bar in the evenings.
He had originally been indifferent about having his appendix removed, but when he went out to dinner with Qin Song and Xiaowen, Xiaowen still carefully prepared dinner according to his condition.
Each meal was very light, and Qin Song grumbled that he missed the spicy hotpot.
Jiang Xi felt bad about always making them follow his own tastes, so starting on the third day, he stopped going out to dinner and made soup at home according to the recipe.
He got the recipe from Pei Chongyuan, using the exact same ingredients, but the result was completely different.
Since Pei Chongyuan left on Sunday, Jiang Xi thought he would be able to relax for a few days, but in fact, he became unaccustomed to it. Fortunately, the two of them did not completely lose contact.
Pei Chongyuan would send Jiang Xi a message almost every day after work, not many, just one.
If it had been Jiang Xi a while ago, he would have felt that even one message was superfluous. But since that day, I don’t know if it was because the knot about Xiang Ran had been untied, or because Pei Chongyuan once again triggered the indescribable thoughts that Jiang Xi had extinguished a long time ago, in short, he began to feel uncomfortable when that person did not appear for a long time.
Every day, when he went out and came in, he subconsciously glanced at the door next door. The door was locked, and the room was quiet, which made Jiang Xi feel as if a piece of his heart was missing.
He had long since realised that he had not let go of Pei Chongyuan, but he had never expected that he would be back at the edge of the cliff.
He should have stopped at the cliff, but he could not bring himself to tighten the rope.
Jiang Xi despised such a hopeless self, but in life, things are never really in your hands.
In the next few days, Jiang Xi made soup every day, the same one every day.
The taste gradually became closer to the one that Pei Chongyuan had made, but there was always something missing.
‘He still poisoned it,’ Jiang Xi muttered, hugging Tail. “Why is this person’s heart so evil?”
It was already past 11 pm, and Tail was sleepy. With its ears drooping, it didn’t even listen to Jiang Xi’s rambling, and fell asleep on its own.
Jiang Xi was helpless. He tapped his finger on Tail’s nose: “You’re not even standing with me anymore?”
Forget it, let the person sleep.
Jiang Xi gently put Tail down and got up to take a shower.
It was almost midnight when he finished packing and returned to bed. He habitually reached for his phone and noticed that Pei Chongyuan had not sent him a text message that day.
For so long, Pei Chongyuan had refused to approve his WeChat friend request every time he sent it, saying that he would continue to hold on to it no matter what.
So his phone was full of text messages from Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan had been gone for five days, and almost every night, around 11 pm, he would send a message, reporting on his day as if he were at work, and then not expecting a reply from Jiang Xi. At the end of each message, he would write, ‘Good night, sweet dreams.’
But today, there was no message.
Not receiving any messages from Pei Chongyuan, Jiang Xi couldn’t fall asleep at all. He turned off the light and lay on the bed, tossing and turning, unable to stop feeling anxious.
I’m so annoyed.
In the past few days, Jiang Xi has started to dislike himself again.
It’s past midnight, but he’s still wide awake in the dark.
Finally, in a fit of pique, he turns on the bedside lamp and leans back on the bed to play with his phone.
There’s nothing to play with on his phone: no Weibo, no games, no interest in the news, and the various videos don’t arouse his interest either. In the end, he can’t help but open the text messages and scroll forward from the one Pei Chongyuan sent him yesterday.
Pei Chongyuan is quite persistent. Jiang Xi rarely replies, but he almost never stops.
Jiang Xi believes that no matter who he is dealing with, he himself would never be able to do this.
He hadn’t noticed before, but now that he was reading back through the messages one by one, it was unrealistic to say that he wasn’t moved.
He hadn’t let it go, and now this happened again. What kind of person could bear it?
Jiang Xi frowned, feeling that he was about to collapse.
As he watched the hands of the clock approach the one o’clock mark, Jiang Xi’s phone suddenly rang. His palm was numb from the vibration, and when he looked at the caller ID, his heart followed suit.
It was so late, and Pei Chongyuan had called.
According to Jiang Xi’s usual style, he would never have answered, but the vibration of the phone in the middle of the night was like a spell on him, and he clicked on the green icon between ‘reject’ and ‘answer’.
He put the phone to his ear, didn’t say anything, and took a deep breath.
A few seconds later, he heard Pei Chongyuan’s drunken voice saying, ‘Xiaoxi, I miss you.’
Time seemed to have gone back a few years to New Year’s Eve. At that time, Jiang Xi was hiding in the toilet cubicle of the school dormitory, with the sound of the booming fireworks outside and the heavy breathing of Pei Chongyuan drunk in her ears.
That night, Pei Chongyuan asked Jiang Xi for help over the phone. He listened to Jiang Xi’s voice and used his own way to relieve the rising thoughts and yearnings for the distant Jiang Xi.
That night, there were no fireworks, no deafening sounds. The night was so quiet that it felt as if the whole world had fallen asleep, and the snow was silently covering them up.
Jiang Xi asked softly, ‘Have you been drinking?’
‘Well, I had to. I had to entertain some people.’ Pei Chongyuan was still quite conscious, but he just felt tired. ‘I got my first order.’
After saying that, he let out a long sigh and smiled.
That sigh reached Jiang Xi’s heart, and it was very sour.
He knew that ever since Pei Chongyuan had returned, he had been desperately trying to repair his life.
But how could such repairs be so easy?
It had been a few months, and Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I got my first order.’
Perhaps it was easier to empathise at night, and Jiang Xi could see two worlds in Pei Chongyuan.
In one world, Pei Chongyuan smiles lightly, making him soup and chatting with him, as if everything is in the person’s control and progressing methodically, just waiting for him to return and make up with him.
However, in the other world, Pei Chongyuan is busy and tired, having to start from the same starting point as those young people just starting out to build a new life and new work system, and having to smile at the table to get a project signed.
Jiang Xi felt a pang of pain.
‘Congratulations,’ Jiang Xi suddenly found himself a little choked up. He quickly held the phone away from him and took a deep breath to adjust his emotions.
He heard Pei Chongyuan laugh on the other end of the line. The laugh was very light, but heavier than a sigh.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’ll be able to go back early tomorrow.’
Jiang Xi pursed his lips and turned his head to look at the snow outside the window.
‘It was supposed to be two days, but the list was signed early, so I can go back early.‘ Pei Chongyuan asked, “Are you happy?”
What should I say in reply?
Jiang Xi hesitated.
’It’s raining heavily here,‘ Pei Chongyuan said, “and it’s especially cold.”
’It’s snowing at home,’ Jiang Xi said softly, looking at the snowflakes falling on the windowsill outside, ’but the house is very warm.’
Pei Chongyuan was still laughing, and his laughter, which also carried the smell of alcohol, made Jiang Xi drunk across thousands of miles via the phone.
‘The flight is tomorrow at noon,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘arriving at 1:30.’
He asked, ‘Will you come pick me up?’
Jiang Xi opened the window, and a cold wind blew in, directly piercing his thin pajamas.
His mind, which had not been clear, immediately became clear, and the snowflakes falling in his eyes were ice-cold.
‘It’s okay if you don’t come. There’s a direct bus from the airport to our place.‘
’I’ll send your flight details later,’ Jiang Xi said. “It’s snowing. I’ll pick you up.”
After saying this, Jiang Xi hung up the phone. He clutched the phone tightly and swallowed.
When Pei Chongyuan’s flight information came through, Jiang Xi was sitting by the window, secretly doing something he had always longed for but was afraid to let Pei Chongyuan know. He bit his lips, kept his eyes closed, and the cold wind mercilessly attacked his body.
While feeling the cold wind, his mind was chaotic as he thought about many things at the same time. From seven years ago to the present, countless images swept through his head like a tornado. The tornado was a whirlwind of fire and snow, making him restless and cold.
Finally, as if at the moment of an eruption, his eyes were already wet, and he couldn’t help but say, ‘Brother Pei…’
This cry of ‘Brother Pei’ was like an unheard lament in the night, lamenting his unavoidable abandonment.
Abandon the competition and go pick him up.

Chapter 61: Picking up at the airport
Jiang Xi began to feel anxious as he drove into the airport parking lot.
He suddenly realised that he should have gone to bed at night, because the night always gave rise to strange emotions, and people really could easily make decisions at this time that they would regret.
Last night, he had answered Pei Chongyuan’s phone call on a whim, and then on another whim, he had agreed to pick him up.
As a result, since morning, he has been sighing non-stop, going round and round the house, feeling like an idiot.
But words cannot be taken back, and there is no point in regretting it.
He got out of the car, so depressed that he wanted to smoke.
Jiang Xi glanced at the time, guessing that Pei Chongyuan would land in ten minutes.
He looked up at the blue sky, which was empty, not even a cloud in sight.
It had snowed heavily yesterday, and the weather was nice today, just a little colder than usual. He walked from the parking lot to the exit for domestic arrivals, raising his hand to adjust the collar of his overcoat.
He thought again about Pei Chongyuan’s scarf, which was still hanging in the closet at the store.
There were many people picking up people at the airport, and some were even holding flowers.
A large bouquet of bright red roses was held in front of Jiang Xi, carefully cradled by its owner, who was afraid that the crowd might damage the carefully selected flowers.
He looked down, counting the petals of the rose one by one, bored.
One, two, three…
Before long, Pei Chongyuan’s phone rang.
‘What? Is something wrong?’ Jiang Xi pretended to be shocked, as if he had forgotten about the whole thing.
The plane had just landed, and the cabin door hadn’t even opened yet, but Pei Chongyuan couldn’t wait and immediately called Jiang Xi on his phone.
‘Are you playing games with me?‘ Pei Chongyuan laughed casually, “You’re here, right? I’ll be getting off the plane soon.”
’…I forgot.’ Jiang Xi knew that his acting skills were full of holes with Pei Chongyuan, but he still didn’t give up and tried to scare him, “I’m walking the dog.”
Pei Chongyuan had nothing to say. Now, he really wasn’t sure which of Jiang Xi’s words were true and which were false.
Jiang Xi tentatively asked, ‘How about I go over there now? It should take me about 50 minutes.’
Pei Chongyuan had been looking forward to today’s meeting since last night, because it really meant a lot to him.
Jiang Xi had picked him up before, but that was in the past, and the situation was different now.
Pei Chongyuan never expected Jiang Xi to agree to pick him up last night. When he made the request, he was prepared to be rejected, but surprisingly, Jiang Xi agreed.
Pei Chongyuan hardly slept all night.
He couldn’t sleep, his nerves were on edge, and he felt a little guilty. He kept imagining the scene of their meeting.
The feeling that he was finally going to ‘regain’ her made him feel like a silly seventeen or eighteen year old boy. He doubted that he was even dreaming, and that once he fell asleep, he would open his eyes and realise that the dream had ended.
It was stupid, and he would never tell Jiang Xi.
Before boarding, he even sent a message to Jiang Xi, including the flight number again, for fear that the other person had misremembered the time.
But the little brat told him that he had forgotten!
Pei Chongyuan sat there, his anger making him dizzy.
But even so, he couldn’t vent his anger at Jiang Xi, and had to deal with it himself.
‘Forget it, don’t bother,’ Pei Chongyuan sighed, saying helplessly, ‘I’ll take a taxi home myself.’
Jiang Xi could hear the disappointment in his tone, and he was pleased with himself for pulling off the prank.
He laughed silently, then said, ‘Okay, then take care on the way home. Goodbye.’
He hung up the phone, then moved from the front row to the middle of the pick-up line, trying to hide himself in the crowd as much as possible.
His prank was not over yet.
Jiang Xi didn’t know what was wrong, but suddenly he found himself restless. He wanted to see Pei Chongyuan’s lost and flustered expression, and he wanted to tease him as much as possible.
This feeling was different from the resentment he had felt before. There was a kind of small thrill that made people feel relaxed and happy.
He was tall, and he was still quite conspicuous in the crowd, so he simply squeezed to the side and hid himself behind a billboard.
Jiang Xi put his hands in the pockets of his overcoat and ran his fingers over his mobile phone.
He was a little anxious and wanted to see Pei Chongyuan’s surprised expression as soon as possible.
Pei Chongyuan had a worried expression the whole way from the airport to baggage claim. He felt that Jiang Xi was deliberately teasing him. It was impossible that he had forgotten anything, he was just not yet satisfied.
Pei Chongyuan could do nothing about him and resigned himself to fate.
After collecting his luggage and walking out, he was met by a crowd of people, three layers thick. He looked out at them with some expectation, hoping that Jiang Xi was just teasing him on purpose and was actually waiting in the crowd.
However, the truth was that after searching for a long time, he didn’t see Jiang Xi at all.
Pei Chongyuan smiled bitterly, feeling that he really was quite self-absorbed.
He dragged his suitcase out of the airport, feeling empty inside. The feeling of being full of joy but getting nothing in return was really not a good taste.
The dispirited man, who had no one to greet him, sighed and wondered if he should call an online car service. He took out his phone, bent his head and opened the app, but before he could go far, someone blocked his way.
He smiled even before he looked up, angry and happy, but mostly helpless.
Pei Chongyuan put his phone back in his pocket and looked up, then said to the person in front of him, ‘Are you deliberately teasing me?’
‘Yes,’ Jiang Xi said with a frankness that was hard to ignore, ‘I just wanted to see you look disappointed.’
‘Now you’ve seen it?‘
’Yes.‘
’Are you happy?‘
’Yes.‘
The two of them looked at each other. Pei Chongyuan was sighing, but there was still a smile in his eyes.
Jiang Xi asked him, “Don’t you want to be angry?”
’Yes,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ’I want to call you a little brat.’
Jiang Xi couldn’t hold back and burst out laughing: ‘Take a taxi home yourself.’
He turned around and walked out, while Pei Chongyuan shook his head with a smile and followed.
Although winter had not yet passed, it seemed that the ice and snow had already begun to melt. Pei Chongyuan felt like he could even hear the sound of water dripping from the roof as the snow melted, nourishing the land that had been frozen and dry for a long time.
Pei Chongyuan walked behind Jiang Xi, both of them walking at a leisurely pace. They really were different from before. In the past, Jiang Xi would be the first to call out to him when picking him up from the airport and then hug him uncontrollably. Now, however, Jiang Xi would deliberately tease him, watching his lost and embarrassed expression with a smirk of delight.
The story was being rewritten, and everything was beginning to develop in the right direction.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘What do you want to eat when we get back? I’ll cook it for you.’
Jiang Xi fastened his seat belt, glanced at him, and then hesitated before speaking: ‘Just, that soup.’
‘Which soup?’ Pei Chongyuan laughed, pretending not to understand.
Jiang Xi glanced at him and didn’t say anything.
It was the soup that no matter what he did, he could never make it taste like Pei Chongyuan’s.
After Pei Chongyuan returned from his business trip, although his relationship with Jiang Xi began to ease, it didn’t take off like a rocket as they had imagined.
He was in no hurry, and Jiang Xi was in no hurry either. If they didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes, they needed time to slowly work things out.
Fortunately, Jiang Xi stopped digging up the past, and Pei Chongyuan stopped bringing up the past. It was as if they were really covering up the past with a new life.
Jiang Xi felt that the process was like cremation. He watched as the two of them started from scratch and burned every page they had written together.
In the past, he would have felt regretful. Although he didn’t want to admit it, he was indeed happy and carefree in those days.
How could it be said that fools are the happiest?
Jiang Xi regretted that he could not be a happy fool for the rest of his life.
Those were rare and precious moments in his life over the past 25 years, which only accounted for less than 8% of his life.
He didn’t want to let them go just like that.
But now, he suddenly felt that there was a way forward, not just for him and Pei Chongyuan, but also for his set-up regarding life and relationships, which was being rebuilt.
He began to get used to getting up in the morning and opening the door as soon as possible to take in the thermos that Pei Chongyuan had left at his doorstep before going to work, and to clean it and put it back outside Pei Chongyuan’s door before going to the bar in the afternoon.
Pei Chongyuan also made progress at work and got his first proper order, so he started to get busy.
Occasionally, when he didn’t work late, he would go straight to the bar, not to drink, but to see Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi no longer charged him a thousand yuan for a glass of wine, but she used Pei Chongyuan to practice her newly acquired skills, mixing new drinks for him and forcing him to taste them.
No matter if the drinks were good or not, Pei Chongyuan had to finish them.
Sometimes Pei Chongyuan would pretend to be drunk and say things he normally couldn’t say.
Jiang Xi knew that he was pretending with her there, but she ignored him and let him be. Although she let him be, he still remembered every word that Pei Chongyuan said.
On the nights that Pei Chongyuan went to the bar, he would hitch a ride home with Jiang Xi’s car, even though Jiang Xi asked him for the fare every time, double the normal price.
Life just flowed on like this, and the two of them just walked forward in an ambiguous way.
Christmas 2008, with Qin Song’s help, they organised a Christmas special. He vowed that this special would make back all the money they didn’t make last year.
Jiang Xi didn’t care so much, as long as they didn’t lose money, it didn’t matter. He could do whatever he wanted.
So, Christmas Day became Qin Song’s main event. The store was decorated in a very Christmas-like atmosphere. Xiaowen even wore an elk suit and stood at the bar as a mascot, blushing shyly and being incredibly cute.
The atmosphere in the whole store was very good, and the music playing was a Christmas song recorded by Tong Ye.
However, Jiang Xi forgot one very important thing—he only told Rong Xiasheng that Pei Chongyuan had come back to find him, but he had not told Tong Ye for a long time.
When he and Pei Chongyuan fell out, Tong Ye was even angrier than he was, and even got into a fight with Pei Chongyuan.
Jiang Xi is afraid to let Tong Ye know now, partly because he is worried that the other person will think he is hopeless.
It is indeed quite hopeless. Jiang Xi thinks about the matter of eating回头草and feels ashamed.
But he really has no choice. He tried to walk away, but in the end, he was still trapped by Pei Chongyuan.
This might just be fate. He didn’t believe in fate, but after meeting Pei Chongyuan, he started to believe.
So when Pei Chongyuan walked in with a big bunch of roses and handed them to him in front of everyone, Tong Ye, who was sitting opposite Jiang Xi, let out a ‘crap’ sound.
Rong Xiasheng squeezed Tong Ye’s hand: ‘Don’t swear.’
Tong Ye felt like he might be drunk, otherwise why would he be hallucinating?
“Who is this person?’
At the moment, Jiang Xi was sitting with Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng on the second floor by the window, drinking and chatting. Tong Ye was wearing a Santa Claus hat on his head, which was cute and funny.
But his expression was anything but humorous.
He said in surprise, ‘I’m afraid I’m having a hallucination. Xiasheng, if you don’t kiss me, I won’t wake up.’
Rong Xiasheng looked at him helplessly and laughed, patting him on the shoulder and saying, ‘Stop it.’
Then Tong Ye stood up, raised his chin, frowned, and said to Pei Chongyuan with a disgusted look on his face, ‘What are you doing here? Looking for a beating?’
Jiang Xi rubbed his eyebrows with a worried expression, then whispered guiltily, ‘Tong Ye, he… I asked him here.’

Chapter 62: Tipsy
Tong Ye was a little suspicious of life.
Pei Chongyuan had originally thought that Jiang Xi would be embarrassed to admit it for fear of losing face, but he had not expected such a quick confession.
This was a great affirmation for Pei Chongyuan, and he was so pleased that his tail was wagging.
Pei Chongyuan handed the flowers to Jiang Xi, who gave a ‘tsk’ and told him to give them to Qin Song, and told Qin Song to find a vase to put them in.
Pei Chongyuan did not argue or say anything more, obediently carrying the large bouquet of flowers downstairs to find Qin Song.
As soon as he had gone, Tong Ye slapped the table and asked Jiang Xi, ‘What’s going on? What’s going on?’
Jiang Xi and Rong Xiansheng exchanged glances, then poured Tong Ye a drink: ‘Sit down and talk properly, or people will think there’s going to be a fight.’
‘I’m not the one who wants to fight,‘ Tong Ye sat down, leaning against Rong Xiasheng, his tone a little aggrieved, “I feel like I’ve been cheated of my feelings.”
Rong Xiasheng laughed at him, “Don’t talk nonsense.”
’Really,’ Tong Ye complained to Rong Xiasheng, ’I’m still holding a grudge against that dog person here, but it turns out that he’s reconciled, don’t you think he’s too rebellious? My brother broke my heart!’
‘Listen to Jiang Xi tell you himself, don’t jump to conclusions.‘ Rong Xiansheng squeezed Tong Ye’s hand and turned to look at Jiang Xi.
Jiang Xi took a sip of wine and said as he set the glass down, “I guess we’re friends now.”
’Friends? You’ve got nothing better to do than be friends with him?‘ Tong Ye rolled his eyes, “Don’t tell me you’re so naive that you don’t know he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
’Of course not,’ Jiang Xi said, ’I don’t lack friends.’
Tong Ye rested his elbows on the table and propped his chin in his hands, looking at him inquisitively.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Don’t look at me like that, he and I will not get back together.’
‘That’s good,’ Tong Ye let out a sigh of relief, ‘I’m telling you, that dog person is not worth it.’
Rong Xiasheng secretly pinched Tong Ye’s waist.
Jiang Xi smiled and said, ‘Let’s just get to know each other again, he’s quite different from before.’
Upon hearing this, Tong Ye felt that something was not right.
‘What do you mean?’
‘A broken mirror cannot be glued back together, especially in our case.’ Jiang Xi took a small sip of wine and smiled calmly at Tong Ye, ‘But he has indeed changed a lot over the past few years, so perhaps we can start from scratch and get to know each other.’
Tong Ye turned to Rong Xiasheng and said, ‘Younger uncle, I can’t breathe well.’
‘Although I don’t know if your decision is correct, you yourself know.‘ Rong Xiansheng ignored Tong Ye, who was leaning on him and acting spoiled, and said softly to Jiang Xi, “As friends, we can’t make any decisions for you, and you’re not a child, so we don’t need to worry about these things.”
’Why shouldn’t we worry?’ Tong Ye muttered, ’Do you think that Pei Chongyuan is like you, an innocent and adorable person?’
He rested his chin on Rong Xiasheng’s shoulder and said, ‘That’s a wolf that eats people and spits out their bones.’
‘I’m not a rabbit either,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘He’s a wolf, and so am I. We’re evenly matched, and neither of us has an advantage.’
At this point, Pei Chongyuan returned and naturally sat in the seat next to Jiang Xi.
Tong Ye frowned and drank his wine, feeling that the combination of the four of them was a bit strange.
Who would have thought that one day Jiang Xi would be sitting across from Pei Chongyuan, drinking harmoniously with him?
Tong Ye drank the wine in his glass in one go, and with a scolding tone, he pointed at Jiang Xi and said, ‘You just wait, I need to talk to you in a few days.’
That tone was exactly the same as the homeroom teachers at their school.
Jiang Xi just laughed and didn’t respond.
Tong Ye felt awkward because Pei Chongyuan had arrived, so after not sitting for long, he took Rong Xiasheng’s hand and went back to their own world.
Before leaving, Tong Ye said, ‘We need to have a heart-to-heart chat some time. I’ve noticed that we’re drifting apart.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘Sure, give me a call when you’re free.’
Tong Ye glanced at Pei Chongyuan, who was behind Jiang Xi, rolled his eyes in disbelief, took Rong Xiasheng’s hand and left.
Not two minutes after they left, Jiang Xi received a message from Rong Xiasheng: ‘Xiao Ye is just being difficult, mainly because he’s worried about you.’
Jiang Xi smiled and replied: ‘I know, it’s fine.’
Of course he knew, they had been friends for so many years, and he knew Tong Ye’s personality all too well.
Because they are best friends, Tong Ye behaved in this way, and Jiang Xi felt quite warm inside.
‘What are you doing?’ Pei Chongyuan brought some wine from downstairs and said, ‘What are you smiling so happily at?’
He opened the wine, put it in front of Jiang Xi, and then sat across from him.
‘I’m jealous.’
Jiang Xi sneered, ‘Who cares if you like it or not.’
He put away his phone and turned his head to look outside.
It was Christmas Eve and it was snowing outside.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘It’s been snowing a lot this year.’
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, just drank his wine, listened to the music, and looked out the window at the snow falling.
Sometimes it was really hard not to feel sentimental. Whenever it started snowing, he couldn’t help but think of the day he and Pei Chongyuan first met.
The heavy snow blinded him, and he opened the car door and got into the passenger seat.
Perhaps the main plot of the story had already been written long ago, and they were the main characters who could not change the plot, even if there were twists and turns along the way, in the end they would reunite.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘In addition to the flowers, I have a gift for you.’
Jiang Xi turned his head to look at him, and saw Pei Chongyuan take out a scarf from his bag.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Merry Christmas.’
Jiang Xi took the scarf and rubbed it between his fingers. The whole person felt like they had fallen into a soft, strange world that was both unfamiliar and familiar to him.
After a while, Jiang Xi suddenly asked, ‘Do you want to go to the movies together?’
On Christmas night, it was really a bit difficult to go to the movies, but even a snowstorm could not stop the enthusiasm of these couples.
Fortunately, Jiang Xi wasn’t really interested in those movies online, so after thinking about it, he said, ‘Let’s go to my place.’
This was the first time he had invited Pei Chongyuan into his home, and it was a far cry from the previous time Pei Chongyuan had barged in without permission.
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan had both been drinking, so they simply called for a taxi instead of arranging for a designated driver.
Over the years, Jiang Xi had never sat in the passenger seat of anyone’s car. He habitually pulled open the back door, and as soon as he sat down, he noticed Pei Chongyuan standing there looking at him.
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Don’t look, it’s weirdly cold outside, move over and let me in.’
Jiang Xi was about to say that he should go to the passenger seat, but then he gave up and just let him do whatever he wanted.
He moved over, and then Pei Chongyuan got in.
The two men, both tall and with long legs, found it quite uncomfortable to be sitting in the back.
Their knees inevitably touched, and Jiang Xi felt his entire leg start to burn.
It was snowy and Christmas Eve, so the roads were particularly congested.
The car was full of warm air, and Jiang Xi, who had had a little to drink, began to feel a little drowsy.
Pei Chongyuan turned his head to look at him, smiled, raised his hand to stroke the top of his head, and tried to get him to lean on his shoulder.
But as soon as he made a move, Jiang Xi woke up with a start, sat up straight, and rejected him with practical action.
Although Pei Chongyuan was a little disappointed, he could only accept it.
Recently, there have been signs of a warming of their relationship, but Jiang Xi has not completely let go of him.
They are probably both waiting for a suitable opportunity.
Pei Chongyuan is in no hurry. He is not afraid of Jiang Xi dragging him along, but he is afraid of hitting a snag at the last minute.
It was very late when the two of them arrived home. Jiang Xi had to feed the dog first, so Pei Chongyuan went home and changed his clothes.
When he came back, he was wearing the same pair of pyjamas as Jiang Xi had worn that year, and Jiang Xi noticed at once.
Jiang Xi hadn’t actually thrown away the pair of pyjamas. When they had moved house, they had hesitated for a long time, but in the end they had stuffed them in a suitcase. Now they were clean and neatly folded at the bottom of the wardrobe.
Jiang Xi pretended not to have noticed, let him in, drew the curtains and switched on the projector.
He actually had a secret agenda, because the movie they were going to watch was ‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’.
Many years ago, one afternoon, while he was watching this movie on the sofa, Pei Chongyuan came home early and passionately embraced and kissed him on the sofa, and then they both fell into a world of crimson.
That afternoon the sun was shining brightly.
He still remembers that scene to this day.
He also remembers that at the time, he heard with one ear the man singing at the end of the movie, ‘I seem to have found the happiness I was seeking.’
And with the other ear, Pei Chongyuan softly said, ‘Xiaoxi, you’re amazing.’
The movie was about the conflict between illusion and reality. People always get confused between fiction and reality. At that time, Jiang Xi thought that the movie was fake, but his love was real. Later, he realised that everything was real except his love.
Time has passed, and they have both changed. After all these days of contact, no matter how hard Jiang Xi denies it, he has to admit in his heart that Pei Chongyuan is sincere.
He pretends to be aloof, deliberately competes with him, and uses all kinds of tricks to try to push this person away.
The result was that they got closer and closer.
At the beginning of the movie, Jiang Xi brought two bottles of wine from the wine cabinet.
They were both high in alcohol content, and he was determined to get drunk today.
The two sat on the sofa, tails on one side, watching the movie, neither saying much, but drinking glass after glass of wine.
Jiang Xi had a good drinking capacity, but for some reason today, he soon began to feel slightly tipsy.
Lazily leaning on the corner of the armrest and back of the sofa, his eyelids drooped slightly, his teeth lightly nibbling on the thin walls of the glass.
His gaze slowly shifted from the screen to Pei Chongyuan, who was engrossed in the movie and only gave him a profile.
This man, they had known each other for seven years. In those seven years, both of their worlds had been broken, and now they were being rebuilt little by little.
Jiang Xi was eighteen, and Pei Chongyuan was twenty-eight.
Jiang Xi was 25, Pei Chongyuan was 35.
At different stages of life, this person became an haunting ghost, haunting him, surrounding him, both day and night, never letting him go.
Jiang Xi tilted his head back to drink, his Adam’s apple jiggling as he swallowed.
Pei Chongyuan turned to look at him and gently wiped the wine from the corner of his mouth with his finger.
‘Do it?’ Jiang Xi felt like he might really have had too much to drink, and he wanted to.
Pei Chongyuan was obviously a little surprised. After a moment of shock, he ran his palm over Jiang Xi’s face and asked softly, ‘Drunk?’
Jiang Xi nodded with a smile, ‘Yes, drunk.’
He narrowed his eyes, put down his glass, sat up, leaned closer to Pei Chongyuan, and asked breathlessly, ‘Brother Pei, do you want to do it with me?’

Chapter 63: Ring Finger
That day at Pei Chongyuan’s house, when Jiang Xi had this thought, he was still unwilling to tell Pei Chongyuan the truth because of his invincible pride. But what he didn’t expect was that Pei Chongyuan would kneel down in front of him on one knee to relieve his desire like a pilgrim.
Facing such a Pei Chongyuan, Jiang Xi could not help but be moved.
What’s more, since the two of them had already come this far, he simply took advantage of the wine to tell the truth.
In the past, Jiang Xi always felt that exposing his true feelings to Pei Chongyuan would make him extremely uneasy, so he hid them, afraid that others would find out. However, at this moment, he suddenly realised that it was much easier to tell the truth than to lie.
His hand rested on Pei Chongyuan’s lower arm, and he asked, ‘Do you want to make love with me?’
Pei Chongyuan looked at him, his eyes full of Jiang Xi’s narrowed eyes and the faint smell of alcohol that came over him when he spoke.
But he knew that Jiang Xi was not drunk at all.
He knew exactly how much Jiang Xi could drink, and if the two of them had a drinking competition, he wouldn’t even be able to compete with the other person.
But at the moment, it would be too uninteresting to worry about that.
Pei Chongyuan turned around and looked at those eyes that held a jar of wine, making him feel dizzy as well.
No one yearned for Jiang Xi more than Pei Chongyuan, whether it was a few years ago or now, Jiang Xi was the person who made his heart beat fastest.
Heartbeat.
Even when he saw this person or thought about this person, his pores would open up in excitement, and the thin layer of sweat oozing from his skin was stained with a crimson lust.
Pei Chongyuan could not resist the temptation of Jiang Xi, whether this person did it on purpose or not.
His finger tapped Jiang Xi’s nose, and the other person smiled lazily at him like a cat.
Now Jiang Xi is much more mature than he was back then. He wears armour every day, giving off a signal that he is unapproachable, even when dealing with Pei Chongyuan.
Sometimes Pei Chongyuan feels annoyed and distressed when he looks at him. It is clear that his heart is soft and yearning for love, but he always pushes people away.
But at this moment, when Jiang Xi smiled at him, the fragrance of wine flowed out from the corners of his eyes, and the whole room was filled with a strong smell of wine.
It wasn’t the kind of strong drink that gave you a headache when you smell it, but sweet wine, fresh and delicious.
Pei Chongyuan hadn’t seen Jiang Xi like this in a long time.
‘Do you want it?’ Jiang Xi grabbed his finger that was tapping his nose, ‘You won’t find a better offer again.’
‘In what capacity?’ Pei Chongyuan wanted to nod right away, but he and Jiang Xi definitely could not repeat their mistakes.
It was okay to ask.
But it had to be clear what the status of each other was.
Pei Chongyuan never thought that he would one day ask someone for a status. It was funny and moving.
Jiang Xi looked at him and couldn’t give an answer.
Sometimes it is not easy for people to take that step, especially for Jiang Xi.
There were many roadblocks between them, and even if they had now been removed, the ground still bore the marks of the potholes. It would take a great deal of courage to really risk spraining an ankle from the dedication.
Jiang Xi had always been decisive, but in this matter alone he was indecisive.
“What capacity do you want to be in?’
‘As your boyfriend,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “If you haven’t thought of an answer yet, that’s fine. There’s no rush. Take your time. I’ll wait for you here. Eight or ten years is no problem.”
Pei Chongyuan pulled him over and put his arms around him. At first, Jiang Xi struggled a little, but then he gave up.
The two leaned on each other, one looking at the movie screen, the other staring ahead in a daze.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘We can’t keep having sex without knowing what it means. You know what I mean.’
Jiang Xi knew that he knew exactly what he meant.
One of the reasons for the failure of his past relationship with Pei Chongyuan was that they had focused too much on physical intimacy and neglected communication.
Love is everything in a relationship, not sex.
Jiang Xi had never expected Pei Chongyuan to reject him, but now it seemed that this person was even more serious than he had imagined, which was indeed beyond his expectations.
He nestled in Pei Chongyuan’s arms and smiled contentedly. He simply laid on the other person’s lap, found a comfortable position and continued watching the movie.
All the desires for dry wood and blazing fire had turned into the tenderness of the moment, and it was a peace of mind that Jiang Xi had never had before.
He closed his eyes and listened to the dialogue in the movie. In a trance, he heard the last man sing, ‘I seem to have found the happiness I’ve been seeking.’
It was already the end of the year, and after Christmas, Pei Chongyuan was so busy that he was out of sight.
He stayed at the office all night on the 26th, and finally returned home after 8 pm the next day. He didn’t even change his clothes, and fell asleep on the sofa.
Pei Chongyuan had wanted to cook something when he got home and invite Jiang Xi over for dinner, but he was too tired and just fell asleep.
He had sent Jiang Xi a message yesterday, telling him that he couldn’t cook because he couldn’t come home, and asking him to take care of himself.
Jiang Xi actually understood quite well. Pei Chongyuan had been busy recently, and he insisted on cooking every day and leaving the food at his door, making Jiang Xi feel a little bit ridiculous.
He arrived at the bar in the afternoon, suddenly got hot under the collar, and ran to cook with Xiaowenxue.
Qin Song was smiling and drinking milk tea, saying, ‘Have you fallen for that older guy?’
Everyone was looking at them when Pei Chongyuan came in with a big bouquet of roses on Christmas.
‘No,’ Jiang Xi said, “stop being nosy.”
Qin Song pursed his lips: “It’s not nosy, it’s just that I care about you.”
Jiang Xi ignored him and concentrated on cooking with Xiaowenxue.
Talent is also very important in cooking, and Jiang Xi felt that he really didn’t have it. He tried it at home, but it really wasn’t anything like it.
He was going to give up, but when he got out of the elevator, he noticed that Pei Chongyuan’s door key was still in the door.
His first reaction was that there was a thief, but then he saw that Pei Chongyuan had returned home.
He had returned home, but was so careless that he forgot to take the key out.
Jiang Xi walked over, carefully removed the key, put it in his coat pocket mischievously, and went home.
He went inside to change his shoes and clothes, and while cooking the bones and meat for his tail, he kept thinking about the key.
Pei Chongyuan was definitely not that careless a person, and he must have really been exhausted to have forgotten to pull the key out after unlocking the door.
Jiang Xi thought about it and felt that perhaps he should do something.
It was almost ten o’clock after feeding the cat. Jiang Xi glanced at the wall in his living room, hesitated for a long time, knelt down on the sofa, rested his hands on the back of the sofa, and put his ear against the wall behind the sofa.
There was not the slightest sound from the next room.
He wasn’t sure whether Pei Chongyuan had returned or whether he had locked the door and gone out again.
It wasn’t a good idea to just take someone’s key and go and open the door, so Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment and went to the kitchen.
He made some soup, the only thing he had learned how to make during Pei Chongyuan’s week-long business trip, but it didn’t taste as good as the soup the other person made.
There was still Pei Chongyuan’s insulated lunch box in the house, so after the soup was ready, he poured it in, wrote a note and stuck it on, and then, imitating Pei Chongyuan, he placed the insulated lunch box outside the other person’s house.
The note read: I stole your house key.
After leaving it there, Jiang Xi returned home, but his mind was restless, as if he had long grass growing in it, and he kept listening to the sounds from next door.
When he took his dog for a walk, he usually walked for an hour, but today he hurried his dog back after only ten minutes.
He took out a book and flipped through the pages, but he couldn’t remember a single line.
He looked for a movie to watch, but his mind was in a mess, and after half an hour had passed, he had no idea what had been shown.
He gave up and lay on the sofa, his mind full of Pei Chongyuan.
So, as the saying goes, you can’t change your nature. Jiang Xi saw through himself, and he was bewitched by Pei Chongyuan.
Whether it was seven years ago or now, whether he was 18 or 25, he simply couldn’t escape Pei Chongyuan’s trap of love.
This was too much.
Jiang Xi lay on the sofa for a long time, so long that he was worried that someone would steal the lunchbox.
Just as he was about to get up and take a look, or at least knock on the door next door if that didn’t work, he suddenly heard the sound of someone opening the door outside.
Jiang Xi sat bolt upright on the sofa.
He listened with his ear to the sound, and then he heard Pei Chongyuan knock on his door.
Jiang Xi’s back suddenly broke out in a sweat, and he didn’t know what he was nervous about.
This was probably the first time in a long time that he had shown such a friendly gesture to Pei Chongyuan, not an invitation based on desire, but a sincere and down-to-earth expression of concern.
This kind of friendly gesture carried far more weight than an invitation to go to bed.
When he made this move, Jiang Xi knew exactly what he wanted.
Pei Chongyuan was knocking on the door, waiting for him to open it.
Jiang Xi walked over barefoot, without his slippers, with his tail close behind.
He opened the door and Pei Chongyuan was standing there, smiling, holding two lunch boxes in his hands.
‘Can I kiss you first?’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘I’m a bit excited now, and if I don’t kiss you first, I might not be able to have a good chat with you.’
Jiang Xi laughed too. ‘What are you doing?’
Pei Chongyuan didn’t care, and he went into the room without waiting for an invitation from his host.
He put the two lunch boxes on the small table in the entrance hall, put his arms around Jiang Xi and started kissing him.
Jiang Xi didn’t expect Pei Chongyuan to kiss him, but he didn’t resist either, and let the other person kiss him.
When the kiss was over, Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Tell me, what were you thinking?’
‘What were you thinking?’ Jiang Xi pretended to be dumb, ‘Right, your key.’
He went to the coat rack and took out Pei Chongyuan’s house key from his overcoat pocket.
Before he could turn around, he was embraced from behind.
‘Xiao Xi,‘ Pei Chongyuan kissed the back of his neck lightly, “I’m very moved.”
Jiang Xi looked down at Pei Chongyuan’s hand around his waist, and suddenly realised that at some point, this person had put back on the ring he had given him back then.
It was on his ring finger, and it was glowing in the dim room.
’I don’t need you to be moved.‘
’I know,’ Pei Chongyuan whispered behind his ear, ’you want my love.’
Jiang Xiben wanted to argue back, but in the end, he hesitated and didn’t say anything.
‘Do you want it?’ Pei Chongyuan pursued, ‘Can you feel my heartbeat? It’s beating so fast because of you.’
The two of them were originally about the same height, and when they were folded together like this, their hearts were also closer than ever before.
As the two hearts beat, their rhythms seemed to become in sync.
“I’ve been thinking about something today.’
‘Hm? What?‘ Pei Chongyuan asked.
Jiang Xi let out a small sigh, then turned around with a smile.
He raised his hand in front of Pei Chongyuan’s face and took out the necklace with the ring from the pocket of his pajamas.
’I made a bet with myself that you would definitely lose it,’ Jiang Xi said.
But he didn’t.
Pei Chongyuan took the necklace with the ring in his hand, opened the clasp, and removed the ring.
He took Jiang Xi’s hand and, as the ring was about to be placed on her finger, asked, ‘Is this okay?’
Jiang Xi hesitated for a moment, then she put her finger in the ring herself.
Everything seemed to be back in place.

Chapter 64 The end of the main text
Jiang Xi always felt that rings were different from other jewellery, something very sacred, symbolising an agreement, a promise and a lifetime of love.
The two rings on two hands were a promise to each other and to God that they would be serious, pious and truly in love.
So, when he solemnly presented the pair of rings he had prepared, he bound his life with Pei Chongyuan with the purest of faith.
Later, when the two of them separated, he tried several times to throw away the ring, but in the end he kept it.
He originally just wanted to use it to remind himself of how stupid he had been, but he never expected that one day he would put it back on.
The moment the ring was put on, not only was Jiang Xi moved, but Pei Chongyuan was too.
When Jiang Xi looked up at the other person, he noticed that the man in front of him had red eyes.
He had never seen Pei Chongyuan like this before.
In his impression, Pei Chongyuan would never cry, let alone admit defeat.
This person never fears anything, and also seems never to be moved by anything.
He has seen too many ups and downs in the world, so no matter how moving the waves are, they cannot touch him.
But now, Pei Chongyuan’s eyes are red.
Pei Chongyuan takes a deep breath, raises his hand and pinches his nose, and says awkwardly, ‘My nose is sore.’
‘Why is it sore?‘ Jiang Xi asked.
Pei Chongyuan looked up and met his gaze, his eyes shining with a light Jiang Xi had never seen before, sparkling and radiant. Jiang Xi felt as if he were wading through his eyes and walking forward, until he reached the deepest part.
’What do you think?’ Pei Chongyuan frowned slightly and turned away.
He didn’t want Jiang Xi to see him like this. It’s a bit pretentious.
No matter who it is, he doesn’t want to expose his overly soft side. He can love, he can bend over, he can kneel down in front of Jiang Xi and do anything for him that he’s ashamed to say, but he can’t cry.
Pei Chongyuan always tells himself that no matter what, no matter if it’s bitter or tiring, if he’s loved or hated, he can’t cry.
He has to face the world with ease, and only in this way can he be reliable and make Jiang Xi feel at ease.
Jiang Xi looked at him with his back to him, the familiar curve of his shoulders, the familiar waistline, and the familiar warmth even though they were half a body apart.
He watched Pei Chongyuan tilt his head back as he turned his back to him, as if he was doing the same thing when he was a child and wanted to cry but held back.
Jiang Xi didn’t say anything, quietly walked around to Pei Chongyuan’s front, and just by looking at each other, he saw a tear from Pei Chongyuan’s right eye slide out.
A single tear rolled down the face he had loved for so many years and fell to the neck.
Pei Chongyuan smiled helplessly and said, ‘Shameful.’
Jiang Xi walked up to him, gently embraced him, and rubbed his face in the other person’s neck, suddenly feeling his nose tingle.
He said, ‘I don’t want to get along with you.’
While speaking, Jiang Xi also took on a nasal tone: ‘I hate you to death, and I hate myself to death.’
Pei Chongyuan hugged him tightly, as if he wanted to break Jiang Xi’s bones.
He no longer tried to control himself. As soon as the first tear fell, he had completely revealed himself to Jiang Xi.
‘I don’t even want to see you,’ Jiang Xi said, choking up, but trying hard to suppress his emotions. ‘I don’t even bother to treat you with contempt and humiliation, because they say the best way to get back at someone is actually to forget.’
Jiang Xi closed his eyes and said hatefully, ‘I was about to forget.’
Pei Chongyuan hugged him even tighter and sighed, ‘No, I can’t let you forget me.’
The moment the ring was put on, Jiang Xi had already been defeated. How long had it been since he had last embraced Pei Chongyuan like this?
In the past, he loved to cuddle with Pei Chongyuan. He liked to count the other person’s heartbeat while cuddling, feeling the other person’s heart gradually beating faster because of him.
He always used this way to prove that he was loved by this person.
Now, it is probably not necessary anymore.
They have gone around in circles like this, and they are no longer the same as they used to be. The way to prove love and being loved is also different from before.
He is not the same as he used to be, and Pei Chongyuan is not the same as Pei Chongyuan used to be.
They, and their relationship, were no longer the same as they were seven years ago.
Jiang Xi finally realised that sooner or later they would have to go through this. What caused all this was not just Pei Chongyuan’s problem, and he was not entirely innocent himself.
If they wanted to have a good relationship and make it last, they had to fix themselves first before they could love others, otherwise there would only be more mutual torment.
‘I can’t forget you,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘It might have been possible, but why did you have to come back for me?’
Jiang Xi had also thought that perhaps in a few years’ time, he would really have completely erased Pei Chongyuan from his world. Before Pei Chongyuan returned, at least he could already deceive others, and then it wouldn’t be long before he could deceive himself as well.
He said, ’Brother Pei, you won’t be forever in love with anyone.’
‘I will.’ Pei Chongyuan knew that Jiang Xi was just venting by saying such things, so he stroked Jiang Xi’s hair and whispered in his ear, “Xiaoxi, let’s fall in love again and I’ll show you if I’ll be forever in love with you.”
Jiang Xi vaguely saw Pei Chongyuan holding his hand as the two of them raised an axe together and completely smashed the broken mirror.
The past was completely shattered, and then Pei Chongyuan pulled him around and walked towards the other smooth and bright mirror.
He saw them standing side by side, both of them holding hands, their eyes red from crying, clearly seeing each other and themselves.
‘This is too risky,’ Jiang Xi said.
But he knew in his heart that the adventure had already begun.
‘I will always love you,’ Pei Chongyuan said, “my heart beats for you, I have good dreams for you, and I will try to live a little longer, live a little better, and spend more time with you.”
Spend more time with you.
Nothing else matters, Jiang Xi wants him to accompany her most.
Jiang Xi’s tears rubbed against Pei Chongyuan’s clothes, and he laughed softly, then let out a long sigh of relief.
After all is said and done, she just wants his company.
2008 On the second floor by the window, Pei Chongyuan sat next to Jiang Xi, a little uneasily rubbing his fingers against the wine glass in front of him.
‘If we fight again later, whose side are you on?’ Pei Chongyuan asked.
Back then, Tong Ye only found out about the two of them after they had parted ways. He rushed over directly and had a fight with Pei Chongyuan to vent his anger for Jiang Xi. At that time, Jiang Xi pulled Tong Ye away and protected him behind her back, looking at Pei Chongyuan coldly and saying, ‘Go away.’
Pei Chongyuan was not a person who knew how to fight. Anything that came to him would be dealt with calmly and rationally, and he would never get his hands dirty.
He didn’t like to solve problems in this way because he knew that it wouldn’t solve the problem at all.
But Tong Ye and the others were young after all, in their twenties, very impulsive, and Pei Chongyuan could not say that he did not understand.
But then again, that incident left an indelible impression or blow on Pei Chongyuan, mainly because of the sentence Jiang Xi said at the time.
It really hurt.
So he was still scared, not because he was worried that Tong Ye would fight with him again, but because he was calculating who Jiang Xi would help if they really got into a fight.
‘I’m not going to help anyone,‘ Jiang Xi said with a smile as she sipped her drink, “I’ll just post the video online.”
’That’s really ruthless,’ Pei Chongyuan said, unable to decide whether to laugh or cry, and gave Jiang Xi’s little finger a tug.
The two of them were chatting when Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng arrived.
They had arranged to meet at 3pm in 2008, and the sun was shining.
Tong Ye came up the wooden stairs in an aggressive manner, like the Hulk after a transformation.
Jiang Xi leaned against the window, basking in the sun, and said lazily, ‘Be careful, don’t damage my stairs.’
Tong Ye rolled his eyes and glared at Pei Chongyuan, who was sitting next to Jiang Xi with a smug smile on his face.
He walked over with his eyes rolling, pulled Rong Xiasheng to sit down, and sat opposite Jiang Xi. Rong Xiasheng faced Pei Chongyuan, whose face he really couldn’t stand. After sitting down, he directly used his hand to block the corner of his eye, and even a glance made him feel suffocated.
In the past, he respected this brother quite a bit, and back then, Pei Chongyuan had also benefited him a lot. Many of the performances their band had at that time were opportunities they got thanks to Pei Chongyuan’s connections.
But then, the more Tong Ye thought about it, the more upset he became. He felt that it was a selfish and shameless act of betraying his brother’s body and soul for a pittance. Because of this, he couldn’t hold his head up in front of Jiang Xi for a long time.
Although Jiang Xi had said countless times that these were two different things, Tong Ye just couldn’t get over it and it was upsetting.
For a long time, Tong Ye would fly into a rage whenever he thought about Pei Chongyuan. Jiang Xi even suspected that it was Tong Ye who had broken up with Pei Chongyuan, because the guy was even angrier than he was.
‘I’m angry,’ Tong Ye said.
Jiang Xi shouted at Qin Song downstairs, ‘Get your brother Tong Ye a cup of chrysanthemum tea to soothe his anger.’
Tong Ye glared at him, and then glanced at the ring the two people across from him were wearing on their hands.
Tong Ye had seen that ring before.
Back then, he was an innocent college student, and when he saw Pei Chongyuan wearing that ring on his finger, he even mistakenly thought that the other person was already married. Later, he learned that it was the couple’s engagement ring, and that Jiang Xi had bought it for them!
He felt sorry for Jiang Xi.
Qin Song really got a cup of chrysanthemum tea and brought it up, giving Tong Ye chrysanthemum tea and Rong Xiasheng jasmine tea.
‘You smell good,‘ Tong Ye leaned over to smell it, and then successfully exchanged cups with Rong Xiasheng.
He took a sip of tea, which burned his tongue, and then rolled his eyes at Pei Chongyuan.
Pei Chongyuan smiled innocently, “Why are you glaring at me? Did I tell you to drink it?”
’Brother Xi, what’s wrong with you?’ Tong Ye didn’t pick up on Pei Chongyuan’s line of questioning, but turned to Jiang Xi instead, ’Why are you being so stubborn?’
‘I’ve completely let go,’ Jiang Xi said, not playing along with his joke. He sat up straight and looked at him seriously, “I never told you before because I knew that with your personality, you would definitely worry about it with me.”
He took a sip of the drink in front of him and said, “I’ve already talked to Teacher Rong about this.”
Tong Ye widened his eyes and looked at Rong Xiasheng.
Rong Xiasheng smiled at him, lowered his head, and took a small sip of tea without saying a word.
‘Ah, I understand, I’m the only idiot in the world.‘
Rong Xiaosheng squeezed his hand: “Don’t talk nonsense.”
’Really, I feel aggrieved,‘ Tong Ye said, “even you are hiding it from me.”
’It was me who stopped Teacher Rong from telling you,’ Jiang Xi said, “because I didn’t think we could still be together.”
Pei Chongyuan coughed lightly and said to Tong Ye, ’Let me talk about this.’
He looked at Tong Ye and said, ‘First, as a friend, you just need to wish us well. As the saying goes, it’s better to encourage than to discourage. So I hope you can give us your blessing.’
Tong Ye rolled his eyes.
‘Second, so much time has passed, and we’ve both changed. Although I don’t think we need your approval or acceptance to be in a relationship, Xiaxi thinks of you as her best friend, so I hope you can give us your blessing.’
Tong Ye rolled his eyes again.
‘Finally, the two of us are not making up, we’re starting a relationship from scratch,’ Pei Chongyuan said. “This means a lot to us, so I still hope you can give us your blessing.”
Tong Ye’s rolling eyes nearly reached the ceiling.
Saying important things three times? This guy really knows how to do it. But no matter what he said, Tong Ye still wanted to roll his eyes.
‘Don’t roll your eyes,’ Pei Chongyuan said, smiling as he took up his glass and spoke to Tong Ye. “No matter how much you hated me before, you’re going to inevitably have to see me a lot in the future, after all, Jiang Xi and I are going to grow old together this time.”
He raised his chin at Tong Ye: “Have a drink, and let bygones be bygones.”
Tong Ye didn’t really know what he was feeling. He had long known that Jiang Xi would never let go of this person, otherwise she wouldn’t have remained single for so many years.
He also hoped that Jiang Xi would be happy, that he would be with the person he liked, and that the person he kept hidden in his heart would sincerely stay by his side.
He was just not sure how long Pei Chongyuan would stay with Jiang Xi this time. He didn’t think the man was reliable.
But just as they said, Jiang Xi was not a child, nor was he stupid. He had his own considerations for everything he did. All he, as a friend, needed to do was to step in when his friend needed help, and give his blessing when there was no need.
Tong Ye sighed, feeling sorry for Jiang Xi.
‘Tong Ye,’ Jiang Xi also picked up his glass, ‘trust my judgment and my decision.’
Tong Ye looked at him, silent for a few seconds, then smiled.
‘Okay,’ Tong Ye said, ‘I can’t trust him, but I have to trust you.’
He picked up the glass in front of him and was about to say something to wish him luck when he instead let out a ‘holy shit.’
‘It’s hot!”
Everyone laughed, and Tong Ye, feeling aggrieved, held out his hand for Rong Xiasheng to blow on it.
Jiang Xi leaned on Pei Chongyuan’s shoulder with a smile, not knowing when the other person had taken her hand.
The rings on their fingers overlapped, looking exceptionally happy and gentle in the warm winter sun, and it was rare.
Tong Ye and the others asked Jiang Xi before they left, ’What are you two going to do to welcome the New Year?’
Jiang Xi said, ‘Go home and do what needs to be done. We plan to keep doing it until next year.’
At midnight, outside the city’s fifth ring road, clusters of fireworks exploded in the sky, celebrating the arrival of the New Year.
Jiang Xi lay in bed, hugging Pei Chongyuan tightly. He looked at the fireworks outside the window, and after being kissed on the tattoo on his waist, he heard Pei Chongyuan whisper in his ear, ‘Happy New Year, my love.’
Happy New Year.
Jiang Xi said, ‘Go with me to get the tattoo removed some other time.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘It hurts too much to get it removed, so just get a different one and cover it up.’
He took Jiang Xi’s hand and placed it on his chest, ‘By the way, I’ll get one too, right here, with your name on it, okay?’
Jiang Xi smiled, hugged him, and whispered something, but it was drowned out by the sudden sound of exploding fireworks.
But it didn’t matter.
Pei Chongyuan knew that he had definitely agreed.
Another firework illuminated the dark night sky, and also lit up the dim room and the pair of identical rings on the ring finger.
Everything has been hard-won. I will always be in love with you, my heart beats for you, and I will make sweet dreams for you.
And this time, let’s keep having these sweet dreams until we’re old.
[End of main text]
The author has something to say:
It’s over, and I’ll start updating the extra chapters tomorrow. There are two planned extras: one is about Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan’s sweet daily life, and the other is about Qin Song and Xiao Wen, which I want to write to satisfy my selfishness. By the way, some girls may not know, but Tong Ye and Rong Xiasheng were the protagonists of my last book, which is titled ‘The Daydream of a Single Man’. And by the way, while I’m writing this extra chapter, I’m also preparing to start the next chapter, ‘Orientation is You,’ about a sweet, two-way crush in the entertainment industry. You can learn more about it in the column, and I’d like to take this opportunity to bow manually.
Finally, I would like to thank the girls who follow the articles, the genuine readers, everyone who voted, and everyone who left a serious comment. This article is a new attempt for me in terms of character setting, theme, and article structure. When this article was being serialised, there was a period of time when it was really difficult. Thank you for supporting and staying with me. I hope that this story has not disappointed you in the end.
Starting tomorrow, I will make up for the lack of sugar. Once again, I bow to thank everyone. See you tomorrow.

Chapter 65 Extra 01
As the Spring Festival approached, Qin Song asked, ‘Boss, when do we get the holiday off?’
He had followed Jiang Xi for several years, but had never asked this question before.
Back then, Qin Song had caused a big scene in the entire residential area because he had come out to his family, and was beaten out of the house by his father and dropped out of school. In the past few years, he would occasionally call his mother, but didn’t say much, just to report that he was safe. As for holidays and such, he had never left the store.
There was nowhere to go.
He doesn’t go home, and there’s nowhere else he wants to go.
So when he asked the question, Jiang Xi laughed and said, ‘Why? Are you going home for the New Year this year?’
Jiang Xi’s own family situation can no longer be described as ‘fragmented’, but he still hopes that a reconciliation can be reached one day, as in Qin Song’s family.
Qin Song misses home a lot, he knows.
‘Hey, I’m not going back,‘ Song said, wiping the wine glass with a grin. “I was asking for Wen. The other day I heard him talking to his family on the phone, and it sounded like his grandmother was asking when he was going to go home for the New Year.”
Song said, “I guess he didn’t have the nerve to ask you.”
Jiangxi leaned against the bar and looked at him, “So you just asked?”
’Of course, I’ve got a thick skin,’
Jiang Xi laughed and went over to help him with the work: ‘You’re going to his house for the New Year?’
Qin Song winced: ‘Boss, don’t talk nonsense, Wen and I are innocent.’
‘Well, innocent.’ Jiang Xi picked up his phone and looked at it: ‘You can go on the Eve of the Lunar New Year and come back after the 15th.’
Qin Song was shocked: ‘Boss, did you sell the shop behind our backs? If you take such a long holiday, will you still be able to do business?’
In fact, business is very good in the few days before the Spring Festival. Many people returning from other places will meet up with friends to eat and drink at this time. Xiaonian will start their holiday, and Qin Song feels like he has lost 100 million yuan.
‘It’s been three or four years, hasn’t it? You’ve never taken a holiday,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘Even if you take a holiday together this year, go home, or go out and have some fun, don’t just stay in the shop by yourself during the New Year. It’s like I’m bullying you.’
‘By yourself?’ Qin Song accurately grasped the point, “Do you have plans with your brother this year?”
Since Jiang Xi started seeing Pei Chongyuan, Qin Song has felt increasingly lonely. His boss used to rely on him, but now he’s abandoned him on such an important day as the New Year.
Qin Song lamented with a sense of grievance, ’We can’t go back to the days when we sat at the bar eating frozen dumplings.’
Jiang Xi laughed and said, ‘Don’t be silly.’
‘So you two really have plans?’ Qin Song said, ‘I thought the three of us would be together this year, but in the end it’s just going to be me.’
At this time, Wen came downstairs from upstairs, yawning, stuttering and saying hello to Jiang Xi, then tilting his head and asking Qin Song, ‘Xiao Song…brother, what’s…just going to be you?’
Before Qin Song could say anything, Jiang Xi answered for him: ‘I have plans with Brother Pei for the New Year. You’ll have to go back to your hometown, won’t you? No one will be there to keep him company.’
Wen, who had just woken up, had his eyes wide open, like two little almonds.
He held back for a long time, and Qin Song and Jiang Xi didn’t dare to breathe, for fear of interrupting his luck and making him even more speechless.
Xiaowen: ‘Well…then, why don’t you come home with me?’
After he finished speaking, Xiaowen’s face visibly turned red.
Qin Song pursed her lips, her eyes shining, and her wolf tail began to wag.
Jiang Xi suppressed a smile and turned around, pretending to be very calm and said, ‘Anyway, the New Year’s holiday will start soon, so you guys can go wherever you want.’
Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan did have their own plans.
In recent years, Pei Chongyuan had been wondering when he could celebrate the New Year with Jiang Xi again, even if it was just sitting together and eating dumplings.
Now that they finally had the chance, Pei Chongyuan had started planning long ago.
A year ago, Pei Chongyuan’s project had come to an end, and he had received a good year-end bonus. Most importantly, because they had worked day and night without rest before, the company had specially approved an early holiday for their project team.
So on the day of the Chinese New Year, Pei Chongyuan stood at the entrance of the residential compound waiting for Jiang Xi, carrying two large suitcases.
When Jiang Xi arrived in his car, the back seat was full of ingredients and various kinds of instant food, as well as some necessities.
Pei Chongyuan opened the boot and put the two suitcases in, then got into the car and drove off.
They were going to spend the Chinese New Year in the idyllic place that Jiang Xi had always longed for. Jiang Xi had been looking forward to it every day for more than half a month, ever since the plan had been set in stone.
‘I always thought you had sold that place too.”
Back then, Pei Chongyuan drove and took Jiang Xi to the house in the mountains to stay for three days.
Those three days have always been unforgettable for Jiang Xi.
He likes that place, it’s quiet and free, and there’s a sense of grounding that returns you to the real world.
When he first went there, Jiang Xi thought that it would be nice if he and Pei Chongyuan could spend their old age there, walking in the mountains and talking in the courtyard.
Jiang Xi had once fantasised about countless romantic futures, only to have them all shattered.
Fortunately, those fantasies now have the possibility of being brought up again. He won’t say them out loud, but perhaps they are heading in that direction.
‘It was close,’ Pei Chongyuan opened a can of coffee and took a sip, ‘Lawsuits are quite expensive, selling houses and cars, but I never let go of this one.’
Jiang Xi glanced at him: ‘Why?’
Both of them had got up early today, especially Pei Chongyuan, who had got up more than an hour earlier than Jiang Xi to pack and cook.
It would take almost three hours to drive from the city, and Pei Chongyuan was afraid that Jiang Xi would be tired, so he offered to drive, but Jiang Xi refused, thinking of Pei Chongyuan’s early start.
Pei Chongyuan handed Jiang Xi the coffee, fed him a sip, and replied, ‘Because I remember that you like it.’
Jiang Xi’s heart was filled with this sentence, not to the point of being full of honey, but it was also clear and sweet Nongfu Spring.
Jiang Xi smiled and said softly, ‘It’s rare that you remember.’
The two of them remembered many things about each other, they just didn’t easily say them.
Jiang Xi turned on the stereo and Pei Chongyuan softly sang along, ‘The price paid for love is unforgettable…’
This was the song Jiang Xi was listening to when they first met.
That tall boy with long legs standing in the cold wind and snow, wearing a thin cotton jacket, with headphones on and his head bowed, suddenly and inevitably appeared in Pei Chongyuan’s world.
There was a red light ahead, and Pei Chongyuan took Jiang Xi’s hand and held it, gently running his fingers over the ring on the other person’s ring finger.
The weather was perfect today, although it was the dead of winter, but it was sunny.
Jiang Xi said, ‘When we get there later, we’ll clean up the bedroom and get some sleep.’
Pei Chongyuan smiled and said, ‘Okay, you rest, I’ll clean up.’
Jiang Xi looked at him and said with a smile, ‘That’s exactly what I meant.’
The two went up the mountain. It had been a few years since they had been here last, and Jiang Xi felt quite emotional.
It was also almost this time last time they were here. In winter, the flowers and plants on the mountain were asleep, and the trees were withered, looking quite desolate and depressed.
He likes it here. Although he has never seen the beauty of other seasons, he feels that this is his ideal place to relax.
They parked the car, and Pei Chongyuan said, ‘We didn’t come early to try if the appliances still work. If they break down, it would be a problem for both of us.’
Jiang Xi got out of the car and opened the back door, saying, ‘Don’t think I don’t know. The air conditioner and refrigerator you ordered a while ago weren’t delivered here. Could it be that they went to someone’s lover’s house?’
Pei Chongyuan laughed helplessly: ‘It’s true that you can’t hide anything from you.’
Since they decided to spend the New Year here, Pei Chongyuan has been busy. He came twice in advance to find someone to clean and replace some electrical appliances.
Unexpectedly, Jiang Xi knew about all this.
The two of them first carried the ingredients inside, and Jiang Xi turned on the circuit breaker and checked every part of the house again.
Because Pei Chongyuan had made thorough preparations beforehand, there was nothing for them to tidy up. They just needed to make the bed again, turn on the air conditioning to warm the house, and then they could rest.
As soon as the air conditioning was turned on, the room was cold, and the two of them looked like a pair of little old men, each holding a hot cup of water and sitting on the bed, dressed in thick clothes.
Jiang Xi looked out of the window and said, sipping his hot water, ‘I thought I would never be able to come again.’
‘Me too,’ Pei Chongyuan followed his gaze and looked out the window too. The sun was shining, and it looked warm.
Pei Chongyuan said, “After we parted ways, I wanted to sell this place. I felt that even if I didn’t sell it, I wouldn’t be able to come back again.”
Jiang Xi looked at him and realised at that moment that he wasn’t the only one who missed those three days.
It seems that nothing much happened in those three days, but it was precisely this kind of peaceful and gentle routine that was most touching and unforgettable.
‘Then why didn’t you want to sell it afterwards?’
‘Because I thought, no matter what, I had to win you back,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile. ‘I had no choice, I like it too much.’
Jiang Xi looked at him sideways, with a smile in her eyes.
‘You like it too much?’
‘Yes, I like it too much,’ Pei Chongyuan said. ‘I guess you’re my nemesis, the one who can cure my heart disease.’
Pei Chongyuan put his cup on the table by the bed and took Jiang Xi’s and put it down as well.
He hugged Jiang Xi from behind and asked, ‘Are you still cold?’
“It’s okay.’
‘Okay? So is it cold or not?‘ While speaking, Pei Chongyuan had already pressed his lips to the back of Jiang Xi’s neck and said with a smile, “When it’s cold, you still have to exercise a bit to get the blood flowing.”
Jiang Xi smiled as she held his hand, “If you want to do it, just say so. What’s the point of going around in circles?”
’It’s called having fun,’ Pei Chongyuan pulled him down onto the bed, ’Let’s exercise a bit, then take a hot shower and go to sleep.’
He leaned over and pressed his lips to Jiang Xi’s nose tip: ‘We’ll continue exercising after you wake up.’
Jiang Xi laughed: ‘What do you mean? Do you want to make up for the past few years in these few days?’
‘That’s the idea,’ Pei Chongyuan hugged him, closed his eyes, and let out a long breath of contentment, ‘I’ve been thinking these past few days that when we retire in the future, we’ll come here to spend our old age together, as long as you can bear the loneliness and don’t mind if I get tired of looking at you.’
Pei Chongyuan asked softly, ‘Will it be boring?’
Jiang Xi thought about it for a while before answering, ‘Let’s talk about the future later. Maybe it will be boring later.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed, ‘Boring later? That won’t do. I’ll have to do something to make you happy.’
The warm winter sun outside peeked in the window, where two grown men were wrapped in a still-cool quilt, doing something hot.

Chapter 66: Extra Chapter 1 02
The meaning of existence of a paradise is to obliterate the trivialities and worries of everyday life and return to a true sense of life.
Jiang Xi felt that after they arrived here, the concept of time became blurred. They no longer needed to keep an eye on their watches and phones every day, and they didn’t need to worry about anyone interrupting their leisurely vacation.
The two of them wore thick loungewear every day and led the most simple life: they worked when the sun rose and rested when the sun set.
They got up at seven or eight every morning, and Jiang Xi would lazily pinch Pei Chongyuan’s nose to wake him up. In the evening, Jiang Xi would place her cold feet on Pei Chongyuan’s stomach, warming them with his warm belly.
Occasionally, Pei Chongyuan would rub Jiang Xi’s tattoo on her waist with his hand. That sentence was tattooed there by Jiang Xi after they broke up, specifically to hold a grudge against Pei Chongyuan.
Not long ago, during the New Year’s Eve, they had said they were going to get a new tattoo to cover up the words, but they never found the time to go, and kept putting it off, until the Chinese New Year.
Jiang Xi actually didn’t care that much anymore. To him, the past was like a wheel rolling over him, crushing him, leaving marks, and when he got back up, he just cursed a little and got over it.
What’s more, now that his relationship with Pei Chongyuan has completely overturned the previous pattern, they have created a new world after their reunion, and there is no need to dwell on the traces of the past.
But Pei Chongyuan couldn’t, and he was still obsessed with the outrageous things he had said to Jiang Xi on impulse.
‘Are you going to rub my skin off with your finger?’ Jiang Xi yawned and glanced at him, ‘I’m hungry.’
Pei Chongyuan withdrew his hand and leaned over to kiss him.
‘I’ll go cook dinner.’
‘Wait a minute.’ Jiang Xi took his hand, pulled him back and cuddled him for a while, ‘Let’s take a bath together, then cook dinner together.’
The two of them lived here, and every day they had to rely on electric blankets and air conditioners to keep warm. Neither could be turned on all night, so when they got up in the morning, only the covers were warm, and sometimes Jiang Xi didn’t even want to stretch out his fingers when he woke up.
‘Okay, then wait a while, and get up when the room is warm.‘
Pei Chongyuan took the remote control, turned on the air conditioner, and hugged Jiang Xi, curling up under the covers.
’It’s snowing,‘ he whispered in Jiang Xi’s ear.
Jiang Xi turned his head and looked out the window, rising slightly to see that a thin layer of snow had already accumulated outside.
’It’s so quiet,’ Jiang Xi said. ’When it snows in the mountains, it feels different from the city.’
He got out of the quilt and sat by the window.
Pei Chongyuan was afraid that he would catch a cold, so he went over and wrapped him in the quilt.
‘After dinner, we can go outside and build a snowman.’
Facing Pei Chongyuan’s proposal, Jiang Xi smiled: ‘I didn’t think you still had a childlike heart.’
Pei Chongyuan pretended to be aggrieved: ‘I knew you thought I was old.’
After the New Year, Jiang Xi was 26 and Pei Chongyuan was 36.
They had known each other for seven years and four months. During that time, they had been happy and sad, childish and mature.
They had seen each other at their most attractive and at their most broken, and no one was more suited to the other.
Jiang Xi leaned against him and looked out the window at the snow, and said to him, ‘I just don’t think you’re old enough.’
If only they were a little older, they would have become too old to go down the mountain at will, so they would be stuck here, relying on each other, on the mountains, the water, the sky, the earth, and the love they had for each other, taking one step at a time towards the future.
Jiang Xi began to impatiently want to grow old, he wanted to see if it was true that they would still love each other until the day they grew old.
The room gradually warmed up, and the two of them took a long bath together.
When they came out, Pei Chongyuan sighed, ‘In the future, if I have something important to do and have to go out, I definitely can’t take a bath with you.’
Jiang Xi walked behind him, wiping his hair while laughing, ‘Why?’
Pei Chongyuan turned around and smiled, glanced at him, pulled him over, and sat him down in a chair.
“You know the answer!’
Pei Chongyuan wiped the hair on his head, picked up the hair dryer and started blow-drying his hair.
Jiang Xi’s hair had grown a little long and was already covering his ears.
The black, shiny hair was very comfortable to the touch, and after drying, the ends curled up slightly naturally, so that if you didn’t know any better, you might think that it had been styled on purpose.
After finishing blow-drying his hair, Pei Chongyuan said as he tidied up the worktop, ‘When I first met you, your hair was so short that you were almost bald.’
At that time, Jiang Xi had just had a short haircut that was close to the scalp, because he felt that it would be troublesome to take care of a little longer hair, and besides, the barbers in the barber shop were all talkative, so Jiang Xi felt earache every time he went.
Now he still doesn’t like going to the barber shop, otherwise he wouldn’t have let his hair grow so long.
He lifted his hand and brushed the bangs in front of his forehead, stood up, and stretched.
Pei Chongyuan took the opportunity to touch his exposed waist, and then asked with a smile, ‘What do you want to eat?’
‘I don’t know.’ Jiang Xi turned around, put his arms around Pei Chongyuan’s neck from behind, hung on to him, and was led to the kitchen just like that.
Pei Chongyuan dragged Jiang Xi to stand in front of the refrigerator and opened the door to take a look.
‘Cream of mushroom soup?’
“I’ve never had it.’
‘Let’s try it today then.‘ Pei Chongyuan took the mushrooms and milk out of the fridge and asked Jiang Xi, “This milk hasn’t expired, has it?”
’I don’t know.‘ Jiang Xi let go of Pei Chongyuan and took the milk from his hand. After searching for a while, he finally saw the production date and shelf life, “It expires in three days.”
’Then let’s hurry up and solve it.’ Pei Chongyuan took out all the ingredients needed and asked Jiang Xi to come over and help.
Jiang Xi was in high spirits, but he really had no experience or talent for doing these things.
He perfunctorily washed the mushrooms, and awkwardly and carefully cut the mushrooms, which should have been cut into slices, into cubes.
After washing the shrimp and chopping them into small pieces, he was about to pour the cooking wine into them. As soon as he picked up the cooking wine bottle, he saw the stack of mushroom cubes, and said with a mixture of laughter and tears, ‘This is the first time I’ve seen such cut mushrooms.’
Jiang Xi also knew that his cutting was not good, and he said bluntly, ‘That’s because you haven’t seen me cut vegetables before.’
‘Yes, isn’t that so,’ Pei Chongyuan quickly told him to put down the knife, ‘I’ll cut it, and you get the butter and flour for me.’
Jiang Xi felt that he had been looked down upon, but it didn’t matter if he was looked down upon in this regard. In the field of cooking, Jiang Xi knew that he could not have any status.
He put down the knife, washed his hands, and turned to get the butter.
Once everything was ready, Pei Chongyuan placed the butter in the pan and prepared to stir-fry the mushrooms and shrimp. He suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to chop the onion, so he quickly asked Jiang Xi for help.
Jiang Xi had been leaning over eating an apple and watching the fun, quietly feeling that life was really easy and happy with such a man in the kitchen.
He heard Pei Chongyuan call him, immediately put down the apple, rolled up his sleeves and prepared to show off his skills.
It was no big deal to chop an onion.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Just cut a little bit, and be careful not to get it in your eyes.’
When Jiang Xi finally came over with a small dish of chopped onions, his eyes were red and he looked at Pei Chongyuan with tears in his eyes.
‘Look, isn’t this a pretty good cut?’
Pei Chongyuan looked at his tear-stained eyelashes and couldn’t help but find him cute.
‘Come over here.’
Jiang Xi thought he had something to say and leaned forward.
Unexpectedly, Pei Chongyuan told him to come closer in order to kiss him.
A kiss landed on his lips, and then he took the small plate in his hand and poured the chopped onions into it.
‘Thanks, baby, you did a good job.’
Jiang Xi laughed triumphantly, and then asked Pei Chongyuan, ‘What does it taste like when you kiss?’
‘The smell of onions,’ Pei teased him, “it’s suffocating.”
Jiang Xi glared at him and continued eating his apple.
Pei Chongyuan’s cooking was really good, and it was all the result of practicing for Jiang Xi during those days.
He made a cream of mushroom soup and a curry omelette, and the two of them leisurely finished their morning meal.
After eating and drinking their fill, Jiang Xi said, ’Let’s go make a snowman.’
It was snowing heavily outside, and the yard had accumulated a thick layer of snow, like a layer of clean, sweet cream.
‘Okay, go change.’
The two of them changed into thick coats, and Pei Chongyuan even forced Jiang Xi to put on a scarf.
‘It’s just in the yard, there’s no need,’ Jiang Xi muttered reluctantly.
“No, in case you catch a cold, it’s not convenient to go to the hospital here,’
The two of them, wearing down jackets bought together a year ago, scarves of the same style, one pair of gloves for each, pushed open the door and went out into the courtyard.
The courtyard was covered in flat, beautiful snow that hadn’t been trampled on, and Jiang Xi left his first footprint on it.
Like a little explorer, he took one step at a time, walking solemnly and cautiously.
Pei Chongyuan followed behind him, stepping on the path Jiang Xi had walked on. The two sets of shoe prints overlapped, and Pei Chongyuan felt sweet even over such a trivial matter.
Jiang Xi came to the middle of the courtyard and said to Pei Chongyuan, ‘I told you that the snow here is different from the snow in the city.’
After saying this, he lay back on the snow.
He opened his arms and lay on his back in the shape of the Chinese character ‘大’ (da), with the snow falling all over him. He closed his eyes and felt the slight cold of the snowflakes.
Pei Chongyuan walked over and lay down next to him, taking his hand.
Jiang Xi turned his head to look at him and said, ‘Brother Pei, do you want to kiss?’
Pei Chongyuan smiled, rolled over, and pressed on top of him.
The two kissed in the snow, kissing in the goose-down-like heavy snow. They didn’t feel cold at all, only romantic and gentle.
The two kissing in the heavy snow soon became covered in white, and they merged with the earth, becoming an unnoticed touch of decoration in the white world.
However, what the snow covered was not ice, but a ball of fire, a scorching kiss and scorching love.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Are you happy, Jiang Xi?’
Jiang Xi looked at him in silence for a while and said, ‘I’m probably happier than every year in the past.’
Looking at the snow falling on Pei Chongyuan’s hair, it was white, and only the dark hair was faintly visible.
In a daze, Jiang Xi felt as if they had really gone gray together. At the moment, they were just two old children who had loved each other for a lifetime, lovingly entwined shamelessly in the snow.

Chapter 67 Extra 03
The snow made Jiang Xi feel romantic, but unfortunately the snow in the city was nowhere near as beautiful as the snow in the mountains.
Fortunately, thanks to Pei Chongyuan, he was able to appreciate such a beautiful sight.
The two of them embraced intimately in the snow, kissed passionately, held hands and got up to build a snowman.
These two guys didn’t really have a childhood. Jiang Xi didn’t like playing with other kids when she was little, and she never made a snowman or had a snowball fight. Pei Chongyuan, on the other hand, was strictly disciplined at home and spent his childhood studying while everyone else played.
Now that I think about it, this was actually the first time they had ever made a snowman.
The freshly fallen snow was very loose and didn’t stick, and after they formed it into a ball it easily came apart again.
Jiang Xi stood to one side, directing and picking faults at the same time.
‘You do it,’ Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I’ll see if you can make it.’
Jiang Xi sneered disdainfully, walked over, bent down, and scooped up a large handful of white snow from the ground. As a result, he couldn’t make a large snowball either.
Pei Chongyuan laughed loudly after his failure, but Jiang Xi stood up with a cold face, looked at him with cold eyes, and suddenly and unexpectedly threw a snowball.
The snowball landed right in Pei Chongyuan’s chest area. Pei Chongyuan was stunned, and then covered his chest and said, ‘It’s over, I’ve been hit by an arrow.’
Jiang Xi glanced at him disdainfully and didn’t even pick up on his line of conversation.
‘Why don’t you ask me what kind of arrow I’ve been hit by?’ Pei Chongyuan came over and squatted next to Jiang Xi to make snowballs with him.
‘So what kind of arrow have you been hit by?’ Jiang Xi reluctantly cooperated with his acting.
Pei Chongyuan smiled, leaned over and kissed Jiang Xi’s red ear, then said, ‘The arrow of Cupid.’
After that, both of them laughed. Jiang Xi said, ‘Come on, don’t say those disgusting things.’
‘Disgusting?’ Pei Chongyuan pretended to be hurt, sat in the snow and poked at the snow with a wry smile, ‘I confessed to you, and you even find me disgusting.’
Jiang Xi turned his head and looked at him, and he laughed as he watched.
The snow was still falling, falling heavily. Not far away, the branches in the courtyard were broken by the heavy snow and fell with a ‘pop’ before being buried in the snow.
Jiang Xi had had enough of teasing Pei Chongyuan, and when she realised that they could not build a snowman, she gave up.
They lay in the snow chatting, not feeling the cold at all.
‘Brother Pei, I’m thinking of Kong Xun,’
It had been nearly four years since Kong Xun’s death, and every snowy winter Jiang Xi would still think of him.
It seems that it is very easy for a person to appear and disappear, and once they appear, they are unforgettable, but once they disappear, they are gone forever.
‘I went to visit him a while ago,’ Pei Chongyuan took out a cigarette from the pocket of his down jacket and asked Jiang Xi, ‘would you like one?’
Jiang Xi reached out and waited for Pei Chongyuan to light his cigarette.
The two men lay in the snow, smoking, their heads resting on the creamy white snow, as they looked up at the grey sky.
‘Kong Xun actually understands life better than I do,‘ Pei Chongyuan said. “He once told me something.”
He took a drag on his cigarette, his eyes catching the falling, cool snowflakes.
’It was years ago, before we split up. Back then, Kong Xun said that if we ever split up, I would regret it for the rest of my life,’ he said.
Pei Chongyuan let out a light laugh. ’Everyone else understood, but I was the only one who didn’t.’
Jiang Xi turned to look at him and took his hand.
‘Big brother says you’re his best friend,’ Jiang Xi said, his vision blurred by the white haze of his breath. ‘When he found out about the cancer, he didn’t plan on telling anyone, not even me. Later, he had no choice but to find someone to take over the bar. I asked him why he didn’t ask you, and he said you were in a bit of trouble and couldn’t handle it.’
Pei Chongyuan frowned: ‘It was around that time.’
During that period, the loopholes in the contract gradually became apparent, and Pei Chongyuan began to be overwhelmed. Kong Xun had called, but the two of them just talked about their current situations. They both said that life was hard, but neither of them said what was actually happening to them.
Kong Xun didn’t mention his illness, only telling Pei Chongyuan not to overtax his body. Work was important, but health was more important.
And Pei Chongyuan didn’t mention that he might fall. He just told Kong Xun to go for a drink with him when he was done with work, and they would drink until they passed out.
Drink until they pass out.
But they never saw each other again.
Neither wanted their friends to worry about them, and as a result, they both had regrets.
‘For a while I was really scared,’ Jiang Xi said, ‘because of what happened to my brother, I even wondered if you had also developed some kind of terminal illness and were hiding away, otherwise why hadn’t you shown up for so long.’
Jiang Xi took a drag on her cigarette and said with a bitter smile, ‘When my eldest brother was alive, we both deliberately avoided talking about you, but I think he would have really liked to see you.’
At this point, looking back on the path they have travelled, it seems that all the grievances have become less severe. After being relieved and accepting themselves and the other part of their lives again, what happened at that time seems like ancient history, a long way off.
It’s just sad, that people who were once so vivid and familiar will never be seen again.
‘I was also quite scared back then,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a wry smile, holding a cigarette. ‘I may not have mentioned it to you, but I was really scared every day. In a place like that, it’s impossible for a person to live like a human being.’
He took a deep breath and sighed: ‘What was I afraid of? I was afraid that after I got out, I wouldn’t even have the courage or the qualifications to stand in front of you.’
Jiang Xi looked at him.
Pei Chongyuan was not someone who would easily expose his weaknesses. He always hid his weak and cowardly side, whether he was facing someone close to him or not, and he would never let the other person feel even the slightest hint of his weakness.
But today, probably because he had thought of Kong Xun, Pei Chongyuan had rarely opened up about himself.
‘I’m really quite surprised that we’ve come to this result,’ Pei Chongyuan looked at him with a smile, ‘thank you for saving my face.’
Jiang Xi also smiled at him and rolled over to kiss him.
‘Let’s go see him together when we go back,’ Jiang Xi said. ‘He’ll want to see us together.’
The snow continued to fall for several days, and Jiang Xi and Pei Chongyuan finally finished building their snowman before New Year’s Eve.
On New Year’s Eve, the two got up early and pasted Spring Festival couplets on the front door, as well as the word ‘fortune’ on every other door in the house.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘My mother taught me this. For the Chinese New Year, you have to put “fu” on every door so that good fortune can come in.’
When it came to his mother, Jiang Xi suddenly remembered that Pei Chongyuan hadn’t spent any time with her for several years.
‘Where is your aunt spending the Chinese New Year?’
‘Abroad,’ Pei Chongyuan said with a smile. ‘Didn’t I tell you? She found a foreign husband a while ago, and she’s doing quite well.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘You really haven’t told me that.’
‘I was going to take you to meet her this Chinese New Year, but then they went on a family holiday and you happened to want to come here. Let’s do it some other time.”
Jiang Xi looked at him and didn’t say that she quite wanted to meet Pei Chongyuan’s mother.
Meeting would be like their relationship being affirmed.
Jiang Xi knew that under such social circumstances, there was no way for the two of them to get married. He didn’t really care about the paper certificate, but he just wanted to be recognised.
Perhaps it was because he had never felt any warmth from his family since childhood that he was both afraid of and looking forward to ‘family’.
In the evening, the two of them made dumplings while waiting to watch the Spring Festival Gala on their laptop.
They had not watched the Spring Festival Gala for many years, and it was not very interesting.
But this year, for some reason, they were looking forward to it.
Pei Chongyuan joked, ‘It seems like the two of us have really become two boring old men.’
However, the signal on the mountain was poor, and the internet was not good either. Watching a live broadcast, they could get stuck for three minutes every thirty seconds.
Jiang Xi said, ‘It’s like constipation.’
Pei Chongyuan laughed at him and taught him how to make dumplings.
The two of them each had a plate, and the ones they made themselves were placed on their own plates.
Pei Chongyuan’s dumplings all had plump bellies, looking full of energy, while Jiang Xi really couldn’t get it right and the ones he made looked funny with droopy eyes.
When the two of them cooked the dumplings, each had a pot and cooked them slowly over a low heat, afraid that they would boil over.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Tonight we’ll eat the ones we cooked ourselves.’
This was a veiled criticism of Jiang Xi’s ugly dumplings, which he wouldn’t eat.
In the end, when the dumplings were cooked, he still gave Jiang Xi his plate.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘Have you heard of this? If there is sugar in the dumplings eaten during the New Year, the coming year will be a sweet one.’
Jiang Xi bit into one and frowned at the taste of the dumpling.
“Did you put sugar in it?’
Pei Chongyuan said with a smile, ‘Yes, I’ve secretly put sugar in each one, so you have to eat them all.’
He counted the dumplings: ‘There are 20 in this plate, which will ensure that you have a sweet 20 years. It will continue next year, and not a single one can be left over.’
So on this New Year’s Eve, Jiang Xi was forced to eat 19 dumplings with an odd taste. He forced the last one left to Pei Chongyuan.
‘You must eat one,‘ Jiang Xi said, “eat this one, and I guarantee that your year will be sweet.”
’Just guarantee me one year?‘
’Yes,’ Jiang Xi said, “I’m not like you, cautious. I’ll decide whether to give you candy next year based on how you do next year.”
Pei Chongyuan ate the dumpling with a mixture of tears and laughter, and sighed, ’Next time, don’t buy peppermint-flavoured candy, this flavour is too overpowering.’
He ate the dumpling and watched the Spring Festival Gala intermittently.
Jiang Xi thought back to that year when he had spent his first New Year’s Eve with Pei Chongyuan.
It had been so long ago, and yet it seemed like just yesterday. At midnight, the two of them went out into the courtyard to set off fireworks. The bright and dark fireworks made Jiang Xi’s face flush with red. Pei Chongyuan asked him loudly, ‘Do you have any plans for the New Year?’
Jiang Xi looked at him and smiled, but didn’t say anything.
He did have a plan.
He was going to buy the house next door that Pei Chongyuan rented, and knock down the wall between the two houses to make it more convenient and spacious.
But for the time being, he wasn’t going to tell Pei Chongyuan, because he planned to be Pei Chongyuan’s sub-landlord for a while, teasing the other person.
‘What’s your plan?’ Jiang Xi asked.
Pei Chongyuan said, ‘I do.’
He put his hand on Jiang Xi’s shoulder and looked at the burning fireworks, saying, ‘The plan is to make you say that you love me, whether it’s cheating or deceiving.’
Jiang Xi laughed, ‘You love me.’
‘Yes, I love you.’
The two looked at each other in the darkened courtyard. After a long time, Jiang Xi suddenly said, ‘Brother Pei, I love you.’